exubf

ex-Hong Kong UBF blog

2011-10-28T20:52:00.000-07:00

Per somebody's request, here's a link to a Chinese-language blog put together by former members of the Hong Kong UBF:

hkubf.blogspot.com

KMW

2010-10-05T08:20:00.000-07:00

University Bible Fellowship (UBF) is evil part 1 (Link)

N. Lee (former Midwest UBF chapter)

2009-09-14T16:59:00.000-07:00

(circa 2004)

Hi, I found that as I struggled with leaving UBF, East***** (church) neither told me I had to, nor condemned me for originally going. The members told me that I was not being asked to leave UBF, but that I was being invited to experience God with them at THEIR church. Their open love and acceptance even though they knew about UBF really helped me to put my mind at ease. I no longer go to UBF, and I still keep in touch with some of it's more distant members. I pray that it will be fixed; either broken apart entirely, or rebuilt without the "control" and "power" issues it's been showing to have. I really love the people there, I just can't let them hurt me through what's either their ignorance, or serious problem.. I miss them sometimes, but God is all I need. If others are lost, they should try going to East*****, especially the youth grouped (sic), that's where I received the most help. Please don't display my email adress with this message, I worry for my protection from current members of UBF.. they've barged in my house numerous (sic) times before..

Thank you,
Sincerely, Anonymous N*****.

- Your site has truly blessed me.

Zagatta

2009-07-29T08:11:00.000-07:00

(Posted in the RSQUBF guestbook in 2008.)

Name: Zagatta
Comments: Wow, it is bad. At the beginning the worst mistake I did is to say yes to a Korean woman to have bible study the very first minutes I met her. I was coming back to my house after my last class in my bike. That day (stupid of me) I didnt ride my bike, just by the side of it. This Korean woman was walking normally but suddenly she changed her speed to veeeeery slow! We began to have our bible studies, but it was conflicting with my college studies so I decide not to have anything else with her. Wrong! One day I was alone in my house and taking a bath when this woman started to walk around the house to see if I was there..I got soooooo mad that I was about to call the police, but for pity I didnt. She asked me why I didnt like the bible studies..I didnt know how to explain so I lied to her. Something in my heart was telling me there was something wrong, but as always I never listened. Anyway, we continued the studies, but my feelings was attacking her verbally. I had to stop the studies in the middle of the sessions because I knew it wasnt right. Some how she was always patient...Eventually, I learn how to love her. Still, many things were bothering me. I dont like to be chased by her and UBF. It's been two years that I am in UBF and for the first time I found really bad info about UBF. I always knew they marriage by faith but never heard the bad side of it until I researched more about it. Plus, I never was agree... Ha! At the beginning M. (my teacher) asked me and pressured me to do testimonies. I did just one or three in the whole two years I've been here. I determined never do one because I dont like to share my information with anybody. I dont care! Now, I feel a little worried about everybody working hard doing testimonies and memorizing verses because I am doing nothing there. It is because I dont feel interested in doing it. I have lack of motivation for doing it. Honestly, I dont like the church to the point of hate it. If anyone has feel the Holy Spirit or the presence of the Lord that person knows it. I mean I do know when the Lord is around its people...and I cannot feel the presence of His Spirit in the church. Why??? because it is tooo methodical..the few times I felt the Lord was about to stay the stupid people leading the music stopped. They dont know how to recognize the Lord in the spirit! It is the kind of church I dont like. Here is there tradition: Stand up, pray, sit down, play the piano for silence pray, pray for everybody while reading, sing hymn #125, another pray, sing another hymn, preaching (usually boring till death, because they had to read it), offering, maybe any talent around to show up, and final praying with the neiborhood. What I mean with all this is: Where is the chance of the Lord to manifest??? Where is the real time of the Lord? Nowhere, because it is only human methodology...something empty of spirit. I am pleased that many people of this church are very good. I have been helped many times, but I dont want to stay in the church simply because they are giving me too much (maybe a way of manipulation to stay, who knows) It is something in my heart that long time ago is telling me: Don't trust them! I listen many times to God and I think this is God telling me to flee and I can confirm this because recently I found a job that I have to accept because I was economically bad. What happens is that this job I have to work on Sundays. M. is upset and praying about me to have me back on Sundays...I think that pray is not going to be answered since it is the same God that took me away from that church on Sundays...still I need to escape from the one on Wednesdays, plus the bible studies...but God is in total control...I love you God..thanks!

Thursday, August 14th 2008 - 09:39:39 PM

Chris Q. (former Canadian UBF)

2009-02-15T16:42:00.000-08:00

This is a long testimony... Just be forewarned.

It’s been about 5-6 months now since I left UBF. It’s taken me a long time to get over it. I still have a lot of anger and pain from my experiences. The question that I have asked God several times now is, what good came from this and why did you send me there. Thus so far, there has been no concrete answer. But, I believe that God has a plan for the lives of everyone and that UBF for whatever reason was part of his plan for me. Nothing happens without His knowing and consent. I am thankful to Jesus for his saving grace and for taking me out of UBF.

I do not want to unfairly criticize UBF either. I do not believe that my Bible teachers intentionally set out to manipulate and control their students. I do not think that they have evil motives. I believe they do everything with the best intentions. Many Buddhists, Hindus, Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses also have good intentions, but none of these can save someone. It is said, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Good intentions are not what is needed to found a healthy church. Being firmly rooted in Jesus and his saving power, his word, and a belief in his death for our sins and resurrection is a much better starting point. I cannot speak for others. So I will not talk about the experiences that I myself did not witness.

I started to attend UBF in the spring of 2007. I was approached by a very nice lady who asked me if I would like to study the Bible. I began talking to her about Jesus and about my walk with Him. She invited me to study the Bible with her. I agreed because I really wanted to be involved in a Bible study, I wanted to get my life on track. I was tired of a life without any real action, in terms of my spiritual well being. I believe that Jesus is the only answer to the emptiness and meaninglessness of life. I more than believe this, it’s everything to me; if it turns out to be false, there is no hope for mankind. So, I agreed to go to Bible study with her and I really enjoyed the 1 to 1 Bible study. After perhaps a month, she asked if I could come to the Sunday worship service and play guitar. So I decided to go. I told them I couldn’t commit to going every week because I already attend another church, but, I really didn’t mind serving them by playing guitar. I cannot remember the exact reason why, but I started playing guitar every week. At first I didn’t like it, because I told them I couldn’t, but eventually I realized that participating in church by serving was better than being a spectator, so I attended both churches (something they would latter reveal was unacceptable). UBF was great at first, I really felt like I was part of something and that I could contribute. I really liked the idea that they were missionaries to Canada (a nation which is apathetic, individualistic, and for the most part has rejected God). One thing I didn’t enjoy from the start, was that I was considered special. I was told that I was special on several occasions. I am no more special than anyone else, but they treated me like a first class human being, I even felt like I was treated as good as or better than their own children.

Slowly they started to ask more of me. I chose to participate because there were spiritual benefits. The more I was in God’s word, the better my overall wellbeing. At the same time, this is also when manipulation began. I got the feeling that not attending was not an option. If I missed a Sunday service (for good reason or not) or a Bible study, it was a really really big deal. This didn’t alarm me too much though at the time. One pivotal moment in my experience with UBF and one where the Holy Spirit literally comforted me was when I confessed during a group leaders meeting (since they considered me an upcoming leader) some sexual sin. They rebuked me (which was good) and made a big deal of it (which I believe it is). The problem came the next day during the Sunday worship service. The missionary began to rain fire and brimstone down on me (without mentioning my name), condemning me, explaining that people who do and think such things are garbage. How can God love such people? They are filthy. He wanted the sincere repentance of young people who do these things. I didn’t understand, wasn’t confessing and repenting exactly what I had done the night before? This went on and on for about five minutes. I was so hurt and angry that I wanted to get up and leave. At the same time I was confused... was this really what God thought of me? Was I really beyond salvation? I prayed, "God, I'm going to open my Bible, and I want you to reveal your truth to me." I opened my Bible and the very first thing my eyes fell upon were Jesus words as he died on the cross, "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do." I realized that God saw my suffering and agony. God knew my heart was sincere. Why would I confess my sin publicly if I was not disgusted with it? He wanted me to forgive the missionary. I encourage anyone who has been hurt by UBF to follow Jesus example. The people who abused you in UBF are no different than the Roman soldiers who tortured Jesus. Jesus loved those who crucified him; Jesus loves your UBF Bible teacher and desperately wants them to repent and believe in him as their saviour. I forgave him, but, I decided that I wanted to talk to him and his wife about it, because it was unacceptable and hurtful. I called a meeting, I could tell they were afraid (what was I coming to talk to them about?). But they came prepared. The missionary denied the event ever took place saying, "I don’t remember what I wrote in last week’s sermon, but I never have any individual in mind." (His English was probably not the same, as English is his second language but the meaning hasn’t changed) I was angry that he denied it but the meeting became even stranger. He decided that the best defence was a good offence and came up with a baseless charge against me. He charged, “Chris, I noticed that you are not putting any money in the offering.” He then began to explain that it was my duty (I didn’t disagree). The problem is that, I attend another Church and choose to support missions work at that Church. This is where 100% of my offerings go. I will not say how much I give because that’s between Jesus and me. I had given money to UBF, but I refused to put my name on it because I don’t want to be recognized. So, his charge was a bit insulting. He insisted that I start putting money in the UBF offering with my name on it. I boil this down to distrust; something I soon realized was a major problem in UBF. But once again I decided to forgive him for it. After that things were more or less the same at UBF for some time.

Later there was my trip to California for the 2007 West Coast Summer Bible Conference. The conference was great and I met a lot of great people. I do not want to undermine or unduly criticize the conference because overall it was pretty good. People were very kind to me and treated me like I was an ambassador from Canada. I was the only non Korean Canadian at the conference, so I got a lot of attention. Actually, the trip down there was quite the miracle, which included getting on the plane about 1 minute before it took off. However, despite the overall positive experience I had, I noticed some strange things at the conference during the group Bible study meetings. I noticed that people were pretty perfect. No flaws, no sin, since they started attending UBF and became missionaries and shepherds. Their testimonies seemed unrealistic. I remember questioning them in my mind. Is it truly possible to rid myself of sin and become perfect? It was an attractive idea but one that I knew was impossible. Several times after the conference I mentioned this to my Bible teacher. She didn’t deny that it was possible I had interpreted their testimonies that way, she even said in some cases some “sheep” may think they do not have sin. My problem with her answer was that it was the missionaries who claimed to be without sin since attending UBF. The other strange thing was that I was assigned (at least this is my belief) someone to watch over me and “guide” me during the conference. He was a really nice guy and I felt that he was my friend. He is also the one who taught me about ‘proper’ testimony writing. Although a strange practice, having a watcher, I didn’t think much of it. But, it did make me feel like they were treating me like a child. Since leaving UBF I have not heard a word from anyone in California. (I posted something on their West Coast UBF network explaining the Gospel of Jesus Christ before I left, once I realized that many of them might not know that Jesus is the only way to salvation).

After the conference, things started to become a little darker for me. Several times during the group Bible studies I would hear something I knew was wrong. Most of the time it was about something trivial, but sometimes it concerned the nature of our Salvation. Works? Or Grace? Or Both? The answer according to Ephesians chapter 2 is that GRACE ALONE is our hope. Jesus said he is the way the truth and the life, the ONLY way to the Father is through him. Once saved, works should follow because faith without deeds is dead. I would argue this point to them. But, it was never clear to me at the time what exactly they believed, only that they came across as believing in a works centred salvation. Once I was asked to pick my key verse for the year. I picked, “who so ever would come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.” Later, when feeling a bit down and depressed and tired of the constant pressure of UBF, I told them that I was tired and depressed. Their response was very manipulative and evil. They said, “Chris... didn’t you say you would deny yourself and pick up your cross?” I didn’t respond... Jesus said, “my burden is light... come all who are tired and weary.” This is VERY DIFFERENT TO UBF’s PHILOSOPHY. Jesus wasn’t talking about laziness, he was talking about rest. Rest, which is something the Bible discusses a lot, is ignored in UBF. God doesn’t want us to be tired and weary all the time. He wants us to be full of energy and life. After all, if we are supposed to burn brightly and shine on this dark world, we are going to need a source of light to share. In UBF if you are not tired and weary, you are not working hard enough. And even if you are tired and weary, not having 12 disciples means you still are not working hard enough...

At Christmas the ‘minder’ from California came up to visit. (The use of the word ‘minder’ was intended to be sarcastic because it really wasn’t all that bad.) I didn’t see much of him, but I decided to take him on a tour of Vancouver, which is a dreadful place to visit in winter... just in case you ever wanted to come here at that time. (unless you enjoy skiing or snowboarding, in which case it’s probably #1 in North America). The visit was uneventful with the exception of one small portion of our conversation. He started talking about how faithful the missionaries in Vancouver were and how God wanted me to be like “His Jesus for Canada” and that Canada was my mission field. It was implied that leaving Canada was not in God’ plan. He told me I needed to be more obedient to my Bible teachers. My response was, “I don’t trust them,” “It takes time to earn my trust and they have not earned it yet.” I regret not telling him that I AM NOT JESUS. But he may have meant something else. I am an ambassador of Christ. I carry Christ with me. I am filled with his spirit. But I am not Jesus.

While at UBF I had an amazing work of the Holy Spirit in my life that was not related to UBF at all. While at my college, I saw a group of three Korean girls. Something inside of my told me, “they are Christians” “I want you to meet them” “Go, sit down on that bench over there and they will come and talk to you about Jesus.” So, I did as the voice said. Then, one of the girls crossed the room and sat down with me. She asked me if she could practice English with me. I obliged. Then she asked me if she could tell me about Jesus. She admitted her English was not very good and asked if she could read to me from a gospel tract. I realized at that moment that the Spirit of God had literally spoken to me. As a result I met Bo Ram, a 22 year old missionary from Korea who shares the gospel, not because she feels the need to earn her salvation, but because she loves Jesus and she loves the people of Canada. Today she is one of my best friends and a gift from God. When I told my Bible teachers about this, they appeared threatened and gave me the silent treatment. They didn’t know how to respond to this, the power of God for the salvation of mankind. It’s like they were hearing something new and impossible. I should have realized at this moment that UBF was not where I belonged. The Bible says that blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is unforgivable; denying His power and denying Him access to the hearts of young people is blasphemy.

My exit from UBF was not what I had planned. After a Bible study on Luke Chapter 19, which they twisted to mean salvation comes though works; I realized that UBF believes that we are saved by doing lots and lots of good deeds. I planned on talking to them in private, like I had the first time. Hopefully, I thought I could convince them that this belief is not correct. I prayed with many people including my youth pastor, friends, and accountability partners before talking to them. I knew the Bible says that in the last days some evil minded people will worm their way into peoples’ lives and convince them that there is another way other than Jesus. The Bible says that such people are already amongst us. I know that my Bible teachers have been deceived by these people and have becomes slaves, not to righteousness or to Jesus, but to the higher ups in UBF. My hope was to convince them of this, and hopefully get them to leave with me and sever their ties with the UBF mother ship. After this we could all attend a healthy church (denomination didn’t matter to me) and everything would go on happily ever after. This didn’t happen. After the Sunday service the usual prayer and 1 to 1 discussion began. I was asked what I thought of the message. Instead of telling him what I thought of his message, I shared the gospel with the missionary. He rejected this and began trying to convince me that works are the key to our salvation. I stood up and said “NO.” I felt like I was stopping bullets with my hands and that everything was in slow motion. He continued... I said “NO,” He paused. I said, “NO.” “It is by grace we are saved.” His wife shouted at me, “REPENT.” I Shouted back, “REPENT FOR WHAT?” “REPENT FOR BELIEVING JESUS DIED FOR ME?” I opened my Bible and stumbled to find Ephesians chapter 2. I read it to them. They responded by telling me the book of James says we must earn our salvation, which is a lie and a misinterpretation. I told them that I had read some things about them on the internet, they denied all of it. I walked out and the missionary followed me saying “just one second Chris” “Chris I want to talk.” I didn’t turn around, comparing it to Lot returning to Sodom when the fire storm was beginning and after witnessing his wife turning to stone. I knew that all he wanted was more time to tell me I was a sinner and had no right to rebuke him for false teachings. After all, what do I know? By the way, I am a sinner, he is right; I am a disgusting sinner not worthy of a saviour like Jesus. But guess what? Jesus doesn’t think so; Jesus loves me so much he died on a cross for me. Jesus has a plan for my life and it is good! It may seem like a silly thing to say, but my Bible teacher literally rejected Jesus when I shared the gospel with him on that final day. Instead he continues to believe that by teaching 12 sheep he can erase his sin and earn Jesus saving grace...

Today I ask... If Jesus started to attend UBF would he be welcomed? My answer is probably not... Jesus turned water into wine (BIG NO NO IN UBF), Jesus hung out with sinners, prostitutes and tax collectors (also not acceptable in UBF), Jesus preached salvation and life, freedom from sin, repentance, and Gods love. Jesus taught his disciples to labour in love and obedience to God. UBF teaches labour in exchange for salvation and obedience to the missionaries and shepherds. Jesus message was for the whole world. UBF’s message is just for university students. Once, after telling them I bought some groceries for and shared the gospel with a homeless man, something I was very happy about, they gave me the silent treatment. Whereas when I told them about how I shared the gospel with my peers, they were overjoyed.

I received some nasty emails from him after leaving. I was told that maybe God could forgive me. Yes, the answer is Jesus death on a cross means God can forgive me. Adding the element of doubt isn’t going to work on me. I was told that I had a “weak and brittle faith” that I was a loser, washed up bum, a failure. According to them, I will become nothing. Thank God they are not the final authority on the outcome of my life. Jesus holds the pen UBF, not you, get it straight! By the way UBF, I still have those emails. This means I have evidence... Are you scared? You should be, but not of evidence, but of God who will hold all of us accountable for what we have done. God has all the evidence he needs.

I would like to highlight some other strange things I heard while attending UBF. My bible teacher told me on two occasions that she really respected Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses because of their hard working spirit, whereas their own brothers and sisters in Christ were condemned as lazy second class Christians. On a few occasions I was told to pick a church, the shepherd from California who came up to Canada at Christmas said this to me as well, they were offended by me attending another church besides theirs. On one occasion I told them about how I wanted to tutor English to make some extra money. My Bible teacher told me she thought it was a very bad idea. She thought that I would have a sexual relationship with one of my female students. She based this on past experience with another member (a sheep) of their group. Instead she insisted I work for a bank. I called her on this and told her that her worries were baseless. When I told them that I wanted to go to China to teach English, it suddenly became clear to them that this was not Gods plan for me. On one occasion it was even suggested to me that they believed my intentions were to go to China to have sexual relations. This because according to them many women would be attracted to me. The problem with this line of thinking is that, if I am actually so attractive, sexual relationships right here in Canada shouldn’t be too hard to find either. Which means, no matter where I am, temptation will always follow me. Testimony writing was also a major issue in UBF. They insisted I only study the passages of the Bible they were studying instead of my own pick-a-book-at-random-and-read-it-until-finished-strategy. The middle ground I reached with them was that I would study both, which takes twice as much time, but you cannot ever read too much of the Bible. I found that there was no freedom of expression in testimony writing. I had to write essentially the same thing as everyone else. I rebelled though, and started writing my testimony about whatever was on my heart. They eventually gave up on me and allowed me this freedom. I could tell it bothered them, but there was no Biblical premise for what they were asking me to do, something I would often remind them of. There were probably several other moments where I was completely dumbstruck by what they said or suggested, but these are the ones that stuck out the most to me.

I cannot come to a conclusion about UBF because after writing this I actually hope it’s not over. I pray that God would use me to tear down the stronghold that is UBF and in its place lift Jesus to his proper position. I will continue to pray for their salvation.

I also want to say that overall 90% of my experience with UBF was positive. One of the nicest things they did for me while I attended their Church was that while my mother was in the hospital they bought flowers and insisted on coming to visit her. Something no one in my other Canadian church ever did. They cooked a great meal every Sunday which I know is a huge financial burden. I found it so funny how they would load up my plate because they thought I was too skinny. (I don’t consider my situation as “eating training” as others have called it; I am also not denying that some may have been subjected to this). I really appreciate all the things they did for me while I attended. I really believe that they loved me. I shared many laughs with them and a lot of my time with them. I think the most hurtful thing for me, was that I knew I couldn’t remain friends with them after leaving. They have chosen their path and I have chosen mine. I have decided that Jesus is the best possible solution to my problems with sin. He is the only one who can save me at the last day.

“Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do” – Jesus

I strongly encourage anyone who has been hurt by UBF to forgive them and continue praying for them. In the same way that only Jesus can save us from our sin, only Jesus can save them. It is your responsibility to pray for them and to love them.

-Christopher Q.

----

(Posted in the discussion page of a UBF Wikipedia article, April 2008)

I agree, I have heard a few reports of "Business Missions" but was unsure of exactly what that meant. This is so Orwellian, making up these phrases, "Faith Marriage", "Business Mission", "World Mission", "Sports Training", "Bible Teacher Training", "Fishing." They imply that their interpretation of these words are Biblical. However, this may not be the case in every situation(especially "sports training"?). I dont think we can deny that "Fishing" or Evangelism (in common speach) is Biblical and is in fact our duty as believers. But in UBF "fishing" has a much more specific meaning, it means going to the local university campus and offering Bible study. Going to homeless people and telling them about Jesus is not considered "fishing." UBF doesnt have a world mission, they have a campus mission. Jesus said "go into ALL the world and make disciples of ALL nations." But I was told by UBF that my mission was in Vancouver Canada, and that if I went to China or Korea or Japan to share Gods word, I would be abandoning "World Mission". In fact they went so far as to suggest that my real desire in wanting to go overseas was to defile myself by fulfilling lustful desires with prostitutes. It is such a contradiction. I never saw any evidence of the Holy Spirit during my stay with UBF(other than from Bible study students never from missionaries). Iam not saying that UBF missionaries do not have the Holy Spirit, only that the evidence was very slim. UBF seems to think that getting more Bible study students is equal to having the Holy Spirit. However, if that were the case, then the Mormons and Jehovah's witnesses would be overflowing with the Spirit. I never had communion while in UBF(JESUS COMMANDED US TO DO IT IN REMEMBERANCE FOR WHAT HE DID FOR US). Praying in tongues was looked down upon (it is a gift from God, please read ACTS). Now they run my name through the mud. However, I am glad that I share in the sufferings of Jesus. To them I am on my way to hell, but Jesus has a plan for my life. IT IS WRITTEN, "THAT HE WHO BEGAN A GOOD WORK IN YOU WILL CARRY IT ON TO COMPLETION IN THE DAY OF CHRIST JESUS." One of their own shephards prophesied about me saying that I would share the gospel with millions. Now they take those words back, but not God, what God has spoken no one can contradict. UBF's legalistic righteousness by works will not get them very far. Abraham was justified by faith. David defeated Goliath by faith. Gideon cut down his fathers Asherah pole by faith. Paul shared the gospel with millions by faith and grace. Jesus said "the work of God is this, to believe in the one that He sent." "EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE FOR HIM WHO BELIEVES." I dont care what UBF says about me, I will do what God has asked me, by faith alone! I cannot do any work unless God enables me to do it. SO IT IS NO LONGER I WHO DO IT, but the Spirit of God working through me. I will not take credit for HIS work. I am only a willing unworthy servant, that is it. And God will use me, and anyone else who calls on his name. God asked me to rebuke UBF, I prayed and prayed about it and his words to me were, "FATHER FORGIVE THEM, FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO." UBF is so lost, they even call me, Gods unworthy servant "a follower of Satan" (they used to try and put me on a throne and said "you are sooo spiritual" "You will be a successful UBF Bible teacher.") The Pharisees called Jesus a follower of Satan also and they also called him "good teacher"(Make up your minds UBF, what am I to you?). But how can they call me a follower of Satan now? I believe in Jesus, he is my Savior "The Savior of the world." I forgive UBF church for its abuse and trying to lead me away from the plan that God has for my life. I am thankful for studying the Bible with them. But they told me that they didnt do it for me, but for themselves, they didnt teach me because they loved me, instead they taught me because they thought it would win them points with God. Since they do their works to be seen by men, they have already recieved their reward in full. "Without faith it is impossible to please God" and we know that only those who "please God" will appear in his Kingdom. That last sentence was a warning to everyone, both UBF and former UBF. If you are in UBF now, do not leave, instead pray for God's truth (unless the abuse is unbearable, in that case leave). If you are outside UBF, pray! "Pray without ceasing." PRAY PRAY PRAY AND THEN PRAY SOME MORE. Pray that God would restore UBF, that he would cleanse it of all unrighteousness, that they would know Gods grace and his true Gospel(That is "Christ and him crucified" and him risen from the dead). Pray on behalf of them if you truly love them. PRAY!

Can I hear an AMEN?

Amen

Chris and unworthy servant of Christ Jesus our Lord.

John W. (former Columbus UBF)

2009-01-19T11:56:00.000-08:00

(See also http://exubf.blogspot.com/2008/11/chris-j-former-chicago-ubf.html.)

(Testimony of John W., son of Mr. and Mrs. Stanley W., career missionaries under Wycliffe to Indian tribes of Guatemala. This testimony was given at a Cult Awareness Network Conference in Ohio, in 1986.)

My name is John W., and currently I am the supervisor of an industrial engineering firm in Newark, Ohio, for a company called Diebold. My involvement was in an organization called University Bible Fellowship. It began back in March, 1980. At that time I was 23 years of age and had been out of college with a degree in industrial engineering for two years.

My introduction was an invitation to attend an interdenominational Bible study. Certain aspects appealed in the term interdenominational for you felt you would not get indoctrinated in any one brand of Bible interpretation. Another appeal was in the term, 'University,' as I felt there might be a nice crowd of young people present.

When I attended this first Bible study. what I saw were people who were very enthusiastic, very devoted, very interested in their Bible study. That was not the normal situation I had encountered in previous Bible studies I had attended or taught. As a matter of fact, my parents were missionaries to Guatemala, and over the years I had led numerous Bible studies myself. Keeping people interested in Bible study had been something of a challenge.

When I mentioned my background, I was immediately accepted as one who already knew a lot about the Bible and questions were often referred to me so that I could give an answer. Even though I hadn't studied that particular passage, my past study enabled me to give some kind of a response.

From that point, I was definitely flattered and my background was stated as a great strength. With only six to ten people in the Bible study, the community feeling was definitely very strong. Thus my background was stressed as something that I had over the others in the group. Over the period of weeks and months that followed, this background was tapped into by the leader. Rather than my studying the Bible with one of the young student members, he chose to teach me himself--a privilege only granted to those who had been in the group for a long time or who had a strong Bible background.

Two Sundays later they asked me to speak at the evening service. Well, I obviously was pretty flattered and relished that opportunity. A few months later a new Bible study was to be established on a different night and I was to be the leader of that. So in the initial stages, I was complimented and flattered a lot because of my background.

In order to understand how people are drawn into a group like this, I want to stress that there was a lot of me that was heightened and clarified as being great and good, but in the months and years that progressed, that became less and less the theme of the relationship between the leader and myself. More and more it was emphasized how little I knew and how much my background had actually been a detriment to my really understanding the Bible.

Through the one to one Bible study, a shepherd/sheep relationship was established and s close personal relationship was developed as well. This eventuated in a dependency relationship. In the Bible study, I would answer the questions and the leader would respond. He was in a position where he could listen to what I said and add something, applaud me, or whatever. But in this position, he was the one in control. It was not like in a group situation where you can do some preparation while someone else is answering the question. I was always in the place where he was listening to me and then giving me feedback.

Through that Bible study, he was also able to learn about me. As a part of the Bible study there were questions designed for personal application and confession. These confessions for a new member were pretty general and summarized in one or two sentences. What later developed was a six to ten page written analysis of oneself in light of a particular theme that was planted in that Bible study, and a basic catharsis of anything that a person may be feeling about himself, or a revealing of oneself in great detail. In future meetings, these confessions were made public.

Now what that did for me was to create a fear that these things might be leaked out beyond the group. In the group there was understanding because we were 'all in it together'. This took away a bit of my ego, as well created a kind of unity and cohesiveness within the group itself.

One of the things that a person would note in these meetings was the outbursts of laughter at very strange points. When talking about something very humbling and very painful, people would laugh. For instance, if you were talking about being rejected by a student on campus that you were trying to recruit, that was a reason to laugh because they had shared the same experience.

This laughter tended to distort reality, for instead of feeling painful because a student ran away from your Bible study, your ability to think critically, as to why that student ran away from your Bible study, was shut down. Laughter also heightened the group unity.

Another factor in the cohesiveness of the group was the increased isolation from past associations. Involvement in the one to one study with the leader on Tuesday night, the Friday night Bible study, the Sunday night meeting, the Fellowship Meeting on Thursday night and a leadership meeting on Monday night, eventuated in a cutting off of contact with the outside world. I was too busy attending meetings or preparing my Bible studies or speaking assignments.

The leader never told me to turn my back on my family, my friends and my past life, but circumstances created the situation whereby the isolation took place. In order for a person to commit that amount of time, the approach that was used was that of guilt in decision making. When faced, for instance, with a choice between attending a Bible study or a graduation service, we were confronted with the decision as to which would be of greater benefit between the individual and God? This, in my estimation, was a use of motivation by guilt, and can be quite detrimental to oneself.

I had always been very interested in exercise and sports, but at the time I left the group, I felt winded even walking up a set of stairs. I had so concentrated on group activities and sitting for hours and hours, plus the fact that my job in engineering tends to be a little sedentary, I had put on about 30 pounds above what I am now. At any rate, that aspect of the wholeness of an individual was lost sight of. A normal thinking individual would have time for exercise or relationships with people that are not always geared toward a group goal or a spiritual goal.

There is another practice which isn't necessarily written in the teachings of the group, but which becomes very effective in strapping a person to the group. In their emphasis that one's walk with God is the full responsibility of the individual, the leadership took advantage of the individual's desire to walk close to God, and introduced what is known as 'training.'

Training is not done so much for the individual's educational development, but rather to develop faith--and faith is equated with obedience. Here, also, obedience to the shepherd is equated with obedience to God. As a leader, and to expand my role as a leader, I was willing to subject myself to training. There is a tolerance for what might seem like questionable practices in order that a person could aspire to gain a leadership role.

To give you an appreciation of what 'trainings' might involve, one instance comes readily to mind. A member in Chicago was told to carry two empty suitcases from the Chicago center all the way to the Sears Tower, which meant walking up 103 stories or flights of stairs. Now we might ask, 'What is the point of that kind of training?' It's not like sitting down and doing a Bible study. It doesn't seem to have any correlation. But the practice is that if you want to be 'trained' and grow closer to God, you listen to what your shepherd says; you don't question it; you just obey. If you don't, you're not obeying God, and you're not willing to be trained and molded into a leader.

Training also brought about a heightened unity in the group for you looked upon the group as an elite group, above others in spirituality. So the isolation, the eliteness, the total commitment to the group--because the group has the answer to how to get closer to God and to benefit society--filled the framework of the individual.

Now the contact with the outside world had been severed. If my parents, my sister or a concerned pastor were to try to penetrate my world of total commitment to the group and to its objectives, I would shut them off. 'Couldn't they understand that I was only wanting to draw closer to God? I'm on a crusade and I'm a zealot for what is right. Don't expect me to do anything other than help you to come into the group so that you can have the right answers also.'

It's a bit scary now as I look back on my situation and see how I had shut down my emotions for my family, for we had been a loving family. One of the reasons why I am still involved in education of the public in general about cults, and in particular, Bible based cults, is this 'zealot mentality for the group' which I regard as very dangerous. That zeal and concern for the group is so strong and the isolation is so complete that former members of this group have been assaulted, lies have been spread about them, and the concern for what is ethical and right and what should have been the practice of the teaching they were giving in their Bible studies are sacrificed at the expense of protecting the group and advancing the goals of the group. For society and for the individual, that is a concern of mine.

To show how committed I had become to the group, I was willing to marry a girl that I basically did not know and what I had heard of her was of a negative report. Yet I was ready to marry her at a time that would be appointed by the leader rather than at a time that she and I would choose. Some in the group were told that the next morning they were to marry so and so. They would accept this, feeling that this decision was by the direct will God through the shepherd, and they would not want to miss God's best for them.

To be willing to marry a girl I hardly knew at the direction of another shows how much I had lost touch with my own freedom to do what I would want or feel right before God myself. I had never been in a position where I felt I couldn't find a suitable partner. Dating was no problem to me, nor was I afraid that I would be single the rest of my life, and who I was to marry was not a decision that I would readily want to give up. When I first heard of the practice, in my initial stages of joining the group, I thought it to be the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard. 'To marry somebody I didn't even know? You've got to be kidding!'

In summary I would like to say that I have been out of the group for two years and my concern about this and other groups is for the freedom of the individual. They are victims! They need help. They need to be approached. when I look at myself as I was in the group, or when I look at others still in the group, I don't see people who have become better. Rather. I see negative changes and problems that developed because of their association with the group. Therefore I have a desire to do what I can to prevent people from entering into this kind of relationship; also to talk to people who are involved for the purpose of helping them evaluate where they are at.

--John W.

Chris J. (former Chicago UBF)

2008-11-19T07:51:00.000-08:00

(See also http://exubf.blogspot.com/2007/07/parent-of-u-of-chicago-recruit-1985.html and http://exubf.blogspot.com/2007/07/donna.html.)

(Original scanned copy can be found at http://exubf.info/outside_material/chrisj-former-chicago.pdf. Letter written by Chris J., ex member of UBF. Chris is the daughter of the late Dwight J., a Swedish Covenant minister. Chris was the UBF sheep of Sarah Barry at the U. of Chicago. She was, at one time, arranged to marry a Columbus UBF member named John W. Her account of her "deprogramming" does not resemble the stories told about "deprogramming" by UBF's leaders at the time, as usual.)

I came to UBF in 1979 as a senior in high school. At a time in my life when I was questioning my faith, God used the Bible study I received in UBF to confirm in me the truth of His Word and of Jesus Christ. I continued studying with Sarah Barry throughout my freshman year at North Park College in Chicago. That year I grew much as she gave me the room to learn from God's Spirit personally. I also grew to love M. Sarah and our one-to-one study very much. However, there were a few things which prevented me from becoming fully involved in UBF and from encouraging my friends to do so. I saw the pressure that was put on the students to belong exclusively to UBF and the guilt it placed on them; I was wary of the attitude I sensed in the members towards other Christian ministries; and I was disturbed by the members' attitude toward Samuel Lee. At the end of my freshman year I left UBF because of these questions. I returned the following fall, however, because I missed the one-to-one Bible study and the zeal which I felt was lacking in my church. I was relieved to have returned. Yet I still did not have peace about the attitudes that were present in UBF. Throughout that sophomore year I struggled intensely with this problem. At the same time, I began to associate Jesus with the demand for exclusive allegiance to UBF, and I became afraid of Him. In my fear I ran from Him and opened myself up to Satan, who oppressed me with insecurity and guilt. That year was hellish for me because I allowed fear to separate me from my God. But Jesus, my beautiful Good Shepherd, stood by me until I could call out to him. When I cried out to Him in the spring He answered and drew me to Himself through His Word. Jesus used that year in my life to teach me His mercy and the danger of running away from Him for any reason. That summer He showed me that He was leading my life and that I was to keep my eyes On Him alone. However, while He gave me the increased assurance of His presence with me, I was never brought to rest about the attitudes present in UBF.

The next year I transferred from North Park to the University of Chicago. I learned a lot that year about the nonChristian world, and my desire to help the people around me in Christ grew as I studied the Bible with a number of students. However, at the same time I was burdened by two things which prevented me from living in the freedom of Jesus that I taught my Bible students about. First was a gnawing term of slavery to the sins which I continually tried to overcome. Second was the burden of unrest concerning the unchecked power of Samuel Lee in UBF. This had not left me, although by now I really wished it would.

During the winter and spring of 1983, Jesus showed me the cause of my inability to overcome my sins. It was because I was not remaining in Him like a branch to the Vine, and I was not claiming the victory over my sins that He won through His death and resurrection. Through John 15, Mark 16, and Romans 1-8, Jesus began to show me what it meant to live by faith in His power and that I was to live by His Spirit, not by my own strength or by the law. That spring I experienced freedom that I had not known before. I fell in love with Jesus all over again and my only desire was to please Him. During that time, however, in my new found joy and my desire to be open to God in everything, I also began to open myself up to attitudes which were not of Him. Because it had been through UBF that God's Word came to me, I reasoned that everything that UBF did must be alright. I become ready to do almost anything that my friends in UBF felt was God's will for me. This included cutting off all contact with my family, former church members, and many other Christians, for in interpreting Hebrews 11:24-26 I identified them with my life in sin, and identified only UBF as "God's people". I began to think that in God's eyes we were somewhat more special than other Christians because we were working harder and persecuted more. I began to suspect most other Christians and felt truly comfortable only around other UBF believers, putting full confidence only in the words of Sarah Barry and Samuel Lee. As time went on, although I believed I was following Jesus in these attitudes, I was moving away from Him.

But again, Jesus is my faithful Shepherd, and He would not allow me to do this. Toward the end of my junior year in 1983 I felt as though He were preparing me for something. On the day that I came home for summer break I found out what it was. I received a phone call from a Christian friend of mine who said that the Lord had been leading him all week to call me. The last I had heard of him, he had been studying the Bible with UBF, as well as going to his own church. When he told me he had stopped studying with UBF and I asked him why, he proceeded to tell me of God's work in his life which led him to make this decision. As he spoke of Jesus' work I began to sense Jesus' presence very strongly in our conversation, both confirming the words he spoke and also commanding me to pay close attention to what he was about to say. The phrase, "The strong hand of the Lord upon me" (Ezek. 3:14b) became a reality to me, for the Lord's Spirit surrounded me in peace, love and power. By the middle of our conversation I knew that Jesus had sent this servant to speak His words to me, and that I was to listen closely.

God had worked in this brother powerfully throughout 1982 through a personal study of His Word, bringing him into a new understanding of Jesus and the Person and work of His Spirit. In the fall of that year he began studying with UBF while continuing in his personal study and going to his church. While he liked the one-to-one study, at the same time there began growing in his spirit a sense of danger about what was going on in UBF as a whole. As this sense grew he cried out to God to know whether it was just his own feelings and fears or whether it was the Spirit warning him about something. In November, Jesus brought him to a complete surrender to His Spirit and He then slowly gave him the discernment he had prayed for. He allowed Jesus' Spirit to shepherd him daily, and as he did the Lord made it evident to him that the sense of danger which he had was not just his feelings, but the Holy Spirit's warning. He saw that Jesus' power to shepherd his people directly was not fully being acknowledged, and as a result the relationship which Jesus meant to have with His people -- their complete Shepherd through His Spirit -- was wrongly being held by the leaders In UBF. Through a study of Moses' call in Exodus, which included with it several times of 'being drawn out alone' with God to be taught by Him, the Lord called this brother to leave UBF and go on to the ministry He would have for him. Because UBF had persistently remained in her error, he was not to lead anyone back into UBF the way it stood. He obeyed and left, and that year the Lord used him powerfully in the lives of a number of people as he followed the leading of the Spirit.

Throughout the conversation I tried to justify all of UBF's practices both to the brother and to myself. I had heard all these words many times before, both from myself and other people, and had learned to pass them off as being human words from people who did not understand Samuel Lee or what went on in UBF. But this time the message came with a power and a conviction that was not of man, but of God. I struggled against the Spirit's conviction at length, but when I could no longer do this I fell at Jesus' feet and prayed, "Lord Jesus, help me! If what he is saying is from you, let me know, and give me the courage to obey you. If not, then protect my mind and heart from doubt. Just help me to obey you." As I kept my eyes on Jesus He filled me with His peace and also confirmed to me through His Spirit that what my friend said was from Him. That night after we had hung up the Lord spoke to me powerfully through Ezekiel chapters 1-3. I saw the absolute unity between the living creatures and the spirit that led them. As I read this passage God's Spirit overshadowed me with the holiness and love of God. With trembling I knew that the Lord was calling me into the same kind of oneness with His Spirit that the living creatures had with the spirit that led them (1:12, 19-21). In the passages that follow Ezekiel is called to speak God's Words to His people. However, they would not listen to him (2:4,7). Nonetheless, he was to speak the words God gave him (2:5,7-3:3). He was not to be afraid of them, no matter what they said or did to him, for God would make him as strong as they were (3:8-11). God's holiness and power had never been made so clear to me. I could sense in Him the tremendous love that He had for the people in UBF, and yet also a righteous hatred of sin. I could see that He wanted us to know we were sinning against Him in many of our attitudes and practices. He did not show the favoritism between His children that we thought He did; and He did not look with favor on the overuse of authority practiced by our leaders and ourselves. He wanted our relationships and the relationships of our sheep with Himself to be pure, mediated only by Jesus and His Spirit, not by other men. Like Ezekiel I was to open my heart to the Words His Spirit would give me, and as He opened up the way, I was to speak to Sarah Barry about what I had been told by this brother. I was simply to do this and to follow whatever His leading would be after that. The words of 3:20,21 were a warning to me, "…when a righteous man turns from his righteousness and does evil, and I put a stumbling block before him, he will die. Since you did not warn him, he will die for his sin. The righteous things he did will not be remembered, and I will hold you accountable for his blood, But if you do warn the righteous man not to sin and he does not sin, he will surely live because he took warning, and you will have saved yourself."

