Dwight J. (Father of former Chicago UBF member)

(See also http://exubf.blogspot.com/2008/11/chris-j-former-chicago-ubf.html and http://exubf.blogspot.com/2009/01/john-w-former-columbus-ubf.html.)

(The original scanned copy of a 1985 letter sent to Lee and Barry by the parents of a Chicago UBF recruit can be found here. The writer was a retired pastor in the Evangelical Covenant Church. His letter reveals just how little UBF's fundamentally wrong teachings and practices have changed in all this time.)

March 22, 1985

Dear Sarah and Mr. Lee:

For several reasons, we have deliberately delayed a response to your letter. May and I needed time to let the many experiences over the last two or three months filter through both of our minds and emotions. He have prayed much about Chris over the past several months. As various events unfolded in January, it was obvious that God was in what we were doing. Our prayers were two-fold: for wisdom in releasing Chris from the control of U.B.F. and also that she would find real peace and purpose in new directions of Christian fellowship and ministry. It is thrilling for us to see her openly sharing with us again, both in terms of Christian concerns as well as in family experiences.

Time to formulate a letter to you has also been at a minimum. Although we will not attempt to respond to everything you discussed, some matters deserve comment. I do have the same problem as you, however - it is hard to say something briefly.

Another reason for hesitating to write immediately was that we wanted to be careful to express ourselves in a way which genuinely reflected our deep concerns about U.B.F and its ministry. You obviously are not aware of what you were doing to Chris and to others in that program. We're trusting that through prayer and the leading of God‘s Spirit, some of these thoughts can be adequately put on paper.

We feel that the Gospel intends that people will find freedom in their relationship with Christ (John 8:32-36) - freedom from sin and guilt and the resulting freedom to share their faith with all people - including their family, all Christians and those outside of Christ. The message Chris received from U.B.F. was that she was bound to believe and do and teach things exactly as taught her, and only as you taught her. She felt guilty if she didn't study for hours and hours or if she failed to pray as often as she had been told to do. She felt compelled to write sogams so far into the night that sometimes she wasn't physically alert for her job. She got a clear signal about evangelizing those without Christ, but found less and less time to share her faith and life with her family and other Christians.

I came from a strongly evangelical background so I realize that we need to discipline ourselves in Bible study, prayer and commitment if we are to deepen our relationship with the Lord. But when Bible study, prayer and other disciplines result in the kind of "guilt trips" I've seen in Chris and others who have been part of U.B.F., something is seriously wrong. Paul speaks in Galatians 3 about the difference between law and grace. So easily we deceive ourselves into thinking that regimentation and training can improve upon the work of the Spirit. Could it be that Paul has something to say to U.B.F. in verse 3? I think so.

Jesus had some rather strong words for those who put themselves in places of authority and were lording it over others in leadership roles. James and John had tried to establish a preferred position with Christ. Jesus reminds us (Mark l0:42-45) to be servants of each other, not to insist on having authority over others. Elders in 1 Peter 5:1-5 were asked to be examples to the flock ~ not ones who would lord it over those entrusted to them.

The kind of teaching and nurture U.B.F. is providing, in my opinion, is extra-scriptural. You are laying burdens on your members which are unhealthy. You are setting yourselves up as authority figures of the Church and of Christian discipline without even recognizing the greater Church around you.

Several things you mention illustrate what I'm trying to say. You say that Chris deliberately tried to seduce boys at U.B.F. What really happened is that she was friendly with everyone - girls as well as boys. God did not make a mistake when he created male and female with differences. Our task as Christian parents and leaders is to teach young people to accept their sexuality and learn to appreciate it and express it properly, not to suppress it or regard it as something bad or unfortunate. It appears to me that you couldn't handle the responsibility of leading young people into meaningful co-ed Christian experiences. Instead you made her feel guilty about some very normal feelings which she and other young people have.

Your arranging of marriages is neither scripturally nor socially sound. You can find no basis for that practice in the teaching of Christ or from any other New Testament passage. Taking one or two Old Testament passages from which to develop such a procedure is very questionable. The Scriptures exhort us to utilize _all_ of God's Word in formulating policies and doctrines - and to avoid pulling out one or two proof texts at will with which to develop a thought or belief. Your use of this practice merely illustrates further how far you are willing to go to control and maneuver your members. You have no right to pre-destine two lives into this relationship for a lifetime. You can and should pray with young people and for them in this very significant step in life, but they are the ones who, after prayer and times of learning to know each other, must decide whether or not their marriage is to be. I shudder to think that you were arranging this marriage for Chris and John. I hope you also have the good sense and Christian conviction to shudder at what you were trying to do - and what you are doing and have done with a number of other couples. What is your answer to them if they come later to say that they now realize they were not meant for each other? Would you assume the blame at that point - or would you blame them?

Your use of mind control (via study materials, written and re-written sogams, time commitments, etc.) makes it impossible for people in U.B.F. to fully hear and respond to God's voice and the Holy Spirit. You have steeped these people so heavily with your interpretations of Scripture, many of which do not stand up to real scrutiny and a proper understanding of the passage, that they cannot hear what others are trying to say to them. Chris, for example, was led to think that our church and even our family was second-rate and not to be trusted. Maybe this can help you understand why we saw no value in trying to talk to you about our concern for her welfare. You would simply have led her to question the validity of her family and church in further ways. we didn't want to have her subjected to any more of that kind of instruction or influence.

Chris is happier than we have seen her for years. She realizes now that, although she learned some good things through U.B.F., your method of indoctrinating people and controlling them, is wrong. Evidently she had already discussed some of these things with you.

We might have tried to counsel Chris ourselves but we weren't sure how effective this would be. We are grateful for Christian professional counsellors. Their sensitivity and caring spirit impressed us immensely. They did not want or try to destroy a person's Christian faith but they were concerned that Chris would learn to think for herself again. Your letter indicates that you have no knowledge about these types of counsellors.

Your understanding of the others who have left U.B.F. is evidently lacking also. Seemingly you are determined to defame and discredit any who leave U.B.F. I've talked to and prayed with several of those you mention in your letter. They aren't "dark and nervous, like a psychiatric patient", nor "fearful, nervous..." They are instead free to make their own choices in life. They speak of the fact that a burden has been removed from their lives. They now are able to seek what the Lord really wants them to do. Some are planning and preparing for Christian service. All are concerned that they will continue to grow in the knowledge of Jesus Christ. However, the emotional damage which U.B.F. inflicted will take time to heal. To be involved in the kind of tainted teaching and training which U.B.F. conducts doesn't wash out in a few weeks or months.

We are concerned about U.B.F. What started out as a tremendously important and effective ministry in Korea has now gone in a direction which cannot be God's plan for it. The largest single problem with U.B.F. is that it has divorced itself from the Church. Christ is the head of the Church. He established it and sent the twelve to go to all the world, teaching and preaching this good news. There have been times, undoubtedly, when God has been disappointed with His Church, but He has never given up on it. Yet, you seemingly feel that you can and should work apart from this Church. I hope that you will prayerfully re-examine your lack of relationship with it and find some way to re-establish yourself with His Body.

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." - Ga1. 5:1. I'm grateful that several have found release from what was a bondage in U.B.F. Our prayers are that you too will sense that Paul's words here apply to several of the practices and teachings which are taking place in your group.

This is much too long a letter. Even so it cannot really say all that should he said. I am open for a chance to talk with you about these matters - but not to argue about them. These are serious matters which need to be resolved.

Sincerely,

Dwight J

David T. (relative of former UBF member)

Why do I care and why am I doing this? - Our Personal story:

A close relative of our family was innocently taken in by UBF. When we first found out he was involved in a worldwide "church group", of which we had not heard, we decided to investigate. The theology sounded fine on the surface, but something was just a bit off. We went to a UBF meeting, and, among other things, found it strange that the five speakers (1 Asian and 4 white) all spoke with the same staccato Asian accent of those who are non-native English speakers. We investigated further, coming to the realization it was a very unhealthy environment. There is now WAY more information out than there was then.

We became aware of his involvement a little over a year into it, just as he was leaving the "love bomb" phase and was entering the "spiritual training"/indoctrination phase. When confronted with the truth, he came to believe it was a cult, and got out. Having developed a love for those who are deceived by lies in a wrapper of truth, he is now becoming a missionary to Mormons.

In the words of Edmund Burke, "All that is necessary for Evil to triumph is for good men to say nothing." Do not the scriptures say "For his yoke is easy and his burden is light" and elsewhere "Stand firm and do not be subject to a yoke of slavery"? We cannot allow erroneous teaching in the church, or we will have human suffering on OUR hands. We cannot stand idly by while error is presented under the guise of truth in the Body of Christ. Weaker brothers and sisters in Christ will be too easily led astray and into a bondage that transcends the bondage of legalism, directly into spiritual slavery to mere man.

David T.
2003

Anonymous (former India UBF)

(Posted at http://marvinthangjam.blogspot.com)

(A former India UBF member briefly recounts his and his wife's UBF experience through a blog post that is meant to be from the perspective of his infant son.)

Thursday, November 29, 2007

...

My father. He came to Delhi with many unfulfilled tasks. He did not fare well in his +2 as much as he expected. He did not join medicine or engineering as many of his friends did. Dr. Romen Keisham, a schoolmate of my father used to say, he was lucky to meet my mother and change the course of his life. During the first two years, first my father joined a Christian Cult, called University Bible Fellowhip. And in his remaining days of the graduation days, he got involved with the Manipur Students' Association, Delhi. Only after, they met each other, he did begin to concentrate in his studies, successfully cleared his graduation and joined Jawaharlal Nehru University, Delhi for his post graduation in political science. That was in 1996.

They met each other in October 1993 in a Bible Conference organised by UBF at Mt. Carmel School, New Delhi. But they exchanged their first kiss in a small park at Motibagh II, where they're staying. The date: October 31, 1993. They're starcrossed lovers. My father left UBF because they started pressing him to abandon my mother. [Tried to break up their relationship.] They do not exactly remember the date, but it was on a hot summer day. My father was persuaded to travel on a Summer Camp [conference], UBF, at Nainital. My father ran back from the railway station (Old Delhi) to my mother. There he found her weeping like a lost girl. Since then, he stopped visiting the UBF. Good for them.

...

Mary

(Originally posted at voy.com/60734/. See also http://rsqubf.info/discuss/archive/marriage_by_faith_3.html.)

