(Posted at http://www.xanga.com/parkhjoy/45292398/item.html )
Sunday, November 23, 2003
church is a place where people gather together to help each other to worship and serve God. But church can be also a place full of gossip and disappointments and scars. Going to church is a right attitude to have in God. However, when one is hurt so badly because of the people in the church, the church becomes the reason why one doesn't want to follow God anymore, because he/she sees the church and the people, "Christians," as harmful and unwelcoming.
I have been to many different churches in the past. I am a protetant, but I don't mind going to catholic services. I am currently going to a church called UBF (University Bible Fellowship). many koreans whom I have met recently seem to think that UBF isn't a real church, but just a Christian organization where people are trained to become missionaries. I guess I never thought about that aspect of UBF, but it is true that UBF people are trained to become good bible teachers/shepherds, and also to become missionaries who work for God in foreign countries. UBF is also a church to me, because I go there every Sunday to worship God.
I feel that there is a strong traiditionism in UBF. Not in every UBF, but in some UBFs many traditions are emphasized like writing and sharing testimonies on Fridays, having one-to-one Bible studies, going fishing (which means you go out to campus to ask students to study the Bible or to ask them to come to one of the church meetings/worship services), and if one is musician, which I consider myslef to be one, practicing/playing in an orchestra to prepare music for the Sunday worship services and some special events. I think that all these are very good things to do. When they are done in the right spirit before God, they can allow one to grow more spiritually. But when people become so focused on the actual traidtion and not on God problems arise. When people are concerned with the number of their sheep (refer to bible students), the number of the people they invite to the worship services, and etc., they forget the true meaning of worshipping God and obeying His words.
I truly admire UBF missionaries/shepherds because many of them work ardously to participate in God's salvation work. I am glad that I am involved in UBF and to even have some people whom I can study the Bible with. But I see that some times people in UBF are so close-minded, and they do not learn from other Christians. Some people are so used to UBF traditions that they forget why one wouldn't want to write testimonies each week. Some people have never gone to other Christian meetings, like the Navigator and Campus Crusade for Christ, and they only know what it is like to be in UBF.
I have never met Dr. Samuel Lee personally. But I do know that he was used by God to establish UBF, and he did a great work in God because UBF has become one of God's instruments to preach the Gospel. It was through UBF missionaries that I have come to know Christ personally, so I am grateful for UBF. However, when I see people who think of Dr. Samuel Lee as God's servant whom they should ALWAYS obey (just because he is God's servant), I wonder whether they are putting God first or a human being first. It's not that I am against obeying church leaders. Of course, I should obey God's servants, because that's the right spirit before God. However, when the servant has done something wrong, when the servant has brought down people's spiritual lives because of his/her own actions/thoughts/words (which do not come from God, but from the human nature), people should be able to discern whether the servant is really doing what God inteded him/her to do. There must have been a reason why so many people left UBF. And I personally don't think that those people left UBF just to rebel against God's servants. But some people think that the people who left UBF were being rebellious to God's servant, Dr. Samuel Lee, and that they weren't following God. (I strongly disagree with this kind of opinions.) If people think that objecting to Dr. Lee's certain behaviours, which did not come from God's own but from human calculations and expectations, is wrong thing to do, that's okay with me. But if they are so blinded to the extent that they can't see ANYTHING wrong in a human being, I think that that's a problem.
It seems like I am being so against UBF, but I am not trying to do that. Then why do I say all these bad things about UBF? well, I didn't say bad things about UBF, but I said some things about the people who seem to be close-minded. UBF is a good place to be, but some people who claim that they want to live by faith and yet have human calculations, seem to cause many others ( who need spiritual help) to turn away from God and from His people.
A friend of mine has told me that UBF is a cult. He/she has been in UBF for a long time, but apparently his/her family were hurt a lot because of UBF. I don't know the details, but it probably has to do with a UBF's director, because that's usually where the problem comes from. When a church leader forgets to fix his/her eyes on Jesus, he/she begins to act like a dictator, thus scarring many people's heart. My friend was mad at him/her when I was telling him/her that maybe he/she shouldn't generalize so much and that he/she should let go of the hatred which he/she has toward UBF. But I have to admit that I had no right telling him/her things like that. I have never been in a situation where I was so hurt to the extent that I wanted to leave UBF. My family isn't in UBF, so I haven't experienced my whole family being the victim of the "dictatorship." But I see that some people in UBF lack shepherd heart for people around them. Instead of trying to understand, some UBF people tend to make their "sheep" feel guilty by asking them "why can't you come?" Asking part is okay, but if they do not desire to UNDERSTAND the reason for not coming to worship services or to Friday meetings or to Bible studies, how can the "sheep" actually tell them the reason without feeling guilty?? I actually think that they don't even have to ask "why" because they do not really need to know the reason. Don't they believe that God knows why their "sheep" is not coming to the services/bible studies? If they have that faith, they might as well just pray for the "sheep" so that God may move the "sheep"'s hearts to come to the worship services/Bible studies. Trying to know everything about one's life is sometimes too burndening. I feel like some people in UBF try to dictate one's life instead of trying to let God control. Having expectations from the "sheep" is okay, but I wish that they didn't push their own thoughts so much on their "sheep." They might think that certain things are the best for their "sheep," but sometimes what they think of the best isn't always the best for the "sheep."
ok.. I guess I had lot to say today..God knows my heart, and I pray that I may always be willing to change myself/my attitude when God wants me to.. so that I may be more understanding and discerning rather than being more critical and close-minded. God can work in so many different ways, and if my heart/mind is closed, I cannot see the work of God in other people's lives. Lord, give me a humble heart, and Lord, give me the strength bear all the things you have entrusted to me. thank you!:)
Posted 11/23/2003 9:16 AM