As I kept my eyes on Jesus He gave me strength to accept His Words, and His Spirit enveloped me in peace. But soon I took my eyes off Him end became afraid that He would lead me out of UBF if Sarah Barry did not pay attention to what I would say. I then fell into doubt and fear and thought, "How can I do this? Sarah Barry and Sarah B. will be so hurt. They've heard all of this from me before; they'll just think it's from myself again. Can this really be from God?' He led me into UBF. Now He can't be leading me away!" I made the mistake of placing my security and life's direction in the ministry I was in rather than in God Himself and Jesus my risen Lord. Because of this sin I fought with God for two weeks. But His Spirit never left me alone. He haunted me day and night with His call and with Proverbs 3:5,6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths." Despite His patience I let His Words drop to the ground. Finally I asked Him for proof that things in UBF were really as displeasing to Him as the brother had testified to, and that Sunday through His servant at my parents' church He gave it to me. In 1 Cor. 1 and 2 He showed me how displeasing it is for us to take pride in men rather than in Jesus alone, because it causes us to think like children and to divide off from other believers. I knew He was speaking directly to me concerning UBF. But as soon as I got into the UBF environment I shut my ears to His Words. Finally, when I could not stand the Spirit's haunting any longer I agreed to talk to Sarah Barry.

On the night that I was to talk to her, Jesus strengthened me through Genesis 22:8. In a very real way I was being called to offer up my Isaac, for I had grown to love Sarah Barry and UBF more than even my own family. However, the Lord's Word to me was "love the Lord more that the people you love, and He will provide.'' I was to keep my eyes on Jesus, and His Spirit would give me the words I was to say. His grace end peace surrounded me again when I looked to Him. However, I did not make a clear decision to keep my eyes on Him, and as a result, when I saw M. Sarah Barry, I watered down the message that the Lord had waited to give through me. I told her the brother's testimony apologetically, but asked her to seriously pray with me about why the Lord had led him away.

After I told her his testimony, she did not take seriously his reason for leaving. She seemed determined tied to defend UBF and Samuel Lee and unable to believe that God could have led someone away from UBF because there was something wrong in our ministry. Rather, she called into question the brother's real motives for leaving, stating that there was probably something that he did not want to give up which he knew he would have to if he remained in UBF.

Later that night I was rebuked by my Bible teacher for having hurt Sarah Barry by what I had said. After that night a battle began in my heart which lasted until the end of 1983. I knew that the call really had been from the Lord. Yet because I did not want to be rebuked again or try to go against the strong current of UBF's tide, I tried hard to deny that the phone call in June had ever taken place. I tried to convince myself that it was only my friend's human concern for me, and that Satan had used this call to plant doubt in me to slow me down in my mission. To combat this doubt I tried to take part in UBF's activities all the more vigorously, putting all my strength into conference preparations, etc.. I tried to put up a spiritual front around my sheep and other people in UBF. Yet the reality was that I was running away from Jesus' Spirit, and my spirit was dying. Sogams became increasingly harder to write, because in order to honestly accept God's Word I would have to repent and do what Jesus had called me to do: to clearly stand before M. Sarah Barry and state that UBF was sinning before Cod. Thus sogams became 'form sogams', written more in the exact pattern of the manuscripts, which may have pleased some others, but did not please God, as the sincere sogams of the spring before had. Periodically, I revealed to Sarah Barry or my Bible teacher what was bothering me. On those occasions my Bible teacher suggested that if I still had such problems with Samuel Lee, why didn't I go to another church? I couldn't accept the possibility of God calling me away from UBF, so I clung to the fact that God had led me to UBF over two years earlier and insisted, "No! God has called me here." By the end of 1983 my heart had become so wounded by my disobedience, doubt, fear and confusion that I experienced again what death it was to have cut myself off from God. After being raised up so high the spring before, this fall was harder and the hell I experienced again was deeper than anything I had ever been though in my lifetime. I again cried out for God's mercy, vowing never to allow myself to run so far from Jesus again. I made a decision to write sogams on Luke every week and to accept whatever point the Holy Spirit would give me from each passage. I also decided to talk to at least one person a day about Jesus and invite them to study the Bible in order to force myself to follow the Spirit's leading. I still was not ready to accept Jesus' call of the summer before, but I was stepping in the right direction.

My amazing and merciful God honored even this half obedient prayer and as I accepted His Word from His Spirit, He slowly restored my relationship with Him and my ministry. As I looked to the Holy Spirit for wisdom in teaching my Bible students, He gave it to me. Many of you in Chicago witnessed the fruit that was born in both their lives and mine.

Eventually, as I grew stronger, Jesus in his mercy again began showing me where my obedience to some of UBF's standards was causing me to look away from Him and His Word. This occurred first in the spring, when He made it clear to me that He wanted me to attend the graduation of my second brother, who had been questioning in his faith for a while. I was to go to encourage him in Jesus' love and speak the words the Holy Spirit would give me. However, to do so I would have to miss a Sunday worship service, which was virtually unthinkable for a shepherdess. As I prayed about the decision, Jesus spoke to me that morning through His Word. Through Mark 2:23-3:6 (which is Jesus' defense of His disciples' actions on the Sabbath and His healing of the man with a shriveled hand), He showed me that He was to be the Lord of my Sabbath, not the Sunday worship service. If He was calling me to see my brother in His Name in order to contribute to the saving of my brother's life, I was to go. However, rather than going through the struggle with my Bible teacher in trying to explain my reason for missing Sunday's service, I disobeyed the Spirit's leading and stayed home. My decision was seen as a spiritual one by those in UBF who knew about it, but in reality I had ignored the Holy Spirit's voice in order to submit to our UBF tradition of absolute attendance to the UBF Sunday worship service.

The second major case like this, when the strong pressure of UBF's traditions influenced me to disobey Jesus, came in the late summer. The previous November Samuel Lee had told me to pray about marriage with John W. from Columbus. In January of 1984 I told Samuel Lee that if it was the Lord's will, I would marry him. As I continued to pray about it throughout that year, however, I received no confirmation from God that this was His will. In fact, His Spirit seemed to put a sense of danger in my heart toward this arrangement. I wondered if this were only my feelings, or if I was placing expectations on John that he could not live up to. So I let go of all expectations that I had on him and decided to accept him without condition. When he came to Chicago in July for message preparation I began to like him. Despite all of this, however, the unrest in my spirit only grew. That week, through Genesis 21, God spoke to me concerning him. He forewarned me not to give my heart to the blessing which seemed good humanly but was not the blessing of His choosing. He gave me a sense that He was going to bring about a change in the marriage plans. I was to wait and see what He would do. In my desire to make some sense out of M. Samuel Lee's strong position in this arrangement, I grabbed on to the words in Genesis 21:12, "Listen to whatever Sarah tells you", applying "Sarah" to M. Samuel Lee, and I decided to watch closely to Samuel Lee's direction. Now, however, as I have since been learning how to discern and follow the Holy Spirit's leading, I have come to see that the spirit which led me to make that comparison was different than that of God.

A few weeks later, when John started talking about coming to my graduation, I cried out to the Lord because of my unrest, and He gave me the assurance that He had heard my cry and would do something about my situation. A few days later my Bible teacher made a deadline of that night for me to make a decision one way or the other concerning my engagement. I realized that if I had such severe unrest about it, it could not be God's will, and I should not let the engagement go on any farther. When I decided this, it was as if a veil which separated me from Jesus was lifted. It was more than just a burden lifted from me, but it was an overwhelming sense of His presence with me and a deep conviction of the truth of His gospel. I realized that this was the change in plans that He had given me a sense about. I knew that I had made the right decision before God.

That night, however, after I had told my Bible teacher of my decision, Sarah Barry, and then she, called me to persuade me to reconsider my decision. In the eyes of them both I was failing the test of faith and letting go of God's blessing. My Bible teacher emphasized obedience to Samuel Lee as showing my obedience to God. In my heart I knew that I was obeying God in my present decision. However, in my tiredness I took my eyes off of Jesus and again put them on the people around me. As I looked back at the passage in Genesis 21 without my spiritual eyes focused straight ahead on Jesus, I became scared that I had not completely followed through in watching for Samuel Lee's direction. Before I knew it, I had allowed myself to be talked into changing my decision back to the original one, not giving myself time to pray about it.

From that time on, the veil separating me from Jesus, which had been removed earlier that evening, was replaced by a thicker one. My soul could see no light from God before me, and my spirit felt lost and frightened. This decision was a very significant one for me; in it I had finally fully committed myself to UBF for life and submitted to Samuel Lee's authority in my life. But while I felt 'obedient', it was obedience to the wrong spirit. True obedience to God, although it may be hard, brings peace and confidence, for "the fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever" (Isaiah 32:16b). The kind of obedience I was experiencing brought only unrest, confusion, darkness and fear.

Strangely, this 'obedience' also brought with it the shut down of all compassion or understanding from my heart. The only thing I thought I should be concerned with was clarity, and so it was much easier to rebuke people without thinking or caring about them, and to do it with a feeling of authority. Tolerance for people who left UBF fled me and I began to despise them. I also began to despise other Christians who did not seem to have a 'specific mission' like mine. My heart grew stone cold, and I became like a machine.

While all of this was happening to me, I tried over and over to convince myself that I was in God's will, and that the spiritual blackness I was experiencing was just my feelings. However, I knew in my heart that this was not true. The truth was that the Lord had hidden His face from me to bring me to repentance, and like the Psalmist, I 'was totally dismayed (Ps. 30:7) Finally I cried out to God that if my misery was because I was disobeying His will in my engagement to John W., He would do something big to make it evident to all involved that it was not His will that we marry.

About five days later John was discovered missing. We later found out that he was being 'deprogrammed'. I was sad and worried for him, but I was also thankful because God had answered my prayer. He was getting me out of what I could not get myself out of. This was the reason why I baffled everyone by being so strong while John was missing.

After that, even though I was relieved, I still was not at rest with God because I had not repented of listening to my Bible teacher above the Holy Spirit. I did not because in doing so I would be acknowledging that unconditional submission to my leaders was not always the Lord's will for me and that in the future I would have to discern between the Spirit's leading and man's. The number of times that I had mentioned to M. Sarah Barry that I had not been in God's will she insisted that I should have no regrets about my decision to marry John. In her eyes I had fulfilled obedience to God's servant and thus had no more responsibility before God. She did not seem to take into consideration the fact that we are each responsible to seek out and obey God's will personally. The Israelites were not excused for disobeying God because they had followed their leaders' guidance (Isaiah 9:16,17). In my fear to disagree with M. Sarah I remained in my sin.

In His faithful love, Jesus would not leave me alone until I had fully repented, and He haunted me with my sin. At the same time He began showing me the direction in which we were leading our Bible students at U. of C.. We were slowly leading them to depend on us and our ministry rather than on Jesus alone. We had a fixed system of leadership training through which we were already starting to put a few of them, and if they could not conform to it they were subtly being made to feel guilty through our pressure. I was extremely disturbed over this because I did not believe that this pressure was from Jesus.

Personally, I also began to feel a bondage in my mind and soul which was not from Jesus, As I 'rose in rank', coworking with Mary Petti in heading the. U. of C. ministry, my dependence on Sarah Barry, on my Bible teacher, and on M. Samuel Lee also grew. Now, instead of looking to the Holy Spirit for words during my Bible studies, I was getting them from my Bible teacher. I became afraid to search the Holy Spirit's leading for myself because of the number of times that it had been different from hers. As a leader I also knew that my life and ministry were being watched by M. Samuel Lee and I found myself living before him more and more. His and Sarah Barry's opinions became the standard by which I judged whether something was spiritual or not; if they approved of it, I regarded it as spiritual, even if it went against the Word of God. If they did not regard it as spiritual, it was not. In nearly every area of my life they had become my standard, for I thought about their lives as much as and more than I thought about Jesus' life.

By the beginning of December, my spirit was almost completely suffocated because my relationship with Jesus was being mediated by men. The life commitment I had made to the UBF ministry did not bring a true commitment to Jesus and the Life found only in him, but a death to my spirit and a bondage to an organization and to a man. And I was leading my sheep into this same bondage. I began to see that this was not from the Spirit of the Lord. I had been afraid of knowing God's Spirit in his fullness because it reminded me of the brother's phone call in 1983. I had also been afraid of being drawn out alone with God, like Moses, for the same reason. But now I longed to be ruled by Jesus' Spirit, without the mediation of another person. So I cried out to the Lord to lead me into the desert, speak to me personally and let me be ruled by Him alone. I vowed to spend three days alone with Him and His Word after the Christmas worship service in order to choose a key verse for 1985. And this time, I decided, I would listen to whatever He was to tell me.

After the Christmas activities I kept this vow, and the Lord was completely faithful to help me. During my time alone with Him His Spirit taught me powerfully from His Word. The first thing I needed to do was to repent of looking at others rather than at Him. In the study of Jesus' genealogy, the message had talked about David, who, though he was a king, knew that he was not right with God. In David, Jesus showed me myself, and finally I repented of having listened to my Bible teacher above the Holy Spirit. For the first time, since that evening in the summer the veil separating me from Jesus was removed, and His peace enveloped me.

The next thing the Holy Spirit taught me was from Mark 7:8-13. This passage is Jesus' reply to the Pharisees who were judging the disciples according to their man made traditions rather than God's Word. He said, 'You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to the traditions of men. ... You have a fine way of setting aside the commands of God in order to observe your own traditions! For Moses said, 'Honor your father and mother,' and, 'Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.' But you say that if a man says to his father or mother 'Whatever help you might otherwise have received from me is Corban' (that is, a gift devoted to God), then you no longer let him do anything for his father or mother. Thus you nullify the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And you do many things like that." As I studied this passage the Holy Spirit showed me that I, as well as most of us in UBF, were committing this same sin: we were letting go of the commands of God for the sake of our traditions. The Word of God says, "'Honor your father and mother' - which is the first commandment with a promise - 'that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth'." (Ephesians 6:2,3), and, "Children obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord." (Colossians 3:20) His Word teaches that a disobedient or insolent attitude toward ones' parents is very displeasing to God (Lev. 20.9, Prov. 50:l7, Romans 1:30, 2 Timothy 3:2). Yet because of our 'absolute attitude' toward our traditions we were constantly pushing students to blatantly disobey their parents, even Christian parents, in order to attend our meetings, our practices, and our conferences. Thus we were reinforcing in them over and over again a disobedient spirit toward their parents. The Word of God says of believers who have widowed mothers, especially Christian widowed mothers, that "these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God .... If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." (I Tim. 5:4,8; see also James 1:27) Yet because of our tradition that a servant of God in UBF must leave all family matters behind and serve God exclusively 'through one-to-one Bible study', many students were prevented from obeying this Word. Thus the gospel of Jesus was defamed in the eye of those family members on account of our traditions.

We based our actions in these matters on Abraham's and the disciples' calls to leave their families in order to follow God. But while we are called to leave the worldly attitudes and actions of our past lives behind to follow Jesus, it is not always true that we are called physically to leave our families behind. There are other cases in God's Word when following Jesus meant taking care of one's family (1 Tim. 5:4-8) or being with them to tell of God's grace in one's life (Mark 5:18-20, Luke 8:58,39), and we in UBF were completely ignoring these. We had made following Jesus synonymous to taking part in UBF activities, rather than daily living in obedience to His Spirit and word. Thus we were making students' relationships with us equivalent to their relationships with God. I began to realize in how many ways I had made following our traditions synonymous with following Jesus in my life and in the lives of my sheep. I began to repent of this attitude and prayed for God to show me other ways in which I was putting our tradition above His Word.

As I looked for my key verse He answered this prayer. I had thought of choosing I Cor. 4:2, and so I studied I Cor. 1-4 to get the context of this verse. As I did this I saw the attitude which Paul had toward himself and other servants of Jesus. The Corinthians had begun taking pride in the servants that led them to Christ rather than in Christ alone and they had begun to boast about which servant they followed. As a result, this caused divisions in the church. Rather than letting them continue in it, Paul spent the first four chapters of this letter rebuking them for their proud and divisive attitude and explaining to them why it was wrong. In chapter 3 Paul describes the people of God as a field or a building, and all of God's servants as fellow workers on the same project, each one having a different, but equally important function. God had used Paul to plant the seed in the Corinthians and Apollos to water it. The emphasis, however, was never to be on them, for "neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who makes things grow" (3:7). In chapter 4 he shows the way for the Corinthians to guard against this divisive spirit. He says in verse 6, "Now, brothers, I have applied these things to myself and Apollos for your benefit, so that you may learn from us the meaning of the saying, "Do not go beyond what is written. Then you will not take pride in one man over against another." It was hard for me to look at these passages honestly because in their light I saw that our ministry had strayed from the truth. First of all we, like the Corinthians, were putting so much emphasis on the servants who had led us to Christ that they had become just as important to us as Jesus. Although we taught that God was the only one who could make things grow, we did not fully encourage the attitude that "neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything" because to do so would put our leaders on the same level as all other Christians. Because of our desire to be the spiritual elite of this nation and the desire for our sheep to remain with us and eventually serve in UBF, we kept ourselves, as well as our sheep, from fully accepting this attitude.

Second, I painfully realized that we were going way "beyond what is written" in our method of sogam and message training. We were giving students M. Samuel Lee's messages, telling them to closely base all of their sogams on them, and in many cases to memorize them. If they did not do this, our attitude toward them was that they did not have a learning mind. After a period of time in UBF, just to relieve the pressure put on them by us, students began trusting Samuel Lee's interpretations above all others. Eventually, they felt that they could not properly interpret the Word of God without the assistance of the manuscripts. Thus, we made them as dependent on Samuel Lee's interpretations as they were on the Word of God, and as dependent on Samuel Lee for interpretation as they should be only on the Holy Spirit.

This severe dependence on Samuel Lee was also causing a great division between those of us in UBF and the rest of Jesus' Body. We were taking pride In Samuel Lee's wisdom and his shepherd's heart to such an extent that we looked down on many other servants who did not seem to have his qualities. Therefore we had no qualms about drawing people away from their own churches and subtly pressuring them to commit themselves exclusively to UBF. We had no sense of coworking with the rest of Jesus's Church to build God's Building. Instead, we were building our own monument of '56l fulltime American shepherds' to God, and how the things we did or the way we did them affected the rest of Jesus' people made no difference to us. As I realized these things the Holy Spirit cut my heart as with a knife, for his truth was circumcising sins which were deeply ingrained in me. I cried out and prayed for Jesus to help me to obey Him.

Later that same day, New Years Eve, God spoke to me again through the Book of Galatians while I was making a tape of this book for a friend. When I got to the third chapter, the Holy Spirit once more began circumcising my heart, particularly through verses 1-3: "You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? Before your very ages Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified. I would like to learn just one thing from you. Did you receive the Spirit by observing the law, or by believing what you heard? Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?" As God's Spirit worked in me, I saw that we were doing exactly what Paul rebuked the Galatians for doing, we had started out with the Spirit, but we had turned to depending on human effort to sustain and increase our faith. The Galatians had turned to circumcision; we had turned to human forms of 'training' Teaching and training in the ways of God by older Christians is both good and necessary for young believers. However, our overemphasis on the training given by us and our shepherds was working against what we wanted to accomplish through them, for they led us to constantly focus in on our weaknesses, rather than on Jesus, who is the only one who can do any real changing in us. Therefore, instead of freeing us from our sins through Jesus' Spirit, our trainings in many cases became like laws which bound us to our sins.

As I tried to justify our emphasis on training to God in my mind, Jesus convicted me strongly with the words of Galatians 5:1-4, "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves he burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Mark my words! I, Paul, tell you that if you let yourselves be circumcised, Christ will be of no value to you at all .... You who are trying to be justified by law have been alienated from Christ, you have fallen away from grace." In these words God showed me why my inner person had been in such chaos that entire fall; I had been alienated from Jesus and had fallen away from His grace. I was not being ruled by His Spirit, but by meetings, trainings, activities and the opinions of other people; and this to such an extent that I had no ears to hear what Jesus had for me to do each day. In my mind the will of God for me had been portrayed as being a UBF one-to-one Bible teacher, which included, along with feeding sheep, being absolutely faithful to all the meetings, never choosing to be with non-UBF members over being at a prayer meeting or group Bible study, and never missing a Sunday service. But I had become so run by these man-made schedules and our fixed conception of what it meant to follow God's will, that when the Holy Spirit had tried to lead me otherwise, I brushed His voice away as being 'my feelings detering me from my mission'. As the Spirit now continued to cut through my sin I saw how deaf I really had become to Him. I made a decision that afternoon to be ruled by Jesus' Spirit only, despite what my peers in UBF might say. I also repented of my wrong attitude toward M. Samuel Lee, acknowledging that his manuscripts must be viewed with the same attitude that I viewed other commentaries on the Bible. I decided to stick closely to the Bible itself.

That evening I went to a Monday night leaders meeting. for the first time in a year and a half I was not holding the people around me back from God. The peace and presence of the Lord's love in me was overwhelming. As I allowed Jesus' Spirit to take more control of me, I began seeing through new eyes; and what I saw that night disturbed me. As the intern shepherds expounded (in speaking on Jesus' birth in Luke 2:1-14) on the misery of man being ruled by other men and the joy that only comes through being ruled by Jesus, my spirit soared with the truth of these words. Yet as I looked around me, I saw that this exact thing was happening in our midst, and we were totally unaware of it. We claimed to have the freedom of Jesus, but we were living under oppression; oppressed by our sins and oppressed by the spirit of another man, M. Samuel Lee. We feared him and lived before him. Our eyes were on him, not on Jesus. As a result we did not have the power we should have had to overcome our sins, and we were remaining oppressed by them.

I prayed to the Lord to know whether what I was seeing was from Him or from myself, and as I did, two passages which I had read years before suddenly became very clear in my mind. These were Acts l8:24-26 and Acts I9:1-7. I remembered Apollos and the disciples of John, both of whom had known only of John's baptism of repentance. In ApoIlos' case he knew the Scriptures and could teach many things about Jesus that were accurate. However, there was a very important part of the gospel that both he and John's disciples needed to know: the fulfillment of John's baptism, which is life through Jesus' Spirit, whom He sent to give the believers the power they needed to overcome their sins and to serve Him as He wanted them to.

We had not talked very much about the Holy Spirit in UBF, except periodically in prayers or when He happened to come up in the passages we studied. But now, as Jesus opened my eyes to the purpose and importance of His Spirit, the whole New Testament opened up to me in a new way. I realized that the Word of God gives a much more important position to the Spirit than we were giving Him. It was after receiving the Spirit's power that the disciples were changed into bold witnesses of Jesus, not simply after their meeting of the risen Christ, as we had so often taught. And from the time of Acts 2 onward everything the apostles and other believers did was guided directly by His Spirit. It was this power that counseled them, that trained them, that guided each step of their lives, that instilled in them a passion to preach the gospel, and that united them with all other believers. Jesus did all of these things directly through His Spirit; He did not need the mediation of another person to do them. While he used many servants to lead His people, they never held the same position as the Holy Spirit in their lives. I realized that we were not fully acknowledging the power of God's Spirit to train His sheep completely and directly. And consequently, in our desire to 'raise them up' according to our ambitions for them, we were usurping the Spirit's role in their lives. We had begun like Apollos and John's disciples, but we had remained in this state for twenty years, building a ministry on an incomplete gospel. And because we had closed ourselves off from the counsel of other Christians, when God had sent them to us to correct us, we had stubbornly refused to listen.

That night, I realized that all of this is what Jesus had been trying to tell me for a year and a half. I was ashamed of my disobedience and prayed that He would somehow use me to help bring His people in UBF back to direct shepherding by His Spirit and to restored fellowship with the rest of His people. In order to do this I knew that I would need to learn how to follow His Spirit very closely above all other influences around me.

As the week went on I found out how hard this was to do in the UBF environment, because the emphasis on unquestioning obedience to the leadership was so strong and any thought which ran contrary to the UBF way of thinking was quickly eliminated by peer pressure. I knew from past experience that If I told my Bible teachers what I was learning from Jesus, they would most likely try to discredit it as being 'old Christian' reactions to the Word of God. I was still very influenced by them, and I knew it, so I said nothing.

As the week progressed God's Spirit continued to fill me with more and more of Jesus' love and power, and to draw my mind into His way thinking. It scared me a little and I resisted at points because it was drawing me away from a likeness of mind with other UBF members. But Jesus' love compelled me forward. Through the announcement of Jesus' birth to Mary in Luke 1 that week, he renewed the calling He had given me a year and a half before, to help the people in UBF see what Satan was doing among them. Later that week, on Thursday night, as I was struggling with His call and slipping into doubts as to whether it was from Him, He again spoke to me powerfully through Psalm 32, "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you, Many are the woes of the wicked, but the Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him." (Ps. 32:8-10)

The next morning, through Psalm 146, Jesus touched one of my deepest problems, my dependence on my Bible teachers, and my fear to disagree with M. Samuel Lee. Verses 3-5 say, "Do not put your trust in princes, in mortal men, who cannot save. When their spirit departs, they return to the ground; on that very day their plans come to nothing. Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord his God." I had always applied these verses to people such as my parents or a future husband, but had never allowed my self to fully apply them to Samuel Lee. Now I knew that God was calling me to do this. I repented of putting Samuel Lee and my other leaders on a level equal with Jesus.

That night I went to a Friday leaders meeting, and I could see even more clearly how far from Jesus' Spirit we had become. While we seemed to rejoice in Jesus' love, at the same time we continually praised the greatness of UBF and acted as if we were the only ones in Jesus Church truly obeying His call. We had cut ourselves off from the Body, like the eye saying to the hand, "I don't need you!" (1 Cor. 12: 21). While we said that our service was to Jesus, this once-pure service to Jesus was now being spiritually prostituted to a god named UBF. We actually reveled in this sin, and we were drawing young believers to do the same. That night it became evident to me that something was desperately wrong, and that we had been shutting our eyes to it for a long time. As a result, our sin had been silently eating away at the purity of Jesus' gospel in our midst. In the horror of what I saw, I didn't know what to do except to pray. I realized that we needed help from Jesus and the rest of His people.

The next day was a strange day for me. I had an indescribable peace and joy because of the presence of Jesus' Spirit in me, but at the same time I was disturbed at the things He was showing me. I felt as if He were leading me into something that I did not understand. That night, after music practice, my parents took me to see some Christian counselors, whom some people call "deprogrammers", although they themselves do not like to be called that. It was through this that the Lord 'drew me out into the desert' to be alone with Him, just as I had prayed. At first I was very angry with my parents, feeling that they had given in to the "deprogramming scare". But the more I prayed about it the more I saw that God had led this counseling and had been preparing me for it for two weeks. I was assured by His Spirit that the men who were to speak to me were His servants, and I was to pay close attention to the Words of God that we were to study in depth over the next several days. As I did I saw that Jesus is serious about many more things which we had consistently ignored in UBF. These include our relationship to the rest of His Body, the superiority of His new covenant over the old covenant, and what is required of a man or woman who wants to be a leader or a teacher. Whenever anyone before had tried to bring up these areas, I had brushed their words off as being irrelevant and I judged them as being 'old Christians'. But after the two weeks of the Lord's teaching I had been through before the counseling, I realized that Jesus had given these guidelines in His Word for a reason, and we were to obey them. By ignoring these areas of God's Word UBF had given Satan a foothold. And by continually ignoring the servants God had sent over many years to correct her, Satan's foothold had grown even stronger.

I had known since before the counseling that God was changing my relationship with UBF. In continuing to serve in her as if there was nothing wrong, I had been sharing in UBF's sins with her. I knew that I could not do this any more. After many days of prayer I made a very painful decision to leave UBF. When I called M. Sarah Barry a week after the counseling had ended I did not tell her that I was leaving UBF because I wanted to do this soon afterward in person, explaining in detail God's call to me in 1983 and His work since then. However, during our conversation the Lord showed me how deeply influenced I was by her, for just hearing M. Sarah's voice almost made me forget everything that He had taught me. I realized then that before I could talk to her at length again I would need ample time to grow strong in Jesus‘ Spirit so that I would not be drawn into UBF's influence above what His Word had shown me. For this reason I wrote only a letter to M. Sarah explaining that because of some powerful working of God in my life I could no longer serve Jesus from within UBF in good conscience. I promised that later, as the Lord led, I would explain to her in detail what this work had been.

After that I began working on this testimony. For the first two and a half months, before writing, I concentrated on prayer and studying God's Word so that I could get my guidance from Him rather than writing down my own ideas. During that time Jesus made it very evident to me that I needed a lot of healing and growth before I could say what needed to be said clearly. This is the reason it took me so long to complete this testimony.

In September of l985 I finished the testimony in the form of a letter to M. Sarah Barry. I had asked my pastor to be present with me to discuss the content of the letter with M. Sarah. I did this because of the Lord's command that "every matter must be established by two or three witnesses" (Deut 19:15), and also Jesus' command that after we have gone to a brother once alone and are not listened to, we should bring one or two witnesses (Matt. 18:15-17). I had gone to M. Sarah in 1983, and I knew that others from among Jesus' people had gone to her concerning the same matters and had not been listened to. Therefore I felt it was important to have a Christian witness present, and one whose intent was not to condemn M. Sarah but to seek the truth in Christ. This was the intent of my pastor. We both agreed that M. Sarah and he should have a chance to get to know each other first so that she would not feel uncomfortable or threatened in his presence. Early in October they met and talked, and M. Sarah agreed to meet with both of us. On the day after they had met, however, M. Sarah called and cancelled the agreement due to my not having shown up to sing on the Sunday that I went to see the counselors and because I "caused trouble" in UBF’s having to pay for the towing of Mary Petti's car. (We could not see the biblical basis or the reasoning behind this cancellation, for I could in no way have changed my situation at the time.) After much prayer for guidance after this cancellation, I have decided to send this testimony to you, for I feel it is important that each of you know why I left UBF.

Since I have left Jesus has been showing me what it means to submit to Him out of love, rather than fear of condemnation. He has been teaching me to follow the leading of His Spirit to help those who He sends to me. He has also been teaching me how to love and work together with others of His Body in humility. He is working powerfully throughout His Church these days, and I thank Him for the privilege of serving in Her. I praise Him for His mercy, and for His faithfulness. He is working to uphold David's kingdom with justice and righteoushess (Isaiah 9:7) May His Name be forever praised!

The defense that many UBF members have used for not taking seriously what other Christians have had to say concerning UBF's practices is the fact that Jesus has blessed UBF and therefore it cannot come under condemnation from others. The attitude among the leaders seems to be that if there is a problem within UBF, the only way God will solve it is to reveal it to Samuel Lee so that Samuel Lee will solve it. They do not seem to think it necessary for M. Samuel Lee to be accountable to other Christians for his actions. However, in my understanding this contradicts much of the Bible. As I read the New Testament I do not come across any servant of God who was above the correction of his fellow Christians. Jesus used all parts of the Church to correct each others' sins; He had to, because the people from within the same groups were often blind to the same sins. When Peter was in the wrong in Antioch, Paul rebuked him, not another Jewish Christian from Jerusalem, for it was the wrong attitude of many of the Jerusalem Christians that had influenced Peter to sin in the first place. (Gal. 2:11-21) Similarly, Paul did not consider himself above the counsel of the Jerusalem apostles and elders, nor did he consider his Gentile churches to be, even though the Jerusalem believers were not directly involved in their ministry. He submitted the to elders' direction to take part in the purification rites of some Jewish believers for the sake of keeping peace among the Household of God. (Acts 21:17-26) The Gentile Churches also obeyed the letter of counsel given to them from the elders in Jerusalem, even though they seemed to have had nothing directly to do with their own conversion. (Act 16:4,5)

I do not know how many servants the Lord has sent to UBF to correct the points brought up in this letter, but I suspect that over the last 10 years it has been many. But (and I say this with tears) I believe that the leaders have become so accustomed to ignoring the warnings in order not stop world mission expansion that it has become inconceivable in their minds that they are from the Lord. It is because other servants have experienced this deafness from UBF members for so long that they have felt it necessary to use such extreme measures as the counseling that I went through to get through to those in UBF.

UBF is assuming that it is for bearing the Name of Jesus that she has been suffering during the last few years, and therefore her attitude has been to 'tighten up the ranks' and work even harder at raising up UBF shepherds. However, it is not for bearing Jesus' Name that UBF has been having trouble. It is for planting attitudes and actions in young believers which are not of Him. UBF's 'tightening up of the ranks' and pushing forward without honest self examination in the light of God's whole Word and without acknowledgement of His Spirit working through other servants has become like the attitude of the Israelites in Isaiah 9:8-12. "The bricks have fallen, but we will rebuild with dressed stone; the fig trees have been felled, but we will replace them with cedars." (Isaiah 9:10) Based on what the Lord has shown me, as well as a number of other Christians, in His Word since the time of my leaving last year, I believe that if UBF does not begin to listen to the servants sent to her, He will be forced to exert the same kind of judgement on her as He did on Israel when she did not listen to those sent to her in Isaiah 30:9-14. "Because you have rejected this message, relied on oppression and depended on deceit, this sin will become for you like a high wall, cracked and bulging, that collapses suddenly, in an instant." Isaiah 30:12, 13)

Brothers and sisters in Christ, for this reason I implore you to consider prayerfully before God alone the words of this testimony. I do not want to make any of you doubt the grace of Jesus you may have received during your time in UBF. I know that He used my time in UBF to expose me to His Word and to teach me some valuable lessons. If He has called you to Himself and you have received Him while you have been in UBF, do not doubt that salvation. But now continue in Him and learn how to distinguish between His voice and man's. He loves you too much to share His place in your life with anyone. If things seem confusing to you now, don't be afraid; call out to Jesus. He is your Shepherd, and He will lead you.

"Trust in the Lord with all you heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your path." Proverbs 3:6

In the love of Jesus Christ,

Chris J.

Shannon M. (former Chicago UBF)

2008-11-16T14:29:00.000-08:00

(May 2004 Xanga blog entry of a former member)

::UBF; What I Know Now, It was a Cult!::

(i'ma try to make this as short as possible)

UBF =University Bible Fellowship founded in the 1960's by Dr. Samuel Lee and Sarah Barry.

The University Bible Fellowship is an international evangelical student organization with emphasis on world mission. <--pulled directly from their home web page.

The UBF (University Bible Fellowship) is a little bit difficult to characterize, because hardly anything comparable exists. One might say that it is a centrally organized, international, fundamental-evangelistical ministry and mission movement, which targets on university students only. UBF itself uses the term world campus mission for that.

(This is something that has been weighing heavily on my heart and mind for quite a while now. Something that I believe has been the cause of many a thing that have gone on in my life in the past few years. This is a huge step that I am taking. There are many UBF Reformers out there who are trying to open the eyes of those still involved in UBF including it's leadership. There are many UBF members who have XANGA sites and I'm sure that eventually one if not all of them will stumble upon mine. I'm not sure how they will react since I have remained silent about this whole situation for the past 2 years...ah well here it goes.)er

I had never even heard of UBF which is strange I thought since I have always been active and in my church and was pretty knowledgeable about what was goin' in the circle of Christian churches located in Chicago, Untill I began to attend UIC.

My first Month at UIC I had been asked 5 times by little Korean women to study the bible. The first 3 times I said no staight away. The second time I said "yes" and gave Missionary P* my phone number but I never answered her calls and never attended bible study. The 4th time Missionary P* had asked me again, I think she had forgotten what I looked like cause she had no clue who I was it seemed and this time I said no again. The 5th time was different. This time I was laying on the lawn in front of Stevenson Hall listening to my headphones while catching a quick nap when a lil' Korean woman woke me up. She was all smiles and simply lovely. At first sight of her I knew what she wanted. I had been tryin to avoid all the people "fishing" as they called it on campus for the past month as much as I possibly could.... We talked for a good half hour. She filled me in on what UBF was and that they focused on bringing college students throughout the world to the bible. I proceeded to tell her how I know about that stuff cause I've grown up in church.... I felt comfortable with her so I said yes to bible study, this time with the intentions on acutally going...

So I went. It lasted an hour everything was cool. I enjoyed it. I met alot of great people a ton of new friends. So I continued to go once a week for the next 2 months. Then I was asked to come to a their Thursday meeting, kinda like a youth group thing, so I went. It was great. Each member of the fellowship shared testimony on what they were currently studyin in bible study or off of the previous Sunday's message. The singspiration was wonderful. The people again very friendly and inviting.... So I started to attend bible study once a week and then Thursday meetings. Before I knew It I was writing my testimony to share at the Thursday meetings. I even met a whole bunch of friends that I had in grade school etc that were also apart of UBF. Which made me more interested. After a while I was then asked to attend Sunday worship service and I did... So now I was having bible study once a week, attending Thursday meetings and Sunday's worship service.... I was in their Thanksgiving play. I attended their Christmas service in which over 5,000 people all over the world attended.... The more I studied the bible the more inviting they were the more time I spent with them the more I wanted and needed.... After a while I was asked to attend a Friday nite meeting and so I said yes then before ya know it I was having bible study on Tuesday, Thursday meetings, Friday meetings and Sunday service...

I have been asked now many times ? Didn't you know or don't you feel like it's a cult? The answer: No I didn't feel like that cause I was blind. They came into my life at the right time they were fullfilling the need I had in my heart. At the time they came in my life I had alot of spiritual questions, I was searching for a way to get out of my stagnant spirtiual state..... Now when I look back I wonder how I was so blind? What was I thinking?

So this went on for a year. In this time I was still attending 4 days a week, I went to all their retreats, I was having my own bible study with a fellow student, I had even been leading Singspiration on our Thursday meetings... Things were great. Not only had I found what I had been looking for spiritually but I also had found a whole bunch of great new friends. I was loving it. Soon I found myself always hanging out at the bible house inbetween classes, sometimes I would even miss class...

This continued into the summer where I was asked to give a message at our 4th of July service. In which I said yes. I prepared my message with all my heart working on it day and nite even over my homework. I had practiced it over and over with my bible teacher and had it down. Then when we submitted it to our fellowship leader he told me " it's good but you should use this instead" then he handed me a copy of the same topic written by Dr. Samuel Lee. I was told to humble myself and use his speech. I agreed but when time came to give my message I used my message. I worked hard on that message. I could tell he wasnt pleased but I didnt care. I didnt understand what was wrong with my message.

I got a probation notice saying that I needed to raise my GPA so I stopped going to friday meetings and switched my bible study to Thursday so I could just be there thursday for bible study and the Thursday meeting,.. In July my uncle and godfather passed away and my fellowship was great. They attended the wake services gave a generous donation to my family and had gotten together a sympathy card. They were great. But I was cold... I stopped attending for a while everything. I would get calls everyday wondering where I was why I was missing meetings etc.....

After a while I went back. But it wasnt the same it was like I got new eyes. I could finally see what everyone else was seeing. It was cultish....

Everyone looked the same, Everyone worship Samuel Lee as if he was God. Everyone looked the same, taught from the same bible study guides...Etc.....

It was at this time that I had decided to do an internet search on UBF I guess to prove that I along with everyone else was wrong...but I didn't get that.. Instead I got validation... I found tons of testimony from ex UBF members ...

...

I have been gone from UBF now for over 2 years and I still receive calls from my old fellowship leader and bible teacher. Until 8 months ago they were still showing up at my parents house sparatically. They were showing up at my work calling my work, sending me emails etc.... This is cause I just left without giving a reason.

I didn't like the person they were molding me into. They wanted everyone to be the same, think the same and do the same. They worshipped a MAN Dr. Lee over God.. They made me lose self-confidence and tried to make me think I didnt need my family and all I needed was them. They were emotionally, mentally and physically abusive. If u look under the sites I provided above you'll see examples.... I was living in fear and full of guilt and unfullfillment... I could write forever and tell you tons of my own examples but that wud take up to much time...So again if you' d like to know or you have ne questions contact me via email.... Please check out the sites above and more if you search for them if not for yourself, your own curiosity or maybe a UBF family member or friend....

THANKS

Mike D. (former Washington UBF)

2008-08-22T23:30:00.000-07:00

(Also see http://exubf.blogspot.com/2007/12/daniel-choi.html and http://exubf.blogspot.com/2007/05/michael-keenan.html.)

Date: Sat, Nov 5, 2005

I was recruited by Jacob Lee into the Washington Chapter of UBF in October of 1980. I can give testimony of their abuses because of the destruction they caused in my life. I escaped them in 1985, at which point Jacob Lee condemned me to Hell, saying that I was "falling back" and would be "destroyed". Of course, they back every one of their actions with misinterpreted scriptures. For this one he used Hebrews 10, emphasizing to me 10:39. Their keen abuse of the scriptures is what makes them particularly dangerous to young, learning, open-minded college students.
... Thanks, and excellent job researching the global destruction this authoritarian group has done!

Mike D.

Andrew (former Kiev UBF)

2008-08-07T15:45:00.000-07:00

( Posted at http://community.livejournal.com/rsqubf/77357.html . Parts translated from a Russian discussion board at http://jesuschrist.ru/forum/334275,,1.php . See also http://exubf.blogspot.com/2008/01/andrei-s-former-kiev-ubf.html )

17th-Jun-2006
Author: hdchris

Andrew, who left Kiev UBF 4 years ago, gives some insights into what is going on in Kiev UBF, by compiling a list of “abnormal” things he experienced during his membership. He asked his discussion partner, another Kiev UBF member, who is still in UBF and tried to defend UBF in the discussion, to comment these things and admit they are true and how he thinks about these. Of course, he did not get a comment about any of these concrete issues.

...