Author: Mary
Subject: Re: Arranged Marriage - my opinion
In reply to: Chris 's message, "Re: Arranged Marriage - my opinion" on
13:46:44 09/18/03 Thu

Chris,

Thank you so much for writing this incredible and truthful email about marriage by faith. None of this is twisted in away, it gets to the heart of the matter of UBF marriages. I too was married by faith, and consider myself one of the lucky ones too. But I believe it was not only luck, but God intervention. During my single years in UBF it was hard. I was always being told I liked someone, just because I was friendly or smiled at a person of the opposite sex. Unforutnatly some of the boys of UBF also thought I wanted to marry them just because I smiled at them. I did not know that being friendly or a smile was a practical request for being arranged. In college, boys did not like me just because I smiled, but in UBF they thought I wanted to marry them. Anyway, they would easily get "cooked" by a smile because later I learned a girl in UBF is suppose to be cold and not nice to the boys. But I could be friendly to all potential sheep regardless of sex. I learned, repented of my cursed womans desire that the boys were smelling (as my shepherd would say) and became cold as possible. But not to long in my involvement in UBF I was being asked to marry someone whom I cooked in my smiling days. I said "No", I was not in UBF to marry. I wanted to grow up first, learn of Jesus, finish school and later perhaps marrage could be considered. But I was told that I should be more like another american shepherdess who married by faith. I was too knew to understand that really, but I felt the pressure and suffered much for almost a year because I couldn't find the way to convince them I was not at peace with marriage. Once I was told "It was now my duty to marry the guy, because I "cooked" him." I was shocked, by the shepherds of UBF who would use any excuse to try and make me marry. I almost ran away because of this. But in my suffering I turned to God, found comfort in David's psalms of anguish and told God that if I married by faith and my marriage failed, then I would hold him personally responsible. Not the Christian thing to do to a HOLY God, but I would not take the chance to marry by UBF standards without the presence of the HOLY GOD intervening. I was arranged a few times, one arrangement that fell thru, I think the guy probably didn't like me (that's okay with me, it was nice when they gave him a choice like that, but I was told that is rare). Another arrangement where I agreed, but was very reluctant and wanted to kill myself for obeying but I wanted to obey my shepherd (this is when I pleaded with God, that I would obey his command to marry by faith, though his shepherds) as long as he really was there arranging it. And finally my engagement with my spouse almost canceled because the shepherds wanted to manipulate us to obey their very command as long as they could. I was constantly told that if I liked the guy I was spoiling the whole marriage by faith and was marrying by like not by faith. I was also counseled to prepare to marry someone not favorable or possibly not the best humanly, but had potential to be great in the future if I took care of him correctly. I was counseled to be ready, whenever, wherever, however, with whomever. I went from saying NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. To maybe it's me, I shouldn't say no, to OK I'll marry by faith as long as God is really the underling marriage arranger, to Yes. Ironically, each marriage arrangement brought me closer to the Yes. YOu would think that it would bring me closer to believing UBF was a cult. But their counsel and the fact that I had no one else to talk to about it was the turning point. Also I found I had to defend UBF ways to family and friends. To my family, who had to cancel a wedding, they really thought I was crazy. To friends, after the wedding cancelation I stopped telling them about my engagements until my real wedding came. One friend who did not realize the first wedding was canceled, thought I just postponed and but later wondered why the name of the groom was different. Many times I covered up the problems of UBF, out of my own pride to believe UBF was in the right. BUT how harmful that was too me and others.

Jim S. (former Chicago UBF)

(in response to a UBF supporter)

Dr. Armstrong,

While I agree with you that ex-ubf members should move on with their anger toward UBF so they can be used by God in a new ministry, I also believe that the unrighteousness and unrepentant (evil) characteristics of UBF should be exposed. UBF does not function as a Bible believing church with financial accountability, sound doctrine or church discipline. As ex-ubf participants I believe it is our responsibility and calling as Christians to expose evil and defend the gospel. (Gal.1:8,9;Jude 3,4). I have personal experiences of the abuses of UBF since I was a participant of this group from 1983 to 2001. I was associated with Dr. Ben Toh and his fellowship since 1984. I was constantly manipulated to attend meetings, even lied to and about so I would go to these meetings. My last straw was when Dr. Toh, a church elder in UBF, was floating the false rumor to many people that I was in the immoral company of prostitutes. I could not take it anymore so I left an organization that I had been associated with half of my life at that time.

As a reformed theologian, you should know that the Christian education is very poor in UBF and a formal Christian education was discouraged while I was there. If you asked someone to explain the doctrine of election/predestination, you would be scoffed at as an old Christian. You could even end up in someone's (Dr. Toh's) public testimony as someone who should be mocked and derided. I would venture to bet that if you asked someone in UBF today, to explain the five points of Calvinism, you would face a dead stare and/or be ignored. While I may not be an expert on Reformed theology, I do believe these principles should be central to one's Christian faith and basic beliefs of God as Dr. Sproul would say.

Another central problem to UBF is the financial unaccountability. In 1997, when I was requested to make up some offerings, I first requested copies of my offering statements from 1996 and 1997 YTD. The contribution statements were understated by at least 50%. From that point on, I never received another annual contribution statement. I have also seen financial statements from UBF during those years and they were very shoddy compared to the regular financial statements I have seen from the churches I have attended since I left UBF. UBF never let regular members scrutinize or even see their financial records while I was there!

Another obvious spiritual sin in UBF is that there is no church discipline. There have been several incidents of adultery in the church hierarchy of UBF and yet there has been no discipline. No one has been removed from their positions or told to leave UBF because of their immoral conduct. At every church I have attended people who were exposed for these sins were told to leave their position and the church. So I cannot say that UBF is a Bible believing church because they do not practice sound Biblical doctrine. I would not encourage anyone to participate in UBF, even if you do think they exhibit missionary and evangelical fervor. There are several other theological errors I could share with you that the others have covered but I think that you have not examined the true spiritual state of UBF sufficiently. If you have, then you should have answers for the topics I have covered briefly.

Posted by: Jim S. | March 11, 2007

Rosa (former UBF from Latin America)

(in response to a UBF supporter)

"UBF not only heard me but put the sermon on their Web site immediately".

...where??? ...is necessary to talk with the common members, not only with the leaders. What would Jesus do?

...is good to talk about change the mistakes in USA... but, what about with the broken hearts in other countries? ...Mexico, for example. People married "by faith" who not only is far of UBF now, but far from God. sorry, my english is so bad. (My heart is healing in Jesus)

Posted by: Rosa | April 09, 2007

Andrey P. (former Russian UBF)

(in response to a UBF supporter)

Dr. Armstrong,

Some ex-members already asked you several good questions. I will ask you no more questions. I will tell you my story.

I spent in UBF 12 years. Last 8 years I was the right-hand-man of the Director of Moscow UBF, Russia. I was considered as native leader, read many messages in Moscow, at Bible conferences in various CIS UBF centers, such as Minsk, Kiev, Astana and so on. I read several messages on international UBF conferences in US. I did a lot of other things in UBF. You may see my picture on the 2006 UBF wall calendar somewhere in the top left corner.

I am saying all this to show that I was not sitting in the last row all this time. I know the life of UBF from within.

I left UBF in the summer of 2006. I had only one reason – my conscience did not allow me to stay in the organization with the history, teachings and methods of UBF.

I was naïve for many years. I also thought that in UBF there is only one goal – to preach the Gospel. I could endure and overlooked many strange things for years (for example, Samuel Lee called my shepherd and *allowed*?! me to continue my Ph.D. studies). When I had too many questions I had to look into the Bible more carefully, compare critical stories with official history and read all UBF messages and reports I could find. It took about a year to realize that UBF has some systematic problems. (One more example: The letter written by 7 Korean leaders in 1976, one year after I was born, describes almost the same abuses I endured in Moscow UBF more than 20 years later. But UBF calls the authors of the letter rebels to the very present day.) I know that there are individuals mistakes. But I saw the very same problems in different UBF chapters from Minsk to Mongolia.

At first I hoped to change anything in Moscow UBF. I saw that UBF missionaries are hurt by their shepherds in Korea, but they continue to hurt their Russian sheep in the same way they were hurt.

Very soon I've found that nobody wants to change anything that really matters. I was talking with several UBF leaders at that time. Here what they said me about UBF problems:

"In Chicago UBF everything was more than good".

"You are very important person. Keep silent [about UBF problems] to make good spiritual influence".

But I could not be silent anymore. I saw the big difference between how Jesus or Apostle Paul treated people and how people are treated in UBF. My conscience did not allow me to be the part of the organization that values itself more than the Gospel, rewrites its own history, never repents while not stopping call himself "Kingdom of priest and a holy nation". I've spent my last six months in UBF to protect two sisters (my wife's "sheep") from UBF attempts to mold them into the system.

I forgave UBF people for any harm. I remember good things they did for me. I especially thankful to God that he used UBF as the platform to teach me what manipulation and mind control is and how to confront against it. But can a normal church be such a platform? But I see that they continue to deceive, harm and destroy themselves. Not much hypocrisy is needed to corrupt the soul. Most importantly, I see they continue to harm young students thinking that they are "raising Jesus disciples". Should I be silent?

I did not know what mistakes UBF leaders had admitted before you. But I do see what "spiritual directions" they give to ordinary members these days:

"So we must have faith in God and challenge as Dr. Lee did". Does it include forcing abortions or breaking the family in the name of training or "special love"?

"Double the number through disciple training ministry by 2010". Is it official acknowledgment that numbers in UBF are more important than anything else?

Direction like these does not seem even to approach any of UBF system problems.

Now, after 12 years in UBF and a half a year in a normal church, I came to the conclusion that if UBF had no spiritual abuses and misappropriations of money, it would be better to leave it only for what they teach about God and relationship with him. But add abuses, add sexual scandals with UBF leaders that is covered with a silence or UBF (i.e. members) money, add Moon-like "business mission" what one will get?

I doubt that the sum can be called "the hope of America".

I am very sorry for people who stays in UBF. They do not know what they are doing.

Posted by: AndreyP | February 03, 2007

J

(This was a comment posted in response to the Johns Hopkins Newsletter article.)

posted 7/26/02 @ 8:20 AM EST

Thanks for your article. I was in the UBF from the fall 2001 semester until yesterday. I'm so disappointed to know all these things. The UBF was something that I believed in. I'll survive, definitely; I'm just sorry that I had to get pulled into this and become a little attached and then discover these things. I didn't assimilate totally because I've always had a freespirited individualist streak. Recently I started to feel alienated partly because of that and partly because several missionaries were trying to control my life and I couldn't reason with them. I'm thankful to God for everyone who led me to this knowledge. I'm really sad to know this, but I'm glad that I found out before getting extremely entangled. Well, I go to another church as well. It's probably time to get more involved there.

