(See also http://exubf.blogspot.com/2008/11/chris-j-former-chicago-ubf.html and http://exubf.blogspot.com/2009/01/john-w-former-columbus-ubf.html.)
(The original scanned copy of a 1985 letter sent to Lee and Barry by the parents of a Chicago UBF recruit can be found here. The writer was a retired pastor in the Evangelical Covenant Church. His letter reveals just how little UBF's fundamentally wrong teachings and practices have changed in all this time.)
March 22, 1985
Dear Sarah and Mr. Lee:
For several reasons, we have deliberately delayed a response to your letter. May and I needed time to let the many experiences over the last two or three months filter through both of our minds and emotions. He have prayed much about Chris over the past several months. As various events unfolded in January, it was obvious that God was in what we were doing. Our prayers were two-fold: for wisdom in releasing Chris from the control of U.B.F. and also that she would find real peace and purpose in new directions of Christian fellowship and ministry. It is thrilling for us to see her openly sharing with us again, both in terms of Christian concerns as well as in family experiences.
Time to formulate a letter to you has also been at a minimum. Although we will not attempt to respond to everything you discussed, some matters deserve comment. I do have the same problem as you, however - it is hard to say something briefly.
Another reason for hesitating to write immediately was that we wanted to be careful to express ourselves in a way which genuinely reflected our deep concerns about U.B.F and its ministry. You obviously are not aware of what you were doing to Chris and to others in that program. We're trusting that through prayer and the leading of God‘s Spirit, some of these thoughts can be adequately put on paper.
We feel that the Gospel intends that people will find freedom in their relationship with Christ (John 8:32-36) - freedom from sin and guilt and the resulting freedom to share their faith with all people - including their family, all Christians and those outside of Christ. The message Chris received from U.B.F. was that she was bound to believe and do and teach things exactly as taught her, and only as you taught her. She felt guilty if she didn't study for hours and hours or if she failed to pray as often as she had been told to do. She felt compelled to write sogams so far into the night that sometimes she wasn't physically alert for her job. She got a clear signal about evangelizing those without Christ, but found less and less time to share her faith and life with her family and other Christians.
I came from a strongly evangelical background so I realize that we need to discipline ourselves in Bible study, prayer and commitment if we are to deepen our relationship with the Lord. But when Bible study, prayer and other disciplines result in the kind of "guilt trips" I've seen in Chris and others who have been part of U.B.F., something is seriously wrong. Paul speaks in Galatians 3 about the difference between law and grace. So easily we deceive ourselves into thinking that regimentation and training can improve upon the work of the Spirit. Could it be that Paul has something to say to U.B.F. in verse 3? I think so.
Jesus had some rather strong words for those who put themselves in places of authority and were lording it over others in leadership roles. James and John had tried to establish a preferred position with Christ. Jesus reminds us (Mark l0:42-45) to be servants of each other, not to insist on having authority over others. Elders in 1 Peter 5:1-5 were asked to be examples to the flock ~ not ones who would lord it over those entrusted to them.
The kind of teaching and nurture U.B.F. is providing, in my opinion, is extra-scriptural. You are laying burdens on your members which are unhealthy. You are setting yourselves up as authority figures of the Church and of Christian discipline without even recognizing the greater Church around you.
Several things you mention illustrate what I'm trying to say. You say that Chris deliberately tried to seduce boys at U.B.F. What really happened is that she was friendly with everyone - girls as well as boys. God did not make a mistake when he created male and female with differences. Our task as Christian parents and leaders is to teach young people to accept their sexuality and learn to appreciate it and express it properly, not to suppress it or regard it as something bad or unfortunate. It appears to me that you couldn't handle the responsibility of leading young people into meaningful co-ed Christian experiences. Instead you made her feel guilty about some very normal feelings which she and other young people have.
Your arranging of marriages is neither scripturally nor socially sound. You can find no basis for that practice in the teaching of Christ or from any other New Testament passage. Taking one or two Old Testament passages from which to develop such a procedure is very questionable. The Scriptures exhort us to utilize _all_ of God's Word in formulating policies and doctrines - and to avoid pulling out one or two proof texts at will with which to develop a thought or belief. Your use of this practice merely illustrates further how far you are willing to go to control and maneuver your members. You have no right to pre-destine two lives into this relationship for a lifetime. You can and should pray with young people and for them in this very significant step in life, but they are the ones who, after prayer and times of learning to know each other, must decide whether or not their marriage is to be. I shudder to think that you were arranging this marriage for Chris and John. I hope you also have the good sense and Christian conviction to shudder at what you were trying to do - and what you are doing and have done with a number of other couples. What is your answer to them if they come later to say that they now realize they were not meant for each other? Would you assume the blame at that point - or would you blame them?
Your use of mind control (via study materials, written and re-written sogams, time commitments, etc.) makes it impossible for people in U.B.F. to fully hear and respond to God's voice and the Holy Spirit. You have steeped these people so heavily with your interpretations of Scripture, many of which do not stand up to real scrutiny and a proper understanding of the passage, that they cannot hear what others are trying to say to them. Chris, for example, was led to think that our church and even our family was second-rate and not to be trusted. Maybe this can help you understand why we saw no value in trying to talk to you about our concern for her welfare. You would simply have led her to question the validity of her family and church in further ways. we didn't want to have her subjected to any more of that kind of instruction or influence.
Chris is happier than we have seen her for years. She realizes now that, although she learned some good things through U.B.F., your method of indoctrinating people and controlling them, is wrong. Evidently she had already discussed some of these things with you.
We might have tried to counsel Chris ourselves but we weren't sure how effective this would be. We are grateful for Christian professional counsellors. Their sensitivity and caring spirit impressed us immensely. They did not want or try to destroy a person's Christian faith but they were concerned that Chris would learn to think for herself again. Your letter indicates that you have no knowledge about these types of counsellors.
Your understanding of the others who have left U.B.F. is evidently lacking also. Seemingly you are determined to defame and discredit any who leave U.B.F. I've talked to and prayed with several of those you mention in your letter. They aren't "dark and nervous, like a psychiatric patient", nor "fearful, nervous..." They are instead free to make their own choices in life. They speak of the fact that a burden has been removed from their lives. They now are able to seek what the Lord really wants them to do. Some are planning and preparing for Christian service. All are concerned that they will continue to grow in the knowledge of Jesus Christ. However, the emotional damage which U.B.F. inflicted will take time to heal. To be involved in the kind of tainted teaching and training which U.B.F. conducts doesn't wash out in a few weeks or months.
We are concerned about U.B.F. What started out as a tremendously important and effective ministry in Korea has now gone in a direction which cannot be God's plan for it. The largest single problem with U.B.F. is that it has divorced itself from the Church. Christ is the head of the Church. He established it and sent the twelve to go to all the world, teaching and preaching this good news. There have been times, undoubtedly, when God has been disappointed with His Church, but He has never given up on it. Yet, you seemingly feel that you can and should work apart from this Church. I hope that you will prayerfully re-examine your lack of relationship with it and find some way to re-establish yourself with His Body.
"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." - Ga1. 5:1. I'm grateful that several have found release from what was a bondage in U.B.F. Our prayers are that you too will sense that Paul's words here apply to several of the practices and teachings which are taking place in your group.
This is much too long a letter. Even so it cannot really say all that should he said. I am open for a chance to talk with you about these matters - but not to argue about them. These are serious matters which need to be resolved.
Sincerely,
Dwight J