I decided to translate the issues he mentions, because they once again affirm that UBF abuse is the same everywhere in the world:

* Andrew and his elder brother Ivan were down with influenza and temperature above 39C. Yet, they were commanded to attend a meeting. Ivan did not attend the meeting, therefore his wedding was postponed. Andrew – being younger and not so courageous to decline – attended the meeting that lasted after midnight when there was scarce public transport. After that, he got a sever pneumonia and later bronchitis, which healed completely only after leaving UBF, because in UBF he had never enough time to rest and recover.
* Andrey said the leader propagated wrong information about me and my wife (who was from Kiev) after we left UBF, in order to put us in a bad light
* Before conferences, they had 15 different meetings a week in Kiev (in Heidelberg, it was similar, by the way) where they had to come to the center
* The leader ordered some to run to the station, singing songs. Those who refused to run were kicked out.
* Those who came late to the meetings were ordered to buy food for the others (which is costly and time-consuming in Kiev)
* Those who wanted to visit their parents in the summer holidays were publicly dispraised
* It was not allowed to date or to marry without approval of the pastor
* Those members who attended other churches in Kiev were considered “lost sheep”
* You could not be in a good standing with UBF without attending *all* meetings
* One shepherdess was told to come to a meeting, although she had fever and her infant at home
* When the wife of the leader left the hospital in order to attend a UBF meeting, though she was on a drip, this was presented as exemplary behavior
* If you leave Kiev and visit another church in another town, you are denounced by the leader
* For those who lived in “common life” apartments it was mandatory to attend the early morning meeting at 6:30am in the center
* Those who are not active in the church are regularly criticized in public
* The leader blamed the members with the words “even my children (3 and 10 years old) are giving more tithes than you do”
* The members are told to obey *everything* the leader commands, even if it seems to be false
* Every week you need to write a “sogam” with a list of your own problems and application of the Bible to your life, and have to share it in public. Those who do not write are publicly denounced.
* UBF exerts “training” for “spiritual education”. Some demands of these trainings are given as if they came out of the mouth of Jesus Christ directly. Only God can demand such things from others.
* In Kiev, one of the trainings was to hold a chair over the head (even the person who was defending UBF in that discussion was among the people who were trained that way).
* If you missed the early morning meetings, sometimes money was collected as a punitive measure.
* The leader regularly said “we are the disciples of Jesus Christ, we are more similar to the first church, in other churches the people compromise”
* You were not allowed to miss the many meetings during the preparation phase for the conferences.
* The leader said “I regret having founded the marriage of Ivan and Ira”

I can also add another story I was told by another ex Kiev UBF member. He once missed the Sunday service, because he drove to another town. When he came back, he was kicked out of his home (a UBF “brothers’ common life” apartment) by the leader (though the leader of course was not even living in that apartment), and he had to spend the night in the railway station. That happened in winter.

Hal W. (former Chicago UBF)

2008-07-15T13:23:00.000-07:00

Date: 04 Jun 2001 11:53:29

Hello XX,

I am glad to hear that you agree with my decision. I left for many of the reasons you listed, but I did not get my information from any web site. It is my belief that UBF is not where God would have me to be. In my time at UBF it seemed to me that too much emphasis was placed on Dr. Samuel Lee and his manuscript. While I understand that he is a good servant of God, I could not take his words above the word of God. I am sorry to have to leave, but I truly feel that I would not continue to grow in UBF. I did not feel that the people in power had the credentials to be teaching and training disciples. I also noticed a lot of forced pushing instead of emphasis on growing in the Christian faith. Once more I thank you for your words, they are a confirmation that I have done what is best for me. May God bless you in your Christian life

...

In Christ,
-hal

Nafina A. (former Chicago UBF)

2008-07-12T20:22:00.000-07:00

Date: Thu, 12 Apr 2001 00:19:09

Hi,

I just found the reformubf.org website (and its related one rsqubf). I left ubf a year ago and I am very very disconcerted after reading so many horrible accounts of Dr. Samuel Lee's behavior (and some of the testimonies in the rsqubf site). My bible teacher exhibited a lot of the same characteristics everyone else is describing (controlling, manipulative, scaring and using God's word for her own agenda). There came a point that my family (who is not Christian) told me to get out or I'd be kicked out. They (UBF) of course told me that my family is not Christian so I shouldn't listen to them and if i do then I'm disobeying God. And they would always quote, "Do you want to obey man or God?" So it was a REALLY REALLY horrible time in my life and THANK GOD I chose to remain with my family.

I have just found this site today and I'm so shocked. I hope that whatever is being said about ubf isn't true. Partly due to my pride (that I got sucked in) and partly bc I really did make good friendships in UBF and most of the people I knew were true Christians (albeit fearful of Dr. Samuel Lee).

I just spoke to my best friend (who's still in UBF) and she said that that whole site is a fraud and they got this last year and it's so sad that just bc a few ppl have problems with Dr. samuel lee, they are doing this to blemish the name of UBF. Somehow that explanation doesn't ring true. How can so many ppl post similar experiences and I personally relate to most of them.

Lilian (former Chicago UBF)

2008-06-13T10:58:00.000-07:00

(Comment posted at sarahjanerhee.com)

Hi there,

Listening to your story is painful because I can truly understand how you feel. I was approach by one of these fools in 2004 named Tiffany when I was a student at UIC. She came as a wolf in sheeps clothing, she asked me their famous phrase "do you want to study the bible?", I being a dedicated christian said yes. I mean, I thought this is cool I have someone to study the bible with at school. Well...everything seemed fine at first. She came to our home twice and my husband heard her dogma and said after she left, "She's wrong in what she thinks, and her christianity is wrong." Then my best friend who met her as well said "they are like cultish." I continued to bible study with Tiffany because I didn't know how to rid her of me. She started with genesis and would follow some outline she had twisting the book of genesis which I notice right off the bat. Then she told me about their "marriage by faith" which I thought was completely wild. No church in life has ever believed or promoted any of their beliefs, and I grew up in the church for the most part.

Well...only like a month had gone by since meeting this loone, and Easter was approaching. She told me of a "conference" UBF was having and invited me to go. After telling my husband he said "I don't want you to go." I realize now it was the Holy Spirit speaking thru him. I said okay, because I really didn't want to go at all, because we have our own church that we attend. When I told Tiffany I wasn't going she keep insisting day after day, after day, after day that I go. She became abraisive and munipulative and said that nothing should be more important than God to me. I said to myself 'nothing is', I simply don't want to go to your outing. Then she would say things that would almost divide me and my husband, she said "he doesn't have to come", and not your husband but God is the most important.

After this I joined one of MY churches ministry's and told her. She was silent and realize that I would nerver join UBF. I must say getting her angry was awesome!!!! None the less, I was somewhat bruised because she made me feel, even if just for a limited time, that I had to do things her way to please God, and that my christian life was bad or corrupt if I wasn't doing things 100% for their "great commision." So I got tired, I told her "when I have time to bible study I'll call you." I never did again, she would call me but I'd ignore her calls. Now I'm thankful to my savior Jesus Christ for not allowing me to be perverse and twisted and for pointing me straight back to him. The scripture that always came to my mind was Jesus came to set the captive free. To God be the Glory!!!

God is Love bro, ask him to give you a real revelation of how much he loves you just as you are and all you have to do is believe!

Lilian | 06.27.07 - 12:17 pm

Desiree R. (former Toledo UBF)

2008-06-05T11:16:00.000-07:00

Regarding the allegations of forced abortions, here is a personal note written by Desiree R., a former member of Toledo UBF: “Dear Sarah Barry; I am sending you this note, because I have been disturbed by this issue for many years. Way back in the early 1980’s you and I sat at your kitchen table, and had our first ‘get to know each other’ discussion. The first question out of your mouth to me was ,‘Did you have an abortion?’ and ‘Why did you do this?’. I will never forget the look of pure anger on your face, even though I stated to you that your information was incorrect. I guess I just want to hear from you why it was so important to listen to false witness about me and make a judgment before you heard the truth. I want to hear from you how you could support Samuel Lee’s direction for some Korean UBF women to follow through with abortions and give up their children for the sake of serving their ‘mission’. I want to know how you sleep at night knowing that your silence on this issue has killed the innocents and stricken their families with grief and shame. I find it odd that you could look me in the face and express concern, for something I never did or would ever have considered, and yet, behind the backs of all who respected you, (and your so called ‘Christian’ beliefs) you would support murder. Just so you get the full picture here. Remember the facts. I was heavily involved in UBF for most of my youth. I paid the ultimate price. I lost my health and my ability to ever bear children. It has taken me years to overcome my emotions about this issue. Over the years, I have often reflected back on the time I spent with you. You may or may not recognize how naive people were to your charms. I want to know how you live with yourself, knowing full well that your influence has caused so much sadness.”

Dwight J. (Father of former Chicago UBF member)

2008-05-30T20:21:00.000-07:00

(See also http://exubf.blogspot.com/2008/11/chris-j-former-chicago-ubf.html)

(The original scanned copy of a 1985 letter sent to Lee and Barry by the parents of a Chicago UBF recruit can be found at http://exubf.info/outside_material/concernedparent1985.pdf. The writer was a retired pastor in the Evangelical Covenant Church. His letter reveals just how little UBF's fundamentally wrong teachings and practices have changed in all this time.)

March 22, 1985

Dear Sarah and Mr. Lee:

For several reasons, we have deliberately delayed a response to your letter. May and I needed time to let the many experiences over the last two or three months filter through both of our minds and emotions. He have prayed much about Chris over the past several months. As various events unfolded in January, it was obvious that God was in what we were doing. Our prayers were two-fold: for wisdom in releasing Chris from the control of U.B.F. and also that she would find real peace and purpose in new directions of Christian fellowship and ministry. It is thrilling for us to see her openly sharing with us again, both in terms of Christian concerns as well as in family experiences.

Time to formulate a letter to you has also been at a minimum. Although we will not attempt to respond to everything you discussed, some matters deserve comment. I do have the same problem as you, however - it is hard to say something briefly.

Another reason for hesitating to write immediately was that we wanted to be careful to express ourselves in a way which genuinely reflected our deep concerns about U.B.F and its ministry. You obviously are not aware of what you were doing to Chris and to others in that program. We're trusting that through prayer and the leading of God‘s Spirit, some of these thoughts can be adequately put on paper.

We feel that the Gospel intends that people will find freedom in their relationship with Christ (John 8:32-36) - freedom from sin and guilt and the resulting freedom to share their faith with all people - including their family, all Christians and those outside of Christ. The message Chris received from U.B.F. was that she was bound to believe and do and teach things exactly as taught her, and only as you taught her. She felt guilty if she didn't study for hours and hours or if she failed to pray as often as she had been told to do. She felt compelled to write sogams so far into the night that sometimes she wasn't physically alert for her job. She got a clear signal about evangelizing those without Christ, but found less and less time to share her faith and life with her family and other Christians.

I came from a strongly evangelical background so I realize that we need to discipline ourselves in Bible study, prayer and commitment if we are to deepen our relationship with the Lord. But when Bible study, prayer and other disciplines result in the kind of "guilt trips" I've seen in Chris and others who have been part of U.B.F., something is seriously wrong. Paul speaks in Galatians 3 about the difference between law and grace. So easily we deceive ourselves into thinking that regimentation and training can improve upon the work of the Spirit. Could it be that Paul has something to say to U.B.F. in verse 3? I think so.

Jesus had some rather strong words for those who put themselves in places of authority and were lording it over others in leadership roles. James and John had tried to establish a preferred position with Christ. Jesus reminds us (Mark l0:42-45) to be servants of each other, not to insist on having authority over others. Elders in 1 Peter 5:1-5 were asked to be examples to the flock ~ not ones who would lord it over those entrusted to them.

The kind of teaching and nurture U.B.F. is providing, in my opinion, is extra-scriptural. You are laying burdens on your members which are unhealthy. You are setting yourselves up as authority figures of the Church and of Christian discipline without even recognizing the greater Church around you.

Several things you mention illustrate what I'm trying to say. You say that Girls deliberately tried to seduce boys at U.B.F. What really happened is that she was friendly with everyone - girls as well as boys. God did not make a mistake when he created male and female with differences. Our task as Christian parents and leaders is to teach young people to accept their sexuality and learn to appreciate it and express it properly, not to suppress it or regard it as something bad or unfortunate. It appears to me that you couldn't handle the responsibility of leading young people into meaningful co-ed Christian experiences. Instead you made her feel guilty about some very normal feelings which she and other young people have.

Your arranging of marriages is neither scripturally nor socially sound. You can find no basis for that practice in the teaching of Christ or from any other New Testament passage. Taking one or two Old Testament passages from which to develop such a procedure is very questionable. The Scriptures exhort us to utilize _all_ of God's Word in formulating policies and doctrines - and to avoid pulling out one or two proof texts at will with which to develop a thought or belief. Your use of this practice merely illustrates further how far you are willing to go to control and maneuver your members. You have no right to pre-destine two lives into this relationship for a lifetime. You can and should pray with young people and for them in this very significant step in life, but they are the ones who, after prayer and times of learning to know each other, must decide whether or not their marriage is to be. I shudder to think that you were arranging this marriage for Chris and John. I hope you also have the good sense and Christian conviction to shudder at what you were trying to do - and what you are doing and have done with a number of other couples. What is your answer to them if they come later to say that they now realize they were not meant for each other? Would you assume the blame at that point - or would you blame them?

Your use of mind control (via study materials, written and re-written sogams, time commitments, etc.) makes it impossible for people in U.B.F. to fully hear and respond to God's voice and the Holy Spirit. You have steeped these people so heavily with your interpretations of Scripture, many of which do not stand up to real scrutiny and a proper understanding of the passage, that they cannot hear what others are trying to say to them. Chris, for example, was led to think that our church and even our family was second-rate and not to be trusted. Maybe this can help you understand why we saw no value in trying to talk to you about our concern for her welfare. You would simply have led her to question the validity of her family and church in further ways. we didn't want to have her subjected to any more of that kind of instruction or influence.

Chris is happier than we have seen her for years. She realizes now that, although she learned some good things through U.B.F., your method of indoctrinating people and controlling them, is wrong. Evidently she had already discussed some of these things with you.

We might have tried to counsel Chris ourselves but we weren't sure how effective this would be. We are grateful for Christian professional counsellors. Their sensitivity and caring spirit impressed us immensely. They did not want or try to destroy a person's Christian faith but they were concerned that Chris would learn to think for herself again. Your letter indicates that you have no knowledge about these types of counsellors.

Your understanding of the others who have left U.B.F. is evidently lacking also. Seemingly you are determined to defame and discredit any who leave U.B.F. I've talked to and prayed with several of those you mention in your letter. They aren't "dark and nervous, like a psychiatric patient", nor "fearful, nervous..." They are instead free to make their own choices in life. They speak of the fact that a burden has been removed from their lives. They now are able to seek what the Lord really wants them to do. Some are planning and preparing for Christian service. All are concerned that they will continue to grow in the knowledge of Jesus Christ. However, the emotional damage which U.B.F. inflicted will take time to heal. To be involved in the kind of tainted teaching and training which U.B.F. conducts doesn't wash out in a few weeks or months.

We are concerned about U.B.F. What started out as a tremendously important and effective ministry in Korea has now gone in a direction which cannot be God's plan for it. The largest single problem with U.B.F. is that it has divorced itself from the Church. Christ is the head of the Church. He established it and sent the twelve to go to all the world, teaching and preaching this good news. There have been times, undoubtedly, when God has been disappointed with His Church, but He has never given up on it. Yet, you seemingly feel that you can and should work apart from this Church. I hope that you will prayerfully re-examine your lack of relationship with it and find some way to re-establish yourself with His Body.

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." - Ga1. 5:1. I'm grateful that several have found release from what was a bondage in U.B.F. Our prayers are that you too will sense that Paul's words here apply to several of the practices and teachings which are taking place in your group.

This is much too long a letter. Even so it cannot really say all that should he said. I am open for a chance to talk with you about these matters - but not to argue about them. These are serious matters which need to be resolved.

Sincerely,

Dwight J

David T. (relative of former UBF member)

2008-05-28T11:34:00.000-07:00

Why do I care and why am I doing this? - Our Personal story:

A close relative of our family was innocently taken in by UBF. When we first found out he was involved in a worldwide "church group", of which we had not heard, we decided to investigate. The theology sounded fine on the surface, but something was just a bit off. We went to a UBF meeting, and, among other things, found it strange that the five speakers (1 Asian and 4 white) all spoke with the same staccato Asian accent of those who are non-native English speakers. We investigated further, coming to the realization it was a very unhealthy environment. There is now WAY more information out than there was then.

We became aware of his involvement a little over a year into it, just as he was leaving the "love bomb" phase and was entering the "spiritual training"/indoctrination phase. When confronted with the truth, he came to believe it was a cult, and got out. Having developed a love for those who are deceived by lies in a wrapper of truth, he is now becoming a missionary to Mormons.

In the words of Edmund Burke, "All that is necessary for Evil to triumph is for good men to say nothing." Do not the scriptures say "For his yoke is easy and his burden is light" and elsewhere "Stand firm and do not be subject to a yoke of slavery"? We cannot allow erroneous teaching in the church, or we will have human suffering on OUR hands. We cannot stand idly by while error is presented under the guise of truth in the Body of Christ. Weaker brothers and sisters in Christ will be too easily led astray and into a bondage that transcends the bondage of legalism, directly into spiritual slavery to mere man.

David T.
2003

Anonymous (former India UBF)

2008-05-15T11:25:00.000-07:00

(Posted at http://marvinthangjam.blogspot.com)

(A former India UBF member briefly recounts his and his wife's UBF experience through a blog post that is meant to be from the perspective of his infant son.)

Thursday, November 29, 2007

...

My father. He came to Delhi with many unfulfilled tasks. He did not fare well in his +2 as much as he expected. He did not join medicine or engineering as many of his friends did. Dr. Romen Keisham, a schoolmate of my father used to say, he was lucky to meet my mother and change the course of his life. During the first two years, first my father joined a Christian Cult, called University Bible Fellowhip. And in his remaining days of the graduation days, he got involved with the Manipur Students' Association, Delhi. Only after, they met each other, he did begin to concentrate in his studies, successfully cleared his graduation and joined Jawaharlal Nehru University, Delhi for his post graduation in political science. That was in 1996.

They met each other in October 1993 in a Bible Conference organised by UBF at Mt. Carmel School, New Delhi. But they exchanged their first kiss in a small park at Motibagh II, where they're staying. The date: October 31, 1993. They're starcrossed lovers. My father left UBF because they started pressing him to abandon my mother. [Tried to break up their relationship.] They do not exactly remember the date, but it was on a hot summer day. My father was persuaded to travel on a Summer Camp [conference], UBF, at Nainital. My father ran back from the railway station (Old Delhi) to my mother. There he found her weeping like a lost girl. Since then, he stopped visiting the UBF. Good for them.

...

Mary

2008-05-10T07:26:00.000-07:00

(Originally posted at voy.com/60734/. See also http://rsqubf.info/discuss/archive/marriage_by_faith_3.html.)

Author: Mary
Subject: Re: Arranged Marriage - my opinion
In reply to: Chris 's message, "Re: Arranged Marriage - my opinion" on
13:46:44 09/18/03 Thu

Chris,

Thank you so much for writing this incredible and truthful email about marriage by faith. None of this is twisted in away, it gets to the heart of the matter of UBF marriages. I too was married by faith, and consider myself one of the lucky ones too. But I believe it was not only luck, but God intervention. During my single years in UBF it was hard. I was always being told I liked someone, just because I was friendly or smiled at a person of the opposite sex. Unforutnatly some of the boys of UBF also thought I wanted to marry them just because I smiled at them. I did not know that being friendly or a smile was a practical request for being arranged. In college, boys did not like me just because I smiled, but in UBF they thought I wanted to marry them. Anyway, they would easily get "cooked" by a smile because later I learned a girl in UBF is suppose to be cold and not nice to the boys. But I could be friendly to all potential sheep regardless of sex. I learned, repented of my cursed womans desire that the boys were smelling (as my shepherd would say) and became cold as possible. But not to long in my involvement in UBF I was being asked to marry someone whom I cooked in my smiling days. I said "No", I was not in UBF to marry. I wanted to grow up first, learn of Jesus, finish school and later perhaps marrage could be considered. But I was told that I should be more like another american shepherdess who married by faith. I was too knew to understand that really, but I felt the pressure and suffered much for almost a year because I couldn't find the way to convince them I was not at peace with marriage. Once I was told "It was now my duty to marry the guy, because I "cooked" him." I was shocked, by the shepherds of UBF who would use any excuse to try and make me marry. I almost ran away because of this. But in my suffering I turned to God, found comfort in David's psalms of anguish and told God that if I married by faith and my marriage failed, then I would hold him personally responsible. Not the Christian thing to do to a HOLY God, but I would not take the chance to marry by UBF standards without the presence of the HOLY GOD intervening. I was arranged a few times, one arrangement that fell thru, I think the guy probably didn't like me (that's okay with me, it was nice when they gave him a choice like that, but I was told that is rare). Another arrangement where I agreed, but was very reluctant and wanted to kill myself for obeying but I wanted to obey my shepherd (this is when I pleaded with God, that I would obey his command to marry by faith, though his shepherds) as long as he really was there arranging it. And finally my engagement with my spouse almost canceled because the shepherds wanted to manipulate us to obey their very command as long as they could. I was constantly told that if I liked the guy I was spoiling the whole marriage by faith and was marrying by like not by faith. I was also counseled to prepare to marry someone not favorable or possibly not the best humanly, but had potential to be great in the future if I took care of him correctly. I was counseled to be ready, whenever, wherever, however, with whomever. I went from saying NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. To maybe it's me, I shouldn't say no, to OK I'll marry by faith as long as God is really the underling marriage arranger, to Yes. Ironically, each marriage arrangement brought me closer to the Yes. YOu would think that it would bring me closer to believing UBF was a cult. But their counsel and the fact that I had no one else to talk to about it was the turning point. Also I found I had to defend UBF ways to family and friends. To my family, who had to cancel a wedding, they really thought I was crazy. To friends, after the wedding cancelation I stopped telling them about my engagements until my real wedding came. One friend who did not realize the first wedding was canceled, thought I just postponed and but later wondered why the name of the groom was different. Many times I covered up the problems of UBF, out of my own pride to believe UBF was in the right. BUT how harmful that was too me and others.

Jim S. (former Chicago UBF)

2008-05-09T08:42:00.000-07:00

(in response to a UBF supporter)

Dr. Armstrong,

While I agree with you that ex-ubf members should move on with their anger toward UBF so they can be used by God in a new ministry, I also believe that the unrighteousness and unrepentant (evil) characteristics of UBF should be exposed. UBF does not function as a Bible believing church with financial accountability, sound doctrine or church discipline. As ex-ubf participants I believe it is our responsibility and calling as Christians to expose evil and defend the gospel. (Gal.1:8,9;Jude 3,4). I have personal experiences of the abuses of UBF since I was a participant of this group from 1983 to 2001. I was associated with Dr. Ben Toh and his fellowship since 1984. I was constantly manipulated to attend meetings, even lied to and about so I would go to these meetings. My last straw was when Dr. Toh, a church elder in UBF, was floating the false rumor to many people that I was in the immoral company of prostitutes. I could not take it anymore so I left an organization that I had been associated with half of my life at that time.

As a reformed theologian, you should know that the Christian education is very poor in UBF and a formal Christian education was discouraged while I was there. If you asked someone to explain the doctrine of election/predestination, you would be scoffed at as an old Christian. You could even end up in someone's (Dr. Toh's) public testimony as someone who should be mocked and derided. I would venture to bet that if you asked someone in UBF today, to explain the five points of Calvinism, you would face a dead stare and/or be ignored. While I may not be an expert on Reformed theology, I do believe these principles should be central to one's Christian faith and basic beliefs of God as Dr. Sproul would say.

Another central problem to UBF is the financial unaccountability. In 1997, when I was requested to make up some offerings, I first requested copies of my offering statements from 1996 and 1997 YTD. The contribution statements were understated by at least 50%. From that point on, I never received another annual contribution statement. I have also seen financial statements from UBF during those years and they were very shoddy compared to the regular financial statements I have seen from the churches I have attended since I left UBF. UBF never let regular members scrutinize or even see their financial records while I was there!

Another obvious spiritual sin in UBF is that there is no church discipline. There have been several incidents of adultery in the church hierarchy of UBF and yet there has been no discipline. No one has been removed from their positions or told to leave UBF because of their immoral conduct. At every church I have attended people who were exposed for these sins were told to leave their position and the church. So I cannot say that UBF is a Bible believing church because they do not practice sound Biblical doctrine. I would not encourage anyone to participate in UBF, even if you do think they exhibit missionary and evangelical fervor. There are several other theological errors I could share with you that the others have covered but I think that you have not examined the true spiritual state of UBF sufficiently. If you have, then you should have answers for the topics I have covered briefly.

Posted by: Jim S. | March 11, 2007

Rosa (former UBF from Latin America)

2008-05-05T17:08:00.000-07:00

(in response to a UBF supporter)

"UBF not only heard me but put the sermon on their Web site immediately".

...where??? ...is necessary to talk with the common members, not only with the leaders. What would Jesus do?

...is good to talk about change the mistakes in USA... but, what about with the broken hearts in other countries? ...Mexico, for example. People married "by faith" who not only is far of UBF now, but far from God. sorry, my english is so bad. (My heart is healing in Jesus)

Posted by: Rosa | April 09, 2007

Andrey P. (former Russian UBF)

2008-04-29T10:41:00.000-07:00

(in response to a UBF supporter)

Dr. Armstrong,

Some ex-members already asked you several good questions. I will ask you no more questions. I will tell you my story.

I spent in UBF 12 years. Last 8 years I was the right-hand-man of the Director of Moscow UBF, Russia. I was considered as native leader, read many messages in Moscow, at Bible conferences in various CIS UBF centers, such as Minsk, Kiev, Astana and so on. I read several messages on international UBF conferences in US. I did a lot of other things in UBF. You may see my picture on the 2006 UBF wall calendar somewhere in the top left corner.

I am saying all this to show that I was not sitting in the last row all this time. I know the life of UBF from within.

I left UBF in the summer of 2006. I had only one reason – my conscience did not allow me to stay in the organization with the history, teachings and methods of UBF.

I was naïve for many years. I also thought that in UBF there is only one goal – to preach the Gospel. I could endure and overlooked many strange things for years (for example, Samuel Lee called my shepherd and *allowed*?! me to continue my Ph.D. studies). When I had too many questions I had to look into the Bible more carefully, compare critical stories with official history and read all UBF messages and reports I could find. It took about a year to realize that UBF has some systematic problems. (One more example: The letter written by 7 Korean leaders in 1976, one year after I was born, describes almost the same abuses I endured in Moscow UBF more than 20 years later. But UBF calls the authors of the letter rebels to the very present day.) I know that there are individuals mistakes. But I saw the very same problems in different UBF chapters from Minsk to Mongolia.

At first I hoped to change anything in Moscow UBF. I saw that UBF missionaries are hurt by their shepherds in Korea, but they continue to hurt their Russian sheep in the same way they were hurt.

Very soon I've found that nobody wants to change anything that really matters. I was talking with several UBF leaders at that time. Here what they said me about UBF problems:

"In Chicago UBF everything was more than good".

"You are very important person. Keep silent [about UBF problems] to make good spiritual influence".

But I could not be silent anymore. I saw the big difference between how Jesus or Apostle Paul treated people and how people are treated in UBF. My conscience did not allow me to be the part of the organization that values itself more than the Gospel, rewrites its own history, never repents while not stopping call himself "Kingdom of priest and a holy nation". I've spent my last six months in UBF to protect two sisters (my wife's "sheep") from UBF attempts to mold them into the system.

I forgave UBF people for any harm. I remember good things they did for me. I especially thankful to God that he used UBF as the platform to teach me what manipulation and mind control is and how to confront against it. But can a normal church be such a platform? But I see that they continue to deceive, harm and destroy themselves. Not much hypocrisy is needed to corrupt the soul. Most importantly, I see they continue to harm young students thinking that they are "raising Jesus disciples". Should I be silent?

I did not know what mistakes UBF leaders had admitted before you. But I do see what "spiritual directions" they give to ordinary members these days:

"So we must have faith in God and challenge as Dr. Lee did". Does it include forcing abortions or breaking the family in the name of training or "special love"?

"Double the number through disciple training ministry by 2010". Is it official acknowledgment that numbers in UBF are more important than anything else?

Direction like these does not seem even to approach any of UBF system problems.

Now, after 12 years in UBF and a half a year in a normal church, I came to the conclusion that if UBF had no spiritual abuses and misappropriations of money, it would be better to leave it only for what they teach about God and relationship with him. But add abuses, add sexual scandals with UBF leaders that is covered with a silence or UBF (i.e. members) money, add Moon-like "business mission" what one will get?

I doubt that the sum can be called "the hope of America".

I am very sorry for people who stays in UBF. They do not know what they are doing.

Posted by: AndreyP | February 03, 2007

J

2008-04-26T14:59:00.000-07:00

(This was a comment posted in response to the Johns Hopkins Newsletter article.)

posted 7/26/02 @ 8:20 AM EST

Thanks for your article. I was in the UBF from the fall 2001 semester until yesterday. I'm so disappointed to know all these things. The UBF was something that I believed in. I'll survive, definitely; I'm just sorry that I had to get pulled into this and become a little attached and then discover these things. I didn't assimilate totally because I've always had a freespirited individualist streak. Recently I started to feel alienated partly because of that and partly because several missionaries were trying to control my life and I couldn't reason with them. I'm thankful to God for everyone who led me to this knowledge. I'm really sad to know this, but I'm glad that I found out before getting extremely entangled. Well, I go to another church as well. It's probably time to get more involved there.

J

Tim M. (former Los Angeles UBF)

2008-04-26T14:55:00.000-07:00

(This was a comment posted in response to the Johns Hopkins Newsletter article.)

posted 5/07/02 @ 5:48 PM EST

I'm thankful to the JHU newsletter for this article. I was involved with UBF in Los Angeles, and reading this article and speaking with Mr. Timlin opened my eyes about the organization. I'm pulling out, and getting my life back. There are better places to worship God than groups like UBF. Thank you, Lindsay Saxe, for your article.

Tim, Student
Los Angeles
tmcfadde@usc.edu

PSUIrishDave (former Penn State UBF)

2008-04-25T11:33:00.000-07:00

This is a story for those with a bleeding heart for romance and who love a good cry.

As I go through Holy Week in my church, I am overtaken with sadness, not only for images of Christ's passion-suffering, but for another life that I will never have.

I am reminded of late-August 1997 and 2000, when I visited Russia for church conferences, when I was in a different church, University Bible Fellowship (UBF). While there with the group, we got to visit some of the most extraordinary places ever to see. There was the Smolny Cathedral...

and St. Isaac's Cathedral...

both in St. Petersburg, Russia.

There's the spectacular St. Basil's Cathedral in Red Square in Moscow, the nation's Capital...

But then there was the most beloved sight my eyes ever beheld. Her name is Elena. This is a roughly-scanned picture of her, compliments of one of the "co-workers", such as they are, in her chapter of the UBF, located in Novosibirsk, deep in the heart of Siberia... [picture omitted]

I'm positively heartbroken to recall the tale of how I met her and fell in love with her. I believe in my heart that she felt the same way, at least at one point in time. The circumstances of our meetings shout it out loudly. There we would be, standing, facing each other, not knowing what we could say to each other, because we spoke different languages. You see, in this wretched UBF church, they practice a modified form of *arranged marriages*.

I am not kidding you. They expressly discourage dating of ANY kind in the church. I know--I'd gotten in trouble for this kind of thing in the past. If you are a "growing shepherd" in the church, they will bring up the idea of possible marriage with the higher-ups in the church, who are in Chicago, Illinois.

If they like the idea and think you're ready, they will allow the local "leaders" to talk to you about it. Then they would SUGGEST someone to you. ONLY THEN are you allowed to ask the other person out on a date. [Since dating is forbidden, some sort of modified courtship. A great majority of UBF married couple don't even "date".] If the chemistry's there, then you will be married. [Or even if the chemistry's not there, you will encouraged to "overcome your emotions" and get married anyway.] If not, you can "put up a fuss" and your marriage will be postponed.

Well, back to Elena. As you can now gather, my thought was to NEVER bring up to my "leaders" about my secret love for Elena. As it is in the UBF code, AMERICAN MEN SIMPLY DO NOT MARRY RUSSIAN WOMEN. [Actually, they did on at least one occasion, because UBF leadership arranged it so.] If I were to reveal my secret love, my hopes would be dashed and I would never be allowed to travel with the journey team to Russia ever again. Yet, if I kept silent... what then? Nothing. I would die with my secret. It pains me even to type these words...

I was so heartbroken over the matter, and convinced in my inner being that there was no reasonable solution, that in 2001, I attempted suicide. I loved Elena more than anything in the world, but couldn't live in a world where this wretched apostate and heretical church would stand in the way of any such thing. Obviously, I didn't go through with it, but it DID force me to quit the church once and for all. What now? Would I now be able to finally state my plea? I thought of writing her a letter, telling her how I felt. This was difficult because, of all things, I was afraid that my move would've been interpreted as a brash advancement against the church and an attempt to pull away a sister from Christ. For you see, by leaving UBF, I was overtaken by the devil in THEIR eyes.

Instead, I simply wrote to her and her Siberian chapter, hoping that word hadn't spread out there that I left the church here in the US. All I wanted was something, written by her, her chapter or ANYTHING, telling me that things were as I remembered them. I received a three-line e-mail message, with a group photograph as an attachment. I clipped out Elena and threw away the rest.

Now in 2006, I have no idea what is going on, whether she is now "married by faith" or what have you. She probably is, and I will never know. In 2004 I made a bold attempt to find out the latest news, but the local "leaders" put a stop to my inquiry... those seething scoundrels, wretched evil-doers. Curse UBF and its sinister cult-like practices!

There is one kind of happy ending though.. For in visiting those cathedrals, I was introduced to the Russian Orthodox Church, which I later joined and have since been much more fulfilled in my faith.

Here I am, getting more depressed, fatter, lonlier. For I vowed in my heart that if I would not marry Elena, I would not marry. Call me foolish if you will, that's okay. I've thought out my battle, and I lost. End of story. I now only have a broken heart never to be mended.

sogum_sam (former Chicago UBF)

2008-04-24T09:36:00.000-07:00

(Posted at http://community.livejournal.com/rsqubf)

Comment by sogum_sam on 2005-09-03
Subject: face saving by any means

My chapter director was not Korean, but he sure picked up the buisness of saving face. I think he perfected it! He would say whatever he needed to in order to clear himself of any advice or direction he had given that didn't work out. He did this even when it didn't matter or when it was blatantly obvious. I believe this has had a negative impact on the ministry- it did on me. He was too concerned with it, as if the ministry would fall apart if he lost face and actually had to apologies or sit down and work things out with us apart from some planned Bible study or message. He would put the problem back on us. It was if the ministry was held together half by Jesus and half by his untainted image. He was trying to remain as pristine as possible despite all that happened right under his nose.

(In response to http://www.livejournal.com/users/rsqubf/31105.html)

Comment by sogum_sam on 2005-10-14

...

... this article mentions self- reflection and personal examination an examination of the groups theology compared to their practices. Yes, doing all these things has helped me to move on with some understanding of why things went down the way they did. I have been able to honestly asses myself and what made me so vulnerable and impressionable. God is Sovereign.

One example of how UBf's practices overrode it's stated theology is in it's teaching of the Holy Spirit. They teach you to depend on the Holy Spirit to fish and feed sheep,that it is actually the work of the Holy Spirit leading you and convicting them- not your efforts. However, there is so much emphasis and expectation placed on feeding sheep and raising disciples that you easily let go of this this truth and resort to your own strength and efforts to bring sheep and study with them faithfully. This is when we can become too pushy and even coercive or manipulative to one degree or another. Then we repackage all of our human efforts and call it "by any means" faith which is just about the same as "the end justifies the means". "It is OK to be pushy and manipulative if we are doing it in obedience to the word of God." This is how people get hurt and end up bitter about their experiences in UBF (ie. the guestbook post by Michelle Williams)

Really depending on the Holy Spirit to be a witness and to help others does not lead us to be so proud or to be so possessive of God's sheep. We are still concerned and compelled to help them, but without the controlling.

As far as talking and voicing our experiences, I thank God for this web site, which has allowed me to read the experiences of others which bore witness to my own. When there was no one to talk to about my issues with UBF leadership, rsqubf and the other sites became a kind of support group for me. I thank God for the boldness of those who have come forward without fear of the ridicule that UBF responds with. I have not done that yet.

sisterinjesus

2008-04-22T08:33:00.000-07:00

(Posted at http://community.livejournal.com/rsqubf)

"I just wonder how many people in UBF really understand the Gospel?"

That is a really good question. I wonder the same thing; in fact I was just thinking about that this weekend after talking to my pastor about my husband and I in ubf. I was saved before UBF - though my experience in UBF adversely affected my faith. In fact, knowing what I know now about ubf, explains why the ubf koreans did not understand when I told them what I experienced as a born-again Christian. They taught the gospel, but practiced something different. So many conflicting messages. My husband learned the bible only through UBF and though I wanted to leave, he was determined never to leave ubf. This went on for years until we saw the info. on the web and learned the truth about ubf. He is only now learning the true gospel and realizing it is not by works. Some great books: "The Cross-Centered Life" by C.J. Mahaney; "Transforming Grace" by Jerry Bridges and "The Discipline of Grace" by Jerry Bridges.

...

"It's just selective overly self-centered history. Everything UBF = God's Work. Everything not UBF = Satan's work."

This is not just referring to a country, but individuals as well. A good example of this is my own life testimony. When I first came to ubf and wrote my life testimony (which, of course, goes through many edits), just before giving mine at a spring conference, it was cut down some more. What was cut out was when and how I came to receive Christ, a year before actually studying at ubf. I didn't even have time to think as it was handed back to me just before I read it. Afterwards I just cried that the one single most important event, how and when I received Christ and was saved, the POINT of my testimony, had been removed from my testimony. (They obviously just wanted me to go directly from my old life to UBF, so UBF gets the glory, not Jesus) I complained enough that two years later, I was given another opportunity to give my testimony. But, it was an appeasement.

parkhjoy

2008-04-19T09:04:00.000-07:00

(Posted at http://www.xanga.com/parkhjoy/45292398/item.html )

Sunday, November 23, 2003

church is a place where people gather together to help each other to worship and serve God. But church can be also a place full of gossip and disappointments and scars. Going to church is a right attitude to have in God. However, when one is hurt so badly because of the people in the church, the church becomes the reason why one doesn't want to follow God anymore, because he/she sees the church and the people, "Christians," as harmful and unwelcoming.

I have been to many different churches in the past. I am a protetant, but I don't mind going to catholic services. I am currently going to a church called UBF (University Bible Fellowship). many koreans whom I have met recently seem to think that UBF isn't a real church, but just a Christian organization where people are trained to become missionaries. I guess I never thought about that aspect of UBF, but it is true that UBF people are trained to become good bible teachers/shepherds, and also to become missionaries who work for God in foreign countries. UBF is also a church to me, because I go there every Sunday to worship God.

I feel that there is a strong traiditionism in UBF. Not in every UBF, but in some UBFs many traditions are emphasized like writing and sharing testimonies on Fridays, having one-to-one Bible studies, going fishing (which means you go out to campus to ask students to study the Bible or to ask them to come to one of the church meetings/worship services), and if one is musician, which I consider myslef to be one, practicing/playing in an orchestra to prepare music for the Sunday worship services and some special events. I think that all these are very good things to do. When they are done in the right spirit before God, they can allow one to grow more spiritually. But when people become so focused on the actual traidtion and not on God problems arise. When people are concerned with the number of their sheep (refer to bible students), the number of the people they invite to the worship services, and etc., they forget the true meaning of worshipping God and obeying His words.

I truly admire UBF missionaries/shepherds because many of them work ardously to participate in God's salvation work. I am glad that I am involved in UBF and to even have some people whom I can study the Bible with. But I see that some times people in UBF are so close-minded, and they do not learn from other Christians. Some people are so used to UBF traditions that they forget why one wouldn't want to write testimonies each week. Some people have never gone to other Christian meetings, like the Navigator and Campus Crusade for Christ, and they only know what it is like to be in UBF.

I have never met Dr. Samuel Lee personally. But I do know that he was used by God to establish UBF, and he did a great work in God because UBF has become one of God's instruments to preach the Gospel. It was through UBF missionaries that I have come to know Christ personally, so I am grateful for UBF. However, when I see people who think of Dr. Samuel Lee as God's servant whom they should ALWAYS obey (just because he is God's servant), I wonder whether they are putting God first or a human being first. It's not that I am against obeying church leaders. Of course, I should obey God's servants, because that's the right spirit before God. However, when the servant has done something wrong, when the servant has brought down people's spiritual lives because of his/her own actions/thoughts/words (which do not come from God, but from the human nature), people should be able to discern whether the servant is really doing what God inteded him/her to do. There must have been a reason why so many people left UBF. And I personally don't think that those people left UBF just to rebel against God's servants. But some people think that the people who left UBF were being rebellious to God's servant, Dr. Samuel Lee, and that they weren't following God. (I strongly disagree with this kind of opinions.) If people think that objecting to Dr. Lee's certain behaviours, which did not come from God's own but from human calculations and expectations, is wrong thing to do, that's okay with me. But if they are so blinded to the extent that they can't see ANYTHING wrong in a human being, I think that that's a problem.

It seems like I am being so against UBF, but I am not trying to do that. Then why do I say all these bad things about UBF? well, I didn't say bad things about UBF, but I said some things about the people who seem to be close-minded. UBF is a good place to be, but some people who claim that they want to live by faith and yet have human calculations, seem to cause many others ( who need spiritual help) to turn away from God and from His people.