J

Tim M. (former Los Angeles UBF)

(This was a comment posted in response to the Johns Hopkins Newsletter article.)

posted 5/07/02 @ 5:48 PM EST

I'm thankful to the JHU newsletter for this article. I was involved with UBF in Los Angeles, and reading this article and speaking with Mr. Timlin opened my eyes about the organization. I'm pulling out, and getting my life back. There are better places to worship God than groups like UBF. Thank you, Lindsay Saxe, for your article.

Tim, Student
Los Angeles
tmcfadde@usc.edu

PSUIrishDave (former Penn State UBF)

This is a story for those with a bleeding heart for romance and who love a good cry.

As I go through Holy Week in my church, I am overtaken with sadness, not only for images of Christ's passion-suffering, but for another life that I will never have.

I am reminded of late-August 1997 and 2000, when I visited Russia for church conferences, when I was in a different church, University Bible Fellowship (UBF). While there with the group, we got to visit some of the most extraordinary places ever to see. There was the Smolny Cathedral...

and St. Isaac's Cathedral...

both in St. Petersburg, Russia.

There's the spectacular St. Basil's Cathedral in Red Square in Moscow, the nation's Capital...

But then there was the most beloved sight my eyes ever beheld. Her name is Elena. This is a roughly-scanned picture of her, compliments of one of the "co-workers", such as they are, in her chapter of the UBF, located in Novosibirsk, deep in the heart of Siberia... [picture omitted]

I'm positively heartbroken to recall the tale of how I met her and fell in love with her. I believe in my heart that she felt the same way, at least at one point in time. The circumstances of our meetings shout it out loudly. There we would be, standing, facing each other, not knowing what we could say to each other, because we spoke different languages. You see, in this wretched UBF church, they practice a modified form of *arranged marriages*.

I am not kidding you. They expressly discourage dating of ANY kind in the church. I know--I'd gotten in trouble for this kind of thing in the past. If you are a "growing shepherd" in the church, they will bring up the idea of possible marriage with the higher-ups in the church, who are in Chicago, Illinois.

If they like the idea and think you're ready, they will allow the local "leaders" to talk to you about it. Then they would SUGGEST someone to you. ONLY THEN are you allowed to ask the other person out on a date. [Since dating is forbidden, some sort of modified courtship. A great majority of UBF married couple don't even "date".] If the chemistry's there, then you will be married. [Or even if the chemistry's not there, you will encouraged to "overcome your emotions" and get married anyway.] If not, you can "put up a fuss" and your marriage will be postponed.

Well, back to Elena. As you can now gather, my thought was to NEVER bring up to my "leaders" about my secret love for Elena. As it is in the UBF code, AMERICAN MEN SIMPLY DO NOT MARRY RUSSIAN WOMEN. [Actually, they did on at least one occasion, because UBF leadership arranged it so.] If I were to reveal my secret love, my hopes would be dashed and I would never be allowed to travel with the journey team to Russia ever again. Yet, if I kept silent... what then? Nothing. I would die with my secret. It pains me even to type these words...

I was so heartbroken over the matter, and convinced in my inner being that there was no reasonable solution, that in 2001, I attempted suicide. I loved Elena more than anything in the world, but couldn't live in a world where this wretched apostate and heretical church would stand in the way of any such thing. Obviously, I didn't go through with it, but it DID force me to quit the church once and for all. What now? Would I now be able to finally state my plea? I thought of writing her a letter, telling her how I felt. This was difficult because, of all things, I was afraid that my move would've been interpreted as a brash advancement against the church and an attempt to pull away a sister from Christ. For you see, by leaving UBF, I was overtaken by the devil in THEIR eyes.

Instead, I simply wrote to her and her Siberian chapter, hoping that word hadn't spread out there that I left the church here in the US. All I wanted was something, written by her, her chapter or ANYTHING, telling me that things were as I remembered them. I received a three-line e-mail message, with a group photograph as an attachment. I clipped out Elena and threw away the rest.

Now in 2006, I have no idea what is going on, whether she is now "married by faith" or what have you. She probably is, and I will never know. In 2004 I made a bold attempt to find out the latest news, but the local "leaders" put a stop to my inquiry... those seething scoundrels, wretched evil-doers. Curse UBF and its sinister cult-like practices!

There is one kind of happy ending though.. For in visiting those cathedrals, I was introduced to the Russian Orthodox Church, which I later joined and have since been much more fulfilled in my faith.

Here I am, getting more depressed, fatter, lonlier. For I vowed in my heart that if I would not marry Elena, I would not marry. Call me foolish if you will, that's okay. I've thought out my battle, and I lost. End of story. I now only have a broken heart never to be mended.

sogum_sam (former Chicago UBF)

(Posted at http://community.livejournal.com/rsqubf)

Comment by sogum_sam on 2005-09-03
Subject: face saving by any means

My chapter director was not Korean, but he sure picked up the buisness of saving face. I think he perfected it! He would say whatever he needed to in order to clear himself of any advice or direction he had given that didn't work out. He did this even when it didn't matter or when it was blatantly obvious. I believe this has had a negative impact on the ministry- it did on me. He was too concerned with it, as if the ministry would fall apart if he lost face and actually had to apologies or sit down and work things out with us apart from some planned Bible study or message. He would put the problem back on us. It was if the ministry was held together half by Jesus and half by his untainted image. He was trying to remain as pristine as possible despite all that happened right under his nose.



(In response to http://www.livejournal.com/users/rsqubf/31105.html)

Comment by sogum_sam on 2005-10-14

...

... this article mentions self- reflection and personal examination an examination of the groups theology compared to their practices. Yes, doing all these things has helped me to move on with some understanding of why things went down the way they did. I have been able to honestly asses myself and what made me so vulnerable and impressionable. God is Sovereign.

One example of how UBf's practices overrode it's stated theology is in it's teaching of the Holy Spirit. They teach you to depend on the Holy Spirit to fish and feed sheep,that it is actually the work of the Holy Spirit leading you and convicting them- not your efforts. However, there is so much emphasis and expectation placed on feeding sheep and raising disciples that you easily let go of this this truth and resort to your own strength and efforts to bring sheep and study with them faithfully. This is when we can become too pushy and even coercive or manipulative to one degree or another. Then we repackage all of our human efforts and call it "by any means" faith which is just about the same as "the end justifies the means". "It is OK to be pushy and manipulative if we are doing it in obedience to the word of God." This is how people get hurt and end up bitter about their experiences in UBF (ie. the guestbook post by Michelle Williams)

Really depending on the Holy Spirit to be a witness and to help others does not lead us to be so proud or to be so possessive of God's sheep. We are still concerned and compelled to help them, but without the controlling.

As far as talking and voicing our experiences, I thank God for this web site, which has allowed me to read the experiences of others which bore witness to my own. When there was no one to talk to about my issues with UBF leadership, rsqubf and the other sites became a kind of support group for me. I thank God for the boldness of those who have come forward without fear of the ridicule that UBF responds with. I have not done that yet.

sisterinjesus

(Posted at http://community.livejournal.com/rsqubf)

"I just wonder how many people in UBF really understand the Gospel?"

That is a really good question. I wonder the same thing; in fact I was just thinking about that this weekend after talking to my pastor about my husband and I in ubf. I was saved before UBF - though my experience in UBF adversely affected my faith. In fact, knowing what I know now about ubf, explains why the ubf koreans did not understand when I told them what I experienced as a born-again Christian. They taught the gospel, but practiced something different. So many conflicting messages. My husband learned the bible only through UBF and though I wanted to leave, he was determined never to leave ubf. This went on for years until we saw the info. on the web and learned the truth about ubf. He is only now learning the true gospel and realizing it is not by works. Some great books: "The Cross-Centered Life" by C.J. Mahaney; "Transforming Grace" by Jerry Bridges and "The Discipline of Grace" by Jerry Bridges.

...

"It's just selective overly self-centered history. Everything UBF = God's Work. Everything not UBF = Satan's work."

This is not just referring to a country, but individuals as well. A good example of this is my own life testimony. When I first came to ubf and wrote my life testimony (which, of course, goes through many edits), just before giving mine at a spring conference, it was cut down some more. What was cut out was when and how I came to receive Christ, a year before actually studying at ubf. I didn't even have time to think as it was handed back to me just before I read it. Afterwards I just cried that the one single most important event, how and when I received Christ and was saved, the POINT of my testimony, had been removed from my testimony. (They obviously just wanted me to go directly from my old life to UBF, so UBF gets the glory, not Jesus) I complained enough that two years later, I was given another opportunity to give my testimony. But, it was an appeasement.

parkhjoy

(Posted at http://www.xanga.com/parkhjoy/45292398/item.html )

Sunday, November 23, 2003

church is a place where people gather together to help each other to worship and serve God. But church can be also a place full of gossip and disappointments and scars. Going to church is a right attitude to have in God. However, when one is hurt so badly because of the people in the church, the church becomes the reason why one doesn't want to follow God anymore, because he/she sees the church and the people, "Christians," as harmful and unwelcoming.

I have been to many different churches in the past. I am a protetant, but I don't mind going to catholic services. I am currently going to a church called UBF (University Bible Fellowship). many koreans whom I have met recently seem to think that UBF isn't a real church, but just a Christian organization where people are trained to become missionaries. I guess I never thought about that aspect of UBF, but it is true that UBF people are trained to become good bible teachers/shepherds, and also to become missionaries who work for God in foreign countries. UBF is also a church to me, because I go there every Sunday to worship God.

I feel that there is a strong traiditionism in UBF. Not in every UBF, but in some UBFs many traditions are emphasized like writing and sharing testimonies on Fridays, having one-to-one Bible studies, going fishing (which means you go out to campus to ask students to study the Bible or to ask them to come to one of the church meetings/worship services), and if one is musician, which I consider myslef to be one, practicing/playing in an orchestra to prepare music for the Sunday worship services and some special events. I think that all these are very good things to do. When they are done in the right spirit before God, they can allow one to grow more spiritually. But when people become so focused on the actual traidtion and not on God problems arise. When people are concerned with the number of their sheep (refer to bible students), the number of the people they invite to the worship services, and etc., they forget the true meaning of worshipping God and obeying His words.

