(The following post and testimony from the old RSQUBF message board illustrates how the false teaching of the "cursed woman's desire" is used to manipulate people's hearts and lives in UBF.)
Author: kate
Subject: none
Marriage was discussed at almost every "one-to-one Bible study" it seemed. Somehow, two of my three teachers found a way of bringing up either the marriage problem or asking "who did I want to marry?" I'd say no one, and they'd reply that they would "get it out of me." Finally, I did decide to choose some one to please my teacher. I didn't choose one I liked (I didn't actually KNOW any shepherds; you aren't really given opportunities for conversation with the opposite sex there), so instead I chose one who I thought was the most "spiritually mature" from hearing many of his testimonies. My shepherdess was pleased, but now I wore the label of "cursed woman" and shouldn't think of the shepherd again.
Shortly after, she said the name of a different shepherd who was new (I thought) to UBF, and I was to "think about this shepherd."
As I neared 21 years old, the pressure was on. I was often called to SL's office just to hear about what a great degree and job and how good looking this perso n was and did I think I was too good for him? Soon, SL said, I would only be a tall, ugly woman. I hung my head. I felt ashamed and of course, not good enough to marry any shepherd. I wanted the issue to go away. I became very uncomfortable around this person. The worst was when my parents came to check out the UBF church and SL rushed to introduce them to the shepherd. Meanwhile, I stood to the side, feeling out of place. When my parents asked me if SL wanted to set us up on a date, I explained, "no, he wants us to marry." When they asked if I liked the person, I simply said, "you have just spent more time face to face with him than I ever have." It was strange and unromantic and confusing.
After leaving UBF, I found out that the shepherd had been told that he and I were engaged. If that is true, then people were playing games with us, because I was never told I was engaged. (how strange it is to find out you were engaged and didn't even know it!!) How sad to play with peoples' hearts in such a way. That was my experience with UBF marriage. I hope it helps you in some way, UBF soul.