A friend of mine has told me that UBF is a cult. He/she has been in UBF for a long time, but apparently his/her family were hurt a lot because of UBF. I don't know the details, but it probably has to do with a UBF's director, because that's usually where the problem comes from. When a church leader forgets to fix his/her eyes on Jesus, he/she begins to act like a dictator, thus scarring many people's heart. My friend was mad at him/her when I was telling him/her that maybe he/she shouldn't generalize so much and that he/she should let go of the hatred which he/she has toward UBF. But I have to admit that I had no right telling him/her things like that. I have never been in a situation where I was so hurt to the extent that I wanted to leave UBF. My family isn't in UBF, so I haven't experienced my whole family being the victim of the "dictatorship." But I see that some people in UBF lack shepherd heart for people around them. Instead of trying to understand, some UBF people tend to make their "sheep" feel guilty by asking them "why can't you come?" Asking part is okay, but if they do not desire to UNDERSTAND the reason for not coming to worship services or to Friday meetings or to Bible studies, how can the "sheep" actually tell them the reason without feeling guilty?? I actually think that they don't even have to ask "why" because they do not really need to know the reason. Don't they believe that God knows why their "sheep" is not coming to the services/bible studies? If they have that faith, they might as well just pray for the "sheep" so that God may move the "sheep"'s hearts to come to the worship services/Bible studies. Trying to know everything about one's life is sometimes too burndening. I feel like some people in UBF try to dictate one's life instead of trying to let God control. Having expectations from the "sheep" is okay, but I wish that they didn't push their own thoughts so much on their "sheep." They might think that certain things are the best for their "sheep," but sometimes what they think of the best isn't always the best for the "sheep."

ok.. I guess I had lot to say today..God knows my heart, and I pray that I may always be willing to change myself/my attitude when God wants me to.. so that I may be more understanding and discerning rather than being more critical and close-minded. God can work in so many different ways, and if my heart/mind is closed, I cannot see the work of God in other people's lives. Lord, give me a humble heart, and Lord, give me the strength bear all the things you have entrusted to me. thank you!:)
Posted 11/23/2003 9:16 AM

An ex-member (mostly likely former Chicago UBF)

2008-03-21T13:55:00.000-07:00

(Originally posted on the reformubf.org discussion forum.)

Posted by An ex-member (206.135.217.163) on February 26, 2001 at 16:59:26:

UBF was a place were I came to know Christ through the wonderful one to one Bible study, with a buddy I went to high school with. I really loved the study of Genesis and the Study of John's Gospel. I made a decision to go to College and serve as a bible teacher to the students. God blessed my life in college and after the summer retreat and making a decision to go to school, a full tuition was in the mail. I was so focused on GOD & JESUS not on man that he protected me and blessed my ministry. I was outspoken during the meetings and believe that created some jealousy even with leaders, but I was walking with Christ and happy. My first 7 years in UBF were blessed years, years of growth and fellowship. I stayed in this ministry for 13 years total; the last 6 were hard and dry due to the fact that I did not follow the beat of the leader's drum after graduation. It was the only time I had to deal with the leader and the unthoughtful words and actions that came out of his mouth. But like I said before...God Protected me from the garbage and helped me to stay focused on Him. I felt that I was stuck in this place until I started attending another church. I realize how small a view of Christianity I had in UBF. God is SO, SO much bigger and better. Unfortunately, any organization that puts others down, and says they're the only one and the only way, and if you leave you're doomed...this is a danger sign and a sign of a cult. UBF began at the Clark Street Center as a nice humble place. There were so many good people with giving hearts in this ministry that wanted to serve God. I have heard many heartbreaking stories of lives crushed by the words and actions of Mr. Lee and his followers. God used me to encourage them to move on. There is Life after UBF. And God will use what we learned there. I dare not call Mr. Lee a Reverend, Pastor or Shepherd. The proper name for such a power hungry man with wrong motives in using and abusing authority is a A SPIRITUAL DICTATOR. That's exactly what Mr. Lee has turned out to be. He can live in denial all he wants, but we know better. Through his desire & hunger for power he has divided good honest believers, especially from his own country, and many have suffered under his authority even to death. THIS MAN WILL BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE BEFORE GOD ALMIGHTY. Where is his fear of God to continue like this? As for the woman who partnered with him, Sarah Barry, she was a very sweet lady once upon a time, when I knew her. She has allowed the abuse and unBiblical ways of treating those under the leadership in UBF (Chicago) although she was raised in the South with a strong biblical background and worked with the navigators. She too will be held accountable to GOD for not opening her mouth and putting Mr. Lee in his place, though she has every right being an equal partner. Read the Scriptures, open your Bible, It says that those in leadership positions will be judged with strictness because they are to oversee God's flock, not lord it over them. A Reformed UBF must remove MAN rrom the throne and put JESUS back up on the throne. In conclusion, The Scriptures have been taught in UBF, granted, but not followed. UBF leaders have interpreted the Scriptures their way, and want people to live their way, not GOD's way. Jesus says he came to set the captives FREE. UBF has put many emotional and physical burdens on people and called it TRAINING. God has ways of training and maturing us through our jobs and relationships and service through natural experiences in life. Mr. Lee and his devoted followers in UBF try to play GOD and train people. The church of JESUS should be a place of refreshment, encouragement, joy, fellowship and growth to support believers living for Christ, not a place of lording it over the flock and placing heavy loads on the flock. Jesus said WOE to the Pharisees who placed heavy burdens on the flock. To those of you who feel stuck, you're not. There is life outside of this UBF.

God does not want you living in BONDAGE. He comes to set you FREE. There are many good churches in our country. I have been attending one for 7 years now and have served there, I have good quality friendships, and the Lord has taught me so much. Be bold. Move On. Do not be afraid. Ask God for strength. You're not stuck. You're not bound. I have NO bitterness about UBF. I thank God for what I have learned there. I was grounded in his word. When I council people who have come out of there, I encourage them to move on and take the positive and let God heal them of the bitterness. Of course, not all stories are the same; some are more painful then others. But I write this to make a statement, that God will judge those who MISUSE his authority. If I were Mr. Lee, I would be trembling before God. But does he even fear God? Dictatorship knows no GOD but SELF.

UBF Hamster

2008-03-20T15:40:00.000-07:00

(Originally posted on the old RSQUBF discussion forum.)

I remember when I was first love-bombed in UBF. People always wanted to feed me, encourage me, tell me how handsome I looked, and how SPIRITUAL I was. The love bombing stage is the best time to be in UBF because there is the least responsibility and it is the most fun time. After the love-bombing stage, there is the stage of assimilation. This is where you are homogenized by common life or continual fellowship with other UBFers. You learn to write testimony by script, attend all the meetings, how to dress right, talk right, (learn to call people "missionary," "shepherd," and "shepherdess." This stage is still tolerable because God's word is still fresh and new and of course you do still receive some love bombing. The last stage, is the stage of "burnout." After 7 to 10 years, after you are married, and have a wife, a family, and a job to be concerned with, you realize that you are nothing more than an automaton, a cog in the UBF machinery that must keep turning with its never ending cycle of meetings, conferences, and drills. It is the period where you feel like you are a hamster on one of those spinning wheels that just keeps running around, trapped with no where else to go but can only just sit there spinning around. By this time your own shepherds and shepherdess are either more burnt out or have long since gone, so there is no one left to give you an occassional love bomb. I guess when you realize that the only thing you can do is to keep running on your wheel or leave, then you make the decision at this point to do it. I found an online journal of a young UBF member. You can read it yourself and gradually trace the stages of his "growth." Wish I could highlight the love bombing contained in all the passages. Here it is: http://www.livingtorah.org/~pchan/journal.phtml

UBF Hamster

USA - Tuesday, February 19, 2002 at 06:04:17 (EST)

sergey_w_love (former Ohio UBF?)

2008-02-29T15:19:00.000-08:00

(Based on blog posts in 2004, sergey_w_love may have finally found the motivation needed to leave an Ohio chapter of UBF to which he had apparently been psychologically bound and through which he had been psychologically and spirtually abused. The following is a comment by sergey_w_love at another UBF member's blog.)

... hey, thank you for your logg, ... I am agree with you, ... frankly speaking, I myself had bad experiences in UBF, and I left UBF, ... but I came back, ... knowing that no matter how bad some people may be, ... and no matter how abbusive UBF may be, there is a lot of good people, people who maybe don't know much about bad things that happend to some members, who live in faith, happy, and who willing to share their joy with others ...

it is very easier for me to be in UBF after everything I went through, ... even to the point of commiting suicide because of the guilt that was planted in me by the leaders, ... (to prevent confusion, I am always was open to commit suicide, not that UBF lead people to do it) But it is not that easy for people who know nothing about spiritual abuse.

And the thing is that even when a lot of people knows all that, they cannot do anything, ... in fact there is so many of them who tryes, but there is no results, ... just everyone who try to change any bad thing, he/she occused to go against God [accused of opposing God for suggesting changes in UBF], and in one word just kicked out from UBF.

I was told so many times to leave UBF, because of my open mind, and free thinking, ... but I do know one thing, ... that there is a purpose for me to be here, considering all things that led me here. And how someone can say go away, when he/she did not brought me in, ... they have no spiritual right to do so, ... and second UBF is campus organization, it is not a sacred place, it is open for anyone, ... and if they will restrict some ppeople to come, then they may have some problems, being a student organization, after all the information about UBF that gathered around the world, ... after all viktimes [victims], (and I am sure everyone of them will testify about their experiences) ... the problems may come to the end, ... new court opinions will come out, and all who fight against spiritual abuse, will make a big step forward, ... and even after all imunity that churches in america have, ... there is many churches that were brought to court of law, ...

---
Article XIII.

Section 1. Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.

Section 2. Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.
----

After all bad things that I said about UBF ( and I am not ashamed to say it) ... I am in UBF, I know my purpose here, and I am very happy to be here, because I chooss to, considering everything I know ...

Patrick C. (former California UBF)

2008-01-31T08:51:00.000-08:00

(from http://merbc.invigorated.org/archives/2006/10/30/gospel-driven-sanctification/)

Check out Jerry Bridges’s article, “Gospel-Driven Sanctification.”

I’d particularly recommend reading this article if you’re suffering from the fallout of years spent slaving away in a false, works-righteousness centered “ministry” like the University Bible Fellowship.

Speaking of UBF. At first glance, whether your acquaintance began with their website or in person (e.g. perhaps you were “fished” on campus? Or invited to a Bible conference?), UBF appears to be an evangelical organization. But looks can be deceiving. At best (if, for instance, your shepherd or shepherdess is a true Christian seeking to help you) you’re in for some guilt-trips over your poor performance. “How many times have you fished today?” “How many Bible studies are you doing?” “Don’t you want to live in common life?” And so on. Or worse, you’ll possibly end up in a long-term, co-dependent affair with a jealous lover who’ll never leave you alone. Things could even get worse than this, but I’ll save that for another time. Flee from UBF and embrace Christ!

Andrei S. (former Kiev UBF)

2008-01-31T08:48:00.000-08:00

(Translated from Russian. Posted at http://community.livejournal.com/rsqubf/131017.html?thread=653001#t653001.)

TESTIMONY by Andrey S. (ex Kiev UBF)

Yesterday several brothers and I were virtually expelled from the church [Kiev UBF]. I think it is difficult to misinterpret the pronouncements of our pastor [Peter Kim, the Kiev UBF director, he is not really a pastor], since he repeated them about 20 times: “Such people should leave”, “It is better for you not to come anymore”, “Change yourself, we will continue in the same way as we have always done”. That whole story did not begin yesterday, such stories repeated in UBF time and again for more than 40 years.

I have not been an accidental person in UBF and I have not been a “rebel”. I attended UBF for almost 11 years and did everything I was demanded to do. Often I felt that something was wrong but could not understand the exact problem. I was a witness of many weird acts: punishments for coming too late [to UBF meetings], running around the campus shouting slogans, revilements and humiliations for hours of people who brought too small an offering or just had a sad face, permanent atmosphere of fear of the pastor [the Kiev UBF Director], compulsion of sick persons to leave their beds to attend insignificant and unwholesome UBF meetings that often were dedicated to humiliations of somebody else, and many other things. I endured those things, believing they were accidental mistakes, for who does not make mistakes?

But one day I discovered that they are not accidental mistakes of a specific man, but fruits of a system. I found out horrible facts about forced abortions (in Chicago and Korea), destruction of families and violation of the personality of members. All these things are called “disciple training” in UBF. I am sad that the understanding of these words depreciated to such a level. When I found out all these things, my eyes were opened and I decided that it was impossible, sinful and irresponsibly before God to cowardly keep silent. I went to the pastor and talked to him that the church had to go through repentance for these detestable things. Two days before (as if they had a presentiment) I had been dismissed from Sunday messages, and the group, where I was the leader, was broken up (of course only in part, the Korean missionaries left my group, but my Bible students remained). The talk [with the director Peter Kim] was difficult, I had a feeling of pain and suffering, and I was named a “person with an evil spirit”. Nevertheless I did not leave, but continued to talk personally with the pastor, and later several other brothers also talked with him, and finally I publicly shared my testimony. It was a difficult time, but I decided to endure it and stay, in the hope that everything will change. This whole story lasted 8 months. I did not behave insolently or forwardly, I tried to talk decently and with dignity.

Since about a month I was not talking with anybody about the issue. But yesterday the pastor himself put an end to it. It started with one sister delivering a message on 1Tim 2:8-15 (the brothers were not allowed to deliver messages because they sort of fell into disgrace in the eyes of the pastor). Please read this passage carefully [as it contains the words “I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent.”]. In her message the sister said “I thank the brothers for leaving the sisters the spiritual privilege of delivering messages”. At the end of the meeting, the pastor reminded everybody of that phrase, adding that the brothers did not simply leave that privilege to the sisters, but that they lost that privilege, calling them “rubbish.” Then one of the brothers stood up, said “You are telling a lie!”, and went out. This brother was responsible for the construction of the new church building, which was a very big work and responsibility (of course without getting any compensation for that). He then was immediately dismissed from his position and a new person was appointed [when the building was almost finished]. After that the words “such people should better leave” were used, particularly referring to three persons: my friend, the brother who already went out, and me.

I do not regret anything and I thank the Lord. The Lord was leading me and helped me not to be a fearful person. The Lord taught me an omni-important lesson: There is no place for exaltation of one above the other in any Christian community, as Jesus taught in Mk 10 and Mt 23. The violation of even the smaller commands of Jesus leads to bad consequences. I had experienced that on my own back.

What next? I want to open a home ministry, something like www.simplechurch.com.ua. It is important to communicate with Christians. They will have a conference in two days. I want to better understand how to walk my life and minister in the future.

Andrei S. (ex Kiev UBF)

Charles (former New York (?) UBF)

2008-01-25T09:46:00.000-08:00

(Reports and impressions from the 2001 UBF international conference, posted at voy.com/60734/. See also the full thread.)

Date Posted: 12:22:06 04/10/02 Wed
Author: PC
Subject: response to concerned
In reply to: Concerned 's message, "Hey pc......" on 12:22:06 04/10/02 Wed

Dear Concerned,
This message board seems pretty intense! The things mentioned by others like people claiming to be God etc. really had no effect on me. I had never heard such accusations before and quite frankly it seems that statement was probably taken out of context, unless that guy is a total nut case which I suppose is possible.
anyway, There were so many very serious problems at ISU.

But let me first mention those things which were not so serious.
First there was so much time wasted on things that were non-spiritual and not beneficial. What does Korean Dancing have to do with Jesus? Also it was interesting to note how so much time and money was put into producing an extremely impressive dance and music programs (although it seems Africa was neglected in this regard) It really seemed like a waste. What does Beethoven have to do with praising God? I don't really understand that. One could say that this is all for the purpose of praising God but then why not chose some sacred music by Bach, Vivaldi, Handel, Beethoven or one of the many other great composers who wrote music for God. I don't know, it just doesn't seem right to focus on entertainment and call it worship. I think that is a real deception.

Another thing, that was apparent right off the bat, and which was a bit more serious, was the so-called "Asian Despot" mentality which was plainly in operation. Samuel Lee was really acting like an "Asian Despot." I am not talking about what he was saying but what he was doing during the whole conference. He sat in the back most of the time like an overseer. On each side sat (what appeared to be) a lackey. He would constantly start speaking to these people seemingly making comments on what was being done or said or on the lighting or on the position of the speaker in relation to the podium. He was not paying attention to what was being said. In short he was not listening for the voice of God in what was being done or said but he was overseeing everything and giving his approval or disapproval. That is at least what it looked like to me. Also, getting up and asking a person to move over a few inches so he can be in the middle of the podium or whatever, is very distracting and takes away from the "message." All these kind of activities draw attention away from the speaker that everyone is supposed to be listening to.

I am quite familiar with the this type of mentality. It immediately turned me off toward Samuel Lee. It seemed he wanted everyone to know who was in charge.

These things I know, could be to some extent explained away. However, there were many other things that were much more serious that can't be explained or excused.

The so-called messages were all delivered in the same style by different people. This to me made it seem that the individuals who delivered the messages were not the ones who wrote them. I have no evidence of this besides my gut feeling but that is what it seemed like. I suppose in an organization like UBF where everyone is encouraged to speak in the same way and use the same strange terminology it is possible that this impression was not reality. (on this topic, another thing. Why do American people who have been raised in America and who speak English as their first language speak with a Korean accent. It sounds very strange! It seems that there is even an appropriate way to say the name "Jesus" with a higher tone on the first syllable and lower on the second. This is very strange!)

Another thing, because all the messages (except samuel lee's) were read. They sounded rehearsed and insincere. It seemed that the message was a childish performance with various silly hand gestures thrown in. (after which everyone would laugh, even if they were not at all funny) Ministers of the Gospel should be delivering messages with conviction, and those messages should be prepared by themselves.

Getting more serious...
Many things that were said in the messages were gross exaggerations or actually completely untruthful! This was perhaps the biggest problem for me. When people talked about the "wilderness training" of the Israelites and the "woman at the well" story, there was so much nonsense in the message. Of course the original story was reviewed and actually read aloud, but then there were many details added that were plainly NOT IN THE BIBLE! I understand that sometimes ministers will overemphasize a point in order to bring across an important message and I believe that this can some times be useful. However, during these messages the speaker would first start with the text and then he would add facts to the text and then he would create a teaching based on a combination of the actual text, his added facts and a very strange interpretation of the gospel message (maybe a UBF interpretation). As a result, these wonderful texts were twisted to present a message that was clearly not in the original passage.
If I had a copy of the message here I could give you specific examples. Unfortunately I do not.
So that is the first problem, obvious misinterpretation of the Bible. Needless to say that is extremely dangerous!

Second, the outright lies that were told from the pulpit were unbelievable. If you know anything at all about Christian history and if you were paying attention you could hear so many LIES! Most of this came from Samuel Lee. I could give you a list of lies but I will just give a few.
1.Misinterpretation of the term "House-church"
2.stating that many famous christian leaders were "self supporting missionaries" (i.e., billy graham, martin luther)
and there were several others.

These were outright lies and the most frustrating thing was that no one corrected him!

However the thing that got under my skin the most about his talk was the unbelievable statement (I can't remember it exactly now but it was something like) "The hope for America is World missions!" (or self supporting world mission or something.)
This is total nonsense! The hope of America should be Jesus Christ and nothing else.

well there are many other things that I could say but this covers the basics of what bothered me.
FALSE TEACHING is what it boils down to. There is no way around that. Either you admit it or you are lying!

Now if these problems had been addressed after ISU or if some one had made a public apology for the false teachings. I might have felt better, but instead everyone went on to say what a wonderful conference it was and how everyone was more filled with the grace of Jesus. I was very upset. UBF had betrayed God before my eyes. I have also betrayed God in the past, but should I expect to be forgiven if I don't try to right the wrongs?

there is your answer.
-PC

>pc,
>
>What was it about the ISU conference that made you
>question UBF? I was there and heard many messages,
>World Mission Testimonies, and dances, etc... .
>Nothing seemed odd, or out of the ordinary that would
>set off sirens.

Date Posted: 14:21:53 04/11/02 Thu
Author: -pc
Subject: some more remarks on ISU
In reply to: UBF Shepherd 's message, "Re: response to concerned" on 14:21:53 04/11/02 Thu

Chris thanks for the link to the message page.

http://chicago.ubf.org/ISU01/messages.html

It was interesting to see how some of the messages, although they had similar titles and themes, were completely different then the ones given at the conference. Quite deceptive.
However this quote I remember:

"Go, call your husband!" Humanly speaking, this was interference with her private life. However, Jesus did not mind violating her human rights to talk about her sin problem in order to heal her sin-sick soul. Her real problem appeared to be a husband problem or marriage problem as common people think. But it was a sin problem. Her cursed woman's desire controlled her and drove her until she became a helpless Samaritan woman. As a result, even if she had married five times, she would remain with a severe marriage problem. In proportion to her gravity of sin, her cursed desire might have tormented her without ceasing (Ge 3:16).

Wow, you just gave "sound" justification for violating people's human rights anyway you want, totally misinterpreted the Bible, insulted the institution of marriage and women in general, and all that without any real useful point in the entire paragraph! Amazing!

"She said, "Sir, I can see that you are a prophet" (19). Right after that, she asked him first about where to worship (20). Why did she suddenly talk about worship? She had gone too far to talk about worshiping God. Another reason might be that Jews and Samaritans had a different idea about the place of worship. Anyway she did not hesitate to talk about the worship problem. It was because she was still a human being created in the image of God. Her life was still shining like stars in the sky."

Does anyone have any idea what that means? There is no logical progression of thought. I don't know maybe it is a "cursed Korean-English problem" :).

and then there are just so many little problems that the overall message has the ring of foolishness

By the same token, we must know that corrupted men and wayward women are seeking (No one seeks God unless God draws them and we are all sinners just like this woman. He should really say wayward women (and men) are "longing for God" or "feel their need of God.") God earnestly in their hearts like the Samaritan woman (was she seeking God? There is no evidence of that in the Bible). We love Jesus who seeks the Samaritan woman (what in the world does this have to do with the rest of the paragraph? Again, there is just no logical thought progression. At best this is just bad writing.

another example of the lack of logical thought progression:

When Jesus said, "God is spirit," he meant that God is not flesh; but God is spirit. He is not confined to the limitations of the flesh.(good so far) He is the eternal and infinite God. Therefore, God can be our Everlasting Father. We will enjoy eternal life in the kingdom of God when our earthly tent is destroyed (over all the point is OK but the progression is confusing and vague. There is not a+b=c or some other structure of thought to help us understand why these things are being said.

Another thing about this particular message is that is quite degrading to women. It seems that women are only relegated to certain roles.
For example:
God is especially seeking lost Samaritan women in the hope of raising them as mothers of prayer.
This is a bit subtle (although quite obvious). Why not say women of prayer, or prayer warriors, or great missionaries. Why must it be "Mother." In this story we don't have any evidence that this woman had children so that can't be the reason. It seems that "mother of prayer" is just another UBF term. Another point on this. I think many groups should give more room to woman who choose not to be married. THere is nothing wrong with this indeed it is encouraged in the Bible.

Another thing is the attack on the institution of marriage.
Marriage Problem
Husband Problem
and Cursed Desire Problem
are terms that are used in this text to some how imply that it is wrong to desire to find joy in marriage. That is just so wrong. In addition, "cursed desire problem" must be referring to Genesis 3:16(?). Lets be honest if the desire for a mate is a "cursed desire problem" then men have it just as well as women and let me tell you from most of the men I know they have it much worse than women. To say that the desire for marriage (in God's will) is a curse... WOW, shame on you people!

Here is another winner from the conference and then I will stop (there just isn't anything going on in the office today)

Why did God give them wilderness training? It was to lay the foundation of world salvation work. After wilderness training, God led them to the promised land. According to God's plan, his people had to be a kingdom of priests and a holy nation. They had to be shepherds and shepherdesses to plant the knowledge of God in the hearts of pagan people in the promised land.(This is not biblical, not even close) But they could not maintain God's blessing. When they began to enjoy little comforts and little conveniences of civilized Canaan and they began to enjoy flowing milk and honey, they gradually melted into the easygoing life of the Canaanites(what do you call easy going little comforts? what like idolatry or immorality or what? How can you say to enjoy one's self is wrong using this example as proof? Is that why God punished his people?). As a result, they abandoned God and their holy mission.

Well these are just a few of the less problematic things that were said at the conference. It seems that the bad stuff will be hidden away because it would just be to embarrassing to put on a website.

Thanks again to Amy for taking the time to talk to me. May God bless you and your family!

Jacque

2008-01-15T13:09:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted at voy.com/63135/.)

Date Posted: 16:53:59 01/09/02 Wed
Author: Jacque
Subject: UBF Alumni

Someone compared UBF to a revolving door for Americans. I agree with this from personal experience, and sometimes I catch myself wondering just how many people have passed through that door. Why did so many leave? Why did so many stick around for years only to go? Yet for many the time in UBF is something they want to forget. Very few return back to visit their alma matter. In 20 years I can only recall it happening twice. For most who leave it seems to bring a wince of pain in their eyes when you mention it as if the rememberance of a bad dream.

There is undoubtedly a large number of UBF alumni out there. They have similar stories and experiences of the joy of learning the Gospel for the first time, growing in a personal love relationship with Christ and serving him together with other believers and also the realization that something was deeply disturbing.

I couldn't guess how many thousands are out there. Compared to the rest of Christendom, it is certainly negligible, but they all have their own stories.

I like to think that most end up in good churches and become leaders, Bible teachers, and prayer warriors tempered and tried by their experiences in UBF.

I don't know. I know that I am really old and yet there was a whole American generation that disappeared before me. It kind of reminds me of working at McDonalds. The product is mediocre but consistent, the remuneration lousy, the turnover of help is incredibly high, and yet millions are served.

Sorry, I was becoming cynical again. Perhaps it is better people don't stick around. I think being in UBF is something everyone ought to do. It really gives you a perspective and an appreciation for the other ministries out there. Sorry.

Anyway, all you UBF alumni. Don't try to deny it. Write in and tell us your experiences. I want to hear about the experiences from the 70s.

I said enough. Bye.

ex-UBFSoul (former New York UBF)

2008-01-15T12:59:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted at voy.com/60734/.)

Date Posted: 21:40:08 09/19/03 Fri
Author: ex-UBFSoul
Subject: UBF Mind Control
In reply to: Chris 's message, "Mind Control" on 11:49:23 09/19/03 Fri

Hi Chris,

When I was UBFSoul and in UBF I didn’t realize that I was being subjected to mind control techniques and I don’t think UBF members know that they are employing these techniques. At some point it struck me that the main objective of UBF is not to teach college students the Bible. UBF’s objective is to form more house churches. That’s what they pray for. They pray for 10,000 house churches. They say, “a kingdom of priests and a holy nation” but they mean a kingdom of house churches.

UBF is not an organization comprised of members; it’s an organization of house churches. Like all organizations, it wants to expand. They can’t ask college students, “Do you want to be a part of a house church?” Students would never accept. Therefore they have to hide their agenda and slowly alter the student’s perspective using subtle mind control techniques.

The UBF agenda starts with Bible study and ends with “marriage by faith.” In between they employ increasingly aggressive mind control techniques. Almost everyone in UBF has experienced this series of techniques:

Deception: (year 1) They will invite you to what appears to be a harmless Bible study. The deception is that the UBF Bible study invitation is really in an invitation to a UBF controlled life and an arranged marriage to another UBF member. They don’t fully disclose their “plans” for your life. UBF uses the Bible as a means of coercing naïve young college students into the Confucian-Christian UBF lifestyle.

Love Bombing: (year 1) They will flatter and feed you. Their lives revolve around recruiting more UBF members so they will do their best to make you feel welcomed and indebted. They will invite you to their homes, feed you, flatter you and treat you like a king. Your apprehensions and suspicions about the group disappear because these people seem like the kindest and most generous people you’ve ever met in your life. What you don’t realize is that they are so happy to see you because they are under a lot pressure to recruit more members and produce numbers.

Public Confession: (year 1-2) They will ask you to write and share testimonies with the group. The first half of the testimony is a summary of the passage and the second half is an “application.” The application is really a confession of how you failed as a Christian. Communist regimes also use the same technique. Those who hear the confession feel guilt because they are guilty of the same crimes.

Not only will you confess and feel guilt, but you will experience ten to twenty times more guilt as you hear many others confessing the same laziness in UBF activities, the same sin of not going “fishing” enough, the same sin of not writing enough testimony, and the same sin of desiring sleep, rest, or free time. You will even see people crying about it, which will really make you feel even more guilt. You will feel tired and sleep deprived during these meetings as you experience wave after wave of indoctrination that will seep into your subconscious.

Time Control: (year 1-2) They will ask you to join the orchestra, singing group, become a presider, become fellowship leader, or any number of activities. I notice that they ask you to join the orchestra or some singing group even when you can’t sing or play an instrument. You begin to realize that you are visiting the local UBF center almost every day. You don’t have any time to spare for non-UBF friends or family.

Relationship Control: (year 2-3) They will ask you to move in with another UBF member. This is known as “common life.” The point is to totally immerse you in the Confucian-Christian UBF lifestyle. The natural power of peer pressure then begins to take effect. It’s natural for people to want to conform to the behavior of the group. Once you live with a UBF member and all your time is devoted to UBF activities your personality will inevitably change whether you like it or not. They will convince you that dating is sinful and you will begin to feel lonely and desperate.

Marriage Control: (year 3-5) They will ask you to agree to marry. They don’t tell you who, they just wait for you to become sufficiently desperate after years of Relationship Control that you are willing to marry almost anyone. If you refuse their proposal, they will starve you for another year or two and then apply even more pressure. Eventually, you surrender and agree to marry unconditionally on their terms. You will think it was your decision and choice, but actually you were controlled and you had no choice. Ideally, they want you to marry a stranger so as to minimize the possibility of love.

Total Control: (the rest of your life) Once you are trapped in a loveless arranged marriage, you are completely trapped. Your involvement with the group is the only thing that justifies your marriage. The endless time consuming UBF activities allow you and your spouse to essentially lead separate lives and keep your minds off the fact that your marriage is loveless. You will repent of your sinful desire for love and companionship and rededicate yourself to UBF activities. All your friends, your entire social network, is in UBF. Once you have “married by faith” you have proven to them that they control your entire life. There is nothing they cannot ask you to do. The cycle is complete when you find that you are a fifty-year-old hanging around college campuses deceptively inviting some young naïve college students into the same trap you fell into.

Their mind control techniques failed to work on me because I continually refused to join orchestra or singing groups and I refused “common living.” Because of this thier attempts to coerce me into “marriage by faith” failed.

Don’t Fall For the Trap,
ex-UBFSoul

Jan (former Chicago UBF)

2008-01-15T12:17:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted at voy.com/60734/.)

Date Posted: 15:09:21 09/19/03 Fri
Author: Jan
Subject: Re: Mind Control
In reply to: Chris 's message, "Mind Control" on 11:49:23 09/19/03 Fri

This did not happen to me but was a problem that I saw many times. Ironically, I thought I was the strong one for remaining and being obedient but it was the reverse. Have you noticed that no UBF member is a lawyer. That is how it was in Chicago, maybe different in other chapter, if so let me know. No lawyers in Chicago UBF because Samuel Lee liked to tell people what they should major in and advise them away from law school because you were going to become a liar. Law school was seeing as a training in lying. One girl I became friends with was intent on going to law school would share it in her testimony every week. Because she was new and a white girl (HNW) [HNW is a UBFism meaning a white female], she was not told right away that in UBF you go to medical school or nursing or engineering but not Law school. I felt sorry for her, thinking one day she will be counseled and told to give it up to Jesus. And she will have to give up her dream that she expressed so wonderfully when giving her testimony. Of course she ran away ["ran away" is how UBF members describe the act of leaving UBF without saying goodbye--a common occurrence]. I thought I was the strong one who remained and obeyed the servants of God. But I was the mind controlled one, not the strong one, ready to give up my hopes and dreams.

exNYubfer (former New York UBF)

2008-01-15T12:15:00.001-08:00

(Originally posted at voy.com/60734/.)

Date Posted: 21:56:12 09/29/03 Mon
Author: exNYubfer
Subject: Re: Mind Control
In reply to: Chris 's message, "Mind Control" on 11:49:23 09/19/03 Fri

I agree wholeheartedly with ex-ubfsoul and all of you. I went through very similar tactics in UBF as well. Oh how I want to encourage those who are out...GOD IS LOVEEEE!!!! God wants you to be IN LOVE with Him. God is IN LOVE with you!!! There is FREEDOM in Christ Jesus. Praise the Lord for saving us from the chains of UBF.

I pray that the one UBFer who is reading this right now will realize that he/she is committing idolatry before the God of the Bible because the UBF god is NOT the Almighty God! The God of the Bible is full of love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness and self-control bc that IS the fruit of the Holy Spirit. The God of the Bible is holy and just and convicts us of our sin and leads us to repentance. He NEVER inflicts us with this gnawing guilt that never goes away. That is the work of the devil. The Devil is the accuser, the liar the one who wants you to always feel that you fall short of the glory of God. But we are REDEEMED through the blood of Christ! There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus!

PRAISE GOD! I love you Jesus. I praise Your HOLY Name. I give thanks to You for always answering our prayers and always being slow to anger and abounding in love. I praise you for giving us this inexpressible peace and FREEDOM from sin. Dear God I lift up to You right now all those who are still ensnared in the UBF cult. Lord Jesus TOUCH their hearts. Let them realize that they are not worshipping YOU. They are worshipping an idol. Father I pray that you lead these people out so that they may know who You truly are. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

Maria

2008-01-14T14:32:00.000-08:00

(Posted on the old RsqUBF bulletin board, 2/2001)

Author: maria

Subject: relief and closure

I just found this site this morning, and my first reaction was a sense of relief and some closure. It seems to me that, in addition to myself, there have been a number of people who have been hurt by UBF. I studied with a missionary for three years at UBF and sometime would like to share my story. But right now, what I would like to say, from reading some of the posted messages, is that this site could do a lot of good - if it is not turned into a place to argue. For those who are still actively involved in UBF, and are happy, please understand that those of us who are raising objections about UBF once were where you are. I remember the days I first started studying at UBF - I also remember the constant 'rebuking', the manipulations, the imposed feelings of guilt and inadequacy.

2/12/2001

Friend of Penn State UBF recruit

2008-01-08T12:34:00.000-08:00

(Posted at http://www.xanga.com/DulosTheo.)

Date: Sun, 6 Feb 2005 15:55:46 -0800 (PST)
From:
Subject: UBF Concerns
To:

Dear :

I am a Penn State U. student and I am a part of an excellent Bible-based group.

My friend P., however was a member of our group, but all the long was a member of another group. Last Saturday, I found out that P.'s other group was the UBF. P. boldly declared one day that he doesn't want to be in our group, and didn't give a real reason. I always thought that it was strange how P. referred to his group as a mostly Korean group. ... When I was told by another friend that the UBF is borderline cultish, I did some research on it. My research brought me to your website. I read every testimony and it is eerily similar to what P. describes to me.

Here is the list of startling facts:

P. spends a lot of time with his one-on-one teacher, J. P. lives in my building and he told me that he spends 8 hours in J.'s office on Saturday's. He also goes out with J. at least twice a week. Everything is always him and J. He is getting out of touch with his other friends.

J. is married and I asked P., "doesn't J. need time with his wife instead of young college men?" P. told me, "J. loves his wife and all, but he is a busy man."

P. said that one-on-one Bible study is intense and he gets frustrated sometimes but J. helps him through it. P. said that J. is his accountability partner. P. says that J. is his "guidance counselor." He said that J. is a good "Shepard" and he is his "sheep".

We all are at Penn State University, and the UBF here is NOT an official group!

P. is very depressed and keeps saying that he's unattractive and not meant to be married. He said that sometimes God doesn't want us to marry.

P. just yesterday went to J.'s house and told me that he'd be back at nine so we can hang out and do homework. P. didn't get back until 2PM TODAY! He says that he stayed over J.'s and slept on his couch and then woke up for a one-on-one study.

I wanted to investigate this whole thing more and so I suggested that I sit in on one of their one-on-ones and P. quickly said, no. He said that "J. doesn't like any distractions." So I thought that I could infiltrate their group to investigate what I read on-line, and I proposed that I join the UBF. I thought that they would be happy to have me, but they don't want me. P said, "no offensive but J. doesn't want to talk to you. He is too busy."

...

P. refused to miss a week of one-on-one. When I suggested to him to miss a week to catch up on sleep, P. said, "there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus, but God does chastise His children."

P. thinks that it's God will for him to stay in the UBF and he and J. refuse to let me in the group, or to come between them.

Date: Fri, 18 Feb 2005 05:49:46 -0800 (PST)
From:
Subject: Partial Good News with UBF
To:

I told P. about two weeks ago what the UBF was up to. P. was angry and didn't believe it, but then later he told me that it seems as though he's being forced to be "presider" at UBF Church services. This is a job that P. is neither interested in, nor has the time for.

Frank M. (former Baltimore UBF)

2008-01-05T18:37:00.000-08:00

(Posted at http://www.ubfsurvivor.info/testimony.html.)

A Personal Testimony of Spiritual and Psychological Abuse in UBF

Introduction

First, I have to explain why UBF was attractive to me at the time I joined, which was in the late 1990s. I was in my first week of college. About half of my friends had moved away for college. I had also broken up with my girlfriend a couple weeks earlier. It was difficult for me to make friends, so losing these friends had a magnified impact. UBF appealed to me because it seemed to provide an instant set of friends. I was also searching spiritually during that time. After being an agnostic for a few years, I had come back to faith in God and was looking for spiritual guidance. Lastly, I was nursing an as yet undiagnosed, but long-standing problem with depression and anxiety. I longed for something to help the pain and for someone to acknowledge my suffering.

First encounter

Thus the stage was set for me to make the worst decision of my life. On the Wednesday of my first week of school at UMBC (the University of Maryland, Baltimore County) I was studying linear algebra alone on a bench in one of the academic buildings. I was biding my time until an evening ballroom dancing class. Looking away from my work I spied a middle-aged Korean man walking the upstairs corridor carrying a briefcase. A minute later, I saw the same man approaching me. "Can I sit next to you?" he asked. I assented and he explained that he came from an organization called the University Bible Fellowship, or UBF. During the ensuing conversation I mentioned that I had been reading Matthew's gospel on my own. He seemed to take great interest in everything I said and offered to study the Bible with me.

During the conversation he also handed me a simple pamphlet with a hand-drawn picture of a shepherd on the front. Now I know what you're thinking, readers. "Don't do it! Red flags should be going off in your head left and right." But they weren't. I was young and inexperienced and honestly the thought that I was being invited into a cult never crossed my mind. I accepted his invitation to meet with him the next week for a one-hour Bible study of the so-called "one-to-one" format. The man, who called himself Peter but handed me a business card with his first name reading "Sung-Il," also asked for my phone number. I believe I declined to give it, instead offering an email address.

First study session

The next week, I faithfully met this stranger at a designated site on campus. He produced two Bibles, both New International Versions. His was well-worn and had markings on it with colored pencil. We read part of the first chapter of the book of Genesis, taking turns reading the verses. Next came out the question paper. I read question number one, stammered out some sort of answer, and then listened to Peter give a forceful answer in his broken English. I no longer remember the content of the discussion, but suffice to say that that didn't matter. Here I had a person who was paying attention to me. Also, the man had a strange way about him. He spoke with authority as if he knew that what he was saying about God was certain. In a world of questions, he seemed to be providing definitive answers.

Continued study

So I agreed to meet Peter again. The next few times I met him we went over different passages of Genesis in sequential order. We got up to the ninth chapter and then skipped to the twelfth chapter. Between meetings, I would go over the passage and answer the questions on my own sheet. I also read treatises he gave me on the passages. I did not at the time know that these treatises were UBF messages penned by the revered founder of UBF, Samuel Lee. (Now something must be explained. Korean UBF people have two names - their real Korean names, and their English UBF names. Often former UBF members refer to UBF leader Samuel Lee by his real name Chang Woo Lee.) These messages are the same ones that are read verbatim at UBF pulpits on Sundays.

Sunday services and testimonies

After a few weeks, I was asked to attend a UBF Sunday Worship Service. Everyone at the service seemed to know about me already and they were mostly very friendly and welcoming. The service was held at what Peter called "the Bible Center," but which was really his living room. As I would learn over the next five years, every UBF service follows a preset format. In fact, only a couple months after starting to attend these services, I was called upon to lead them, which basically meant standing at the podium, conducting the flow of the service and giving a short prayer. Around the time I accepted this job as "presider" I unwittingly gave my first "testimony." Namely, I was invited to write and deliver a speech relating how a particular Bible passage applied to my life. Peter did not vet the speech beforehand, which I would later discover was a rare exception. The actual text of this speech can be read here. From then onward, I wrote a testimony every week and shared it with Peter or a small group. On special occasions I would speak to the entire congregation at the service.

The Baltimore II UBF Chapter

UBF is organized geographically into chapters. I was in the Baltimore II UBF chapter, which preys more-or-less exclusively on the students of the University of Maryland Baltimore County (UMBC). The chapter leader is Peter (my UBF teacher). The other UBF Koreans are Peter's wife Anna, and the family of Andrew and Joanna. Peter and Anna had three college age children. The main American members were Dane, David, Don, and myself. There were usually about 15 faithful members total.

Reaction of family and friends

My family was always suspicious toward my involvement in UBF. The first thing they asked me was, "Have you checked this group out?" I remember having some serious discussions with mom about what it was that I was getting into. Because of their concern, I went to the campus ministry office to see if they knew anything about UBF. Unfortunately, UMBC has no campus minister and there was never anyone in the office. Whenever I went to a big UBF meeting, my mom would always say, "Remember to think for yourself."