I truly admire UBF missionaries/shepherds because many of them work ardously to participate in God's salvation work. I am glad that I am involved in UBF and to even have some people whom I can study the Bible with. But I see that some times people in UBF are so close-minded, and they do not learn from other Christians. Some people are so used to UBF traditions that they forget why one wouldn't want to write testimonies each week. Some people have never gone to other Christian meetings, like the Navigator and Campus Crusade for Christ, and they only know what it is like to be in UBF.

I have never met Dr. Samuel Lee personally. But I do know that he was used by God to establish UBF, and he did a great work in God because UBF has become one of God's instruments to preach the Gospel. It was through UBF missionaries that I have come to know Christ personally, so I am grateful for UBF. However, when I see people who think of Dr. Samuel Lee as God's servant whom they should ALWAYS obey (just because he is God's servant), I wonder whether they are putting God first or a human being first. It's not that I am against obeying church leaders. Of course, I should obey God's servants, because that's the right spirit before God. However, when the servant has done something wrong, when the servant has brought down people's spiritual lives because of his/her own actions/thoughts/words (which do not come from God, but from the human nature), people should be able to discern whether the servant is really doing what God inteded him/her to do. There must have been a reason why so many people left UBF. And I personally don't think that those people left UBF just to rebel against God's servants. But some people think that the people who left UBF were being rebellious to God's servant, Dr. Samuel Lee, and that they weren't following God. (I strongly disagree with this kind of opinions.) If people think that objecting to Dr. Lee's certain behaviours, which did not come from God's own but from human calculations and expectations, is wrong thing to do, that's okay with me. But if they are so blinded to the extent that they can't see ANYTHING wrong in a human being, I think that that's a problem.

It seems like I am being so against UBF, but I am not trying to do that. Then why do I say all these bad things about UBF? well, I didn't say bad things about UBF, but I said some things about the people who seem to be close-minded. UBF is a good place to be, but some people who claim that they want to live by faith and yet have human calculations, seem to cause many others ( who need spiritual help) to turn away from God and from His people.

A friend of mine has told me that UBF is a cult. He/she has been in UBF for a long time, but apparently his/her family were hurt a lot because of UBF. I don't know the details, but it probably has to do with a UBF's director, because that's usually where the problem comes from. When a church leader forgets to fix his/her eyes on Jesus, he/she begins to act like a dictator, thus scarring many people's heart. My friend was mad at him/her when I was telling him/her that maybe he/she shouldn't generalize so much and that he/she should let go of the hatred which he/she has toward UBF. But I have to admit that I had no right telling him/her things like that. I have never been in a situation where I was so hurt to the extent that I wanted to leave UBF. My family isn't in UBF, so I haven't experienced my whole family being the victim of the "dictatorship." But I see that some people in UBF lack shepherd heart for people around them. Instead of trying to understand, some UBF people tend to make their "sheep" feel guilty by asking them "why can't you come?" Asking part is okay, but if they do not desire to UNDERSTAND the reason for not coming to worship services or to Friday meetings or to Bible studies, how can the "sheep" actually tell them the reason without feeling guilty?? I actually think that they don't even have to ask "why" because they do not really need to know the reason. Don't they believe that God knows why their "sheep" is not coming to the services/bible studies? If they have that faith, they might as well just pray for the "sheep" so that God may move the "sheep"'s hearts to come to the worship services/Bible studies. Trying to know everything about one's life is sometimes too burndening. I feel like some people in UBF try to dictate one's life instead of trying to let God control. Having expectations from the "sheep" is okay, but I wish that they didn't push their own thoughts so much on their "sheep." They might think that certain things are the best for their "sheep," but sometimes what they think of the best isn't always the best for the "sheep."

ok.. I guess I had lot to say today..God knows my heart, and I pray that I may always be willing to change myself/my attitude when God wants me to.. so that I may be more understanding and discerning rather than being more critical and close-minded. God can work in so many different ways, and if my heart/mind is closed, I cannot see the work of God in other people's lives. Lord, give me a humble heart, and Lord, give me the strength bear all the things you have entrusted to me. thank you!:)
Posted 11/23/2003 9:16 AM

An ex-member (mostly likely former Chicago UBF)

(Originally posted on the reformubf.org discussion forum.)

Posted by An ex-member (206.135.217.163) on February 26, 2001 at 16:59:26:

UBF was a place were I came to know Christ through the wonderful one to one Bible study, with a buddy I went to high school with. I really loved the study of Genesis and the Study of John's Gospel. I made a decision to go to College and serve as a bible teacher to the students. God blessed my life in college and after the summer retreat and making a decision to go to school, a full tuition was in the mail. I was so focused on GOD & JESUS not on man that he protected me and blessed my ministry. I was outspoken during the meetings and believe that created some jealousy even with leaders, but I was walking with Christ and happy. My first 7 years in UBF were blessed years, years of growth and fellowship. I stayed in this ministry for 13 years total; the last 6 were hard and dry due to the fact that I did not follow the beat of the leader's drum after graduation. It was the only time I had to deal with the leader and the unthoughtful words and actions that came out of his mouth. But like I said before...God Protected me from the garbage and helped me to stay focused on Him. I felt that I was stuck in this place until I started attending another church. I realize how small a view of Christianity I had in UBF. God is SO, SO much bigger and better. Unfortunately, any organization that puts others down, and says they're the only one and the only way, and if you leave you're doomed...this is a danger sign and a sign of a cult. UBF began at the Clark Street Center as a nice humble place. There were so many good people with giving hearts in this ministry that wanted to serve God. I have heard many heartbreaking stories of lives crushed by the words and actions of Mr. Lee and his followers. God used me to encourage them to move on. There is Life after UBF. And God will use what we learned there. I dare not call Mr. Lee a Reverend, Pastor or Shepherd. The proper name for such a power hungry man with wrong motives in using and abusing authority is a A SPIRITUAL DICTATOR. That's exactly what Mr. Lee has turned out to be. He can live in denial all he wants, but we know better. Through his desire & hunger for power he has divided good honest believers, especially from his own country, and many have suffered under his authority even to death. THIS MAN WILL BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE BEFORE GOD ALMIGHTY. Where is his fear of God to continue like this? As for the woman who partnered with him, Sarah Barry, she was a very sweet lady once upon a time, when I knew her. She has allowed the abuse and unBiblical ways of treating those under the leadership in UBF (Chicago) although she was raised in the South with a strong biblical background and worked with the navigators. She too will be held accountable to GOD for not opening her mouth and putting Mr. Lee in his place, though she has every right being an equal partner. Read the Scriptures, open your Bible, It says that those in leadership positions will be judged with strictness because they are to oversee God's flock, not lord it over them. A Reformed UBF must remove MAN rrom the throne and put JESUS back up on the throne. In conclusion, The Scriptures have been taught in UBF, granted, but not followed. UBF leaders have interpreted the Scriptures their way, and want people to live their way, not GOD's way. Jesus says he came to set the captives FREE. UBF has put many emotional and physical burdens on people and called it TRAINING. God has ways of training and maturing us through our jobs and relationships and service through natural experiences in life. Mr. Lee and his devoted followers in UBF try to play GOD and train people. The church of JESUS should be a place of refreshment, encouragement, joy, fellowship and growth to support believers living for Christ, not a place of lording it over the flock and placing heavy loads on the flock. Jesus said WOE to the Pharisees who placed heavy burdens on the flock. To those of you who feel stuck, you're not. There is life outside of this UBF.

God does not want you living in BONDAGE. He comes to set you FREE. There are many good churches in our country. I have been attending one for 7 years now and have served there, I have good quality friendships, and the Lord has taught me so much. Be bold. Move On. Do not be afraid. Ask God for strength. You're not stuck. You're not bound. I have NO bitterness about UBF. I thank God for what I have learned there. I was grounded in his word. When I council people who have come out of there, I encourage them to move on and take the positive and let God heal them of the bitterness. Of course, not all stories are the same; some are more painful then others. But I write this to make a statement, that God will judge those who MISUSE his authority. If I were Mr. Lee, I would be trembling before God. But does he even fear God? Dictatorship knows no GOD but SELF.

UBF Hamster

(Originally posted on the old RSQUBF discussion forum.)

I remember when I was first love-bombed in UBF. People always wanted to feed me, encourage me, tell me how handsome I looked, and how SPIRITUAL I was. The love bombing stage is the best time to be in UBF because there is the least responsibility and it is the most fun time. After the love-bombing stage, there is the stage of assimilation. This is where you are homogenized by common life or continual fellowship with other UBFers. You learn to write testimony by script, attend all the meetings, how to dress right, talk right, (learn to call people "missionary," "shepherd," and "shepherdess." This stage is still tolerable because God's word is still fresh and new and of course you do still receive some love bombing. The last stage, is the stage of "burnout." After 7 to 10 years, after you are married, and have a wife, a family, and a job to be concerned with, you realize that you are nothing more than an automaton, a cog in the UBF machinery that must keep turning with its never ending cycle of meetings, conferences, and drills. It is the period where you feel like you are a hamster on one of those spinning wheels that just keeps running around, trapped with no where else to go but can only just sit there spinning around. By this time your own shepherds and shepherdess are either more burnt out or have long since gone, so there is no one left to give you an occassional love bomb. I guess when you realize that the only thing you can do is to keep running on your wheel or leave, then you make the decision at this point to do it. I found an online journal of a young UBF member. You can read it yourself and gradually trace the stages of his "growth." Wish I could highlight the love bombing contained in all the passages. Here it is: http://www.livingtorah.org/~pchan/journal.phtml

UBF Hamster

USA - Tuesday, February 19, 2002 at 06:04:17 (EST)

sergey_w_love (former Ohio UBF?)

(Based on blog posts in 2004, sergey_w_love may have finally found the motivation needed to leave an Ohio chapter of UBF to which he had apparently been psychologically bound and through which he had been psychologically and spirtually abused. The following is a comment by sergey_w_love at another UBF member's blog.)

... hey, thank you for your logg, ... I am agree with you, ... frankly speaking, I myself had bad experiences in UBF, and I left UBF, ... but I came back, ... knowing that no matter how bad some people may be, ... and no matter how abbusive UBF may be, there is a lot of good people, people who maybe don't know much about bad things that happend to some members, who live in faith, happy, and who willing to share their joy with others ...

it is very easier for me to be in UBF after everything I went through, ... even to the point of commiting suicide because of the guilt that was planted in me by the leaders, ... (to prevent confusion, I am always was open to commit suicide, not that UBF lead people to do it) But it is not that easy for people who know nothing about spiritual abuse.

And the thing is that even when a lot of people knows all that, they cannot do anything, ... in fact there is so many of them who tryes, but there is no results, ... just everyone who try to change any bad thing, he/she occused to go against God [accused of opposing God for suggesting changes in UBF], and in one word just kicked out from UBF.

I was told so many times to leave UBF, because of my open mind, and free thinking, ... but I do know one thing, ... that there is a purpose for me to be here, considering all things that led me here. And how someone can say go away, when he/she did not brought me in, ... they have no spiritual right to do so, ... and second UBF is campus organization, it is not a sacred place, it is open for anyone, ... and if they will restrict some ppeople to come, then they may have some problems, being a student organization, after all the information about UBF that gathered around the world, ... after all viktimes [victims], (and I am sure everyone of them will testify about their experiences) ... the problems may come to the end, ... new court opinions will come out, and all who fight against spiritual abuse, will make a big step forward, ... and even after all imunity that churches in america have, ... there is many churches that were brought to court of law, ...

---
Article XIII.

Section 1. Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.

Section 2. Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.
----

After all bad things that I said about UBF ( and I am not ashamed to say it) ... I am in UBF, I know my purpose here, and I am very happy to be here, because I chooss to, considering everything I know ...

Patrick C. (former California UBF)

(from http://merbc.invigorated.org/archives/2006/10/30/gospel-driven-sanctification/)

Check out Jerry Bridges’s article, “Gospel-Driven Sanctification.”

I’d particularly recommend reading this article if you’re suffering from the fallout of years spent slaving away in a false, works-righteousness centered “ministry” like the University Bible Fellowship.

Speaking of UBF. At first glance, whether your acquaintance began with their website or in person (e.g. perhaps you were “fished” on campus? Or invited to a Bible conference?), UBF appears to be an evangelical organization. But looks can be deceiving. At best (if, for instance, your shepherd or shepherdess is a true Christian seeking to help you) you’re in for some guilt-trips over your poor performance. “How many times have you fished today?” “How many Bible studies are you doing?” “Don’t you want to live in common life?” And so on. Or worse, you’ll possibly end up in a long-term, co-dependent affair with a jealous lover who’ll never leave you alone. Things could even get worse than this, but I’ll save that for another time. Flee from UBF and embrace Christ!

Andrei S. (former Kiev UBF)

(Translated from Russian. Posted at http://community.livejournal.com/rsqubf/131017.html?thread=653001#t653001.)

TESTIMONY by Andrey S. (ex Kiev UBF)

Yesterday several brothers and I were virtually expelled from the church [Kiev UBF]. I think it is difficult to misinterpret the pronouncements of our pastor [Peter Kim, the Kiev UBF director, he is not really a pastor], since he repeated them about 20 times: “Such people should leave”, “It is better for you not to come anymore”, “Change yourself, we will continue in the same way as we have always done”. That whole story did not begin yesterday, such stories repeated in UBF time and again for more than 40 years.

I have not been an accidental person in UBF and I have not been a “rebel”. I attended UBF for almost 11 years and did everything I was demanded to do. Often I felt that something was wrong but could not understand the exact problem. I was a witness of many weird acts: punishments for coming too late [to UBF meetings], running around the campus shouting slogans, revilements and humiliations for hours of people who brought too small an offering or just had a sad face, permanent atmosphere of fear of the pastor [the Kiev UBF Director], compulsion of sick persons to leave their beds to attend insignificant and unwholesome UBF meetings that often were dedicated to humiliations of somebody else, and many other things. I endured those things, believing they were accidental mistakes, for who does not make mistakes?

But one day I discovered that they are not accidental mistakes of a specific man, but fruits of a system. I found out horrible facts about forced abortions (in Chicago and Korea), destruction of families and violation of the personality of members. All these things are called “disciple training” in UBF. I am sad that the understanding of these words depreciated to such a level. When I found out all these things, my eyes were opened and I decided that it was impossible, sinful and irresponsibly before God to cowardly keep silent. I went to the pastor and talked to him that the church had to go through repentance for these detestable things. Two days before (as if they had a presentiment) I had been dismissed from Sunday messages, and the group, where I was the leader, was broken up (of course only in part, the Korean missionaries left my group, but my Bible students remained). The talk [with the director Peter Kim] was difficult, I had a feeling of pain and suffering, and I was named a “person with an evil spirit”. Nevertheless I did not leave, but continued to talk personally with the pastor, and later several other brothers also talked with him, and finally I publicly shared my testimony. It was a difficult time, but I decided to endure it and stay, in the hope that everything will change. This whole story lasted 8 months. I did not behave insolently or forwardly, I tried to talk decently and with dignity.

Since about a month I was not talking with anybody about the issue. But yesterday the pastor himself put an end to it. It started with one sister delivering a message on 1Tim 2:8-15 (the brothers were not allowed to deliver messages because they sort of fell into disgrace in the eyes of the pastor). Please read this passage carefully [as it contains the words “I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent.”]. In her message the sister said “I thank the brothers for leaving the sisters the spiritual privilege of delivering messages”. At the end of the meeting, the pastor reminded everybody of that phrase, adding that the brothers did not simply leave that privilege to the sisters, but that they lost that privilege, calling them “rubbish.” Then one of the brothers stood up, said “You are telling a lie!”, and went out. This brother was responsible for the construction of the new church building, which was a very big work and responsibility (of course without getting any compensation for that). He then was immediately dismissed from his position and a new person was appointed [when the building was almost finished]. After that the words “such people should better leave” were used, particularly referring to three persons: my friend, the brother who already went out, and me.

I do not regret anything and I thank the Lord. The Lord was leading me and helped me not to be a fearful person. The Lord taught me an omni-important lesson: There is no place for exaltation of one above the other in any Christian community, as Jesus taught in Mk 10 and Mt 23. The violation of even the smaller commands of Jesus leads to bad consequences. I had experienced that on my own back.

What next? I want to open a home ministry, something like www.simplechurch.com.ua. It is important to communicate with Christians. They will have a conference in two days. I want to better understand how to walk my life and minister in the future.

Andrei S. (ex Kiev UBF)

Charles (former New York (?) UBF)

(Reports and impressions from the 2001 UBF international conference, posted at voy.com/60734/. See also the full thread.)

Date Posted: 12:22:06 04/10/02 Wed
Author: PC
Subject: response to concerned
In reply to: Concerned 's message, "Hey pc......" on 12:22:06 04/10/02 Wed

Dear Concerned,
This message board seems pretty intense! The things mentioned by others like people claiming to be God etc. really had no effect on me. I had never heard such accusations before and quite frankly it seems that statement was probably taken out of context, unless that guy is a total nut case which I suppose is possible.
anyway, There were so many very serious problems at ISU.

But let me first mention those things which were not so serious.
First there was so much time wasted on things that were non-spiritual and not beneficial. What does Korean Dancing have to do with Jesus? Also it was interesting to note how so much time and money was put into producing an extremely impressive dance and music programs (although it seems Africa was neglected in this regard) It really seemed like a waste. What does Beethoven have to do with praising God? I don't really understand that. One could say that this is all for the purpose of praising God but then why not chose some sacred music by Bach, Vivaldi, Handel, Beethoven or one of the many other great composers who wrote music for God. I don't know, it just doesn't seem right to focus on entertainment and call it worship. I think that is a real deception.

Another thing, that was apparent right off the bat, and which was a bit more serious, was the so-called "Asian Despot" mentality which was plainly in operation. Samuel Lee was really acting like an "Asian Despot." I am not talking about what he was saying but what he was doing during the whole conference. He sat in the back most of the time like an overseer. On each side sat (what appeared to be) a lackey. He would constantly start speaking to these people seemingly making comments on what was being done or said or on the lighting or on the position of the speaker in relation to the podium. He was not paying attention to what was being said. In short he was not listening for the voice of God in what was being done or said but he was overseeing everything and giving his approval or disapproval. That is at least what it looked like to me. Also, getting up and asking a person to move over a few inches so he can be in the middle of the podium or whatever, is very distracting and takes away from the "message." All these kind of activities draw attention away from the speaker that everyone is supposed to be listening to.

I am quite familiar with the this type of mentality. It immediately turned me off toward Samuel Lee. It seemed he wanted everyone to know who was in charge.

These things I know, could be to some extent explained away. However, there were many other things that were much more serious that can't be explained or excused.

The so-called messages were all delivered in the same style by different people. This to me made it seem that the individuals who delivered the messages were not the ones who wrote them. I have no evidence of this besides my gut feeling but that is what it seemed like. I suppose in an organization like UBF where everyone is encouraged to speak in the same way and use the same strange terminology it is possible that this impression was not reality. (on this topic, another thing. Why do American people who have been raised in America and who speak English as their first language speak with a Korean accent. It sounds very strange! It seems that there is even an appropriate way to say the name "Jesus" with a higher tone on the first syllable and lower on the second. This is very strange!)

Another thing, because all the messages (except samuel lee's) were read. They sounded rehearsed and insincere. It seemed that the message was a childish performance with various silly hand gestures thrown in. (after which everyone would laugh, even if they were not at all funny) Ministers of the Gospel should be delivering messages with conviction, and those messages should be prepared by themselves.

Getting more serious...
Many things that were said in the messages were gross exaggerations or actually completely untruthful! This was perhaps the biggest problem for me. When people talked about the "wilderness training" of the Israelites and the "woman at the well" story, there was so much nonsense in the message. Of course the original story was reviewed and actually read aloud, but then there were many details added that were plainly NOT IN THE BIBLE! I understand that sometimes ministers will overemphasize a point in order to bring across an important message and I believe that this can some times be useful. However, during these messages the speaker would first start with the text and then he would add facts to the text and then he would create a teaching based on a combination of the actual text, his added facts and a very strange interpretation of the gospel message (maybe a UBF interpretation). As a result, these wonderful texts were twisted to present a message that was clearly not in the original passage.
If I had a copy of the message here I could give you specific examples. Unfortunately I do not.
So that is the first problem, obvious misinterpretation of the Bible. Needless to say that is extremely dangerous!