When I tried to get my friends involved in UBF, I was met with cold opposition. One friend said he wouldn't join because "it seems strange." I'm sure my sudden change into a religious fanatic had bewildered them. When it became clear that they wouldn't join UBF, I distanced myself from them.

Fishing ministry

The process of finding new UBF students is called "fishing ministry." Non-Korean members who participate in fishing are given the title "shepherd." In turn, the initiates are called "sheep." I began fishing ministry after about six months of being in UBF. At first I did this with the most senior American shepherd, Dane. Typically, we would look for someone who was alone, and we would explain that we were from UBF and were looking for persons interested in studying the Bible. Most people gave a flat no, and we would leave without inquiring further. Some people would say, "I already go to church" or "I went to Sunday school." Acting like spiritual know-it-alls, we would engage these persons in a conversation and quote the Bible in an attempt to show them that their current religious activities are insufficient. Then we would explain that God has a special plan for them to study the Bible one-to-one and become a Bible teacher. We would talk to anywhere between one and ten people in a period from 15 to 120 minutes. We had to report our progress at the end of the week.

Being a shepherd

After a year or two in UBF I became a full-fledged shepherd which means I began to "feed" a sheep. I did my best to teach this freshman guy everything I had been taught by Peter about Genesis. Unlike myself, this sheep's personality was not pliant so I had little success and he stopped studying after a few weeks. I may have had one or two other sheep during the next year who studied a couple times and that was all. Toward the end of my third year in UBF I fished a sheep by the name of John, who stayed with me for a year and a half. I believe Peter deliberately put a lot of pressure on John so he would drop out. John was of Asian descent and UBF prefers Caucasians.

Deeper into the mire

The first summer after joining, I attended my first UBF conference. The next summer, I had my first experiences with the dreaded "message training" and "drama training," which I will explain below. After a few years in UBF, I began living in a "common life" apartment, only to leave a few months later when my roommate left UBF. Soon after that I graduated from UMBC.

At the encouragement of UBF, I applied to PhD programs in my field. (It just so happens that UBF highly prizes advanced degrees, especially in technical and medical professions. 1) It was made clear that I was to stay with the Baltimore II UBF even after graduation. Hence, I chose to attend the best grad program in the local area, namely UM, College Park. After beginning "PhD training," I went on a "mission journey" to Germany, became a "fellowship leader" and began attending the "leaders' meeting."

Strange and cultish aspects of UBF

I could write an endless number of pages on the weird practices and beliefs of UBF. Those which touched me in a personal way are described below, in alphabetical order. The remaining salient aspects of UBF are detailed in my treatise on UBFism.

Arranged marriage

Arranged marriage or "marriage by faith" is the only accepted way of marriage in UBF. I actually witnessed an arranged marriage involving Dane, the most senior shepherd in the chapter. Dane knew full well that he was going to be married to a UBF Korean of the leaders' choosing whom he had hardly met before. Dane's only "prayer topic" was that she would be an English major (so they could perhaps communicate).

Aspersions cast on people who leave UBF

It was preached in UBF messages (sermons) that people who left UBF got into car accidents and died or became quadriplegic. Those who left UBF were shunned completely. Every manner of aspersion was cast upon them. Peter made up a complicated scheme to explain the leaving of one of his students after five years. The central component was that the student who left was playing the "female role" in a homosexual relationship with another UBF member. 2 Peter also liked to relate a story about Brent, who would have been the Abraham of Faith of the chapter had he stayed in UBF. According to Peter, he didn't want to marry the woman UBF chose for him. Instead, he wanted to marry a "very theen" woman whom he met at the pool. He left UBF and they got married. After a year, the woman became "three times fat." This was seen as God's judgment on Brent for having wanted his "own way."

Being put on the spot

Peter liked to put people on the spot and grill them with hard, personal questions in front of everybody. He also liked to ask people to make commitments on the spot in a public setting. Once at the UBF service I was asked by Peter to attend the UBF conference in Germany. I had to give him my decision immediately, in front of everyone. (Yes, I went and no, UBF did not pay for it.) On another occasion, I was sharing a life testimony and explained that I did not like being forced to do things the "Korean way." Peter interrupted and made me reread the sentence to say, "I don't like doing things God's way."

Bible study with an agenda

The meaning and purpose of Bible study is to discuss what the Bible says and what it means. UBF does not care about such things. Rather, UBF is interested in how they can twist around what is in the Bible to make it seem to fit their agenda. Often this involves reading things into the Bible that aren't there. At every one-to-one UBF study meeting, the shepherd has a predetermined idea of what the sheep should learn. There will be just enough discussion to make it seem like actual Bible study as opposed to one-way indoctrination, but even the discussion will tend to be one-sided.

Confusing jargon

UBFers constantly talk in code language. Some examples of the UBF jargon include "broken shepherd heart," "Holy Nation Woman," "junk sheep," "Abraham of Faith," and "vessel of coworkship."

Dating is not allowed

Any kind of acknowledgment of sexuality was seen as sinful. Those who entered UBF in a romantic relationship were quickly pushed to give it up. One time very early in my UBF studies, Peter asked me, "What is your sin? Maybe looking at girls' hips?" I said yes.

Deceptive recruitment

Members who are invited to join UBF are told all they have to do is attend a one-hour Bible study once a week. They are not told upfront that they will be required to do so many other things as time goes on. One time I asked Peter about this and he said, "If I had told you you would have to do all these things at the beginning, would you have joined?" I replied in the negative.

Difficulties in communication

UBF leaders do not listen with the goal of understanding. Rather, they listen to hear what they want to hear. Honest, two-way conversation rarely happens in UBF. This is not a result of cultural differences, as UBF would like everyone to think. UBF actually discourages its members from forming close relationships with their peers. Everything is channeled into the dysfunctional authoritarian shepherd/sheep relationship. For instance, if a question arises about something learned, the member should take the issue up with his/her shepherd as opposed to asking a peer about it. One time, Dane, a more senior shepherd, sat down to talk with me about the history of the "ministry" and somehow the Korean leaders found out about it. I was severely castigated by Peter's wife - "Shepherd Dane is not your shepherd!"

Drama training

Every time a UBF holiday or major conference was upcoming, I would have to participate in a play, called a "drama," scripted and directed by one of the UBF Koreans. The purpose of these plays was to entertain the audience at important UBF meetings, and to break down the personality of the actors. The manner in which we portrayed our characters in these plays was most unconventional and unnatural. I remember always being in a psychological state of dissociation when acting in UBF dramas. One time toward the end of my stay in UBF, I was told to write a script for a holiday drama. However, when we met to practice the drama, another UBF Korean showed up with a script of his own. "Ha! We never intended to use your script," he told me, "it was just training."

Eternal salvation depends on leader's approval

Most UBF members are kept in constant doubt of their salvation. Salvation appeared to be tied to the leaders' approval rather than to one's internalization of Christian principles.

Every meeting was mandatory

I often had to skip family events, including my parents' 25th wedding anniversary, to attend UBF meetings. If you didn't attend a meeting, there would be some sort of phone call or follow-up to find out why. Those who missed meetings were looked down upon and criticized by the leaders as "unfaithful to God."

Hierarchy of power

Called "spiritual order" by UBFers. There is a clear pecking order among long-standing members and even new recruits. Generally seniority rules, although sometimes those who are particularly well-trained rise above their juniors. Members who are lower on the hierarchy are expected to be thankful towards the higher-ups. Higher-ups are encouraged to rebuke those below them, but the other way around is not allowed.

Jealousy and rivalries

There was a bitter rivalry between Peter's wife and the UBF Korean wife of Dane. Peter assented, "They are worse than unbelievers." Peter himself was intensely resentful of Jacob Lee, leader of the UBF in Washington, DC.3

Made-up "sins" and "problems"

If you did not have problems in your life before coming to UBF, UBF would make up fake problems for you to struggle with. Typical made-up "sins" and "problems" include "laziness," "pride," "selfishness," "pleasure seeking," "easygoing life," "job problem," "marriage problem," and having one's "own idea," "own plan," or "own way."

Mental problems seen as spiritual problems

UBF attracts a disproportionate amount of people with mental problems. These medical conditions are seen as being strictly spiritual difficulties. One of Peter's sheep took medication for ADHD. Peter ordered him to stop taking his medication and supposedly "cured" him. Two other sheep were depressed and heard voices at times. Peter rebuked them because he thought they were "demon-possessed."

Message training

With message training, you start out writing your own sermon, what UBFers call a "message." Always, by the time I got to deliver it to an audience, my work underwent so many revisions at Peter's direction that it was no longer my message, but Peter's message spoken by proxy. A great deal of spiritual manipulation takes place during message training. For the 2003 spring Bible academy, I did my first training session with a different UBF Korean called Andrew. Unlike Peter, Andrew encouraged me to emphasize God's grace in my life over performance at UBF tasks. However, I finished the message training with Peter and had to completely rewrite and rethink the message according to his desires. Then, just after I delivered the message which he had vetted, Peter denounced me in front of everyone at the service. "Please pray for Shep-a-dah Frank," he exclaimed, "I am very discouraged that he does not accept his own mess age!" (Note: a sample UBF message and commentary are available here.)

Numerical quotas

UBF prayers are full of numbers. All the leaders have quotas they have to meet in terms of the number of initiates they indoctrinate per week. Each fellowship or chapter has numerical goals for their membership and these are prayed for regularly. Also, there are number goals such as "10,000 house churches in America." Especially mindless were the prayers for 523 campuses in USA and 250 in Canada. These numbers are nowhere near correct, but they are taken very seriously. Once we went to a conference and discovered that Chicago was praying for 253 campuses in Canada. So from then on Peter corrected us and we prayed for 253.

People's names were changed

One time Peter suddenly changed the names of two Korean women in the chapter. Jaewon became Joanna and Gail changed to Susanna. I have no idea why or if they had any input into what their names would be.

Persecution complex

UBF members are paranoid about negative views of their organization. Events such as being thrown out of the library for "fishing" there were seen as "persecution." The most common "persecutions" were at the hands of family members who disagreed with UBF. Family members were seen as enemies of God and enemies of the "ministry."

Peter's out of control ego

At every meeting he had to have the first and last word. His opinion was always seen as superior to others'. His tone toward others was often mocking, especially toward his own family. One instance where Peter was publicly humiliating his son was especially chilling - "Very sorry, Shep. Dane and Shep. Frank, but I want to brainwasheemyson! He must be brainwasheed into Jejzurz," Peter exclaimed.

Racism

Black and Asian people were not seen as desirable UBF candidates because "they have their own culture." One of my "sheep" was Asian. I was told by Peter's wife to get a white "sheep" next time.

Terrible gossip

There was always some sort of intrigue going on in our chapter. Peter and his wife were huge gossip mongers. Peter regularly told me about the personal problems of his other UBF students. For example, one time he told me that his student had confided in him that he was afraid his penis was too small. "Ha! It is not effecteev," Peter mocked.

The belief that no one outside of UBF is "saved"

At one Friday meeting, Peter asked everybody what percentage of people would go to heaven. I answered ten percent. Another person answered five percent. Peter then corrected everybody, saying, "Only one or two percent." He also said that no one that goes to sporting events at Camden Yards, the Baltimore ballpark, is saved.
The leader is always right

During my time in UBF, there was a feeling that I would face God's condemnation if I didn't do things Peter's way. It took me four years in UBF to realize that he was not right all the time.

The UBF voice

A good portion of UBF people, including Americans, talk in a halting, exaggerated manner, often mispronouncing words and omitting articles. For example, the perennial phrase of "fishing ministry:" "Would you like to study Bible?" UBFers are more likely to use the UBF voice when delivering an important message or testimony than in normal conversation.

Titles

Everyone in UBF is addressed by a title. The lowest level title is "brother" or "sister" and is reserved for new recruits. Next is "shepherd" or "shepherdess" (often abbreviated S., Sh., Shp. or Shps.). This title is used for those who recruit "sheep." The most exalted title is "missionary," (abbreviated M., Mis. or Misn.). All Korean UBF adults are called "missionary." Those who have doctoral degress get an additional title "doctor." The original leader of UBF was called "Missionary Doctor Samuel Lee" (even though his degrees are fake). The UBF cofounder Sara Barry has a special title, "Reverend Mother."
Your leader makes major and minor life decisions for you

From what you study, to how you spend your time, to when and whom you marry, UBF leaders expect access to all areas of your life. UBF members are not generally free to make their own decisions. I remember Peter spent many hours "advising" one of my peers through looking for a job after he graduated.

Leaving UBF

I don't want to try to imagine anything more difficult than leaving the cult. It was a year-long process of questioning the UBF system and the leader's authority. I was giving voice to some of my doubts, mainly in my own head, although sometimes I made my doubts public. I committed myself to finding out the truth even if it was different than what the group taught. I was reading Christian books such as Healing for Damaged Emotions and Healing Grace by David Seamands and Tired of Trying to Measure Up by Jeff VanVonderen. I really wished I could get away from UBF for long enough to clear my thoughts. Some times I would go on long drives at night to get away and think. Actually, I took a vacation for a couple days. With the help of those books, I came to the conclusion that I was definitely overburdened by UBF and by my school work.

Attempts to confront the leaders

Twice I attempted to confront UBF leaders about things I did not feel comfortable with. Foolishly, I went directly to Peter first. As soon as he got the sense of where the discussion was going, he turned the tables and began lambasting me. "You are worse than worm crawling in dirt," he said. I tried to respond by saying that I had accepted Jesus into my life through Mark 10:45 and I believed I was saved. Peter said no. "Do you remember when we were at conference and I gave you direction to drink orange juice and eat all different kinds of food? You did not obey!" (Peter did not even know or care that at his direction I had actually begun drinking orange juice and that I was trying many different kinds of food I didn't like.) Peter succeeded in convincing me that I was an unrepentant sinner in need of salvation. The ensuing few months were some of the most terrible times in my life because of the guilt and confusion I felt.

A second time, I went to talk to Dane about the way things were being handled in the chapter. I began by saying that I was concerned about the lack of grace in UBF and some apparent misunderstandings between the leadership and the members. I was hoping we could engineer some change in our chapter. However, as soon as Dane got wind that I was trying to address a problem, he took over the conversation and began defending and praising Peter, even though I had not mentioned Peter in a negative light.

Private doubts and confusion

Some entries in my journal from my last few months in UBF illustrate the mental and physical strain I was under.

* June 18: "It bothers me that they will pray for me to feed 12 sheep or do something, but not for me to stand firm in the gospel."
* June 20: "I have a general not happy, uncomfortable feeling, like I need a long long time of rest and recovery from brutal abuse. There is a pressure in my chest that is like a million-pound burden."
* July 3: "My life is really out of balance."
* July 7: "There is a destructive air of a secret society about it. There is more focus about UBF than about Jesus. Our ministry doesn't strive to live by the entire New Testament, just by certain UBF customs."
* July 9: "Weighed 111 lb."
* August 16: "Tried to go to sleep around 2am, but found that mind was very active and prone to uncontrollable negative thinking, especially worrying about spiritual life or doubts."

The End

Once toward the end of my stay in UBF, Peter decided I would deliver a message based on the healing of the Gerasene demoniac in Luke 8. Peter asked me to name the "demon" that was in my "heart," implying that he believed I was demon-possessed. I was at first shocked that he would suggest such a thing, but I eventually capitulated and concluded that my "demon" was perfectionism. I wrote a twelve-page (single spaced) testimony detailing my problem of perfectionism, both spiritually and practically. Then, Peter told me my demon was not perfectionism but my "own idea" and "own way," but he would not explain what he meant by this. (After leaving UBF, I realized he meant that I was demon-possessed because I did not obey him "absolutely" and think like a robot the way he wanted me to.)

Despite Peter's attempts to plant doubt in me, I eventually returned to the theme of taking grace seriously. So I tried to take it easier at UBF. I still came to all the events and did everything that was asked of me, but no more. I was glad to give up leading a fellowship. I also dropped out of the PhD program, as I was paralyzed by my spiritual confusion.

At the very end, I called in sick to one of the meetings and spent a few days without any group contact. One of the things I decided during that time was that Peter was not qualified to be the leader of any church group. I was reading in the New Testament about the qualifications of church leaders and one was, "He must not be overbearing" (see Titus 1:7). Peter is definitely overbearing and I think any member of Baltimore II would privately assent to that. I also took a quick glance at the online testimonies of some former UBFers, but was unsure of how much to believe because I had been told that these websites were Satan's lies.

Finally, one day I visited a park with my mother. We discussed my thoughts that something was really wrong with this group. At this point, I did not think that Peter would have done anything to hurt me intentionally. I just thought there was a big misunderstanding between us. In any case, I decided to end my association with the group once and for all. That evening I called Peter and told him I would not be coming back. He began telling me that without UBF, I would lose my salvation. Then, he asked me, "Do you think Bible study caused you to give up your PhD?" I knew this was a trick to make me feel guilty, but I was confident that my decision to leave UBF was entirely for spiritual reasons, not because of its effect on my studies. So I told him I had nothing more to say to him, and hung up. I have not had contact with any UBF member since that day. My total time in UBF was five years, one and a half months.

Life after UBF

Assessing the damage

The day after I left UBF, I began to see a pattern of deliberate deception and manipulation in what I had previously classed as misunderstandings between Peter and myself. Put in simpler terms, I realized I was in a cult. Around this time, I also accepted the fact that I was in need of help for depression and anxiety. I had been having anxiety attacks and dizzy spells from time to time during the past three years. As a result of the mental tension I was undergoing, I developed chronic myofascial pain in most of my body. So I began to take medication and go to psychotherapy. Also, I decided to stay away from school for the time being. I would not have tried to go for a PhD had it not been UBF's desire.

Stagnation

During the half-year immediately following my cult exit, I was in a dense fog of depression. My visit to the Wellspring retreat center in Ohio did offer a ray of hope. There I learned about Lifton's eight points of thought reform, and saw how each of them was used in UBF. I also appreciated the caring nature of the staff there. Unfortunately, when I got home from Wellspring, I didn't know what to do with my time. Since I was not working, I spent most of my time at home either stewing or reading about cults, psychology, and spiritual things. For recreation, I played video games and squash. Although it was a dark time for me, I remember having some feeling of wonder because I felt like I was in a time warp - as if I had just woken up from a five-year coma.

Rebuilding a life

It eventually became clear to me that my medications were not helping my depression. At the suggestion of my psychotherapist, I entered myself into psychiatric hospitalization. I spent a week in the inpatient ward and a month attending the outpatient program. Many positive things came out of my stay in the hospital. I was set up with an excellent doctor and therapist, was started on medication that helped me sleep, and it was made clear to me that I needed to get out of the house regularly. I began two volunteer jobs. Volunteering helped me re-accommodate myself to being out and about in the non-cult world.

About a year after leaving UBF I started working in a paid position in a field completely different from what I studied and worked at while in the group. Also, a new set of medications began to take hold. I was seeing exciting glimpses of what life could be like without being weighed down all the time. I also began to make new friends from my contacts in volunteering and work.

Spiritual growth

My UBF experience had the effect of deepening my connection to the spiritual. When I left UBF I was very in touch with my spiritual side and I felt that leaving UBF was definitely what God wanted me to do. I have been through a few spiritual phases since leaving UBF.

* The first phase was the "I'm still afraid to go to church" phase. This lasted a few months and I kept my spiritual life strong by praying and reading Christian literature. During this time, I would have classed myself as a conservative Evangelical.
* The next couple months were my church-finding phase. I studied up on just about every Christian denomination known to man and attended church at a few of them.
* Third was my moderate, United Methodist phase. I found a church home at the University United Methodist Church in College Park, MD. I decided to stay there because of their excellent assistant minister and the high quality of people in their campus ministry. I participated in group Bible studies on campus (led by the minister), assisted with sound and video at worship services, and sang in the contemporary Christian choir. This phase lasted a year and a half.
* Currently I am being drawn into ever more progressive ways of thinking. Some great books disintegrated what was remaining of my conservatism. They included Rescuing the Bible from Fundamentalism by Bishop Spong, Reading the Bible Again for the First Time: Taking the Bible Seriously but not Literally by Marcus Borg, and Why the Jews Rejected Jesus by David Klinghoffer. I became convinced that the Bible is the fallible work of humans and that uncertainty is the mark of religious maturity. I no longer hold to most of the traditional Christian doctrines about Jesus, but Jesus' teachings still form a significant part of my moral foundations.

Conclusion

My decision to leave UBF stands as the best decision of my life and I am very grateful for it. Given the grave nature of what I went through, it would have been easy to give up on life. However, I decided to face directly every challenge life has thrown at me and have done surprisingly well. Depression and anxiety no longer rule my life. I feel good about myself and am encouraged that wherever I go, people seem to like me and think that I am a really good person. I have learned to think for myself and to say "no" when necessary. I am finally re-entering the field in which I was educated. There still remains some work left to be done in my recovery, most of it related to dating and relationships. In all, there is a bright future for me and indeed anyone with the will and perseverance to get themselves out of UBF.

Footnotes

1. Note that UBF does not prize theological degrees. Rather, theological education is discouraged. Almost no UBF member has any formal theological training. (On very rare occasions, some UBF chapters will bring a guest speaker from a Bible college in an attempt to gain legitimacy within Christian circles.)

2. Apparently, Peter got this idea from a "Bible study" session with the UBFer before he left. They were discussing a passage that Peter believes says homosexuality is sinful. When Peter shared this view, the student pounded his fist on the table and got up. Peter then put his hands on him and yelled, "Confess! You have evil homosexual demons in your heart." Peter related, "I was ready to fight him." Then, one day the UBFer who was about to leave invited the other UBFer over to dinner. Peter claimed that by cooking dinner he was acting like a woman, and suggested that the two of them may have been gay lovers.

3. According to Peter, when he came to the USA in the early 1990s, he went to Washington UBF and was told by Jacob Lee that his job would be to drive students to and from services. Peter wanted to be able to "pioneer" his own chapter. So he successfully appealed to Chang Woo Lee and was granted the Baltimore II chapter in the mid-1990s. Peter considers himself spiritually superior to Jacob Lee. Once he said that the only UBF chapters that were worth their salt were Chicago and LA. So he refused to "cowork" with other UBF chapters in the region. Especially, we looked down on all of the Washington and Baltimore I UBFers as second-class because they had "so many missionaries" and not many "sheep." Because they were not "fruitful," we assumed they had a spiritual "problem."

Korean Staff (Open Letter to Samuel Lee, 1976)

2008-01-03T11:35:00.000-08:00

(Posted at http://rsqubf.info/documents/reform/1976.html.)

1976 Open Letter to Samuel Lee

(Seven Korean UBF staff shepherds wrote this document on April 17, 1976 before Easter to Samuel Lee. This is translated from Korean.)

Matthew 7:16,17: "By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thorn-bushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit."

May the grace of Jesus be upon you in this Easter season.

First of all, we are very sad to send this letter to you without first having the chance to discuss it with you. As you know, we have sacrificed our youth, dreams and family to serve the ministry of God. We have never disobeyed you. We obeyed you because we believed that you are God's servant. We hope that you might understand how we have suffered until we gave up Sunday worship services and the wedding of our sheep. We believe that God has begun his ministry in Korea and led UBF for 15 years through the Holy Spirit. We already thought how much our action would influence junior shepherds and sheep.

Shepherd Lee! On April 2, 1976, you ordered senior shepherds to gather at Chong-No chapter for message training because they were late for a meeting at 8:30 am. Through shepherd Mark Yang, you ordered Joseph Lee to go to Kwang-Joo chapter and Nathaniel Ahn to go to Dae-Jeon chapter. Mark Yang gave a meaningful smile and said to us, "Wait for a while and there will be another order." A few moments later, An-Soon Lee came and said, "Just write the message well." She explained why we got message training. It was because shepherd Chang-Woo Lee had difficulty writing the Genesis message, so he called every chapter in the morning. We heard from your wife that she paid careful attention to you because you would hit the rear end of shepherds after you quarreled with her. However, we did not take it seriously.

We believed that you were our spiritual father who gave us training out of love. You ordered Joseph Lee to move to Myung-Ryun chapter and Jonah Kim to move to Su-Daemoon chapter because they did not attend English Bible study on April 7, 1976. As we absolutely obeyed you as God's servant for eight to 10 years, shepherds Joseph Lee and Jonah Kim decided to obey your direction. We persuaded shepherd Nathaniel Ahn and Matthew Sohn to obey your direction. We prayed together and discussed current problems and future directions in UBF.

We found several problems in UBF. First, we do not know why UBF exists now. Even local churches are making efforts for campus mission and world mission now. Second, why have so many well-trained shepherds become useless? The situation was not too bad three years ago. Now they do not trust each other and compete too much to survive. Third, it is not right to overlook illegal acts inside UBF in the name of the ministry of God. We are tired of being trained by you and it difficult to see why we should continue to serve the ministry of UBF. Therefore, we decided to leave Seoul and spend time in prayer and God's words in order to refresh ourselves.

Shepherd Lee! Why did we become miserable like this? Why did UBF become miserable like this? We have received new life and calling from God to serve the ministry of God through UBF. Why are these tragic things happening10 years after we sacrificed our lives and gave up everything? We just kept crying without doing anything. We have lived for the truth, mission and our sheep to learn about Jesus, but we ended up being miserable. We could not stop crying. We prayed that God may use you and junior shepherds even if we might leave UBF. However, there was one unsolved question in our mind. Would every problem be solved if we resign? We have received calling from God to live for his glory. What is the right way to serve God even if we die right now?

We have prayed to find what we need to do for the future ministry of God. Through prayer, the Holy Spirit led us to this conclusion: to repent the sins of UBF and receive the grace of God. We should repent all our sins. We prayed together to find all spiritual sins and illegal activities under your leadership. Shepherd Lee! We were in high emotion. However, we've overcome our emotion now and made a decision for the truth. Please consider our opinions deeply.

1. Offering

As you know very well, our offering is from poor college students and laymen shepherds who are not economically settled yet. They sacrificed their whole income like the widow of Luke 21. Offering money should be used for world mission and charity. However, you spent the offering - 150,000won ($15,000) - by yourself. You should be concentrating on prayer and the ministry of the word instead. You said that we were too immature to take care of the offering money. However, you misappropriated the offering in the following ways:

i) Misappropriation of offering money

Shepherd Lee! In 1974, 20,000,000 won ($20,000) was collected for Bangladesh hunger. You misappropriated 20,000,000 won ($20,000) to buy the building for the Kwan-Ak chapter in 1975. You said that offering money would be returned later to be used for its original purpose. We agreed with you at that time. You, however, decided to permanently misappropriate those offering for spiritually poor students of the Seoul National University at the staff meeting of January 3, 1976. In order to collect this offering, our brothers and sisters sold their wedding rings, necklaces, textbooks, even their blood and offered their savings and college tuition. Those offerings should be used for Bangladesh hunger. What is worse, the Eerie chapter gave a lot of offering for charity since 1970. However, only 1,000,000 won ($1,000) was sent to Bangladesh in the spring of 1971. We cannot tell students to give offering for the 1976 Christmas because our conscience of faith would not allow us. Recently, the Dae-Han magazine was indicted for misappropriation of donation money. The illegal misappropriation should not be allowed for non-profit organizations.

ii) Concealment of an accounting book in UBF headquarters

You never disclosed the accounting of UBF headquarters. Matthew Sohn and Samuel Lee always reported the accounting by depending on information that your wife provided. As a result, they could only forge accounting. A large amount of money has been used for obscure reasons. The accounting has never been audited. We can not understand how one person can use such a large amount of money without an audit. Furthermore, a huge amount of money comes from abroad by layman missionaries. These offerings are very precious. Nobody, however, knows how these offerings have been used so far.

iii) Obscure expenses and expenditures

You bought a lot of real estate without discussion. When you attended the 1974 Swiss Rojan International Conference, you spent a lot of money bribing Korean religious leaders who were criticizing UBF. Your official monthly salary is 10,000 won ($100). You, however, squandered much more money than your salary. For example, you gave 1,000 won ($1.00) to sheep who came to greet you on new year's day. Is 1,000 won meaningful to our sheep? You, as the president of leaders, must give your attention to prayer and the ministry of the word (Act 6:3-6). You, however, control all expenses and expenditures by yourself. You treat the offering money of UBF as your own. As a result, UBF becomes corrupted. You show us that the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil (1 Timothy 6:10).

2. Abuse of human right

Shepherd Lee! You taught us that one person's life is more important than the whole world. Therefore, human beings should not be used as means in whatever situation. You, however, do evil in the name of good purpose and abuse human rights. These will become serious issues in our society if these are disclosed to the public.

(i) Case for violence and lynch

You beat people for training. Do you remember a big traffic jam in January of 1973 due to a severe snowstorm? Shepherds Nam-Kyun Lee, Isaac Koh, Jonah Kim, and Matthew Sohn were late for the leader meeting on that day. You ordered them to hit each other 10 times. Some of them fainted and some were hospitalized because of their wounded ears. According to the testimony of Moses Kim, you locked Dong-Jin Park in your house and made him sit naked in ice water for five hours. You ordered missionary candidate Ki-Hwang Yoo to be your personal driver. When he didn't obey you, you expelled him to Jejoo Island. You also ordered shepherd Nam-Kyun Lee to give Ki-Hwang Yoo only one meal per day at Jejoo Island and beat him 100 times everyday. He finally got pneumonia due to ill nutrition and horror. You made shepherd Man-Suk Chang take his two toenails out. You beat National Medical Center doctor, Hyung-Sik Sunwoo, at Chongno chapter before his brothers and sisters. You ordered shepherd Man-Suk Chang to beat Ki-Cho Kim at the CNF Mission Report in September of 1975. He got bruises in his face and ears. After this, he left UBF. There are a lot of cases. Shepherd Lee! We can not find anything like this in Jesus. If a victim sues you, UBF will be considered a cult and will be sentenced as guilty.

(ii) Forced arranged marriage

Shepherd Lee! Marriage is the blessing of God and should not be used for any other purposes. Marriage should be decided by the two people seriously. In the 1975 fall leader conference, you forced single male shepherds to make an oath, "I am the husband of a female German missionary." Even some shepherds, who were already engaged, were forced to do it. You might think that you did it for the love of spinster missionaries. You, however, did it strategically to encourage the loyalty of spinster missionaries to you. Shepherd Jung-Jin Kim did not answer your question immediately when you asked if he would marry the missionary you had in mind. As a result, you changed his name to Three Years Kim and ordered him not to marry within three years. Eung-Pyo Hong at Sudaemoon chapter was already engaged. You, however, ignored his engagement and forced him to marry another woman. You, however, excommunicated him saying he was like Ananias and Sapphira when he did not accept your order. The worst case was missionary candidate Soong-Heum Kim. You ordered him to marry Jung-Hwa Sho. She, however, turned down your direction. Thus, you ordered him to marry Jun-ho Lee. This time he turned down your direction because he wondered why God's direction was so whimsical. Because of his decision, you did not accept him as a missionary even though he sacrificed a lot in Chicago. Hwang-Woo Yeo, the Seoul districts judge, left UBF when you forced him to obey the arranged marriage. You spiritually abused Sang-Bong Kim at Kwan-Ak chapter when he objected to marry So-Won Kim. Whoever did not obey your marriage direction in UBF was accused of being a rebellious sinner. They had no choice but to leave UBF in the end. Most of the marriages in UBF were political. Marriage has been used to make members loyal to UBF. The arranged wedding is criticized by many people in our society and is disclosed to newspapers. The arranged wedding is not only non-Biblical, but also a sin that deprives humans of the freedom of marriage.

3. Cheat, theft and illegal activity

Shepherd Lee! Christianity never ignored ethics and morals in society (Matthew 5:20). You, however, said that the contradiction of ethical morals should be overcome. This non-biblical philosophy has justified many illegal activities.

(i) Theft

You ordered people to steal passports of missionary candidates for several years under the name of missionary training. The victims were missionaries Young-Ok Lee, Phil-Soon Huh, and Duk-Ki Kim. You also confiscated the working permit of missionary candidate Joon-Ki Chung because he was likely to desert missionary training. As Christians, we can not understand those things.

(ii) Forged documents and bribe

In December 1975, you wanted to change your ownership of the building of the Kwan-Ak chapter (25,000,000 won - $25,000) to the organization because of its high property tax. You changed the name of UBF to City Evangelism and appointed Joseph Lee, Nathaniel Ahn, Moses Kim and Mary Joo as committee members to obtain the alternation permission of ownership from local court. You also bribed tax collectors and notary officials to register non-registered real estate owned by the laymen mission organization. You evaded taxes. It is very sad that you, the chief leader of UBF, broke the law while keeping it secret from our sheep. Do we need to own those properties by breaking the law?

(iii) Destruction of family

You easily destroyed other shepherds' families while overprotecting your family. Family is a fundamental unit. Furthermore, a Christian family is the body of Christ. A Christian family is holy and personal and should not be destroyed by anyone. Only Jesus is the head of Christian family and leads it (Ephesians 5:30-33). You, however, intervened in the families of our sheep too much and easily destroyed families. You ordered Shepherd Paul Lee's wife to divorce her husband in the name of shepherd training. You ordered Samuel H. Lee to go to Kwang-Joo chapter after sending his children to an orphanage and his wife to the USA. These are not just verbal threat. You forced Kyung-Hee Suh (the wife of president of laymen shepherds Jin-Tae Suh) to go to USA because, you said, she was not qualified to be the wife of a president, and separated her from her family for one year. You forced Isaac Koh to sleep in the UBF center for self-control training of marriage life. You also ordered other shepherds be away from their wives and to divorce them. We did not take the arranged marriages seriously. But the suffering you cause in real marriages is unbearable.

4. Non-biblical education methods

Shepherd Lee! The education method of UBF is based on Jesus' disciple training. The basic of Jesus' education method is personal conversion. Our current education methods, however, depart far from the Bible.

(i) Forced repentance

Shepherd Lee! You forced missionary candidate Suk-Jo Chang to put red pepper into his eyes and made him strike his head on the wall for his repentance. He repented his sin superficially, but kept his bitterness in his heart. He never wrote a letter after he went to the USA. You also beaten or threatened people to repent. There is no example that true repentance is achieved by inhumane forced repentance. Missionaries who experienced inhumane training have bitter and askew hearts. We can not bear it any longer. Isn't repentance originated by the Holy Spirit?

(ii) Forced testimony sharing

Shepherd Lee! Testimony sharing can be used as a good educational method through which we can accept God's word deep in our heart and solve our problems. You, however, forced people to confess their sin through testimony by ignoring their own initiatives. You gave suffering to our sheep when they confessed their sin. You used their weak points to make them obey your direction. You forced E-Sook Ahn to write love confession several times before her marriage. This is severe spiritual abuse.

(iii) Infusion of personal philosophy through your message

Shepherd Lee! The essence of Christianity is Jesus' death on the cross and his resurrection. For several years, you overstressed Genesis Bible study to force people to depend on your messages alone. Even though there was daily bread, you overstressed the part of the Bible to lose the universality of the Bible. This gave rise to the misunderstanding that our way of the Bible study is the same as that of a cult. We failed to teach our sheep the gospel of Jesus. Our Bible study methods are not those of Jesus and the Apostle Paul, but an infusion of your personal philosophy that blocks a free and creative way of thinking. It hinders the growth of faith for our sheep at each chapter.

(iv) Inhumane training of shepherds

Shepherd Lee! We admit that we shepherds need a lot of training in order for UBF to grow. It is true that you have much interest in shepherd training. You are absorbed in training shepherds after the CNF conference. You are proud that you are the best trainer in the world. We have been proud that we have wonderful trainer like you. What are the fruits of your training for the last 10 years? You were proud that you chose us from the best intellectuals. We tried our best to accept your training. But according to you, we turned out to be useless. Is there any problem in your training? Shepherd training absolutely needs individuality and self-control. Your training, however, is not spiritual training but spiritual abuse including harsh language, beatings and torture. You did not show personal interest and seriously discuss individual spiritual growth. You did not develop individual and personal talents. You made all members identical. You punished shepherds rather than helping them solve their problems if their errors were found. For example, you defiled them by beating (i.e., Man-Suk Chang) and hurt them spiritually by alienation. You threatened to impose fines and salary reduction. We are in despair due to horror, guilt, shame and self-accusation rather than growing spiritually by solving our problems. You don't have any standard for training. According to your wife, An-Soon, you hit the rear end of shepherds after you quarreled with your wife. Therefore, she tried her best not to quarrel with you. When we heard about this, we were shocked because we respected you as our spiritual father.

Shepherd Lee! Who grows spiritually by inhumane and identical training? The more we get your training, the more we become useless. Shepherd Jin-Hwa Lee does not say anything whenever he attends the leader meeting. Shepherd Nam-Kyun loses his hope. Shepherd Jonah Kim loses his whole desire. You, however, said that we were proud, lazy, and low-level because we graduated from third-level universities. You seem never to improve your personality. Your standard of training is to make a person like you and the goal of training is to absolutely obey you. We always worry about how we can escape your training and when your training is finished, rather than about growing our faith by training. Your training prevents us from growing. You make us spiritually useless and use us as a means for your business. Shepherd Lee! We are tired of your training. We bear fruits of fear, horror, lies, mistrust, and evil spirits rather than those of righteousness and peace. Shepherd Lee! We feel choked.

5. Shepherd Chang-Woo Lee centered-ministry

Jesus should be the center of the gospel ministry. The current UBF ministry is your ministry not Jesus'. The evidence is the following:

(i) Paralyzed function of committees

You appoint committee members by yourself. The main functions of committees are to budget, account, audit and inspect. You, however, won't reject to disclose the accounting balance and thus, the committee is nothing but a name. You always decide what you want without free discussion or vote. You easily changed decisions made by committee members. In fact, committees become puppets. For example, after you diverted 1974 offering money for Bangladesh hunger (20,000,000 won) to buy the building for the Kwan-Ak chapter, you forcefully obtained the purchase permission in the name of spiritual salvation during the regular committee meeting of January 3, 1976. This caused committee member Ik-Keun Hwang to resign. When this become a problem, you enforced the committee meeting on April 10, 1976, while five committee members did not attend. You concealed your sin of misappropriation by diverting world mission offering to refill offering money for Bangladesh hunger. You secretly appointed Seong-Jang Lee as the president of a committee to register the Kwan-Ak chapter building even though there was a legal committee president. These facts show that the committee becomes puppet controlled by you. As a result, you control the accounting and personnel administration of UBF by yourself. This causes you to make several sins.

(ii) Dictatorship of leader meeting

We were proud like the Apostolic church members when we accepted the calling to be a shepherd. We were eager to attend leader meetings. When we attended the leader meeting, we refreshed ourselves by the Holy Spirit. We came from a long distance to listen to your message every Monday despite financial difficulties. What is the situation now? You, the president of leaders, dictate in various meetings of 30 leaders. Through meetings, you input your thoughts to leaders without discussion.

You appointed, dismissed and changed the staff shepherds and lay shepherds by yourself. You gave bonuses and reduced salaries whenever you wanted. You manipulated your authority to subordinate shepherds who sacrificed their family, dreams, and life. You made Kil-Soo Kim, Anna Song, and Mark Yang your private tutors for your children. We, therefore, lost the meaning of God's absolute calling. Because of violence, shepherds live in fear. Every Monday, shepherds worry if they will be beaten in the name of training. They tremble with fear from beginning Monday morning and often attend the leader meeting without having lunch.

You ordered us to report the number of Sunday worship attendants and the amount of offering rather than the work of the Holy Spirit. Do you know that some shepherds made a false report? This is due to your dictatorship and fear rather than some shepherd's cowardliness. Joseph Lee sacrificed his life for 10 years. You said, "He can not live if he leaves UBF." You publicly told another shepherd that he hurt the ministry of God. He was an ineffective shepherd.

Shepherd Lee! Who can work under a leader like you? You judged a coworker's prayer topics and acted without truth in the name of training. You hurt shepherds fatally in their heart. When you discovered the weakness of one shepherd, you ordered one shepherd to train the other shepherd. You planted mistrust, doubt and bitterness among shepherds. Only order and reluctant submission remains in our leader meetings, which is far from the atmosphere of the Apostolic church. When the Holy Spirit works, all the believers become one in heart and mind (Act 4:32). When Satan works, only division and fear are expected.

Shepherd Lee! We lack a sense of spirit, philosophy and history. We sometimes did not love truth. However, if anybody read the facts mentioned above, he surely would say that UBF is gone too far from the spirit of truth. We have no doubt that God has used and blessed UBF through you. However, when we recall the last several years, UBF becomes nothing but a den of robbers since you did not spend the offering for charity.

We believed that you changed after you burnt yourself. Therefore, we absolutely trusted in you and followed your directions. We believed that you loved God and truth. We thought that we served God by obeying your directions in whatever situation. Last week, we deeply meditated with the Bible to ask if our act was like Korah who led a rebellion against Moses, the servant of God. We asked ourselves if criticizing you was to betray you, our spiritual father. We also thought that we should serve God's ministry as one body, keeping in mind the miserable history of division in our country. If all the facts in UBF are disclosed to the public, UBF will be an issue of horror in society. We already considered that our act might devastate the UBF ministry and hurt our sheep. This is not all! When we repented the sins of UBF before God, we experienced the suffering of death because we ourselves were already deeply ill.