Second, the outright lies that were told from the pulpit were unbelievable. If you know anything at all about Christian history and if you were paying attention you could hear so many LIES! Most of this came from Samuel Lee. I could give you a list of lies but I will just give a few.
1.Misinterpretation of the term "House-church"
2.stating that many famous christian leaders were "self supporting missionaries" (i.e., billy graham, martin luther)
and there were several others.

These were outright lies and the most frustrating thing was that no one corrected him!

However the thing that got under my skin the most about his talk was the unbelievable statement (I can't remember it exactly now but it was something like) "The hope for America is World missions!" (or self supporting world mission or something.)
This is total nonsense! The hope of America should be Jesus Christ and nothing else.

well there are many other things that I could say but this covers the basics of what bothered me.
FALSE TEACHING is what it boils down to. There is no way around that. Either you admit it or you are lying!

Now if these problems had been addressed after ISU or if some one had made a public apology for the false teachings. I might have felt better, but instead everyone went on to say what a wonderful conference it was and how everyone was more filled with the grace of Jesus. I was very upset. UBF had betrayed God before my eyes. I have also betrayed God in the past, but should I expect to be forgiven if I don't try to right the wrongs?

there is your answer.
-PC

>pc,
>
>What was it about the ISU conference that made you
>question UBF? I was there and heard many messages,
>World Mission Testimonies, and dances, etc... .
>Nothing seemed odd, or out of the ordinary that would
>set off sirens.

---

Date Posted: 14:21:53 04/11/02 Thu
Author: -pc
Subject: some more remarks on ISU
In reply to: UBF Shepherd 's message, "Re: response to concerned" on 14:21:53 04/11/02 Thu

Chris thanks for the link to the message page.

http://chicago.ubf.org/ISU01/messages.html

It was interesting to see how some of the messages, although they had similar titles and themes, were completely different then the ones given at the conference. Quite deceptive.
However this quote I remember:

"Go, call your husband!" Humanly speaking, this was interference with her private life. However, Jesus did not mind violating her human rights to talk about her sin problem in order to heal her sin-sick soul. Her real problem appeared to be a husband problem or marriage problem as common people think. But it was a sin problem. Her cursed woman's desire controlled her and drove her until she became a helpless Samaritan woman. As a result, even if she had married five times, she would remain with a severe marriage problem. In proportion to her gravity of sin, her cursed desire might have tormented her without ceasing (Ge 3:16).

Wow, you just gave "sound" justification for violating people's human rights anyway you want, totally misinterpreted the Bible, insulted the institution of marriage and women in general, and all that without any real useful point in the entire paragraph! Amazing!

"She said, "Sir, I can see that you are a prophet" (19). Right after that, she asked him first about where to worship (20). Why did she suddenly talk about worship? She had gone too far to talk about worshiping God. Another reason might be that Jews and Samaritans had a different idea about the place of worship. Anyway she did not hesitate to talk about the worship problem. It was because she was still a human being created in the image of God. Her life was still shining like stars in the sky."

Does anyone have any idea what that means? There is no logical progression of thought. I don't know maybe it is a "cursed Korean-English problem" :).

and then there are just so many little problems that the overall message has the ring of foolishness

By the same token, we must know that corrupted men and wayward women are seeking (No one seeks God unless God draws them and we are all sinners just like this woman. He should really say wayward women (and men) are "longing for God" or "feel their need of God.") God earnestly in their hearts like the Samaritan woman (was she seeking God? There is no evidence of that in the Bible). We love Jesus who seeks the Samaritan woman (what in the world does this have to do with the rest of the paragraph? Again, there is just no logical thought progression. At best this is just bad writing.

another example of the lack of logical thought progression:

When Jesus said, "God is spirit," he meant that God is not flesh; but God is spirit. He is not confined to the limitations of the flesh.(good so far) He is the eternal and infinite God. Therefore, God can be our Everlasting Father. We will enjoy eternal life in the kingdom of God when our earthly tent is destroyed (over all the point is OK but the progression is confusing and vague. There is not a+b=c or some other structure of thought to help us understand why these things are being said.

Another thing about this particular message is that is quite degrading to women. It seems that women are only relegated to certain roles.
For example:
God is especially seeking lost Samaritan women in the hope of raising them as mothers of prayer.
This is a bit subtle (although quite obvious). Why not say women of prayer, or prayer warriors, or great missionaries. Why must it be "Mother." In this story we don't have any evidence that this woman had children so that can't be the reason. It seems that "mother of prayer" is just another UBF term. Another point on this. I think many groups should give more room to woman who choose not to be married. THere is nothing wrong with this indeed it is encouraged in the Bible.

Another thing is the attack on the institution of marriage.
Marriage Problem
Husband Problem
and Cursed Desire Problem
are terms that are used in this text to some how imply that it is wrong to desire to find joy in marriage. That is just so wrong. In addition, "cursed desire problem" must be referring to Genesis 3:16(?). Lets be honest if the desire for a mate is a "cursed desire problem" then men have it just as well as women and let me tell you from most of the men I know they have it much worse than women. To say that the desire for marriage (in God's will) is a curse... WOW, shame on you people!

Here is another winner from the conference and then I will stop (there just isn't anything going on in the office today)

Why did God give them wilderness training? It was to lay the foundation of world salvation work. After wilderness training, God led them to the promised land. According to God's plan, his people had to be a kingdom of priests and a holy nation. They had to be shepherds and shepherdesses to plant the knowledge of God in the hearts of pagan people in the promised land.(This is not biblical, not even close) But they could not maintain God's blessing. When they began to enjoy little comforts and little conveniences of civilized Canaan and they began to enjoy flowing milk and honey, they gradually melted into the easygoing life of the Canaanites(what do you call easy going little comforts? what like idolatry or immorality or what? How can you say to enjoy one's self is wrong using this example as proof? Is that why God punished his people?). As a result, they abandoned God and their holy mission.

Well these are just a few of the less problematic things that were said at the conference. It seems that the bad stuff will be hidden away because it would just be to embarrassing to put on a website.

Thanks again to Amy for taking the time to talk to me. May God bless you and your family!

Jacque

(Originally posted at voy.com/63135/.)

Date Posted: 16:53:59 01/09/02 Wed
Author: Jacque
Subject: UBF Alumni

Someone compared UBF to a revolving door for Americans. I agree with this from personal experience, and sometimes I catch myself wondering just how many people have passed through that door. Why did so many leave? Why did so many stick around for years only to go? Yet for many the time in UBF is something they want to forget. Very few return back to visit their alma matter. In 20 years I can only recall it happening twice. For most who leave it seems to bring a wince of pain in their eyes when you mention it as if the rememberance of a bad dream.

There is undoubtedly a large number of UBF alumni out there. They have similar stories and experiences of the joy of learning the Gospel for the first time, growing in a personal love relationship with Christ and serving him together with other believers and also the realization that something was deeply disturbing.

I couldn't guess how many thousands are out there. Compared to the rest of Christendom, it is certainly negligible, but they all have their own stories.

I like to think that most end up in good churches and become leaders, Bible teachers, and prayer warriors tempered and tried by their experiences in UBF.

I don't know. I know that I am really old and yet there was a whole American generation that disappeared before me. It kind of reminds me of working at McDonalds. The product is mediocre but consistent, the remuneration lousy, the turnover of help is incredibly high, and yet millions are served.

Sorry, I was becoming cynical again. Perhaps it is better people don't stick around. I think being in UBF is something everyone ought to do. It really gives you a perspective and an appreciation for the other ministries out there. Sorry.

Anyway, all you UBF alumni. Don't try to deny it. Write in and tell us your experiences. I want to hear about the experiences from the 70s.

I said enough. Bye.

ex-UBFSoul (former New York UBF)

(Originally posted at voy.com/60734/.)

Date Posted: 21:40:08 09/19/03 Fri
Author: ex-UBFSoul
Subject: UBF Mind Control
In reply to: Chris 's message, "Mind Control" on 11:49:23 09/19/03 Fri

Hi Chris,

When I was UBFSoul and in UBF I didn’t realize that I was being subjected to mind control techniques and I don’t think UBF members know that they are employing these techniques. At some point it struck me that the main objective of UBF is not to teach college students the Bible. UBF’s objective is to form more house churches. That’s what they pray for. They pray for 10,000 house churches. They say, “a kingdom of priests and a holy nation” but they mean a kingdom of house churches.

UBF is not an organization comprised of members; it’s an organization of house churches. Like all organizations, it wants to expand. They can’t ask college students, “Do you want to be a part of a house church?” Students would never accept. Therefore they have to hide their agenda and slowly alter the student’s perspective using subtle mind control techniques.

The UBF agenda starts with Bible study and ends with “marriage by faith.” In between they employ increasingly aggressive mind control techniques. Almost everyone in UBF has experienced this series of techniques:

Deception: (year 1) They will invite you to what appears to be a harmless Bible study. The deception is that the UBF Bible study invitation is really in an invitation to a UBF controlled life and an arranged marriage to another UBF member. They don’t fully disclose their “plans” for your life. UBF uses the Bible as a means of coercing naïve young college students into the Confucian-Christian UBF lifestyle.

Love Bombing: (year 1) They will flatter and feed you. Their lives revolve around recruiting more UBF members so they will do their best to make you feel welcomed and indebted. They will invite you to their homes, feed you, flatter you and treat you like a king. Your apprehensions and suspicions about the group disappear because these people seem like the kindest and most generous people you’ve ever met in your life. What you don’t realize is that they are so happy to see you because they are under a lot pressure to recruit more members and produce numbers.

Public Confession: (year 1-2) They will ask you to write and share testimonies with the group. The first half of the testimony is a summary of the passage and the second half is an “application.” The application is really a confession of how you failed as a Christian. Communist regimes also use the same technique. Those who hear the confession feel guilt because they are guilty of the same crimes.

Not only will you confess and feel guilt, but you will experience ten to twenty times more guilt as you hear many others confessing the same laziness in UBF activities, the same sin of not going “fishing” enough, the same sin of not writing enough testimony, and the same sin of desiring sleep, rest, or free time. You will even see people crying about it, which will really make you feel even more guilt. You will feel tired and sleep deprived during these meetings as you experience wave after wave of indoctrination that will seep into your subconscious.

Time Control: (year 1-2) They will ask you to join the orchestra, singing group, become a presider, become fellowship leader, or any number of activities. I notice that they ask you to join the orchestra or some singing group even when you can’t sing or play an instrument. You begin to realize that you are visiting the local UBF center almost every day. You don’t have any time to spare for non-UBF friends or family.

Relationship Control: (year 2-3) They will ask you to move in with another UBF member. This is known as “common life.” The point is to totally immerse you in the Confucian-Christian UBF lifestyle. The natural power of peer pressure then begins to take effect. It’s natural for people to want to conform to the behavior of the group. Once you live with a UBF member and all your time is devoted to UBF activities your personality will inevitably change whether you like it or not. They will convince you that dating is sinful and you will begin to feel lonely and desperate.

Marriage Control: (year 3-5) They will ask you to agree to marry. They don’t tell you who, they just wait for you to become sufficiently desperate after years of Relationship Control that you are willing to marry almost anyone. If you refuse their proposal, they will starve you for another year or two and then apply even more pressure. Eventually, you surrender and agree to marry unconditionally on their terms. You will think it was your decision and choice, but actually you were controlled and you had no choice. Ideally, they want you to marry a stranger so as to minimize the possibility of love.

Total Control: (the rest of your life) Once you are trapped in a loveless arranged marriage, you are completely trapped. Your involvement with the group is the only thing that justifies your marriage. The endless time consuming UBF activities allow you and your spouse to essentially lead separate lives and keep your minds off the fact that your marriage is loveless. You will repent of your sinful desire for love and companionship and rededicate yourself to UBF activities. All your friends, your entire social network, is in UBF. Once you have “married by faith” you have proven to them that they control your entire life. There is nothing they cannot ask you to do. The cycle is complete when you find that you are a fifty-year-old hanging around college campuses deceptively inviting some young naïve college students into the same trap you fell into.

Their mind control techniques failed to work on me because I continually refused to join orchestra or singing groups and I refused “common living.” Because of this thier attempts to coerce me into “marriage by faith” failed.

Don’t Fall For the Trap,
ex-UBFSoul

Jan (former Chicago UBF)

(Originally posted at voy.com/60734/.)

Date Posted: 15:09:21 09/19/03 Fri
Author: Jan
Subject: Re: Mind Control
In reply to: Chris 's message, "Mind Control" on 11:49:23 09/19/03 Fri

This did not happen to me but was a problem that I saw many times. Ironically, I thought I was the strong one for remaining and being obedient but it was the reverse. Have you noticed that no UBF member is a lawyer. That is how it was in Chicago, maybe different in other chapter, if so let me know. No lawyers in Chicago UBF because Samuel Lee liked to tell people what they should major in and advise them away from law school because you were going to become a liar. Law school was seeing as a training in lying. One girl I became friends with was intent on going to law school would share it in her testimony every week. Because she was new and a white girl (HNW) [HNW is a UBFism meaning a white female], she was not told right away that in UBF you go to medical school or nursing or engineering but not Law school. I felt sorry for her, thinking one day she will be counseled and told to give it up to Jesus. And she will have to give up her dream that she expressed so wonderfully when giving her testimony. Of course she ran away ["ran away" is how UBF members describe the act of leaving UBF without saying goodbye--a common occurrence]. I thought I was the strong one who remained and obeyed the servants of God. But I was the mind controlled one, not the strong one, ready to give up my hopes and dreams.

exNYubfer (former New York UBF)

(Originally posted at voy.com/60734/.)

Date Posted: 21:56:12 09/29/03 Mon
Author: exNYubfer
Subject: Re: Mind Control
In reply to: Chris 's message, "Mind Control" on 11:49:23 09/19/03 Fri

I agree wholeheartedly with ex-ubfsoul and all of you. I went through very similar tactics in UBF as well. Oh how I want to encourage those who are out...GOD IS LOVEEEE!!!! God wants you to be IN LOVE with Him. God is IN LOVE with you!!! There is FREEDOM in Christ Jesus. Praise the Lord for saving us from the chains of UBF.

I pray that the one UBFer who is reading this right now will realize that he/she is committing idolatry before the God of the Bible because the UBF god is NOT the Almighty God! The God of the Bible is full of love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness and self-control bc that IS the fruit of the Holy Spirit. The God of the Bible is holy and just and convicts us of our sin and leads us to repentance. He NEVER inflicts us with this gnawing guilt that never goes away. That is the work of the devil. The Devil is the accuser, the liar the one who wants you to always feel that you fall short of the glory of God. But we are REDEEMED through the blood of Christ! There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus!

PRAISE GOD! I love you Jesus. I praise Your HOLY Name. I give thanks to You for always answering our prayers and always being slow to anger and abounding in love. I praise you for giving us this inexpressible peace and FREEDOM from sin. Dear God I lift up to You right now all those who are still ensnared in the UBF cult. Lord Jesus TOUCH their hearts. Let them realize that they are not worshipping YOU. They are worshipping an idol. Father I pray that you lead these people out so that they may know who You truly are. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

Maria

(Posted on the old RsqUBF bulletin board, 2/2001)

Author: maria

Subject: relief and closure

I just found this site this morning, and my first reaction was a sense of relief and some closure. It seems to me that, in addition to myself, there have been a number of people who have been hurt by UBF. I studied with a missionary for three years at UBF and sometime would like to share my story. But right now, what I would like to say, from reading some of the posted messages, is that this site could do a lot of good - if it is not turned into a place to argue. For those who are still actively involved in UBF, and are happy, please understand that those of us who are raising objections about UBF once were where you are. I remember the days I first started studying at UBF - I also remember the constant 'rebuking', the manipulations, the imposed feelings of guilt and inadequacy.

2/12/2001

Friend of Penn State UBF recruit

(Posted at http://www.xanga.com/DulosTheo.)

Date: Sun, 6 Feb 2005 15:55:46 -0800 (PST)
From:
Subject: UBF Concerns
To:

Dear :

I am a Penn State U. student and I am a part of an excellent Bible-based group.

My friend P., however was a member of our group, but all the long was a member of another group. Last Saturday, I found out that P.'s other group was the UBF. P. boldly declared one day that he doesn't want to be in our group, and didn't give a real reason. I always thought that it was strange how P. referred to his group as a mostly Korean group. ... When I was told by another friend that the UBF is borderline cultish, I did some research on it. My research brought me to your website. I read every testimony and it is eerily similar to what P. describes to me.

Here is the list of startling facts:

P. spends a lot of time with his one-on-one teacher, J. P. lives in my building and he told me that he spends 8 hours in J.'s office on Saturday's. He also goes out with J. at least twice a week. Everything is always him and J. He is getting out of touch with his other friends.

J. is married and I asked P., "doesn't J. need time with his wife instead of young college men?" P. told me, "J. loves his wife and all, but he is a busy man."

P. said that one-on-one Bible study is intense and he gets frustrated sometimes but J. helps him through it. P. said that J. is his accountability partner. P. says that J. is his "guidance counselor." He said that J. is a good "Shepard" and he is his "sheep".

We all are at Penn State University, and the UBF here is NOT an official group!

P. is very depressed and keeps saying that he's unattractive and not meant to be married. He said that sometimes God doesn't want us to marry.

P. just yesterday went to J.'s house and told me that he'd be back at nine so we can hang out and do homework. P. didn't get back until 2PM TODAY! He says that he stayed over J.'s and slept on his couch and then woke up for a one-on-one study.

I wanted to investigate this whole thing more and so I suggested that I sit in on one of their one-on-ones and P. quickly said, no. He said that "J. doesn't like any distractions." So I thought that I could infiltrate their group to investigate what I read on-line, and I proposed that I join the UBF. I thought that they would be happy to have me, but they don't want me. P said, "no offensive but J. doesn't want to talk to you. He is too busy."

...

P. refused to miss a week of one-on-one. When I suggested to him to miss a week to catch up on sleep, P. said, "there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus, but God does chastise His children."

P. thinks that it's God will for him to stay in the UBF and he and J. refuse to let me in the group, or to come between them.




Date: Fri, 18 Feb 2005 05:49:46 -0800 (PST)
From:
Subject: Partial Good News with UBF
To:

I told P. about two weeks ago what the UBF was up to. P. was angry and didn't believe it, but then later he told me that it seems as though he's being forced to be "presider" at UBF Church services. This is a job that P. is neither interested in, nor has the time for.

Frank M. (former Baltimore UBF)

(Posted at https://web.archive.org/web/20081119141235/http://www.ubfsurvivor.info/testimony.html.)

A Personal Testimony of Spiritual and Psychological Abuse in UBF

Introduction

First, I have to explain why UBF was attractive to me at the time I joined, which was in the late 1990s. I was in my first week of college. About half of my friends had moved away for college. I had also broken up with my girlfriend a couple weeks earlier. It was difficult for me to make friends, so losing these friends had a magnified impact. UBF appealed to me because it seemed to provide an instant set of friends. I was also searching spiritually during that time. After being an agnostic for a few years, I had come back to faith in God and was looking for spiritual guidance. Lastly, I was nursing an as yet undiagnosed, but long-standing problem with depression and anxiety. I longed for something to help the pain and for someone to acknowledge my suffering.

First encounter

Thus the stage was set for me to make the worst decision of my life. On the Wednesday of my first week of school at UMBC (the University of Maryland, Baltimore County) I was studying linear algebra alone on a bench in one of the academic buildings. I was biding my time until an evening ballroom dancing class. Looking away from my work I spied a middle-aged Korean man walking the upstairs corridor carrying a briefcase. A minute later, I saw the same man approaching me. "Can I sit next to you?" he asked. I assented and he explained that he came from an organization called the University Bible Fellowship, or UBF. During the ensuing conversation I mentioned that I had been reading Matthew's gospel on my own. He seemed to take great interest in everything I said and offered to study the Bible with me.

During the conversation he also handed me a simple pamphlet with a hand-drawn picture of a shepherd on the front. Now I know what you're thinking, readers. "Don't do it! Red flags should be going off in your head left and right." But they weren't. I was young and inexperienced and honestly the thought that I was being invited into a cult never crossed my mind. I accepted his invitation to meet with him the next week for a one-hour Bible study of the so-called "one-to-one" format. The man, who called himself Peter but handed me a business card with his first name reading "Sung-Il," also asked for my phone number. I believe I declined to give it, instead offering an email address.