You, however, said several time that UBF should perish for the glory of God if UBF is gone from the truth. You were right! In Jeremiah chapter 7, God said that He would make his temple like Shiloh. His people, the Israelites, did all kinds of evil and followed other gods while saying, "This is the temple of the Lord, the temple of the Lord, the temple of the Lord!" God said that He would scatter the Israelites and make them captives of Babylon. God is righteous. If there was no truth and righteousness in his ministry and people, God turned his promise over to Gentiles, destroyed his temple, and scattered his people. The ministry without truth should not exist. As long as the ministry exists without truth, God's glory is not revealed and our sheep are manipulated. We all agree that you are idolized in UBF and your glory is revealed without revealing God's glory. UBF ministry becomes a man-made ministry, in which Satan works.

Jesus said in John 8:44 that Satan is a liar and killer. Your saying seemed to be right when you said. That you, however, lied too much as a Christian leader after all. UBF is not a ministry of light and truth, but a ministry of cheating that has a lot of dark secrets (1 John 1). UBF is far from righteousness (Matthew 23). We have worked very closely with you for 10 years. We conclude that we'd rather die than work with you like Rehoboam (1 King 12). UBF used to be a life-giving ministry of the Holy Spirit. Now you use people and desert them.

What you do is far from what Jesus did. It is a life-killing ministry, not a life-giving ministry. You heard from Shepherd John Jun that we gathered near City Tae-Jeon on April 14, 1976. You sent Isaac Koh's family to the shepherd Nathaniel Ahn's house and expelled his 10-month pregnant wife (Ee-Sook Ahn), three year old son (Daniel), 14-month old daughter (Ee-Sook) to Kyomoon, Kyungki-do without shepherd Nathaniel Ahn. Seeing what you did to shepherd Nathaniel Ahn, we can not respect, love and obey you.

You announced that shepherd Nathaniel Ahn was qualified to be your successor. He might be deluded by Satan for a while. Nonetheless, was it permissible for you to take advantage of a weak pregnant woman and children in order to accomplish your goal? You sent shepherds Moses Kim, Isaac Koh, and Kil-Soo Kim to occupy Hanyang chapter by force while shepherd Nathaniel Ahn was out of town. You hurt the brothers and sisters in Hanyang chapter who recently accepted Jesus. Jesus said, "If anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea." (Matthew 18:6) Jesus said, "The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep." (John 10:11)

The work of the Holy Spirit is to be one heart and will. Could your untruthful acts be justified even if your acts were for the training of shepherd Nathaniel Ahn and for the ministry of God? How many times did you teach us that Satan used weak persons based on Genesis 3 and John 8? Your responsibility is to be a peacemaker. You, however, made shepherds Moses Kim, Isaac Koh, Kil-Soo Kim enemies of each other for your strategy. During the last 10 years, you led several shepherds to believe that they would be your successor in order to make them subject to you. You broke the friendship among leaders. Shepherds Jonah Kim, Joseph Lee, Nathaniel Ahn, Matthew Sohn all have the training to be your successor. They all agree that your acts are non-biblical. Can it be said that we are proud and low-level though we are already over 35 years old and have served the UBF ministry for 10 years? You might say that shepherd Nathaniel Ahn and all other shepherds are rebellious against you and are led by Satan. Nonetheless, it is not right for you to think that you have the right to do such murderous acts. You always have served the UBF ministry based on your spiritual philosophy that God's ministry can kill and manipulate people like Moses and Samuel did. You said before that it is all right for Jonah Kim to commit suicide in order for Joseph Lee to be your successor. You recently excommunicated Joseph Lee. You tried to eliminate Nathaniel Ahn this time. How can we believe that you are not going to eliminate shepherds Man-Suk Chang and Paul Lee?

Based on your deeds, we don't think that you learned from Jesus, Moses, and David. Moses killed many people who served idols. He, however, forgave Aaron, his closest coworker (Exodus 32). Did Moses pray for his people by laying his life as a security? Even when Miriam and Aaron talked against Moses, Moses did not give them training or revenge. Instead, God judged them (Numbers 12). Is there anything wrong for us to say that you, the servant of God, judge people because, you think you are equal to God? King David fled when his son, Absalom, rose in revolt (2 Samuel 15). He let God judge. How sorrowful David was when God judged Absalom! Didn't the father in Luke 15 want his prodigal son to repent and come back home? Jesus once rebuked Peter as Satan because of his human thoughts. Did Jesus visit again his disciples who betrayed him and serve them by love (John 21)? Apostle Paul served people with humility and tears (Act 20). Why couldn't you talk with us and help us even though we are wrong? We have never been against you for 10 years. How could we trust you as spiritual father and serve the ministry of God with you if you do not listen to us just one time?

We have wrongfully thought you are the spiritual father of UBF. You take advantage of your authority as the spiritual father, teacher and leader of UBF. However, God, our lord, is the only father, teacher and master. We are all brothers (Matthew 23:8-11). We understand that you should be respected as a spiritual father to establish spiritual order. Saint Paul also called Timothy son. The equality in UBF is, however, broken. Under the broken equality, calling you a spiritual father leaves UBF members in the relation of master and servant. You are nothing but a cult leader because you tried to become God. As a result, Satan works in UBF in several areas. We cannot but conclude that your words and deeds are tied up to the evil spirit of lying, killing, and fear (Roman 8:15).

Shepherd Lee! You might think that we lead a rebellion against you for political reasons or we are Satan led by one shepherd. We, including you, should repent together before God. You know well that UBF becomes a problem as a cult in our society. You made an excuse saying that UBF is strict. You also criticize the religious leaders. Why, then, do you flatter them by spending money inviting them? We cannot but think that you flatter them because you fear the disclosure of UBF's wrongdoing.

We will not keep silent about all the evil in the name of God's glory. We will not allow the evil ministry that idolizes you and manipulates our sheep. We pray that you repent and resign from UBF. This is the only way to restore the ministry of UBF for the glory of God. We are going to wholeheartedly pray for you. Please pray for us that we might continue to serve the ministry of God. We sincerely pray that the Lord of Lords, the righteous God, may win the victory.

April 15, 1976

Samuel H. Lee
Barnabas Chang
Peter Suh
Nathaniel Ahn
Matthew Sohn
Joseph Lee
Jonah Kim

This is a part of document from 1976 first UBF reform movement.

Ministry directions of UBF

UBF should be the ministry that God may use after solving the problems mentioned above. We suggest the following ministry directions based on the Bible. We want to change the regulations of UBF based on the following directions.

Main direction: The Holy Spirit instead of one person should lead ministry. The agenda should be discussed and determined together.

1. System

(1) Identical man-made system should be changed to creative and independent system that respects the ministry of local chapters (Ephesians 2:21,22).
(2) Each chapter is led under each chapter director's responsibility. UBF discussion committee should be organized.
(3) Abroad chapters are independently administrated. Offering money for missionaries' education and training should be sent to the main accounting department (Romans 15:25,26). Missionary sends offering to his home chapter by his own will.

2. Enforcement of committee

The function of committees should be reinforced to establish budget, audit, inspect accounting, and administer personnel (Act 20:28).

3. Separation of administration: Administration personnel will control budget, accounting and auditing.
(Currently, the president of leaders has controlled accounting even though he should concentrate on the prayer and the ministry of the word.) (Act 6:3-6)

4. Education of shepherds and missionaries: Impersonal physical training should be stopped and education should concentrate on spiritual inspiration. (1 Timothy 4:7,8)

5. Administration of personnel: Personnel administration committee should maintain the administration of personnel. (Currently, the president of leaders decides and maintains the administration of personnel.) (Act 1:15-26)

6. Protection of private life: The family of shepherds and laymen should not be inhibited by anybody for any reason.

Juan F. (former Chicago UBF)

2007-12-27T20:25:00.000-08:00

(Posted at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ubfmexico/)

March 4, 2007

My UBF Experience (Or They Wanted to Dupe Me and They Failed)

By Juan F.

Part 1

In Chicago, I started my freshman year at Northeastern IL University back in the fall of 1990. I was a young energetic man, full of academic conquest in my mind. All I had on my mind was to study and become a better student than I was in Roosevelt High School. I was not a bad student in high school but I wasn't the best. I wanted to be better and in college the stakes were so much higher (no pun intended). Before I went to UNI (as it was referred back then) I already had my experiences in various religious groups trying to convert me to their cult like ways (such as the Jehovah's Witnesses). But I was also a self taught student of the bible. Even though I had no affiliation with any major or minor churches I loved to read the bible and its stories. When you do that God himself gives you wisdom to discern the truth. It is harder for anyone to be duped by these cults. It is not impossible, it is just a little bit harder for them to do that. During my freshman year I was too busy trying to assimilate to the new school environment. My first year was a test, could I manage it or not? No one from my family had ever gone to college, I was the first. During my second year around the campus, I started to see some Korean missionaries talking to students. I did not know who they were or who they represented. I thought it was a nice gesture because they were preaching the word of God or so I thought. I did not know they were actually preaching the word of Samuel Lee.

It was probably around 1992 when missionary Joseph Ahn approached me while I was in the university library. It must have been in the spring. He spoke Spanish and was very presentable, mild manner. He invited me to one of UBF's spring conferences. He gave me a form to fill out and said that it would cost around 30 dollars (if my memory serves me correctly) to attend. I told him right of the bat that I wasn't really interested, and that I saw no reason why I needed to complete the form with all of my personal information¿furthermore why did I need to pay a church service? Does God need my money? In order to convince me he told me that he would pay. I could have cared less. I also told him that he was wasting his time and that I was not interested in going. A relationship of mine had been broken by the Jehovah's Witnesses tenement back in high school, which was still fresh in my memory, so I was not in the mood to entertain any other church representative.

Then I started to work in the NEIU Art Gallery. Yeah, some of you might remember me. I sat in the gallery between classes to guard the art work. Unfortunately when you are exposed to the public like that you can't avoid solicitors, and Joseph Ahn was very persistent. This was a red flag. My mistake was that I was too diplomatic, and you can't do that with these cults. You have to be real firm. Even though I never asked for it, he made it a point to always share the ever infamous ONE WORD with me. Later I found out that I was a number in their long list of tallies. That is why he would always share his one word. It was not really to share the Gospel, or save a soul. It was to gain numbers. Maybe at some point of UBF's history they did do that, but over the years they lost focus and it turned into a numbers game. And later I found out that the true purpose for studying the bible with him was so that sooner or later I would succumb and become a missionary for UBF. Not for God, but for UBF. But one thing UBF had was patience. Every time he met me he would invite me to the Artesian Ave, church (headquarters) for Sunday worship. He started to stress that Sunday was a very holy day and that people needed to go to church no matter what they were doing. I was not convinced because first of all, historically speaking, the Sabbath was on Saturdays until the Holy Roman Church changed that, and then everyone else adopted it, so furthermore, I told him that while he was on earth Jesus was accused by the Pharisees of violating the Sabbath too. Anyway to make a long story short I slowly accepted going to these meetings and studying the bible with Joseph. For my part one thing that was missing in my life was a clear direction of who Jesus and God were. Even though I had all of this knowledge of the bible because I was self taught, I also had all this knowledge about other religions such as Islam. So I had a very difficult and internal struggle about which was the right religion¿Christianity, Hinduism, Islam, or Buddhism? As the years progressed my struggle was just between Christianity and Islam. Where would my heart lead me? I needed to find out the truth and in retrospect maybe I allowed myself to go to UBF to get a better idea about where God wanted me to go.

To my credit no matter how many times I was invited to conferences, bible studies, or Sunday worship services I never allowed myself to be manhandled by this group. Joseph will attest that I was a real struggle for him, giving him plenty of headaches and maybe caused him to loose a few hairs. The first time I went to their church I was disgusted by Samuel Lee. There he was sitting on a fancy golden chair as if he was God. I though to myself: what the h--- is this crap? This was not a notion of a humble Jesus. Joseph would always stress that I should were a tie and long sleeve shirt because I would look more presentable. I would always reply: Did Jesus wear a three piece suit? Emiliano Zapata, Mexican Revolutionary hero said that: A monkey in a three piece suit is still a monkey. I was always questioning the reasons they would choose certain things that were not in accordance with the bible. And I never wore a tie and shirt to the Sunday services. The real danger in these cults is that the more they expose you to repetitive teachings and mannerism; you start to let your defenses down. I noticed that many people who were members or followers had suffered tremendously in life and as a refuge they sought comfort in UBF. A lion in sheep's clothing for sure. Or is that a wolf in sheep's clothing? (I'm being sarcastic.) The first time I went to Michigan State University back in 1995 (I think) for their annual world conference, I was blown away by the sheer size of the school. To entice me Joseph would tell me that the university was like this and like that and that if people went they would do this and that. It was all baloney!! Once you set foot on their conferences there is no down time. If there is it is only to eat and go to the washroom. My first time at MSU I did not follow the set schedule. This approach of theirs was reminiscent of the Baptists that would preach to children in the Albany Park neighborhood. The Baptists would entice children to go to Indiana in their yellow school buses to get a goldfish and at the end of the day you got no fish! This was another red flag. It was a very controlling experience. But like I said I did not follow their schedule. I only went to their huge gathering when the cultural dances began. I wanted to see my Mexican brothers and sisters blow the roof of that auditorium.

I thank God it did not go their way. The more I became involve in UBF, the more I did not want to be a part of them. And then a few years later, the fan was hit with some funky stuff. It was the RSQUBF explosion. I read about what I always had suspected. That is probably why I never got too deep with UBF. Some of their teachings were troubling. Once my suspicions were confirmed by RSQUBF testimonies, I was ready to confront Joseph Ahn. It was a long time coming...

Epilogue: Before I go any further, I just want to attest that I am a Christian, non-denominational. It is very important for me to say this. After years of searching for the truth in all of the wrong places, like the Apostle Paul, everything had been made clear to me. I had seen the light. No more was I in search for the truth. There are some real good healthy churches, but most of the ones I encountered here in Chicago, IL have very dubious teachings, yet they are far better than UBF or GASP!!...Islam. I don't really know what is worst: Islam or UBF. With both you lose your total freedom and become sub-human. I thank God for his saving grace. Christ has set me free in every sense of the word and I give glory to God and his only begotten savior, Jesus the Christ. Amen! Till next time for part 2.

G. Lewis (former Western Illinois U. UBF)

2007-12-16T09:08:00.000-08:00

(Posted at http://voy.com/60734 in 2004.)

Date Posted: 19:16:35 08/17/04 Tue
Author: E
Subject: Trying to Leave UBF at *IU

I have decided to leave the *IU chapter of UBF. However I have tried unsuccessfully to leave before. I hope to stay strong in my conviction this time and leave permanently.

The problem is that half of my worldly possessions are being stored by a UBF missionary. This missionary has made veiled threats regarding rape and death toward me. I am considering not trying to reclaim any of the things at this man's house. Unfortunately, this will mean not getting back hundreds of dollars worth of possessions

If you have any advice for me regarding this issue please respond.

Thank You

E

Date Posted: 21:02:20 08/17/04 Tue
Author: E
Subject: Re: Trying to Leave UBF at *IU
In reply to: PSUDAB 's message, "Re: Trying to Leave UBF at *IU" on 20:47:37 08/17/04 Tue

Thank you for you sympathy PSUDAB

> "the rape is altogether bizarre. Either one should send up HUGE red flags."
Agreed. I was shocked when the incident in question took place. That is when I realized that I absolutely had to leave UBF permanently. I am afraid of naming the missionary and the small chapter by name.

The problem is that I have already refused to attend the last two conferences and any testimony sharing meetings for quite awhile. That maybe the reason that the missionary was so upset with me.

I have thought about slowly taking back my possessions but I do not have a car or any friends or family willing to help me retrieve my belongings that are outside UBF. I am hoping to be able to get my things back without any argument but I am very anxious about the whole situation.

In Christ,
E

Date Posted: 10:16:48 08/18/04 Wed
Author: E
Subject: Re: you need police assistance
In reply to: Nick T. 's message, "you need police assistance" on 09:17:51 08/18/04 Wed

Alright, let me try to explain more clearly about the veiled threats.

This Korean UBF missionary told me a story about a woman missionary who lived in Africa and was raped by someone who attended the church she founded. He then went on to say that he wished that what happened to that African missionary would happen to me. This was during One to One Bible Study in his house. There was no one else at home at that time. When I realized what the nature of the story was going to be I made it perfectly clear that I did not want to hear this story. After all what does a rape story have to do with Bible Study. He insisted on telling me the story anyway. Forcing me to listen in and of it self is a form of mental abuse. We were not studying the usual Genesis or John chapter but Revelations 2:10. "Be faithful unto death..." The missionary at the time seemed to be trying to mask feelings of great anger. He had many reasons to be angry with me.

1. I refused to register for the Easter Conference and did not attend.
2. I refused to register for the up coming MSU conference. And obviously had no intention of attending.
3. I have been in UBF for three years and do not regularly write testimonies or attend testimony sharing meetings.
4. I do not refer to UBF people by their titles.
5. I have a Christian family and was a Christian before attending UBF.
6. etc.

This was our last Bible Study of the year my things were already going to be put in his possession because I could not find another storage place. His house of course is off campus.

Date Posted: 13:08:52 08/30/04 Mon
Author: E
Subject: Re: did you get your stuff?
In reply to: Nick T. 's message, "did you get your stuff?" on 11:16:47 08/26/04 Thu

Yes, I got everything back all by myself.

The police talked to the UBF at WIU and they have made no contact with me since. I cannot tell you what the UBF said to the police but I am sure they did not acknowledge any wrong doing on their part. Because no arrests were made.

I can tell you that they are not having SWS in the Student Union at least this week.

I am in counseling and will see a MD for a check up this week.

I am doing very well now that this has been settled to the fullest extent of the law.

Thank You for asking,

E

Date Posted: 19:13:30 09/01/04 Wed
Author: E
Subject: Trying to Leave UBF at WIU
In reply to: E 's message, "Trying to Leave UBF at *IU" on 19:16:35 08/17/04 Tue

The situation has yet to be fully resolved by campus police.

There was another incident today. The [UBF] Student president Nick [Kreida] followed me into a computer lab on campus. I notified Campus police and they told me that the situation is still being investigated ...

I also was able to let a girl they were trying to fish know that she should stay away from that group. She thanked me and went on her way.

Les L. (former Georgia UBF)

2007-12-14T13:36:00.000-08:00

(Posted at http://community.livejournal.com/rsqubf/128179.html.)

Hi all,

I think that I might be one of the original American members of UBF, because when I joined back in 1977, there were only a handful of Americans. I think we had 20 or 30 at the first Summer Conference in St. Catherines, Ontario at Brock University (Summer of '77 ?). I ended up going to at least 7 of those. And that was a LONG drive from Atlanta, GA. every Summer. I met Sarry Barry and Samuel Lee several times. I was 'famous', because I was the first sheep in Georgia. I was called the 'Abraham of Atlanta'. My 'bio' has more information. I remember a Toledo mini-conference in '79?, and I spent a week in Chigago in the early '80's for a Romans study.

I guess I was just too rebelious and too much of a free thinker to stay indefinitely. Also, my 'calling' from God, from the very first till now, has been 'cult apologetics', so I learned that many of the things that was happening to me in UBF just couldn't be right. (even though it took 12 yrs. for me to leave). I never considered UBF a cult, just a 'spiritually abusive' group. Also, their theology was very shallow, and I wanted to get into the deeper things of God.

It wasn't until I was asked to leave, however, that I left. That was because I married a woman that my shepard was against. He told me that she would lead me astray, but because I married her anyway, he asked me to leave. I did not have enough 'faith' to go to Korea and marry, as they were strongly suggesting. Even Samuel Lee told me that I should go there and marry a woman of faith with the same life goals as me (UBF). But as I said, I was a rebellous youth, and I just couldn't put my life into someone else's hand like that. That was over 18 yrs. ago, and my wife and I are still happily married and she is a very spiritual woman!

I was the only American in that small group in Atlanta that stayed consistently through the 12 years that I was there. Others would come but then they would go. No American stayed with us over 1 or 2 yrs., but I really thought that God wanted me there, though I really disliked it there, and hated the Sunday services. I was constantly bombarded with letters and presents from members in Korea, especially around Christmas. I also went to a Pentecostal church, and became involved in some countercult ministries in Atlanta. This led to more and more dissatisfaction with UBF.

UBF was instrumental in causing the divorce of my first wife from me. She couldn't handle all of the Bible studies, and my devotion to the group. She put up with it for 6 months and left me. It was my 2nd wife that I married 5 yrs. later that I wrote about above, that I am still happily married to.

Though UBF did have some detrimental effects on me (some that still linger), it was instrumental in helping me to find God and get saved. Only a 'shepard' like I had could have stuck with me in all of my rebellousness until I gave in to God and learned who Jesus Christ was. It was the last thing that I would have pursued on my own.

And the group's insistence on Bible study and digestion ot the passages has led to a pretty good basis for all that I remember now, and I do believe that they gave me a GOOD foundation of the Bible.

Even though I had been out of UBF for around 15 yrs., back in 2003 I found out where my old UBF 'shepherd' was living. He had got out of UBF also, and is now attending a Korean church in Savannah, GA. He got very disillusioned after trying in vain to keep UBF going in Atlanta, and I was the only one who would stay. I think that sometime after I left, he probably just quit and moved. He was friendly on the phone and invited me out to visit anytime. One day, I'll have to go visit him.

I am VERY curious if there are any members or ex members of UBF from that time period, that might remember me. Please respond. My personal email is: lonsdale@afyarns.com

Thanks,
Les L.
'Abraham of faith' from Atlanta

Mike L. (former Akron UBF)

2007-12-11T18:19:00.000-08:00

Mike L.

(This was the last sogam shared by Mike L. as a member of the Akron, OH chapter of UBF. See the Update at the end.)

I Must Obey God Rather Than Men

Acts 5:29

“Peter and the other apostles replied, 'We must obey God rather than men.'”

My name is Mike L. I am sharing this testimony on Friday, September 10, 2004. I was born in Canton, Ohio and currently live in Akron, Ohio. I am a PhD student at the University of Akron, majoring in Public Administration. God has blessed me to receive a Bachelors Degree in Secondary Education and a Masters Degree in Economics from the University of Akron. For the previous seven and one-half years I have attended Akron University Bible Fellowship (UBF). I served as a campus Shepherd in Akron UBF. In this testimony, I want to think about God's work, in my past, present, and future. Generally, we write this type of testimony at the beginning of each year. However, God has laid it on my heart to write a special testimony to share this evening.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for sending Jesus as my Lord and Savior. Thank you for your grace and mercy to die on the cross for my sins and rise from the grave three days later. Through Christ, I am free from living a sinful, worthless life. Instead, I am able to live for Christ everyday. I pray that I may live for Christ each day. Thank you for the opportunity to share this testimony. I pray in Jesus' Name, AMEN.

Part One - God's Work in my Life Through Akron UBF.

In December of 1996, I was involved in a group Bible study with St. Paul's United Methodist Church in Canton, Ohio and another local Methodist church. The group Bible study was for high school and college age young people. Due to lack of interest in the Bible study, it was cancelled. In fact, I was the only person who was still desirous to participate in the Bible study. I realized that I needed Bible study in my life. I wanted to grow spiritually and learn God's word more deeply. At this point, I prayed for God to lead me to a new Bible study. In January 1997, while I was sitting in the University of Akron library, M. Isaac Kim invited me to study the Bible with him one-to-one. M. Isaac Kim and his wife, M. Rebekah, were missionaries from Korea. They had come from Korea to serve in Toledo UBF in 1977. M. Isaac quit his good job in Toledo to move to Akron to establish a church. In August, 1996, they came to Akron to teach the Bible and raise disciples among University of Akron students. I accepted this invitation as an answer to my prayers. One-to-one Bible study with M. Isaac was very good. He provided question sheets to use for each study. Our first study was in Mark 6. We studied the rest of Mark's gospel in 1997. I received God's word through each Bible study.

In April 1997, M. Isaac invited me to attend an Easter Bible Conference with Toledo UBF. I enjoyed this conference. I always enjoy hearing the message of Jesus' death and resurrection. Also, I met M. Isaac's wife, M. Rebekah and their two sons, Paul and Jacob. At that time, they were the only members of Akron UBF. Despite the small numbers, there was a clear desire to preach the gospel to University of Akron student and to raise disciples in Akron UBF. In August of 1997, Art and Rhoda Belcher came to cowork with M. Isaac and M. Rebekah in Akron. They have three children, Peter, Paul, and Becky. S. Art gave up a high paying job in Toledo and incurred much debt to come to Akron. In 1998, M. Mary Kwak came to Akron on a visitors VISA. She stayed for eighteen months and returned to Korea in the Spring of 2000. M. Mary married M. Joshua Min in April of 2001. In July, M. Joshua and Mary Min returned to Akron as M. Mary was blessed with a permanent work VISA. They have one child, Grace, born January 10, 2003 and are expecting another child. Along with these coworkers, God has blessed me to meet and make good friends in Akron UBF. They include: Stephen Childs, Rock Mendenhall, Josh Jacobisin, Mike Wagner, Jung-Sek Seo, and Christina Zhou. I also developed good relationships with many other church members in Toledo, Columbus, Washington, D.C., Kansas City, Chicago, Eau Claire, Detroit, Canada, and China.

When I look back over the past seven and one-half years, there are many reasons for which I am thankful to God for using University Bible Fellowship (UBF).

First, through Bible study and conferences, I learned the importance of having a world mission vision. Previously, I at best vaguely prayed for the gospel to be preached throughout the world. There are many countries in this world where the gospel is prohibited and people are persecuted severely for preaching the gospel. I realize the importance of praying for the gospel to be preached throughout the world. Currently, I pray that missionaries may be sent to Iraq. I pray that Iraq may become a Christian nation in the Middle East and be used to send missionaries throughout the Middle East. I pray for the gospel to be preached in all of the Muslim countries throughout the world. (Unfortunately, the world mission vision does not encompass the entire world. The vision is to teach the Bible only to college students. Further, the vision is to raise disciples for UBF. The priority turns out not to be Bible study, but molding people into what UBF believes them to be.)

Second, I learned that preaching the gospel is enhanced through developing a personal relationship with people. Previously, I did not think about the importance of making friends with people when I preach the gospel. Of course, God wants me to be ready to preach the gospel to anyone at anytime, regardless of whether I can be friends or never speak to them again. Nevertheless, to preach the gospel, developing a friendship is important. Jesus developed a friendship with his disciples as he preached the gospel to them, calling them friends in John's gospel. When I have taught the Bible 1:1 to college students, I attempted to make friends with the students when we study the Bible. (Personal relationships are important when preaching the gospel. However, the personal relationship fostered with Bible study in UBF is an unhealthy shepherd-sheep relationship. The shepherd teaches the sheep and is charged with raising the sheep up as a shepherd. The shepherd ranks higher than the sheep and thus the sheep must consider the shepherd to always be correct. The good sheep in UBF obey every direction from the shepherd and do not ask questions. There is no room in the relationship for the shepherd to be wrong in his relationship with the sheep. If the sheep disagrees with the shepherd, the sheep is considered a burden to the shepherd. My relationships with Isaac and Rebekah Kim and Art and Rhoda Belcher were unhealthy throughout my years in UBF. I had to accept that they knew God's will for me in all circumstances. I was told that questioning anything that they said or did was being disobedient to God's servants whom God placed as spiritual leaders for me. I was rebuked for asking them to verify their statements to me with scripture. This was meant with much rebuke.)

Third, coworking. I learned the importance of working together with others in church. The opportunities I received to co-work with fellow Akron UBF members taught me how to better relate to people. Conferences especially provided an important time in which to co-work together. In Akron UBF, our members came together to perform dances, sing in choirs, share testimonies, perform mono-dramas, and deliver messages. I am especially thankful for the opportunities to dance at conferences. The fact that a tall, overweight, unathletic, uncoordinated klutz like myself could dance in front of hundreds of people was encouraging to me. (I learned that working with other people is necessary, but I did not learn what the Kims and Belchers hidden messages were. Coworking in UBF is not defined as a group of people working together on equal terms. True coworking is when everyone contributes ideas respects the ideas of others. Coworking in UBF requires strict adherence to the spiritual order. UBF defines good coworkers as those who obey direction from someone higher on the spiritual order. Isaac and Rebekah never cared about my ideas or contribution to an activity beyond following their direction. If I did what they wanted without question, I was a good coworker. If not, I was a bad coworker.)

Of course, most co-working involves the day-to-day serving within the church. God used my serving in this small, pioneering ministry to struggle with relationships with other church members. I have made many mistakes over the past 7 and ½ years in dealing with people. I have become angry many times. One time I was so angry with other church members that I punched a hole in the wall of one of the Bible study rooms. On two different occasions, I screamed at M. Mary during an argument. I cursed at S. Art during a Bible study in 1999. I slammed my hand against M. Joshua's dashboard when I was angry about the traffic. I also hurt S. Art and demeaned our Bible study by calling him a C- Bible teacher. In addition, I am late to many meetings. I am rarely responsible enough to be on time. I have repented for all of these sins and made Amends in for each of these sins. (I paid for the repair and repainting of the wall. I apologized for each mistake I made.) Further, I learned from each of them how to relate with others without becoming angry, loud, and destructive.

Fourth, I learned about the importance of daily prayer, meditation, and Bible study. In the past, I only prayed when I did something wrong or something great happened. I read the Bible sporadically. God used UBF to provide an example of daily prayer, meditation, and Bible study. M. Isaac prays everyday at 5:30AM. It is important to pray continually (1 Thess. 5:16-18). Currently, I pray to wake up every morning at 5AM to pray. If I over sleep, I still want to wake up and pray to God regarding the coming day. In addition, I pray to read the Bible everyday and to read the entire Bible in one year. Daily Bible reading and meditation reminds me of the gospel (1 Cor 15:1). It is tempting to forget about God and simply spend the day doing what I want. But, I pray that I may spend the day doing what God wants. (In UBF, daily prayer is regimented with requirements to strictly adhere to the prayer topics given by the leader. Prayer should be a time when we can freely seek God. In UBF, prayer was a time to bottle God into the prescribed prayer topics. These topics included one million missionaries sent out from America in the 21st century, 120 flock of sheep in Akron UBF, and America to be a kingdom of priests and a holy nation. These prayer topics seem good on the surface, but there was little or no room for the personal struggles of UBF members. The only prayers UBF members prayed about themselves dealt with how many sheep to fed, fishing, raising disciples, and for how many attendants at the next UBF conference. People live dynamic lives that go beyond their church activities and should be encouraged to pray much deeper than for church numbers and church activity.

Part Two - My UBF Shepherd Life

There were positive aspects of Akron UBF. However, Akron UBF church leaders mistreated me. This is what I learned from the mistreatment made by Akron UBF toward me.

I began teaching the Bible to University of Akron college students in May of 1998. There are a number of people I have taught over the years. Those that I have studied with for more than one year include: Tommy, Mario, Jongman, and Kyuk Hyun. When I began teaching the Bible to college students one-to-one, I thought that I should give direction to students. I wanted to follow the shepherding style that I observed from my shepherds: particularly M. Isaac, M. Rebekah, and S. Art. I thought that as a shepherd, I should encourage sheep to follow my direction. I thought that my idea for the sheep must be the best. One student named Kyuk Hyun Kim studied the Bible with me for about two years. He came from Korea to study Polymer Engineering. He studied the Bible faithfully with me. In addition, he was a committed member of a Korean church. He wanted to serve new Korean students coming to the University of Akron. His church wanted to preach the gospel to Korean students and provide a network of friends to help new students adjust to life in a foreign country. He wanted to study with me to have Christian fellowship and improve his stuttering problem. However, I thought that he had to come to Akron UBF to cowork with me. I thought that if he was going to study the Bible with me he had to eventually come to church with me and serve in my church. Instead of realizing that it was a blessing to study with Kyuk Hyun, I thought that it was a burden. Instead of realizing that we were two Christian brothers coming together to encourage each other in God's word, I thought I had to make him my disciple. This may of thinking was wrong. I should have accepted Kyuk Hyun as a Christian brother from another church who wanted to study the Bible and have fellowship. I repented for this poor attitude and prayed that anyone God allows to study the Bible with me is a blessing. I should study with them as long as God wants to bring them to Bible study, even if they want to serve at another church than mine.

I also learned that I should not impose my ideas on sheep. Rather, a sheep-shepherd relationship requires that as a shepherd, I focus on the forgiveness of Jesus Christ of our sins. My Bible Student [Author's Note: My Bible Student is used to protect the identity of an innocent victim of Akron UBF] studied the Bible with M. Isaac beginning in the summer of 1997. He was in and out of Akron UBF and also studied with S. Art and M. Rebekah. In January of 2002, M. Isaac asked me to study one-to-one with My Bible Student. I had observed that UBF shepherds want to train sheep to help them grow as disciples. I had been specifically trained in 1999 regarding my testimonies and in 2000 I went to Toledo to receive training. At this point, I will not go into details about each training. The point here is that I learned that as a shepherd I should train sheep. Therefore, I wanted to train My Bible Student. M. Isaac, M. Rebekah, S. Art, and S. Rhoda had stated how their hearts were filled with Christ's love to train me to be a campus shepherd (a priestly and holy nation). I prayed that I may train My Bible Student to be a campus shepherd. Because of My Bible Student going in and out of the ministry under extreme circumstances, when he had wanted to come back to Bible study, he had previously been trained by M. Isaac and S. Art that he could not simply return and participate in every activity. Instead, he would have to begin by faithfully studying 1:1. Then, he could come to the worship service. After faithful worship service attendance and Bible study, he could share a testimony. I thought that this would be a good idea when I studied with him. Previously, B., my Bible student had left the ministry numerous times to indulge in sin and then would return and want to be treated as if nothing happened. I wanted to impart upon him the importance of being faithful to Bible study and other church activities. I would begin by teaching the Bible one-to-one to him. I would instruct him that if he was not faithful to Bible study he would be out of the ministry. I developed a plan regarding My Bible Student's training and met with the M. Isaac and M. Rebekah and S. Art and S. Rhoda to discuss it. They approved. My plan was that My Bible Student could study the Bible with me 1:1 on the University of Akron (UA) campus. He could not come to the UBF church. Then, after faithful Bible study, he could begin coming to the worship service. Then, after faithfully coming to the worship service, he could attend the Friday testimony sharing. After faithfully attending the Friday testimony sharing meeting, he could share testimonies. In God's time, My Bible Student would be raised as a campus shepherd. I arrogantly thought that if I loved him enough, prayed for him enough, and served him enough My Bible Student would be moved to turn from his sinful life and live for Christ. My Bible Student could not meet this standard. After about six weeks of Bible study, My Bible Student began to miss Bible study appointments to indulge in sin. (I do not want to discuss his personal sins.) I told him that if he missed one more Bible study, he would be expelled from our church. (The M. Isaac and M. Rebekah and S. Art and S. Rhoda approved that I give My Bible Student this direction. My Bible Student missed a Bible study to indulge in sin. In April of 2002, I called him and told him that he was expelled from UBF. Throughout this time, I was burdened by My Bible Student's mistakes. I thought that I was such a loving, sacrificial shepherd. I thought that I had given him my best and that it was right to expel him.

Part Three - The Worst UBF Abuse

Personally, 2002 was the worst year of my life. On January 20, 2002, four days before my parents' 31st wedding anniversary, my Mom decided to separate from my Dad. Moreover, she did not tell me where she lived for three months after she moved. I barely saw her. Our family only found out where she lived because she wanted to install cable and Time Warner called my Dad's house by mistake. She had been living with another man since the night she left my Dad. This hurt me very deeply. My Mom barely talked to me. Our relationship was terrible. I was developing a hatred for her. I prayed that God might restore our relationship.

In addition, I was discouraged about my shepherd life. Not only did My Bible Student stop studying with me, but the five sheep I had studied with consistently in 2001 stopped studying the Bible with me. Two graduated and moved away, two decided not to accept Christ as their Savior, and the other was the previously mentioned Kyuk Hyun. I could not find anyone who wanted to study the Bible. I was discouraged about my mission life.

In addition, had graduated with an M.A. in Economics and was entering a new PhD program in Public Administration. I was concerned about whether I could succeed.

By the summer of 2002, all of these issues were weighing heavy on my heart. M. Isaac asked me to share a life testimony at the 2002 Great Lakes Summer Bible Conference. I honestly shared all of these unresolved issues in my testimony. I prayed that God might restore my relationship with my Mom, that I may have desire to preach the gospel to college students, and that God may strengthen me to work hard in my PhD studies. Generally, life testimonies end with some type of resolution. However, I could not share about any resolution because I was in the middle of the struggle. Also, M. Luke Hong from Montreal said that my testimony was too long. He asked me to shorten it. I attempted to shorten it, but I could not explain my struggles and prayer topics with any fewer words. I did not share a longer testimony because I had pride in myself. Honestly, I shared my testimony before God as a prayer. After I shared the testimony, numerous people stated that they liked my testimony. S. Art thought that I shared a good testimony. However, M. Isaac and M. Rebekah did not like my testimony. They told me afterwards that they were embarrassed by it. They stated that they were embarrassed because I did not focus my testimony on how sacrificial and loving M. Isaac and M. Rebekah were. I had previously thanked M. Isaac and M. Rebekah many times (in every Friday testimony). I was not struggling with this issue. I wrote in my testimony the issues in which I was struggling and I asked for prayer support.

When we returned from the conference, M. Isaac told me that my testimony revealed that I was proud and that I needed to be trained. He told me to rewrite the testimony. Further, that I should submit to testimony training. I did not understand this training. When I asked M. Isaac to explain why I needed to be trained, he said that I was proud. I asked him why he thought I was proud. He did not give me any reason. Instead, he said that my asking him why he thought I was proud revealed my pride. I did not understand what he thought I had pride in. I do not consider anything I have as a product of my own ability. I give God the credit for everything I do. In every victory, my source of strength and my source of hope is Christ alone. M. Isaac did not listen to me. Instead, he continued to state that I was proud. I wrote my testimonies and submitted them to M. Isaac. I wrote what I received from the scripture. I continued to pray about my Mom, my mission as a campus Shepherd, and my school studies. I thought that he would look at my testimony personally and give me constructive feedback. Instead, he made copies of my testimony and distributed it to S. Art and S. Rhoda and M. Joshua and M. Mary at their group Bible study. They totally disrespected what I received from God. Instead, M. Isaac would meet with me and state that my testimony revealed my pride and that I had to repent of pride. He did not explain why he thought I was proud. I continued to write testimonies based on God's word and on the personal struggles in my life. M. Isaac, M. Rebekah, S. Art, S. Rhoda, M. Joshua, and M. Mary continued to put down my testimony because they expected me to repent of pride that they never explained. By October of 2002, M. Isaac told me that I should not share my testimony on Friday. Yet, they failed to provide any communication. He expected me to repent without explanation of why he thought I had pride. This training did not stop there. M. Isaac, M. Rebekah, S. Art, S. Rhoda, M. Joshua, and M. Mary did not like anything I did. No matter what I said or did, they always found fault. M. Isaac and S. Art said that they no longer wanted me to be in Akron UBF. They said to “Go back to your father's church.”

I refused. I stated that God called me to Akron UBF and that I would not listen to man telling me to leave. M. Isaac and S. Art accepted my desire to remain. They decided that they should give me humbleness training. M. Isaac said that I needed to be disciplined. He asked me to study Hebrews 12 with S. Art and to memorize Hebrews 12. Hebrews 12 focuses on God's discipline. M. Isaac used this scripture to justify his human discipline of me. Then he said that I should write a testimony called What is Your Name based on Mark 5:4 when Jesus asked the man who was possessed by demons 'What is your name?' M. Isaac and S. Art thought that because I asked them to explain why they thought I was proud that I must be demon possessed. I wrote the testimony and concluded that God wants me to be a campus shepherd and that my name is Shepherd Mike L. M. Isaac thought that I needed extensive humbleness training decided to call me Humble Servant Mike. This humbleness training would include setting up chairs at meetings, cleaning the bathroom, greeting everyone by saying hello to everyone at church (M. Isaac said people would purposely ignore my 'hello' as part of my training), and memorizing each Sunday passage to recite on Fridays. In addition, I could not be the last one up from the table during the Friday snack eating time. M. Isaac stated that I was the last one to finish eating all of the time and that it was not good. Regardless of the circumstances, I had to absolutely make sure that I got up before the last person did.

This training was legalistic. M. Isaac, M. Rebekah, S. Art, S. Rhoda, M. Joshua, and M. Mary did not administer training to me based on the gospel. There was no mention of Jesus Christ and his grace, love, compassion, and forgiveness during this time. The light of Jesus was not preached to me. Instead, M. Isaac, M. Rebekah, S. Art, S. Rhoda, M. Joshua, and M. Mary imposed training based on their own human ideas. They did not explain what why I was proud. They only stated that they wanted me to do what they wanted. If I obeyed M. Isaac and M. Rebekah than I would be humble. If not, I was proud. God was not present. They called me proud because I did not want to do what they wanted.

Through this experience, God revealed to me that I had not shown God's love to My Bible Student. Instead, I imposed my own ideas on My Bible Student. I learned this because I was treated by my shepherds the same way I treated My Bible Student. They imposed their human ideas upon me just as I imposed my human ideas upon My Bible Student. In November of 2002, I repented for the way I had treated My Bible Student and the other sheep in which God blessed me. I prayed that if God ever permitted me with the opportunity to teach the Bible to My Bible Student again I would not impose my own human ideas upon him. Instead, I would preach the gospel of Jesus Christ. By God's grace, I invited My Bible Student to the 2002 Christmas worship service. He accepted and then asked me to study the Bible with him. We began Bible study by continuing the study of John that we began previously. I focused on the forgiveness of Christ on the cross. My Bible Student already knew that the punishment for sin is death. In fact, when he sinned, he focused on the punishment and became more discouraged. Therefore, I realized that I should preach the forgiveness of Christ. When you sin, come to Christ, repent, and be forgiven. Do not wallow in sin, but remain in Jesus. I cast aside my ideas and focused on the Bible. This time, I was not burdened by my Bible study with My Bible Student. On the contrary, I consider myself blessed to be able to study with My Bible Student. A terrible sinner like me can be used by God to positively impact someone else's life. Our Bible studies are filled with the power of the Holy Spirit. God blessed My Bible Student to receive a life key verse from John 15:4, “Remain in me and I will remain in you.” The fact that My Bible Student and I can study the Bible means that God's mercy and grace abounds. Without the unsurpassing grace of Jesus, we could not study the Bible together.

I learned that I should not impose my own ideas on others and claim that they are from God. I imposed my own human-centered training that had no basis in the gospel on My Bible Student. When I experienced human-centered training that had no basis in scripture imposed upon me, I realized how terrible I was. In this way, I can see the training given to me by M. Isaac from God's point of view. Through his imposition of human-centered training, I can see how I had imposed human-centered training on others. Jesus said that we reap what we sow. I sowed human-centered no-gospel training and I reaped it from my shepherds.

One might wonder why I stayed in Akron UBF at this point. I prayed many times to God that I wanted to leave. However, God did not reveal to me that it was time to leave. God wanted me to remain. The training experience was horrible. But, I can say that despite the horrible treatment I received from M. Isaac, M. Rebekah, S. Art, S. Rhoda, M. Joshua, and M. Mary, I learned how not to treat my brothers and sisters in Christ. God revealed that placing human ideas in the place of God is always wrong. I now pray to take great care not to treat others the way I was treated in UBF.

Part Three - My Present Situation in UBF

I could discuss the training for dozens of pages. I will summarize by stating that the training ended in May of 2003. Three months previous, in February, S. Art humbly repented to me in our 1:1 Bible study that the training was wrong. He unconditionally asked for my forgiveness. I accepted. At that point, God began to develop a great relationship between us. His family left UBF in May, 2003. Nevertheless, we continue to have a beautiful friendship for which I am very thankful to God.

The fruit of the training regarding the relationships between M. Isaac, M. Rebekah, M. Joshua, and M. Mary was that I was isolated. During this training, M. Isaac, M. Rebekah, M. Joshua, and M. Mary barely spoke to me. They often gave me dirty looks when I entered the church. M. Isaac only spoke to me when he wanted to criticize me for not getting up from the table fast enough, not saying hello loud enough, not having a smile on my face all of the time, or some other legalistic issue. M. Rebekah and M. Mary barely spoke to me at all. They did not have one encouraging one to say to me unless I mentioned that I lost weight. M. Joshua was the only one who was friendly to me between August 2002-May 2003. They did not allow me to share a testimony. They did not include me as a co-worker by allowing me to come to meetings to discuss the ministry. Thus, I was isolated from the rest of the co-workers. I prayed that we may come together. From May of 2003 through April of 2004, God was bringing us together. M. Isaac and I were restoring our relationship. He apologized to me for the training. He encouraged me to honestly discuss all of the pain I had experienced from himself and M. Rebekah. M. Isaac stated that as the leader he was responsible for the problems. M. Isaac told me that the fact that the training was wrong his fault. Further, M. Isaac stated that my isolation within the ministry was his fault because he was the chapter director. M. Isaac stated that he was a poor director who had failed to understand me. We discussed many issues. He stated that he understood my problems and wanted to hear my disagreements.

Over the years, I have had disagreements with M. Isaac and M. Rebekah on many issues. I was not inhibited by our disagreements. Romans chapter 14 and 15 discuss the disagreements among church members. The church members in Rome disagreed over whether they should eat unclean meat or not. Paul stated that the church should not allow disputable matters to come between church members. I thought that M. Isaac and Rebekah and I had disputable disagreements. I was willing to accept M. Isaac and Rebekah's ideas and they could accept my ideas. One of the disagreements that we have concerns prayer. M. Isaac and M. Rebekah pray for their sheep to commit to UBF and be raised as campus shepherds in UBF. The sheep may or may not have the prayer topic themselves. In fact, rarely has any of the UA sheep ever prayed that they be campus shepherds in UBF. When I pray for sheep, I pray that they may be lead by God to serve where God calls them. I have two past examples.

In the Spring of 2003, Stephen (he studied with M. Isaac for four years) was praying about whether to remain in Akron and serve as a UBF campus shepherd or to go to Lutheran seminary in Indiana to become a Lutheran minister. M. Isaac and M. Rebekah prayed that Stephen decide to live as a campus shepherd in Akron. I prayed that Stephen may go where God leads him. Stephen prayed and accepted that God called him to seminary.

In the Spring of 2004, Rock (he studied with M. Isaac for 4 and ½ years) graduated from the University of Akron. He wanted to stay in the Akron-Cleveland area to be near his parents. However, there were not many opportunities in his field in this area. Therefore, Rock prayed for God's leading regarding his future employment. God opened the door for an opportunity in Georgia. Rock flew down to Georgia for the interview. Rock prayed about whether to take the job in Georgia or continue to pursue employment opportunities in the Akron-Cleveland area. M. Isaac and M. Rebekah only prayed that Rock take a job in Akron and be raised as a campus shepherd. I prayed that Rock may choose the job where God leads. Rock prayed about where to go and accepted that God wanted him to take the job in Georgia.

When M. Isaac and M. Rebekah pray for sheep to come to conferences they pray absolutely that the sheep may come to the conference. I pray that the sheep may go to the conference if it is God's will. One example this summer was Chrissy, M. Mary's sheep. Chrissy had gone on a short mission trip in which she served less fortunate persons this summer. She had sacrificed her time and money to attend. Therefore, Chrissy was reluctant to attend another conference. M. Mary, M. Joshua, M. Isaac, and M. Rebekah prayed that Chrissy make a decision to deny herself and attend the UBF International Summer Bible Conference in order to receive God's world mission vision. I also wanted Chrissy to come with us. But, I prayed that I was thankful that God blessed her to service less fortunate persons with the gospel and that if it was God's will, she may attend the Summer Bible Conference.

This summer M. Isaac and M. Rebekah prayed that Jung Sek (she has studied with M. Rebekah for six months, she is a nurse that works with M. Rebekah at the Cleveland Clinic) may move to Akron serve campus mission. Jung Sek has looked at housing in Akron, but has not accepted any place. She is also interested in a place in Shaker Heights (a suburb of Cleveland), which is closer to her work.

Why do I pray that individual sheep go where God leads rather than specifically pray that they remain in Akron UBF as campus shepherds? It is not because I did not want them to be campus shepherds in Akron. In fact, I wanted Stephen, Rock, Jung-Sek, and Christina to remain in Akron. I think they are good people and good friends. I enjoyed the fellowship and co-working opportunities I had with them. However, I cannot simply pray based on my own human desires that I want my friends to remain in the ministry I serve. At the Summer Bible Conference, the title was Your Kingdom Come from the Lord's Prayer. Jesus said in Matthew 6:9-10, “This, then is how you should pray: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” I pray that God's will be done regarding Stephen, Rock, Jung-Sek, Christina, and every other sheep in Akron. If it is God's will that he or she remain in Akron UBF, then that is great. If it is God's will that they go somewhere else, that is great, too. My prayer is that God's will be done. I am not God and I cannot say what God's will is for anyone else. Therefore, when sheep have a decision between two churches, two conferences, or two jobs, I pray that they may seek God's will and choose the church, conference, and job God wants for them.

I was not against UBF and I am certainly not against God with this prayer. I want God's will to be done as Jesus instructed me to pray. However, M. Isaac and M. Rebekah do not accept that my prayer is correct. M. Isaac and M. Rebekah think that my prayer is against Akron UBF. They think that I should only pray for sheep to come to Akron UBF Bible study, worship services, conferences, and only be raised as campus shepherds in Akron UBF.

My prayer is in obedience to God. I love my fellow church members as I love myself. Because I love my friends and I am concerned about their prayer topics. When B. Rock first began to search for a job, he prayed that he may stay in Akron because he wanted to live near his parents. I prayed that if it is God's will, he may stay in Akron. But, later this summer (2004) Rock told me about a job opportunity in Georgia. He asked me to pray for him regarding this job. B. Rock is a sincere man of God. He wants to grow in Christ wherever he is. B. Rock was not against God when he asked me to pray about his job opportunity in Georgia. I could not ignore my friend and reject his prayer request about his job opportunity in Georgia. Stephen also asked me to pray for him regarding whether he should attend Lutheran seminary or remain in Akron UBF. Stephen wanted to do God's work. Therefore, I could not ignore Stephen's prayer request about Lutheran seminary. Rock and Stephen are my friends. I cannot ignore their prayer requests because M. Isaac and M. Rebekah personally want them to stay in Akron.

The fact is that I have prayed for God to work in our ministry for more than 7 years. I desired that Akron UBF be a church that may teach the Bible to many UA students. In M. Isaac's message two weeks previous based on Roman 14, he stated “to develop spiritual unity in the body of Christ we must accept others with a generous heart and not pass judgment on others regarding disputable matters.” M. Isaac also stated that “We do our best to love others in a way that builds them up. Still, misunderstandings arise. At that time, we should not blame others. Instead, we examines (sic) ourselves in the sight of God and finds (sic) our own faults in the matter, regardless of how small it may be.”

As I previously stated, S. Art and I have a great friendship. We do not pass judgment on each other. We accept each other as brothers in Christ. He and I talk every week. We talk honestly and openly about every issue. I discuss every important issue in my life with him. If I ask for his advice, he gives his honest opinion. Contrary to what M. Isaac and M. Rebekah think, S. Art does not just try to make me happy. He speaks honestly. He has made plenty of statements that have not made me happy. S. Art has been a great influence on my life. I am thankful that he is my friend. S. Art was concerned with the fact that I am isolated in Akron UBF and I am not welcomed as a co-worker in the ministry. Therefore, S. Art visited M. Isaac, M. Rebekah, and M. Joshua to discuss the fact that I am isolated. M. Isaac and M. Rebekah made some clear statements about me to S. Art. On Saturday, M. Isaac had a personal discussion with me. The following paragraphs contain what M. Isaac and M. Rebekah have concluded about me.

Last Saturday, M. Isaac invited me over to his house for breakfast after I had finished mowing the church lawn and making copies of the question sheets. During this breakfast, M. Isaac began to discuss with me the fact that I am isolated. He began by discussing the daily bread passage from Psalms 89:38-52. In this passage, the Psalmist cried out to God asking God why the Israelites continued to suffer punishment from God. M. Isaac stated that the Israelites were punished because of their sin. God did not want to harm them, but the Israelites had rejected God and worshipped idols and thus, deserved punishment. God was not the problem. The Israelites were the problem. M. Isaac said that the Israelites had to “solve the problem.” M. Isaac compared the Psalmist to me and he compared God to M. Rebekah and himself. M. Isaac said that he and M. Rebekah did not try to isolate me. The fact that I was isolated is my problem that I have to solve myself. This is in sharp contrast to what M. Isaac had previously told me. As stated, M. Isaac told me that as chapter director it was his responsibility that I was isolated. Now, M. Isaac has decided to reject his responsibility as chapter director and place the responsibility totally upon myself. Over the previous 7 and ½ years M. Isaac has always accepted that any internal conflicts among members, failure to raise disciples, or any problem in Akron UBF was his responsibility. However, M. Isaac appears to have decided to no longer accept his responsibility as the Akron UBF chapter director. M. Rebekah stated that it was my fault that sheep have not remained in Akron. She stated that I was a burden to her and M. Isaac for 7 and ½ years and that because they bore me, sheep left. M. Isaac and M. Rebekah are the founders and directors of Akron UBF. Yet, they impose the responsibility for Akron UBF's lack of members upon myself. I have committed many sins and hurt many people. However, all members should take responsibility for any failings of the ministry, not just one person, especially a person who is not the chapter director. I have repented for any problem I caused any sheep in the past. But, all church members should do the same. (I can name nine persons who have clearly stated that they no longer wanted to remain in Akron UBF because of complaints against M. Isaac, M. Rebekah, M. Joshua, M. Mary, S. Art and/or S. Rhoda.)

Further, M. Isaac is comparing my relationship with him and M. Rebekah to the Psalmists relationship with God. God is perfect in holiness and righteousness. God is the potter and his people are clay. Thus, because God is the perfect creator, I should not disagree with God. I should not question God. I should not conclude that God made a mistake or did something wrong. When I think that God is wrong, I am actually wrong and must repent. For example, if I thought God isolated me, this is false. God is perfect and never would isolate me. I must come to God and repent. M. Isaac and M. Rebekah want me to treat them in the same way I would treat God. When I thought that M. Isaac and M. Rebekah were isolating me, they think that they could not possibly be making any mistake that would isolate me. M. Isaac and M. Rebekah stated that just as I must repent to God if I think God is wrong, I must also repent to M. Isaac and M. Rebekah if I think they are wrong. Thus, M. Isaac and M. Rebekah want me to treat them as if they are God.

Thus, M. Isaac made it abundantly clear how I have to solve the problem of being isolated by M. Isaac and M. Rebekah. M. Isaac said that I have to repent. I have to repent for the different ideas that I have. M. Isaac said that I am “going my own way.” I had to repent for praying that sheep do God's will. I had to repent that I prayed for S. Stephen do God's will regarding whether he goes to seminary or remains in Akron UBF. I have to repent that I prayed for Rock to take the job God wanted. I have to repent that I prayed for Chrissy to go to the Summer Conference if it is God's will. M. Isaac stated that I had to repent for not praying the exact way he and M. Rebekah directed me to pray. M. Isaac said that I could not disagree with M. Isaac and M. Rebekah. The only way I would be unified with them in Akron UBF is to agree with everything they say.

In addition, M. Isaac discussed Romans 14 with me. As previously stated, in M. Isaac's message he stated “to develop spiritual unity in the body of Christ we must accept others with a generous heart and not pass judgment on others regarding disputable matters.” M. Isaac also stated that “We do our best to love others in a way that builds them up. Still, misunderstanding arise. At that time, we should not blame others. Instead, we examines (sic) ourselves in the sight of God and finds (sic) our own faults in the matter, regardless of how small it may be.” God wants people from different backgrounds, cultures, and ideas to come together as one body of Christ. This message stated that we should not condemn each other for our differences. Instead, we should embrace each other. We should bear each others weaknesses the way Christ bore us. I was so happy to hear M. Isaac say this that I said Amen loudly and passionately. (Our church members frequently say Amen. I rarely say Amen, but this time I was inspired by the Holy Spirit). I said Amen because I wanted our ministry to have a welcoming attitude toward each other. I prayed that we may not allow disputable matters to turn us against each other. I especially prayed that M. Isaac and M. Rebekah and I may not use disagreements to hold each other down. I prayed that they may accept my disagreements and that I accept theirs. However, M. Isaac and M. Rebekah stated that I had to repent for saying Amen. They did not like the sound of my voice when I said Amen. I said that I can understand that you did not like the sound of my voice, but I was saying Amen to God and that God accepted it. M. Isaac responded that God did not accept my Amen and that I am ridiculous to think that God would accept my Amen when he and M. Rebekah clearly did not like it.

In fact, M.Isaac summed up why he believes that I have disagreements with he and M. Rebekah. M. Isaac stated that I am worshipping my own Christ. M. Isaac and M. Rebekah are worshipping the true Christ from the Bible, but I am worshipping my own Christ. This is a serious charge. To say that I am worshipping my own Christ means that I am worshipping a false Christ. Christ is God. Therefore, M. Isaac is stating that I am worshipping a false god. Further, those who worship false gods are unbelievers. Thus, M. Isaac stated that I am an unbeliever. After serving in Akron UBF for 7 and ½ years, M. Isaac stated that I am an unbeliever. Again, this is in sharp contrast to M. Isaac's previous statements. Just six days previous in his message on Romans 15:1-13, M. Isaac stated that I was being built up as a coworker in the Akron ministry. To be a built up as a coworker in a church, I must have accepted Christ as my Savior and been born again. I have been saved and born again since I was sixteen. But, M. Isaac stated that I am an unbeliever, worshipping a false Christ. This is contrary to what M. Isaac told me three days before in our one-to-one Bible study. M. Isaac that he understood that when I said Amen that it was to God. He stated that I am a strong Christian who is free to say Amen however I want. M. Isaac said that I should consider that M. Rebekah, M. Joshua, M. Mary, and himself were weak and think that Amen should not be said with any style of voice. M. Isaac told me that as a strong Christian, I must bear with the weak. M. Isaac said that I was a strong Christian who needed to bear with the failings of the weak on Wednesday. Then, on Saturday, he stated that I am a false-Christ worshipping unbeliever.

Why am I an unbeliever? M. Isaac and M. Rebekah think that I am an unbeliever because I prayed for sheep to follow God's will rather than exclusively pray the way he and M. Rebekah want which is that sheep only come to Akron UBF. M. Isaac and M. Rebekah think that I am an unbeliever because I stated that God accepted my Amen of which they did not approve. M. Isaac and M. Rebekah stated that in order to have spiritual unity I must agree with everything they say. M. Isaac and M. Rebekah stated that this is not a disputable matter. Any disagreement about anything and they conclude that I am an unbeliever. That fact that I am praying to God for sheep to follow God's will makes me an unbeliever to M. Isaac and M. Rebekah.

I agree with M. Isaac and M. Rebekah that this is not a disputable matter. M. Isaac and M. Rebekah themselves made the issue undisputable when they concluded that I am worshipping a false Christ because I said Amen too loudly and that I pray for sheep to do God's will. M. Isaac's statement that I worship my own Christ is not disputable. It is reprehensible. Other than when my Mom stated that she was separating from my Dad, this is the most reprehensible statement anyone has ever made to me in my 27 years on this earth.

Part Four - My Future Calling

The basis for my future calling comes from Acts. In Acts 5: 29, when Peter was confronted for preaching the gospel of Christ, he responded, “We must obey God rather than men!” Through the scripture in Matthew 6:9, God commands me to pray that his will be done. 1 Cor. 2:5 says, “God will give to each person according to what he has done.” God gives to me according to what I have done. Not what my church has done. Not whether I obeyed my Bible teacher or church director. God will give to me according to what I have done. Further, we all must face the judgment seat of Christ. (Heb 9:27) I must face Christ's judgment seat. God commands me to pray that his will be done. Therefore, I cannot go before God and say “I know you commanded that I pray that God's will be done, but M. Isaac and M. Rebekah said that I should pray only that sheep come to Akron.” God will rebuke for not obeying him, because I must obey God rather than men. Yet, when I obey God, M. Isaac and M. Rebekah state that I am an unbeliever that needs to repent. Thus, M. Isaac and M. Rebekah are stating that I am sinning against God by obeying God. Clearly, obedience to God's word cannot be sinful.

How does God want me to handle this situation? When my church leaders state that my obedience to God to pray for people to follow God's will is sinful and the Bible states that my prayer and my Amen clearly were not sinful, then there is no reason to continue participating in that ministry. When church leaders place themselves in place of God, expecting me to view them in the same manner the Psalmist viewed God, there is no reason for me to remain in that ministry. Therefore, this will be my last night as a member of Akron UBF. I must obey God rather than men. M. Isaac and M. Rebekah have clearly stated that they want me to obey them rather than God. When church leaders would rather me obey man rather than God, I cannot remain in that ministry. When church leaders state that my obedience to God by obeying the teachings of Christ means that I am worshipping a false Christ, I cannot remain in that ministry.

Part Four - Prayer Topics

My decision to leave Akron UBF does not mean that I do not want to see any of you again. I am not holding any grudges. Jesus said in Matthew 6:12, “forgive our debts as we as we also have forgiven our debtors.” I have forgiven all of you for your sins against me, just as I pray that you have forgiven me my sins. I love each one of you as my brothers and sisters. My Bible Student, our Bible study has been a great blessing to me. Some people think of sheep as a burden in their life, but since the beginning of 2003, I have thought of you as a blessing in my life. God has blessed us to become great friends in Christ. I pray that our friendship may continue. I will always pray for you. I will always love you as a brother in Christ. You have invited me to your house for dinner many times. I want to invite you to my house for dinner. I will call you every week. If you still want to study the Bible with me, I am more than willing, but that decision is between you and God. M. Joshua and M. Mary, you have been good friends to me. I pray that our friendship may continue. I have M. Joshua's email address and I hope we can email and talk to each other. M. Joshua, you are one of the kindest men I have ever met. I have stated previously that I love Grace (daughter) as a member of my own family. This has not changed. The same is true for your new baby to be born next year. If you need a babysitter for a couple of hours, please call me and I will be willing to help you. If you need a car ride anywhere, please call me. If you need anything, I am here for you. M. Isaac, you fished me and raised me as a shepherd. The present situation does not change the fact that God used you to teach the Bible to me. I will continue to pray for you as you lead this ministry. You know how to reach me. If you need any help, please contact me. In the past, when you needed a ride because of car trouble near the University of Akron, you called me and asked me for a ride. Please continue to ask me for help anytime you need it. M. Rebekah, you and I have had many conflicts over the years. I pray that one day you may not look at me as simply some terrible burden but as a brother in Christ. I pray that God may use Akron UBF to preach the gospel of Christ to University of Akron students.

My prayer topics are that God may lead me to the church where he wants me to serve. This Sunday, I am going to attend church with my Dad and at the Chapel. I pray that I may teach the Bible to college students. I pray that God may use me in everything I do. Prayer topics: Wake up at 5AM

Daily Bible study, meditation, and prayer

45 minute morning walk

school studies

Prepare well for the Economics class I teach

One Word: I Must Obey God Rather Than Men

Update: April 2005 - Because I wrote this testimony to share in front of Akron UBF leaders, I did not have time to share all of the brutally honest truth about my mistreatment by Isaac and Rebekah Kim and about my assessment of UBF in general. As I reflect on my time in Akron UBF, I have concluded the UBF is a cult and that Isaac and Rebekah Kim are abusive cult leaders. The Kims have an unhealthy, misguided understanding of the Bible and of the Christian life God calls us to live. In fact, Christ is not the center of Akron UBF. Isaac and Rebekah Kim are the center of Akron UBF. The Kims came to Akron not with the goal of raising up disciples of Jesus, but with the goal of raising up disciples of Isaac and Rebekah Kim. The Kims have no respect for anyone, even the other members of Akron UBF. The Kims only want members of Akron UBF to obey them, praise them, and serve them.

Isaac Kim has proven to be not only a terrible leader, but to have questionable morals and little or no concern for people inside and outside of his UBF world. Isaac was one of the people who broke into James Kim and Rebekah Kim's house, cleaned out his house, and locked their possessions into a truck. Isaac admitted this to me during one of our 1:1 Bible studies in the summer of 2004. When I confronted him with a public letter written by Rebekah Kim (James' wife) asking for an apology from all involved, Isaac yelled at me that he did not want to talk about the issue anymore. He further said that James and Rebekah Kim were bitter people. Isaac refused to repent for his terrible sins against James and Rebekah Kim. He further said that if I mentioned it again, I should go to another church.

Isaac and Rebekah Kim decided to accumulate much property when they moved to Akron. They own their personal residence, the Akron UBF center, and three other rental properties. Each time the Kims purchased houses, they claimed that they wanted to uses the houses for “God's mission.” However, the actions of the Kims reveal that profit maximization was the greater motive. One property, located on Julian Ave. in Akron, Ohio was rented to Chinese college students. By September of 2002, only one Chinese student remained in the house. Her name was Zin. Isaac could not find any other individual renters to move into this house. If only one individual renter remained in the house, Isaac would lose money. Therefore, Isaac sought to rent the entire house to one family. During the middle of September, Isaac found a family that was willing to move in. The family wanted to move in as soon as possible. However, Zin paid her September rent and should remain a tenant until the end of September. Zin prepared to move out at the end of September. She signed a lease to rent an apartment beginning in October. Isaac did not want to chance that the family would choose another location. Therefore, Isaac went to Zin on a Saturday in September and said that she had to be out of the house that week-end. Zin asked Isaac to let her remain through September. Isaac responded that if she was not out of the house by Sunday night, he would call the police. Zin had paid rent through September, but she was confused and afraid. She quickly gathered her possessions and loaded them on a truck she rented. Then, she arranged to move into her apartment early. This cost her much money because she had to pay an additional months rent for her new apartment and pay extra for a rental truck. Isaac hoped that his actions would never be brought to light. However, God brought Isaac's sins to light. Zin was a graduate student in the same department as I. One day, I invited her to come to the Sunday worship service with me. Zin is a Christian who attended another church, but was willing to attend the UBF service. When she attended the service, she was shocked to see Isaac delivering the message and to find out that Isaac was the chapter director. Isaac did not even recognize Zin. Immediately after the service, Zin asked me to take her home. On the way back to her home, she told me the entire account of Isaac's cruelty toward her. She was literally sick to her stomach when she saw Isaac delivering the message. She was so sick that she could not stand to be in the center after the service ended. She never wanted to attend another UBF activity again. I confronted Isaac with Zin's account. Isaac admitted everything. However, he made no effort to apologize to Zin. Isaac said he would apologize if Zin would come to his office at the center. The worst part of the story is Isaac total lack of repentance and desire to initiate an apology. Further, Isaac did not repent before Akron UBF members for his horrible treatment of Zin, which prevented her from ever wanting anything to do with UBF. If I ever did anything to upset someone, I was told to repent publicly through my Friday testimony. I told Isaac that he should also repent publicly. He said that he would, but Isaac never publicly repented for his sin against Zin.

In addition, Isaac also has shown no desire to grow spiritually. Throughout 2003-2004, Isaac made no effort to prepare his own Sunday message. He simply downloaded the messages from Chicago UBF. Currently, Isaac delivers the Chicago UBF message five weeks after it is delivered in Chicago UBF. When I left, Isaac often made no changes to the Chicago UBF message. Not one word was different. Isaac does not have a job and depends on Rebekah's nursing job for their family income. Isaac has been blessed with much time to grow spiritually through personal Bible study that would enable him to deliver fresh, powerful messages on the word of God. However, Isaac is content with reading someone else's message. Isaac's main work on the message is to listen to the audio recording of Ron Ward delivering the message. Isaac does this to improve his quality of message delivery.

Further, their English speaking ability did not improve. Because Isaac was one of my 1:1 Bible teachers and the chapter director, I had numerous opportunities to converse with him. Considering that Isaac has lived in the United States for almost thirty years and has a mission to teach the Bible to American college students, his English comprehension and speaking ability is surprisingly poor. He often repeated the same sentence and phrases because of his limited vocabulary. When I said, “I think that you're your expectation that I obey you absolutely is ridiculous.” Isaac would respond, “You are ridiculous. You are ridiculous.” When I asked Isaac, “why do you refuse to turn let anyone else turn on the air conditioning in the church, because you think you are the boss?” Isaac responded, “I am the boss.” Many times during our conversations he would repeat the same phrases I used because he lacked the cognitive ability to construct more than base level sentences and paragraphs. This may seem to be harsh, but it is sadly true. Basically, Isaac knew the key UBF vocabulary needed to impose abuse upon me, enough to get by in public, and nothing more.

One week after I shared this testimony, Isaac and Rebekah met with me. We talked and prayed. Isaac and Rebekah said that they had “no regrets” about how they treated me. This is astounding. They have no regrets regarding anything they said or did to me between 1997-2004. To have no regrets means that they are perfect. Apostle Paul had regrets. He said that want he wanted to do, he did not do and what he did not want to do, he did. Everyone should have regrets because we are imperfect sinners. I have many regrets, which I shared in my testimony. Isaac and Rebekah claim to have no regrets.

In my prayer topics section, I prayed that Akron UBF may preach the gospel of Jesus Christ to college students. I still hold that prayer topic. However, because of the lack of repentance of Isaac and Rebekah Kim, I pray that college students do not become involved with Akron UBF. I do not want other students to be abused as I was. My heart aches every time I see Isaac studying with a student in the library. Isaac and Rebekah Kim and all Akron UBF Bible teachers will only be a detriment to the spiritual life of University of Akron students or anyone else who becomes involved in any way with Akron UBF. I advise any University of Akron student reading this to avoid 1:1 Bible study, church service attendance, conference attendance, and any other Akron UBF activity.

UBF shepherds are taught that they must feed sheep because it is God's calling for their life. At the same time, they are taught to consider sheep a burden in their life. This dichotomy of serving sheep being both God's mission and a burden results in dysfunctional miserable shepherds. Sheep are considered burdens because they do not obey absolutely, they are not immediately committed to UBF, and because shepherds must work hard to raise the sheep from a terrible, selfish person to a UBF shepherd. Jesus' call for the disciples to feed his sheep does not include considering sheep as terrible burdens. It is God's grace that we are saved from our sins and have an opportunity to preach to others about Christ. The problem is that UBF shepherds are taught that they must do some great work to raise disciples. In reality, no one can raise disciples. Jesus said that unless compelled by the Holy Spirit, no one can come to Christ. UBF shepherds are asked to do what only God can do. Thus, when sheep do not respond to the shepherds' efforts, it becomes burdensome. Christ takes the entire burden upon himself. Christ bares all of the sheep. UBF shepherds want to take back the burden from Christ and bare the sheep themselves. Thus, UBF shepherds have transformed themselves from having joy in Christ to preach the gospel to being abusive cult leaders who are constantly miserable and burdened. May God release all miserable and burdened UBF members through the grace of Jesus Christ.

Holly L. (former Chicago & Penn State UBF)

2007-12-07T06:26:00.000-08:00

(Posted at http://www.geocities.com/holly.lord/ubf.html.)

(Also see http://rsqubf.fortunecity.net/discuss/archive/holly_lord.html.)

January 21, 2007

Last week I accidentally ran across a discussion about myself on the web, regarding University Bible Fellowship (UBF). I have to admit, I was surprised to see that I was not only remembered but also being discussed more than ten years after I had left the organization. People in UBF would have known me as Holly Lord. I was involved with UBF for about five and a half years, from 1988 until 1993.

Instead of exclusively addressing specific points mentioned in other posts, I think the best thing is for me to simply give my perspective of my involvement in UBF:

I began to study the Bible with Jim Rabchuk during the spring semester of my sophomore year in high school. Except when I was very young, my family did not attend church. It was in UBF and through Bible study that I came to know Christ and be saved. I do believe that the people who I studied the Bible with in those early years along with many others in UBF have genuine faith, and I remember studying how almost every Bible passage points to Christ in some way. As a teenager and a young adult, I was having something of an identity crisis, and UBF provided both structure and basic training in life skills. At the same time, there was a strong, unhealthy bond of control. For example, it was a relief to me to be funneled into a college near a UBF, because I had no idea where I wanted to study, and to be funneled into a technical profession by UBF, because I had no idea what I wanted to do. On the other hand, it was a great anxiety to think that I could lose my salvation, which was a conviction that became more and more strong in me, although I knew that the Bible says that salvation is by faith, not by works. But I will get back to these topics later. For now I'll return to my narrative.

Julia Higgins (now Henkins) was a schoolmate at Prospect High School in Mount Prospect, Illinois, a suburb of Chicago. Julia was a year ahead of me. She and I became very enthusiastic about our one-to-one Bible studies with Jim Rabchuk. We both took the title of "shepherdess" and began to teach the Bible to fellow high school students. I was living with my parents, of course. I attended Sunday worship service but almost never attended the Friday meeting. When I graduated in June of 1990, I was not accepted at Northwestern University near Chicago. This was a great disappointment at the time, but I can see now that it was by the grace of God. I was accepted at the University of Wisconsin, and Samuel Lee thought I should go there. I chose to go to Boston University, however, where I had also been admitted, because there was a UBF in Boston, and because it was far from home. I wanted to escape the strain of the relationship with my parents, who strongly objected to my involvement in UBF.

Joe and Sharon Schafer married in the summer of 1990 and lived in Cambridge, Massachusetts in a one bedroom apartment near (on?) Harvard's campus. I attended Boston University from August 1990 through December of 1991. I studied the Bible with Joe Schafer, who was working on his doctorate in statistics from Harvard University. Joe wrote and delivered the message every week at the Boston UBF Sunday worship service, which met in the home of David and Susanna Min. Joe did not just read Samuel Lee's message; he wrote his own every week.

My father died unexpectedly in August of 1991. This was an event that threw me into turmoil spiritually, because the only conclusion I could come up with was that my dad had gone to hell--not a comforting thought. I thought a lot about salvation at that time, but from the UBF point of view. Although I had read that salvation was by faith, not by works, in UBF we constantly prayed for the Holy Spirit to come to us, and there was no mistaking the undercurrent that salvation was not stable without attendance, etc. One of the end results of all of my musings was a belief that I could lose the Holy Spirit and can therefore I could lose my salvation.

Joe Schafer graduated with his doctorate in December of 1991, and he got a job at Penn State University as a professor. I was encouraged to follow Joe and Sharon to State College. Or, to be more specific, people from both Boston and Chicago UBF tried to pressure me to go. My mom was adamantly against it. I remember Terese (Tessie) Bird telling me that she would trust Samuel Lee's direction in anything. She said she'd believe Samuel Lee, even if he told her that God had told him the end of the world was here, because she believed that God revealed things to Samuel Lee. However, she advised that I should pray about it and ask God if I wasn't sure.

I prayed about what I should do, truly seeking God's will, and God gave me a peace about going to Penn State. I believe that God himself led me to transfer to PSU, even though I had never been to Pennsylvania before and I knew nothing about the school. Because of this peace in knowing that I was following God's plan for my life, I was able to stand up to my mother's objections and transfer, arriving there just before the last day to register for classes. I recall testifying later that I was not able to go to Penn State when people told me to go, but I went because God himself led me there. I recall hearing that Samuel Lee wasn't happy that I had said that I had gone to PSU because God told me to go rather than because UBF told me to go. At the time, I brushed this off and didn’t worry about it, because I knew I was where God wanted me to be. It's interesting that Samuel Lee's later take on it was that he had "given" Joe Schafer a sheep (me), even though he had not even wanted me to enroll at Boston University in the first place, in addition to the fact that he knew it was God who led me to Pennsylvania.

At Penn State, I lived with Joe and Sharon and their daughter, Ruth, (later also their son, Joey,) in a three bedroom house on Barnard Street, just off of campus. There was no such thing as a "professors' compound," which Samuel Lee mentions in his sermon, so living off campus was the only option for faculty. I continued studying the Bible with Joe, going "fishing" (inviting students to Bible study) with Sharon and by myself, writing testimonies ("sogams"), and the like. Dave Barro was in my computer science classes, and was someone who I strongly encouraged in studying the Bible with Joe. I remember when Jennifer Webber (now Lemmon) came. She used to study with Sharon.

I lost about 40-45 pounds while I lived with Joe and Sharon, the methodology of which was a standard 1500 calorie diet along with very regular exercise, particularly swimming and jogging. That is to say, no one beat me with a baseball bat or anything, as was said to have happened to someone named Jonathan in Chicago. I remember Sharon in particular used to nag me a lot, but I also recall at times having a only a certain amount of personal commitment to the dieting/exercise itself--although I enjoyed the result when I lost weight.

The Schafers treated me like a family member. I lived in their house and had my own room, across the hall from Ruth's. Joe and Sharon helped me out quite a bit with basic life skills, like how to cook, how to clean a bathroom, and other such duties, which I had not learned as I grew up. I shared all their meals and housekeeping duties. I was invited out to dinner when they went out. I did quite a bit of babysitting for Sharon, and Ruthie became like a daughter to me. Joe sometimes even tutored me in statistics and calculus. All in all, I enjoyed my Bible studies and UBF activities, worked hard in my classes, learned how to keep a household, and learned some skills for raising and taking care of a family. For the most part, I was happy, and I thought my situation was ideal.

There were some things that happened, however, that broke the trust and strained the relationship between us. I remember Sharon telling me that my appearance was a burden to others. I remember Joe telling me that I needed to lose 15 more pounds when I had gotten down to 130 and was feeling quite happy with myself, thank-you-very-much. We all used to write a year-end testimony, and I remember Joe's at the end of 1992/early 1993 had some insinuation that I was trying to break up his and Sharon's marriage. Not only was this not true (anything along those lines had never entered my mind), but no one had ever discussed or even mentioned any such problem. It was just put out there for anyone in the world to read, and I was blindsided. It seemed to me that my presence in their house was a problem, and I rented an apartment down the street. Some time later Jennifer Webber (now Lemmon) moved into the room I had vacated in the Schafer's house.

Up until this point, I had attended UBF events with strong enthusiasm, even packing my clothes a week or two in advance of conferences, because I was so excited about them. Since I was not in the center of things in Chicago, I was sheltered from most of the abuses to which others have testified. When I was in UBF, I didn’t know about most of these abuses--such as forced abortions, "Skokie training," forcing people to give up children, beating people with baseball bats, financial impropriety, and so forth--until this month (January 2007) when I read the statements online. I do remember in the late '80s my parents made me watch a piece on "20/20" or some such show about UBF's medical quackery in relation to skin treatments. The show seemed so sensationalized to me, I dismissed it at the time as slander. I thought that "marriage by faith" was a romantic idea, and I had a sense of trust that God would provide the right person for me. (He later did, but that man was not in UBF.) I really believed that UBF had the best way to study the Bible and the best church. There was pressure to attend, of course, and to bring people, but I saw it more as a friendly rivalry like a sports team rather than as a negative pressure. Generally, I was not coerced into obeying UBF, because I obeyed freely, either as a matter of trust or--in the case of going to Penn State--at the leading of God. In 1993, however, my enthusiasm began to wane. There were some interpersonal problems, as I already mentioned, but I also began to see theological problems. I felt both an internal and an external sense of pressure and guilt which made me continue to attend even though I began to not want to go anymore.

I had a part-time job at the computer help desk for the university. One of my coworkers had a roommate named Steve. Steve was a Christian, and in the spring of 1993 he and I began to study the Bible together--except he did some of the leading. I remember reading passages in Galatians, such as Galatians 3:1-3, "You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? Before your very eyes Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified. I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by observing the law, or by believing what you heard? Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?" and Galatians 5:1, "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." (NIV). I began to see how I was putting my works (attending Bible study and meetings) ahead of faith when it came to my hope for salvation. I saw how legalism had invaded much of my life and had been choking out the leading of God.

When I saw everyone from Chicago UBF that summer, I remember asking Jim Rabchuk whether or not a person could lose their salvation. He said that it was possible to lose your salvation. I asked John Bird the same question, and he said that you could not. I asked several other people, and received different answers, mostly hearing that you could lose your salvation. I began to verify for myself that UBF did not have a clear teaching on salvation, one of the most central topics in Christianity. My personal opinion was that there was lip service to salvation by grace, but that I had also been taught that you could lose your salvation if you did not "do enough." That is, UBF teaches salvation is by grace but is kept by works.

In the fall of 1993, I continued studying the Bible with Joe Schafer, but with decreasing enthusiasm. Through my friend Steve, I met a friend of his named Matthew. Steve and Matthew and I were all friends and studied the Bible together. Joe became very angry with me for studying the Bible with them, and it bothered me that my Bible study outside of UBF would upset him so much, particularly when I knew I was growing in God. Finally, in the fall of 1993, Joe basically gave me an ultimatum to quit studying the Bible with Steve and Matthew or leave UBF. I weighed it out and prayed about it and realized that God was leading me away. This was not an easy decision, as I knew that UBF would try to pressure me into coming back. I felt that any future contact with UBF members would only be seen as though I had openness to returning, so I felt it was unlikely that I would be able to retain any of my friendships. UBF is not the kind of group to take no for an answer. I knew what God's leading was for me, so there was no point in debate with Joe and Sharon. I sent Joe a simple email stating, "I am leaving UBF." I did not take anyone with me.

I had made arrangements to stay with a friend for a while, to be sure I was not at home if any UBF members came to try to talk me into coming back, that is to say, to guilt me into coming back. I had a strong conviction that I should not allow myself to be alone with them. I had some fear that they might kidnap me and try to force me to come back. After I left UBF, I remember John Bird calling me on the phone at work when I was working. He said he was going to drive from Chicago to Pennsylvania to talk with me. I told him I would prefer it if he did not. I don't think he actually drove out to see me, but it wasn't an implausible thing for a UBF member to do. The idea, I am sure, would be to make a move that was complete overkill (driving 550 miles) to make me feel obligated to talk with them. Then they would lay it on about how much everyone had done for me, and how I would be showing ingratitude if I really left, etc., etc. Maybe they would have offered marriage to someone, since they seemed to think that was my motivation for leaving. I don't know, and I didn't leave myself open to finding out!

In my recent reading, I saw some discussion on the message board about whether or not Joe and Sharon caused me to "run away." First, I left UBF, but I did not "run away" from God--I was following God's leading, and I continue to be a faithful Christian to this day. Jesus Christ is my savior, and he is the one who leads me. Second, Joe and Sharon did a lot for me, and you could say that on a certain level we had neither more nor fewer interpersonal conflicts than most relationships have. I am grateful to them for opening their home to me and treating me like a family member. I believe that God wanted me in UBF during the time I was there. I also believe God led me out of UBF when it was time to leave. So, no, I would not say it was Joe's and/or Sharon's "fault" that I left. Unfortunately, I don't think that there was any way of "working through the problems," since my main problems with UBF had to do with incorrect/inconsistent theological teachings and legalism. I do not think that either issue has been resolved even to this day.

After leaving UBF, I began to attend Faith Baptist Church with Steve and Matthew, a church that had about 100 attendees on Sundays. Yes, I would say it was a community-centered church, and the university was a part of that community. They had a student group, and a number of students attended in addition to the "townies" (permanent residents of State College). As I stated before, I did not take anyone from UBF away with me when I left. There was no "promising shepherd candidate" involved, nor did I leave UBF in order to date anyone or to look for romance. I don't think either Matthew or Steve ever came around UBF, though Steve might have been counted in my Bible studies; I can’t recall. The three of us simply studied the Bible together, and with everything going on with me, the last thing I was thinking about was romance.

It was months after I left UBF, after Steve had graduated, that Matthew and I prayerfully considered dating. Through prayer and God's leading, we later became engaged, and we were married in 1995, after I graduated from Penn State. We've been married for nearly twelve years now, and we are happy to each know that we are with the right person. I have worked professionally as a technical writer and a computer programmer/web developer. My husband earned his master's degree and later his doctorate and is working professionally in the field of music. Although we have moved several times, we've found wonderful church homes everywhere we've lived. We attend church in addition to studying the Bible at home as a family, and we continue to follow God's leading. We remain in touch with Steve, who is now married and also has a family.

Overall, I am thankful to UBF for leading me to Christ and providing structure in a time when I needed it. When I had grown to the point where I could see some of the fundamental flaws in the organization and didn’t need the structure as much, I prayed about it and left from God's leading and my own free will. Looking back on it now, I can see through my own experience many of the cult-like aspects of UBF, including life control, arranged marriages, legalism, a lack of trained ordained ministers, a lack of accountability, a top-down authority in the organizational structure, financial impropriety, and a focus on the organization itself and salvation by works rather than a focus on each person's relationship with Christ.

Oh, and just to correct one more inaccuracy for the record: I do not and never have resembled either a globe or a polar bear! :-)

theSaint (former California UBF)

2007-12-05T15:11:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted at xomba.com.)

Submitted by theSaint on Tue, 2007-08-28 20:22.

A letter to those investigating UBF for the first time.

I am not a grand orator or great wordsmith. My views are shaped largely by my experience with UBF and not by deep intellectual arguments or philosophical studies. I expect much of what I say will be refuted by some hardcore UBF-er and I'll be labeled as a "runaway sheep" or "cultural Christian" who "left the ministry to pursue fleshly desires." If you are a student who has been exposed to UBF on campus, you will certainly find a truckload of information on the internet both for and against UBF. I only write in the hopes that what I have to share may help you make a balanced assessment.

I first joined UBF as a freshman at a California university. I was far from home, had no other friends or relatives, and UBF became like a family to me. I studied the Bible once a week with my Bible teacher and attended meetings at the church twice a week. I grew up in a Christian home and attended a Christian high school, so the initial experience at UBF was merely an extension of the Christian study and discipline I had been accustomed to back home. As I discovered some years later, this particular chapter is a rather liberal one in comparison to many of the others across the United States.

After a year and a half of minor involvement, I moved into the UBF girls' "commonlife." The Lord taught me many lessons about self-sacrifice and accommodating others as I struggled through personality clashes and trekked the naturally craggy path of maturation from adolescence to adulthood. Looking back, I realize that many of my God-given personality traits and talents were squelched by the pressure to conform to the projected image of "shepherdess" and "mother of faith." For example, by my own convictions I only listened to Christian music, but in commonlife, Chrisian rock music was forbidden me. Also, my habit of wearing a headband or scarf in my hair was severely chastised as being an enticement to the boys. These are trivial things and only the strictest code of legalism as found (and, indeed, preached with utmost vehemence) in UBF would find them to be. I endured all these things as idiosyncrasies of the church – after all, you would be hard-pressed to find a perfect church anywhere in the world.

The people in UBF are very friendly and sincere of heart. None of the people with whom I had close contact were intentionally deceptive or manipulative. They merely had good intentions and were themselves dazzled and deceived by the cult of personality that grew up around the leader(s). Because the young people especially have such a strong desire to please the Lord, they easily reveal a great deal of zeal without exercising a whole lot of wisdom. This can be very dangerous and can lead unscrupulous ministers to meddle in areas that should be sacred to the family and to the Lord.

My chief objections during my years at UBF were with the way the ministry treated families, baptism/communion, and the personal ministry of the Holy Spirit. Let me say just a few words on each. Should the need arise, I will write on each separately at another time.

I observed that the sanctity of the family was compromised in UBF. A family with young children was encouraged to sacrifice quality family time by leaving their kids with babysitters or allowing them to run free on the church grounds for hours and hours each week while their parents served Bible students and campus ministry. I was increasingly appalled by the lack of discipline and poor behavior of the children. Every true Christian home I have known outside of UBF has had one thing in common: the children are secure and well-behaved, if rather boisterous on occasion! God established the institute of family and there are boundaries that ought not to be crossed by any type of ministry and which the Lord would never call to be broken by parents even for "the work of the Kingdom."

In my four years at UBF, I only experienced one baptism and one observation of communion. I was horribly shocked by the baptism since it tuned out to be baptism by sprinkling rather than by immersion. I was also highly disappointed by the communion and often felt it should be observed more frequently as the Lord commanded.

In my final year as a member of UBF, I grew spiritually dryer and dryer. Though the Holy Spirit was within me, I felt as though the work He sought to do was being strangled at every turn. I began to seek out extra time to pray and began avoiding some of the group prayer meetings that began to feel superfluous. Eventually I came to the realization that the Lord's time for me at UBF had come to an end and it was time to move on. I will not deny the work God did in and through me while at UBF, but I see clearly that the door is forever closed from ever returning back. Perhaps, had the parting been met with reason and benediction, things would have turned out differently. But since the call of the Holy Spirit on my life was not only rejected by the members of UBF but actually classified as rebellion and "the work of Satan," I am convinced that any further pleas for discussion or reform will only be met with deaf ears.

Is UBF a cult? Based on my experience there, I would say that overall UBF has sound basic theology, some semi-serious theological problems, and some extremely serious sociological and psychological problems and as such I would seriously advise anyone considering fellowship there to seek out a healthier, more balanced place to dedicate themselves to God.

May the Lord bless your desire to serve Him and provide you many opportunities to put all your skills and talents to work for His Kingdom!

Daniel C.

2007-12-04T15:03:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted on the comments page of the Diamondback Online article on UBF.)

Daniel C.

posted 7/04/07 @ 12:12 PM EST

I am a rising senior at the University of Maryland, majoring in Government & Politics.

One day, someone backed up into my car, causing considerable amount of damage. My car was parked, so it was stationary, and the guy hit it when he was backing out. I found out that the person responsible was a high ranking "shepherd" of this Washington UBF organization.

I confronted him, but he denied hitting my car. So I went down to the UBF center and met with the head pastor, Jacob Lee. Yes, the same person who left the comment above.

Initially, I thought that this was a local church. So I thought that it would behave like a church.

I called for a meeting between me, the head pastor Jacob Lee, and the "shepherd" who hit my car. At the meeting, the person confessed to hitting my car.

Then I called my insurance company, thinking that this matter was finally resolved since I got a witness. I miscalculated in that I thought that Jacob Lee would behave like a pastor of a church and speak the truth. Speak the truth and say, yes I was there at this meeting and yes I heard him confess to hitting this young man's car.

When the insurance company called the "shepherd," he lied through his teeth, as I knew he would. So I provided the number of Jacob Lee which I got off of the directory inside their center.

This is the sad part, the head pastor also LIED to my insurance company. He was defending his "shepherd" and even LYING for him! I could not believe it.

Afterwards, he called his son Abraham Lee, yes, the one mentioned in the Diamondback story. Abe Lee came to yell and scream at me after I left Jacob's office. He tried to intimidate me in the most pathetic way. While I was arguing with Abe Lee, I felt more pity for him than anger.

From my experience, this is what I have learned: the words that come from the mouths of these three individuals are LIES.

DO NOT BELIEVE ANYTHING THEY SAY OR WRITE

I was so fascinated with how they were able to lie so fluently and with such ease. They were also very skilled at fabricating stories.

THE ONE THING THEY CANNOT DO IS DENY THIS ACCOUNT OF THEIR SHEPHERD DAMAGING MY CAR AND JACOB LEE LYING AND COVERING FOR THEIR SORRY SHEPHERD

From speaking with other members of this organization, I have discovered that the members of this organization have fierce loyalty to the leadership, and they too are willing to lie and defend them.

I have also discovered that this Washington UBF chapter and other UBF chapters operate houses for students that are illegal. The Washington UBF operates two houses, and it is illegal because UBF is a non-profit organization and they charge rent. A non-profit organization is not allowed to charge rent. So the people who live in the houses pay their monthly dues as "offerings." So it's paying it under the table.

THIS IS ANOTHER CHARGE THAT THEY CANNOT DENY

This means that the authorities can shut down these houses anytime. This may also be enough to shut down this local Washington UBF and other UBF chapters that are operating houses illegally.

the numbers I got from the directory inside their center:
Jacob Lee
(Home) 301-935-4825
(UBF Office) 301-405-1729
(Cell) 301-583-4919
Abe Lee 301-318-9909
David Park 301-437-2373

So far Jacob Lee's response to the actions of his Shepherd was, we don't have time to deal with these issues, we are in the business of saving souls. I didn't know whether to laugh or feel sorry for them.

I challenge Jacob Lee, Abraham Lee, and David Park (the Shepherd) to salvage what little is left of the reputation of your organization by coming clean. Do what is right and speak the truth. I ask you to take responsibility for your actions.

Ps. For people who argue that this local UBF organization is the way it is due to Korean/Confucian influence is mistaken. There are plenty of Korean churches out there that DO NOT have the characteristics of the UBF and there are many non-Korean churches in America that are known for widespread abuse and scandals that DO NOT have any Korean/Confucian influence or are dominated by Korean leadership. The Catholic priests and Mormons being some examples and there are many others.

I have discovered that this UBF organization is very unique in all its corruption and abuse that are specific to it.

For people who are reading this, I ask that you call the Diamondback editor at 301-314-8200 and ask for this story to be reprinted at the beginning of the school year to reach a wider audience. Or do a follow up story at the beginning of the year so that more people can be warned of this organization.

Chris (former Washington UBF)

2007-12-04T09:35:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted on the comments page of the Diamondback Online article on UBF.)

Chris

posted 6/29/07 @ 1:52 PM EST

Based on my experiences, I have a lot of trouble agreeing with the comments posted by those defending UBF. I guess I'm not surprised because, after doing some googling, I found that one characteristic of cults is that they are overly defensive. I recall, during my freshman fall semester, a recruiter (not Korean by the way) approaching me about UBF, and with an open-mind, I decided to check it out. Well, it turned out to be a regrettable experience. When I began the Bible studies with the leader, he became increasingly more pressuring. His demeanor was a bit intimidating when I interacted with him: I felt like what I had to say wasn't important or didn't fit his moral standard, the study was solely about his interpretation and not so much my questions or feedback, he warned me about many other fellowships not being correct, he seemed to hold a strict standard of how to live life that I felt judged and compelled to follow, and that the other activities in my life weren't as important as meeting up with him for the study. I don't believe his intentions were wrong. I also felt like he invested too much attention and time in leading me in an overly serious way that was a bit creepy. I consider myself a Christian and I have had experiences with a number of churches throughout my lifetime. I would say that UBF stands out closer to a cult than a loving and solid church community. I've heard that there are several other cults on campus, it would be interesting to hear about people's experience with those.

Eddie (former Washington UBF)

2007-11-30T09:44:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted on the comments page of the Diamondback Online article on UBF.)

Eddie

posted 6/28/07 @ 2:26 PM EST

I had a run-in with UBF back in the summer of 2003, right after my Freshman year when I was taking summer classes at UMCP. A nice little Korean lady approached me outside the Bio-Psych building and invited me to Bible study at their building. Curious and with time on my hands, I accepted. Once or twice a week we went to the UBF building for 60-90 minute Bible study sessions (we studied the book of Matthew at my request), and I also had homework study assignments [assigned by the UBF person]. While I learned many interesting (and sometimes disturbing) things about the Bible during my time with the lady, she became increasingly intolerant of my questions and criticisms as time passed, and I started to see the underlying irrational and fanatical aspects of her personality that also formed some of the foundations of her religiosity. After a couple weeks, I realized that the studies were bringing me no closer to Christ or Christianity more broadly, and I politely ended our sessions, concluding that my Agnosticism had only been strengthened by the experience.

I never saw any other UBF people around during our sessions, but I started quietly paying more attention to their missionaries on campus. They do most of their "recruiting" in front of the Bio-Psych building and in the food court, and yes, many or most of them are Korean (not that that's a bad thing in any way). Since 2003, I have repeatedly run into my past "mentor" on campus and she used to email me with requests to resume our sessions up until 2005. I can't judge them all from my experiences with one UBF person, but I think students should be on guard anyway and ask a lot of questions of these people if they decide to experiment with the group.

Newbie at www.reformubf.org (former Chicago UBF)

2007-11-27T14:46:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted on the discussion forum at reformubf.org ca. 2000 and later archived at http://www.voy.com/63135/2/19.html.)

Author: From Newbie at www.reformubf.org
Subject: Wounded by Samuel Lee

I am one of those many wounded by Samuel Lee during the over one decade I was in UBF. I know how much the devil hates humanity, and I believe Satan was using Samuel Lee and all my experiences in UBF to kill me and to turn me away from the Father. After years of counseling and prayer, my heart still breaks when I remember what I experienced and what I witnessed others experience. Samuel Lee did not know he was being used by Satan to hurt me. He was too disillusioned by his own self-perceived grandeur and self-deception that he was chosen by God to conquer the world. Have you ever read about totalitarian rulers around the world like Mao or Kim Il Sung or Hitler? I can't tell you how shocked I was when I first read about the Cultural Revolution in China and about how the North Koreans put on a nationwide "show" for their first Western visitors in the early 90s. I couldn't help thinking how similar the descriptions were to life in UBF. The forced confessions during the Cultural Revolution reminded me of the weekly sogams, where the worse your sins were the more spiritual you seemed. I remembered Samuel Lee forcing people to dress in certain ways, to eat certain foods, take on ridiculous names, go to certain schools, live in certain neighborhoods, marry specific people. I remembered how feelings and emotions were scorned as weaknesses and sinful (really a good tactic when you're trying to establish a cult--get the people to deny their feelings so that they can't recognize their own emotions, otherwise known as brainwashing). Being a person created by God with deep emotions, I can't tell you the damage that was done to me. To this day, I struggle to recognize what my actual emotional state is. It has taken years of counseling and prayer to allow myself to be emotional.

So what do I have to say about Samuel Lee and how he has hurt many, including myself? Intellectually and spiritually, I have to agree with Jimmy Rhee, who says that he pities and prays for Samuel Lee. In total honest emotional reaction, however, I have to confess that there are days when I ask the Lord to bash Samuel Lee's head against the rocks. I am not condoning this way of thinking. I am just being honest about how I really feel about Samuel Lee, who stole so much from me. Yet I know that it is the miracle of the cross that what was stolen will be given back to me and that everything will work out for the good of those who love God. However, I am weak and still sinful and sometimes still bitter. Okay, I am often still bitter. Still, there is the possibility that Samuel Lee will repent and I will have to spend eternity with him, although I personally wonder whether he hasn't rejected God entirely. By accepting God's call to follow Jesus, I know that the kingdom is now, and that I need God's mercy to melt my heart of stone towards Samuel Lee. I recognize that hating SL is sin and murderous. I still need much healing in this regard.

For those of you who are in UBF still, I urge you to follow Jesus, not Samuel Lee. Be totally honest with yourself. Are you doing what you are doing out of a desire to follow our Lord, or are you climbing the UBF corporate ladder? I truly believe that many in UBF genuinely love Jesus but are severely blinded spiritually because they have allowed someone else to dictate to them what and how they will believe. This breaks the Father's heart. He just wants us to love him as little children. Kids who have a healthy relationship with their parents are not afraid to crawl into their daddy's lap. This is what God wants, not all this back-breaking digging in the dirt in the back yard. Yes, we are called to the harvest, but we can do that from the lap of the Father. Apart from him we can do nothing.

Anyways, let me bring this to a close. I am a weak human being who has been severely wounded by Samuel Lee. However, I recognize that Samuel Lee may not have known that he was working for Satan as he was wounding me. Despite all the hurt, by the grace of my Father God, I say, let mercy triumph over justice. As huge as I perceive Samuel Lee's sin against me to be, how much greater has been my sin against God? And as he has forgiven my debts so freely, how can I not forgive this one man Samuel Lee? The power of the Holy Spirit and the power of the blood that Jesus shed free me from the fledgling power of Satan as experienced through those wounds inflicted on me by Samuel Lee and a score of others in UBF. I know that I don't have to wait until Jesus comes again or until I die and go to heaven to be healed and free. God is healing me now, day by day, because he loves me.

Nevertheless, I pray that Samuel Lee would stop his ministry of death and destruction because it's not helping anybody.

For those parents in UBF, I warn you to guard your children. Just because you are all supposedly servants of God, do not think that there are not those who will hurt your children emotionally, spiritually, physically and sexually when you're not watching. I have personally witnessed and experienced such abuse in UBF. Also, parents, remember that God gave you your children as a ministry. Your marriage and your children are ministry. Don't misinterpret scripture about hating your mother and brother and sister etc. That was another UBF tactic, and you know it! Think about the Father God and how he loves his children. Husbands, you are called to love your wives as Christ loves the church. That's a very high calling. I saw too much abuse during my years in UBF, even of husbands hitting their wives. That's illegal and God hates it too. Wives, remember that you are coheirs with Christ and that there is a difference between submission and subjugation.

May God heal the families in UBF, and those who were in UBF and are still broken as families because of their experiences in UBF.

And yet I know that God is in control. He knows what he is doing, and even Samuel Lee is subject to the sovereign will of God. So, Father, I ask in Jesus' Name that You would come
and heal me, heal us, bring freedom to your Church, not just to UBF, that we would live in, walk in, and minister in the Kingdom now by the power of the Holy Spirit, that Your will would reign here on earth in our lives. Amen.

u32222311aufo

2007-11-19T15:06:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted at xanga.com/u32222311aufo in 2006.)

[First post]

okay i know that cari considered my "jumping church to church" behavior not completely proper or best choice. But i just think it's i don't know. Ive only visited Sandra's church twice. and then was a member of the ubf, but that was when i wasn't saved.

and i just want to explore all these other types of church. and experience how they organize their church. cari's opinion is that you gain something from committing to a single church [UBF, of course]. And i can agree. i just want to find the one.

[Second post]

and now my mind's just going off on how i'm really starting to worry about ubf. i been hearing not so bright things about them and developing my own concerns that just makes me begin to question how strong is their foundation in christ?....

i remember what jesus had mention(ed) that even if the faith is as small as a mustard seed....it doesn't matter..it'll do...

but what i am trying to say is....when it's all bright and rosy it's fine and okay....but, what do they do when when they are under attack by the devil [under pressure to recruit and train and abuse sheep]?

if i discuss this w/ cari will she be understanding of my concerns about this church? the body of God are in the churches. not just in UBF but in revolution, in baptist, in morgan's church at irvine....

do i even have a point of concern at all?....i'm young in my faith compared to them...would they see what i'm worried about if i talk....?

i saying i'm concerned about them; just i hesitated to really mention point by point what these concerns are.

---

it's just i really do not want it that UBF becomes a church where i have to tell others to be aware of. i don't want that to become them. i made a prayer about them last night...and am planning to write a list of those concerns i have. and why they seem like weaknesses that needs to be dealt with.

and i don't know what else.

i don't want them to be a church where i end up telling ppl to be careful from. and i'm not the only one have concerns...not just me now...not just my friends but also OTHERS. (I won't mention specifically...but really!)

something needs to be said....i just want them to be okay...i want them to be a good church.

[Third post]

Friday, December 22, 2006

i feel like i'm finding my place over here [in CCC, away from UBF]. like i finally can find a place i belong to finally. i lost my place in ubf a long time ago - it won't ever be like it used to. and like the saying goes...why...or can't...or should cry over spilled milk right!

this is the way it has to be now - like it or not. and i need to not grieve over the past anymore [another traumatic exit from UBF]. mostly when i beginning to find my place right now. i wholeheartedly enjoy my new friends in CCC. and i can't ever get enough time just to be with them.

i want to put down their names in here but...nah i'll keep that a secret. (despite i might've spilled their names in here in the past!)

but you get the point =p

"young shepherd" (Korean UBF, ca. August 2006)

2007-11-16T14:10:00.000-08:00

(Excerpted from http://www.livejournal.com/users/rsqubf/90112.html)

UBF Obedience (posted by human12)
2006-08-21

[Translated from Korean]

I am the young shepherd who asked a question about obedience in post 1386. Thank you so much for your answer in post 1385. However, my shepherd is telling me that it is not true obedience if I only obey what makes sense to me. My shepherd tells me that it is true obedience if I can obey what does not make sense to me at the moment. So even though I ask my shepherd to give me a reason why I should obey such an instruction, he/she never gives me an answer. I am really frustrated with this situation. Should I just obey my shepherd without asking any question in this situation?

...

Hi. I am a young shepherd who has been greatly encouraged by reading the recent graceful and encouraging posts by many shepherds. I have a question regarding obedience. How do you shepherds practice obedience? Of course I try to obey based on the Bible. However it is very difficult for me to obey my shepherd, who even becomes angry at me, when my shepherd tells me to obey something that does not make any sense. I am not talking about the difficulties that I have to face if I have to obey my shepherd. I am saying that obeying my shepherd itself is very difficult for me. It really hurts me when my shepherd gives me a direction with explicit anger and bitterness. Then I guess I don't want to obey my shepherd to preserve my dignity as a human being? I understand that even shepherds are not perfect. But how can I obey a man? Why should I obey a mere man? When my shepherd asks me to obey with anger and bitterness something that doesn't make sense to me, I feel like I have been degraded to a dog which is asked to run after a stick thrown by its owner. I would appreciate any graceful and clear answer to my question. Thank you for reading.

chevlion (former Columbus UBF)

2007-11-16T13:59:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted at http://community.livejournal.com/rsqubf.)

(See also http://exubf.blogspot.com/2007/07/jim-b.html and http://exubf.blogspot.com/2007/04/peter-chang.html.)

Comment by chevlion on 2005-10-23
Subject: Thoughts on returning to UBF.

Let me apologize in advance for the length of this reply. I've made it as brief as I can. You concluded your statement by saying that if Americans leave UBF, they can return to their families. It's not as easy as that. I grew up in Columbus, Ohio and was in the OSU chapter from June 1982 to May 1992. I made three attempts to leave during that time, two of which were successful. My mom threw me out of the house in 1982 because I was 18 and I was impossible to live with, so I moved in with some UBF men. (I will post my full testimony later; I'm working on it as a response to a letter I read on the EscapeUBF website.) I first tried to leave in May 1985 because Peter Chang gave me a particularly harsh rebuke, but that departure was more of a childish acting out. Sadly, I felt so isolated from my parents that when I decided to come back, I called Peter and asked him to come get me, instead of my dad. In December 1985, one of the American shepherds was giving me some training which was actually brainwashing. I decided that I had had enough and stormed out of the center. I went to my parents' house and stayed with them until I moved into a rooming house in June 1986. Because of the way UBF had treated me, I decided I didn't love God or believe in him any more and convinced myself that he could never love me again. In November I heard a sermon about the prodigal son which reminded me that God still loved me and had never stopped loving me. In a congregation of 300 people, it felt as though the pastor were speaking only to me. I knew that I needed a relationship with God and needed to join a church. But because I didn't know anywhere else to go, I went back to UBF and joined their north campus fellowship. I moved in with a UBF family in June 1987 and spent the next four and a half years being oppressed by that fellowship's leader. (Details will be provided in my testimony.) In September 1991 I started a Master's degree program in ESL at Ohio State. In May 1992 I lost my teaching assistant position and therefore couldn't finish the Master's program. I wanted to transfer to Ohio University in Athens to finish my degree there. I mentioned this to Peter Chang after a Sunday worship a couple of weeks later and he said, "I don't think I am ready for you to do that." I turned around and left, that time for good.

Comment by chevlion on 2005-10-29
Subject: my experiences with testimonies

It wasn't just at large conferences where testimonies were so important. When I first joined the Columbus Ohio chapter in 1982, the Saturday "sogam" meetings were a mandatory event. Everyone was expected not just to attend, but also to be prepared to read a testimony each Saturday night. If someone came to the meeting without a testimony and Peter Chang found out, he subjected that person to a long and merciless rebuke in front of the whole group. The ostensible purpose for writing testimonies was to reveal how God had worked in your life, but they actually were a way for Peter and the other leaders to learn all the sordid details of your past life. They were dissatisfied with testimonies which said, "I learned that Jesus loves me." A good testimony said something like "I saw Jesus' love for me because he rescued me from being a drug-dealing axe murderer." In 1984 I shared my life testimony at the Lake Geneva Easter conference. To this day, I can't believe that I was able to stand in front of three or four hundred people and give a speech. I had always been extremely self-conscious, but I was able to overcome my fears that day. To prepare for the Lake Geneva testimony, I was told to write my autobiography. I wrote 12 or 13 pages, but it wasn't enough. Teddy urged me to write everything, so I did. My autobiography ended up being about 125 handwritten, single-spaced pages. Moses spent the 2 weeks or so before the conference helping me write the version I was going to read at the conference. They said he was helping me edit it, but he was actually making sure it toed the UBF party line. I was happy with it because Moses and Peter and Teddy were. I can't remember what my original title was, but Samuel C. Lee changed it not long before I was to go on stage. I still have no idea what his title means - "From Odds to Providence." Nothing else came of all the effort I poured into that 125-page autobiography or all the pain writing it dredged up again. I was paraded in front of everyone at the conference as a good sheep, as a reformed troubled adolescent. After the conference was over, my life returned to normal. Later, I will share more about how UBF made it their business to know all of my business, but never cared about the pain and sorrow telling them about my past put me through.

Thank God there is life after UBF! (posted by chevlion)
2005-10-23 21:12:00

I spent ten years in and out of the Ohio State UBF chapter in Columbus, Ohio -- from June 1982 to May 1992. After I left, one of the Korean missionaries left a note which said "Please come back to God" at my apartment. I had the presence of mind to know the truth that I hadn't left God at all, but I did wander for a while. The best parts of my life happened after I left UBF. I married a beautiful woman who was a believer. Through her prayer and support, I am growing in a new relationship with God at a church where we both are happy. We both are active in the church. I have a well-paying job where I am respected and my work is appreciated. I thank God that when I didn't know what to do or where to go next, he had his hand over me and guided me where he wanted me to be.

freeinchrist

2007-11-14T15:19:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted at http://community.livejournal.com/rsqubf)

Silent Sufferers (posted by freeinchrist)
2006-01-11 15:00:00

Hi everyone, I have not ever posted on one of these sites before, but I have read everything I could find about UBF on the internet. I've read postings from several current UBF supporters say that there is only a very small group of people who oppose UBF, and they are just very vocal. This is not true. Viewers, please understand that there are MANY people hurting, who oppose UBF, but who cannot make a big commotion for the sake of our loved ones who are still trapped in the system. That doesn't mean that we don't keep up on the organization or want its ministry stopped. One of the saddest things about UBF is, if someone is in the church and their family objects, they are encouraged to reject their family and remain loyal to UBF. So many people choose to suffer alone in UBF itself or to hold out for loved ones still in the church. Maybe someday I will have the freedom to post my own testimony on these websites.

A "shepherd" (Korean UBF, ca. August 2006)

2007-11-12T15:27:00.000-08:00

(Excerpted from http://community.livejournal.com/rsqubf/88751.html)

Posted by human12
11th-Aug-2006

[Translated from Korean]

I believe that everyone would agree that romantic feeling is not sin. But whenever I read our shepherds’ responses to a question regarding this matter, I do not understand what they are talking about. Are they saying that we should just accept the current tradition of marriage by faith for the sake of UBF ministry even though romantic feeling is not sin? Or are they saying that we should change our unbiblical tradition of marriage by faith and make it more biblical?

Personally, the most serious problem about how we view romantic feeling in UBF is being judgmental toward sister members. I feel so sorry for those sisters who say that they become very uncomfortable when they meet brothers in their chapters. They don’t even try to look at them. Whenever I hear a testimony in which a sister repents her sin of romantic feeling toward a brother, I always think that there is something wrong about this whole thing.

Maybe we should take a different approach to this problem. Maybe we should help them with the love of God so that their romantic feeling does not lead to sin. If we continue in the present legalistic and controlling environment, they would just try to hide their romantic feeling in their hearts and they will become more spiritually sick because of that.

What do you think about it?

...

What I was trying to do in my previous post was to explain that under present circumstances and organizational structure in UBF, one’s romantic feeling could not but be condemned as sin and be controlled.

I think that it is not a healthy Christian faith to condemn oneself because of romantic feeling and to consider romantic feeling sin before God. As you mentioned, I think one cannot have a fellowship with others when one tries to avoid a fellow Christian because of uncomfortable feeling. The UBF marriage by faith is a pillar that supports its ministry. I think UBF controls one’s romantic feeling due to the UBF marriage by faith, which is considered abnormal.

I don’t think it is a proper way of having Christian faith to look at everything and to be controlled within the framework made by men. It is not Christian faith to glorify men-made framework by preserving it. It is not Christian faith to consider men-made framework the standard of Christian faith and to apply it to other people to judge them. But there are still so many people who think that it is Christian faith to hold stead fast to the men-made framework. They even think that they have a powerful faith when they can demonstrate conspicuously their loyalty to this framework. They even regard that kind of loyalty as dedication to God. They have lost ability and will to overcome this framework. They have settled themselves down with this men-made framework. This is at the heart of the problem.

...

The fundamental problem lies in UBF-style marriage by faith. A marriage by faith cannot be conducted just based on human terms, mission direction given in an organization and quick and sudden transaction in a rush --; One must realizes all these problems associated with UBF-style marriage by faith. So one needs to have courage to make a decision on his own to make sure that his marriage partner is really suitable for him to continue to love God and serve him together all his life. The reason I cannot speak up strongly is that the current UBF environment does not allow me to do so.

A marriage by faith cannot be decided by others. It is not a children’s play either. We are all grown up adults. We should not be troubled by other’s decision or order about our own marriage. We should also overcome all judgmental eyes and control about our romantic feeling even though doing so is very difficult in UBF environment.

In conclusion, the control of romantic feeling is a by-product of an effort to preserve the tradition of UBF-style marriage by faith. It is not going to be easy to do so as an individual. But we have no choice but to resort to our own individual faith, decision and will. Most of all, when a person express his opinion about the whole matter, to be honest with, that opinion is treated with silent contempt and the person is criticized. This is our reality—- That is why I could not speak directly abut the whole problem in my post but do it indirectly. Even the Bible says that a marriage by faith should be based on one’s own choice among fellow Christians. The Bible never says that a marriage by faith should be determined by other and we have to struggle to accept it. The Bible doesn’t even talk about anything against romantic feeling. I also want to mention that each person in UBF should change his idea about the matter. We should also guard ourselves against the yeast of being accustomed to being controlled and being forced to obey through the tradition of UBF-style marriage by faith.

Please, dear sheep, do not be influence by other’s opinion and idea. You should make the decision on your own by faith about the relationship that you are going to have. Whenever you see undergraduate girl sheep who feel uncomfortable with meeting other brothers, you should tell them that it does not have to be that way. In that way, we can change the current environment. When everyone lives no longer before men trying to please men and when everyone lives before God to please him, then the time will finally come for us to lead a much better Christian life.

A "student shepherd" (Korean UBF, ca. August 2006)

2007-11-06T09:54:00.000-08:00

(Excerpted from http://community.livejournal.com/rsqubf/87445.html)

Posted by human12
6th-Aug-2006

In post 1373, a student shepherd responds to the staff shepherd’s three arguments. The student says that man is not robot. God created man with feeling. So [UBF] trying to control feeling of love that arises in man naturally for the sake of business is wrong. Then the student asks some specific questions regarding the three arguments by the UBF staff shepherd. I will just give an brief translation of the student’s arguments.

[Translation follows.]

First, what do you mean by “obeying God’s sovereignty”? Marriage is basically decided by the two who are getting married. Does it make any sense that a third person, a shepherd, besides the two who are getting married should be involved in making this important decision? There could be some advice or counseling about making this important decision. But if a staff shepherd, a third party, is trying to decide who should marry who, then the shepherd has stepped over the boundary of his/her authority. There is no place in the Bible that says we should marry based on mission rather than on love.

Second, you said the “mission” is the most important in UBF. But who decides “mission” for my life? Does UBF decides what my life mission should be? You said that marriage should be based on mission. But how can you say that one’s life of mission and marriage life would work ok just because two persons have that same “mission”? Don’t you think that one’s life of mission and marriage life would work much better if the marriage is based on love?

Third, you said you would never allow any relationship based on personal feeling or love and a marriage based on love in your [UBF] chapter. Is this your personal opinion or is this the decision of the whole UBF leadership? [Answer: the latter] If this is the case, then you should make this UBF opinion about marriage very clear from the beginning of your recruitment and training. Why do you recruit students without any mention of these things and only let them know when they are deeply involved in UBF ministry? Don’t you think this is kind of cultic?

Fourth, you said UBF marriage by faith is not perfect but beautiful enough to be preserved. But please do not forget that there are many families in UBF who are going through so many unnecessary hardships because UBF practice of marriage by faith.

In conclusion, I feel so frustrated by your three arguments. I was expecting a more honest discussion regarding the matter of marriage, love and mission in UBF. Don’t think that we are corrupt because we place such a great importance on love in marriage. We love God’s mission as much as you value love in marriage.

LoveJesus

2007-11-02T13:29:00.000-07:00

(Excerpted from http://community.livejournal.com/rsqubf/12740.html)

LoveJesus - Posted Jun 6, 2005, 10:43 pm

I have heard a lot of bad press about the UBF so I told a friend of mine, who is in the UBF that I was concerned. He told me that they produce good fruit, that they save souls.

I was told that the UBF is a radical ministry, and goes to great lengths to do the Godly thing, and that many Christian churches are spiritually dead. In contrast, the UBF would look odd. I agreed that many churches are simply giving lip service to God. I would do as the Bible says, and to test the spirit. I would see if they followed God or man.

So I called the Chicago UBF and I asked them what ministries they had to reach out the poor. They had none. I asked if they ran a soup kitchen. They did not. I asked, what if a homeless person comes to the UBF door. I was told they refer them elsewhere. I asked if they had a prison ministry. They did not. I asked them if they had a sick or shut/in or hospital ministry. They did not.

So I ask you, if you are reading this. Where have you placed your trust? Do you trust the UBF or God? For, the UBF does not think their members need to feed the hungry, help the sick, clothe the homeless or visit prisoners. This is the work of "other ministries" - you know, those "other" Christian ministries, meaning, not the UBF.

Turn to Matthew 25: 41"Then he [Jesus] will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'
44"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?' 45"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.' 46"Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."

Do you trust this Word, or the UBF? God bless you.

LoveJesus Posted Yesterday, 2:33 pm (June 7, 2005)

...

Every church should serve the greater community that does not belong to the church.

The Bible says, you will know them [true Christians] for their love. And not just love for each other, because, as the Bible says, even the pagan has love for his brother.

I have found the people in UBF to be very sincere. But there is something very wrong in the teaching. It hurts my heart that they are suffering needlessly.

...

I don't think it is wrong to FOCUS on Bible study, but when your ministry becomes SOLELY about having new members join, then that is a big problem. It is not wrong to FOCUS on college students, but when the ministry is EXCLUSIONARY of others, then it is wrong. The doors of the church should be open to EVERYONE.

...

I am not passing judgment on you - make no mistake. I think people in the UBF work incredibly hard to do what they think is right. What I think is that they work incredibly hard needlessly. God has opened my eyes to the spiritual starvation among the members of the UBF.

I have gone to UBF testimonies and see how the joy of Christ has been sapped from them. I've been in God for ... a very long time, and I grow in joy every day. Every day my spirit grows, every day God draws closer to me.

I have seen miracles happen, healing in bodies and families. How can a UBFer see the work of God in their families when they have abandoned them? How can they testify in joy to God's grace?

Brian, I want you to understand the difference between religion and God. In the UBF religion takes precedence before God. That is just my opinion. I love God with all of my heart, and it hurts me to know that sincere people are doing so much to earn what is free.

In Christ, you are free.

Do you feel free? Do you feel the freedom of Christ? Or, do you feel obligations, pressure, spiritual torment?

It is not out of judgment that I say these things to you. It is out of love. God bless you.

LoveJesus Posted Yesterday, 4:37 pm (June 7, 2005)

I don't want to put you on the defensive. Revelations says that the churches will be judged before the rest, and more harshly, because to much that has been given, much is expected.

Jesus didn't primarily preach to unbelievers. Rather, he mostly preached to sincere believers who had lost the GOOD news. The law was a gift that freed and they turned it into a curse to bind.

...

I don't see how you can come to that conclusion based on what I said. What I said was that it is okay to focus on college students. But, the doors of the church should be open to everyone. Are you saying that the church should be closed to people? Are you saying that the college student is more deserving of your ministry than the homeless man? My mentality is that of Christ.

...

Jesus included everyone. He included the Samaritan, and even upheld one as being even greater in brotherhood than the devout Jew. He included the prostitute, the destitute, the clean and the unclean, the rich and the poor. He didn't condone what they did. But he did allow them to come to him. He didn't close himself off to those who wanted salvation. Even the woman who pushed herself through the crowd, to sneak a touch of his garment, he said to her, your faith has made you well.

...

The UBF seems exclusionary to me because they prefer the college student to the dropout, the white to the black, the Korean to the Japanese. It seems exclusionary because a person in the UBF will not allow a person of another sex into their quarters.

...

You say you are free. What if, in your freedom, you decided to go on vacation and spent a month with your family. Are you free to make that decision? To come and go as you please?

What if, in your freedom, you decide to worship on Sunday at another church instead of the UBF worship. Do you feel free to do that?

What if, in your freedom, you decide to worship on Sunday a hilltop? To go away and be joined with God in an intimate and alone way. What if you did that for 10 Sundays in a row? Do you feel free to do that?

Realize I'm not asking if you would do it or have any inclination to do it. I'm asking that if you wanted to do it, could you, without having to explain yourself? Do you have the freedom that Christ has given you? Can you disengage with the church to engage with God?

Again, I do not attack you. My heart carries a heavy burden because I have been given much by God. People pray all of their lives to see what I have seen. So, with this gift comes much responsibility. One of those responsibilities is to make sure God's good and faithful sheep are not led astray by following man over God.

LoveJesus Posted Yesterday, 6:03 pm (June 7, 2005)

...

Honestly? I want to know how to help my friend [in UBF]. I believe he is sincere in his quest for God. But, in doing things men [UBF "shepherds"] say, he gets further and further away. He does not have the permanant joy of God, but the temporary joy of one who has been congratulated by men for their works. The problem with works is that you have to keep working to keep getting congratulated. In Christ, there is peace. This wonderful human being is full of worry. It hurts me to know that someone so bright and full of Christ's love can live in such misery and uncertainty. I hurt for him, because I know what he is missing out on, and it is something wonderful.

How can someone who spends so much time in activities "regarding" God actually DOUBT His existence? I contend that if he spent that same amount of time he spends in church [UBF] meetings actually COMMUNING with God, he would KNOW God intimately. His faith would be stronger. He would grow in peace.

You said, no, you don't feel free to commune with God over going to church. Then, my brother, you are not free, and you do not have the freedom Christ has given you. You know in your heart this is the truth I tell today.

You quoted that everything is permissible but not beneficial. I urge you to look at the MANY times Christ felt the need to LEAVE his ministry to commune with God by himself. For days and days and weeks on end. If you think this is not beneficial, then the behavior of your own savior offends you.

I ask you, aren't we supposed to imitate Christ? What would the UBF say if you imitated Christ? Would they say you've been possessed by the devil? Would they say you are evil or love the world? What would they say if you allowed a prostitute to touch you? What would they say if you ate dinner in the house of pagans? What would they say if you brought thirty barrels of wine to a wedding? What would they say? What would they say to Christ if he was in front of them doing these things today? Would they rebuke him and tell him to come down off that mountain and come to church?

You have chosen to commune with the church over communing with your God. It is why you don't have the peace you so desperately want. The UBF will tell you that you don't have the peace because you haven't worked enough, haven't given yourself enough to the UBF mission. I tell you that you don't have the peace you seek because you look for God in others. God speaks directly. The Bible says to BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD. When was the last time you were still?

LoveJesus Posted Yesterday, 7:06 pm (June 7, 2005)

Brother, I have never been a member of the UBF. Please do not be mistaken. I am not saying that UBF members don't follow God.

On the contrary. I have found them to be very sincere. This is why it hurts. Because I see their pain right through their skin. They are doing so much! They are so tired.

I see that they are stretching themselves thin to please God and wonder why they aren't happy. And I contend it is because they are pleasing people, who say they are speaking for God.

...

I never implied that you could or should [do whatever you want]. What I did imply was that if you imitated the actions of Christ, the UBF would not be happy, because it would go against the UBF program.

An example: Jesus preached at many different synagogues and on the street. What would happen if you decided that you would take your message to a Southern Baptist church that Sunday? And the next week, instead of attending UBF services, you went to an Apostolic Church? Would you be rebuked for not attending UBF services?

...

Make no mistake, Brian. I know you have hurts. I know that you are sincere. I know that you have worked hard to further God's agenda. But now, it is time for you to graduate. The UBF helped you learn how to dedicate yourself, to discipline yourself. Now, it is time to learn new things. Learn it from the Master. You don't need an intermediary. The UBF isn't code word for "God's people." God doesn't have a brand name, but the UBF will have you believe that He does. Jesus wasn't loyal to one church or temple. He was loyal to God. Imitate Jesus. It is our goal, as Christians.