First study session

The next week, I faithfully met this stranger at a designated site on campus. He produced two Bibles, both New International Versions. His was well-worn and had markings on it with colored pencil. We read part of the first chapter of the book of Genesis, taking turns reading the verses. Next came out the question paper. I read question number one, stammered out some sort of answer, and then listened to Peter give a forceful answer in his broken English. I no longer remember the content of the discussion, but suffice to say that that didn't matter. Here I had a person who was paying attention to me. Also, the man had a strange way about him. He spoke with authority as if he knew that what he was saying about God was certain. In a world of questions, he seemed to be providing definitive answers.

Continued study

So I agreed to meet Peter again. The next few times I met him we went over different passages of Genesis in sequential order. We got up to the ninth chapter and then skipped to the twelfth chapter. Between meetings, I would go over the passage and answer the questions on my own sheet. I also read treatises he gave me on the passages. I did not at the time know that these treatises were UBF messages penned by the revered founder of UBF, Samuel Lee. (Now something must be explained. Korean UBF people have two names - their real Korean names, and their English UBF names. Often former UBF members refer to UBF leader Samuel Lee by his real name Chang Woo Lee.) These messages are the same ones that are read verbatim at UBF pulpits on Sundays.

Sunday services and testimonies

After a few weeks, I was asked to attend a UBF Sunday Worship Service. Everyone at the service seemed to know about me already and they were mostly very friendly and welcoming. The service was held at what Peter called "the Bible Center," but which was really his living room. As I would learn over the next five years, every UBF service follows a preset format. In fact, only a couple months after starting to attend these services, I was called upon to lead them, which basically meant standing at the podium, conducting the flow of the service and giving a short prayer. Around the time I accepted this job as "presider" I unwittingly gave my first "testimony." Namely, I was invited to write and deliver a speech relating how a particular Bible passage applied to my life. Peter did not vet the speech beforehand, which I would later discover was a rare exception. The actual text of this speech can be read here. From then onward, I wrote a testimony every week and shared it with Peter or a small group. On special occasions I would speak to the entire congregation at the service.

The Baltimore II UBF Chapter

UBF is organized geographically into chapters. I was in the Baltimore II UBF chapter, which preys more-or-less exclusively on the students of the University of Maryland Baltimore County (UMBC). The chapter leader is Peter (my UBF teacher). The other UBF Koreans are Peter's wife Anna, and the family of Andrew and Joanna. Peter and Anna had three college age children. The main American members were Dane, David, Don, and myself. There were usually about 15 faithful members total.

Reaction of family and friends

My family was always suspicious toward my involvement in UBF. The first thing they asked me was, "Have you checked this group out?" I remember having some serious discussions with mom about what it was that I was getting into. Because of their concern, I went to the campus ministry office to see if they knew anything about UBF. Unfortunately, UMBC has no campus minister and there was never anyone in the office. Whenever I went to a big UBF meeting, my mom would always say, "Remember to think for yourself."

When I tried to get my friends involved in UBF, I was met with cold opposition. One friend said he wouldn't join because "it seems strange." I'm sure my sudden change into a religious fanatic had bewildered them. When it became clear that they wouldn't join UBF, I distanced myself from them.

Fishing ministry

The process of finding new UBF students is called "fishing ministry." Non-Korean members who participate in fishing are given the title "shepherd." In turn, the initiates are called "sheep." I began fishing ministry after about six months of being in UBF. At first I did this with the most senior American shepherd, Dane. Typically, we would look for someone who was alone, and we would explain that we were from UBF and were looking for persons interested in studying the Bible. Most people gave a flat no, and we would leave without inquiring further. Some people would say, "I already go to church" or "I went to Sunday school." Acting like spiritual know-it-alls, we would engage these persons in a conversation and quote the Bible in an attempt to show them that their current religious activities are insufficient. Then we would explain that God has a special plan for them to study the Bible one-to-one and become a Bible teacher. We would talk to anywhere between one and ten people in a period from 15 to 120 minutes. We had to report our progress at the end of the week.

Being a shepherd

After a year or two in UBF I became a full-fledged shepherd which means I began to "feed" a sheep. I did my best to teach this freshman guy everything I had been taught by Peter about Genesis. Unlike myself, this sheep's personality was not pliant so I had little success and he stopped studying after a few weeks. I may have had one or two other sheep during the next year who studied a couple times and that was all. Toward the end of my third year in UBF I fished a sheep by the name of John, who stayed with me for a year and a half. I believe Peter deliberately put a lot of pressure on John so he would drop out. John was of Asian descent and UBF prefers Caucasians.

Deeper into the mire

The first summer after joining, I attended my first UBF conference. The next summer, I had my first experiences with the dreaded "message training" and "drama training," which I will explain below. After a few years in UBF, I began living in a "common life" apartment, only to leave a few months later when my roommate left UBF. Soon after that I graduated from UMBC.

At the encouragement of UBF, I applied to PhD programs in my field. (It just so happens that UBF highly prizes advanced degrees, especially in technical and medical professions. 1) It was made clear that I was to stay with the Baltimore II UBF even after graduation. Hence, I chose to attend the best grad program in the local area, namely UM, College Park. After beginning "PhD training," I went on a "mission journey" to Germany, became a "fellowship leader" and began attending the "leaders' meeting."

Strange and cultish aspects of UBF

I could write an endless number of pages on the weird practices and beliefs of UBF. Those which touched me in a personal way are described below, in alphabetical order. The remaining salient aspects of UBF are detailed in my treatise on UBFism.

Arranged marriage

Arranged marriage or "marriage by faith" is the only accepted way of marriage in UBF. I actually witnessed an arranged marriage involving Dane, the most senior shepherd in the chapter. Dane knew full well that he was going to be married to a UBF Korean of the leaders' choosing whom he had hardly met before. Dane's only "prayer topic" was that she would be an English major (so they could perhaps communicate).

Aspersions cast on people who leave UBF

It was preached in UBF messages (sermons) that people who left UBF got into car accidents and died or became quadriplegic. Those who left UBF were shunned completely. Every manner of aspersion was cast upon them. Peter made up a complicated scheme to explain the leaving of one of his students after five years. The central component was that the student who left was playing the "female role" in a homosexual relationship with another UBF member. 2 Peter also liked to relate a story about Brent, who would have been the Abraham of Faith of the chapter had he stayed in UBF. According to Peter, he didn't want to marry the woman UBF chose for him. Instead, he wanted to marry a "very theen" woman whom he met at the pool. He left UBF and they got married. After a year, the woman became "three times fat." This was seen as God's judgment on Brent for having wanted his "own way."

Being put on the spot

Peter liked to put people on the spot and grill them with hard, personal questions in front of everybody. He also liked to ask people to make commitments on the spot in a public setting. Once at the UBF service I was asked by Peter to attend the UBF conference in Germany. I had to give him my decision immediately, in front of everyone. (Yes, I went and no, UBF did not pay for it.) On another occasion, I was sharing a life testimony and explained that I did not like being forced to do things the "Korean way." Peter interrupted and made me reread the sentence to say, "I don't like doing things God's way."

Bible study with an agenda

The meaning and purpose of Bible study is to discuss what the Bible says and what it means. UBF does not care about such things. Rather, UBF is interested in how they can twist around what is in the Bible to make it seem to fit their agenda. Often this involves reading things into the Bible that aren't there. At every one-to-one UBF study meeting, the shepherd has a predetermined idea of what the sheep should learn. There will be just enough discussion to make it seem like actual Bible study as opposed to one-way indoctrination, but even the discussion will tend to be one-sided.

Confusing jargon

UBFers constantly talk in code language. Some examples of the UBF jargon include "broken shepherd heart," "Holy Nation Woman," "junk sheep," "Abraham of Faith," and "vessel of coworkship."

Dating is not allowed

Any kind of acknowledgment of sexuality was seen as sinful. Those who entered UBF in a romantic relationship were quickly pushed to give it up. One time very early in my UBF studies, Peter asked me, "What is your sin? Maybe looking at girls' hips?" I said yes.

Deceptive recruitment

Members who are invited to join UBF are told all they have to do is attend a one-hour Bible study once a week. They are not told upfront that they will be required to do so many other things as time goes on. One time I asked Peter about this and he said, "If I had told you you would have to do all these things at the beginning, would you have joined?" I replied in the negative.

Difficulties in communication

UBF leaders do not listen with the goal of understanding. Rather, they listen to hear what they want to hear. Honest, two-way conversation rarely happens in UBF. This is not a result of cultural differences, as UBF would like everyone to think. UBF actually discourages its members from forming close relationships with their peers. Everything is channeled into the dysfunctional authoritarian shepherd/sheep relationship. For instance, if a question arises about something learned, the member should take the issue up with his/her shepherd as opposed to asking a peer about it. One time, Dane, a more senior shepherd, sat down to talk with me about the history of the "ministry" and somehow the Korean leaders found out about it. I was severely castigated by Peter's wife - "Shepherd Dane is not your shepherd!"

Drama training

Every time a UBF holiday or major conference was upcoming, I would have to participate in a play, called a "drama," scripted and directed by one of the UBF Koreans. The purpose of these plays was to entertain the audience at important UBF meetings, and to break down the personality of the actors. The manner in which we portrayed our characters in these plays was most unconventional and unnatural. I remember always being in a psychological state of dissociation when acting in UBF dramas. One time toward the end of my stay in UBF, I was told to write a script for a holiday drama. However, when we met to practice the drama, another UBF Korean showed up with a script of his own. "Ha! We never intended to use your script," he told me, "it was just training."

Eternal salvation depends on leader's approval

Most UBF members are kept in constant doubt of their salvation. Salvation appeared to be tied to the leaders' approval rather than to one's internalization of Christian principles.

Every meeting was mandatory

I often had to skip family events, including my parents' 25th wedding anniversary, to attend UBF meetings. If you didn't attend a meeting, there would be some sort of phone call or follow-up to find out why. Those who missed meetings were looked down upon and criticized by the leaders as "unfaithful to God."

Hierarchy of power

Called "spiritual order" by UBFers. There is a clear pecking order among long-standing members and even new recruits. Generally seniority rules, although sometimes those who are particularly well-trained rise above their juniors. Members who are lower on the hierarchy are expected to be thankful towards the higher-ups. Higher-ups are encouraged to rebuke those below them, but the other way around is not allowed.

Jealousy and rivalries

There was a bitter rivalry between Peter's wife and the UBF Korean wife of Dane. Peter assented, "They are worse than unbelievers." Peter himself was intensely resentful of Jacob Lee, leader of the UBF in Washington, DC.3

Made-up "sins" and "problems"

If you did not have problems in your life before coming to UBF, UBF would make up fake problems for you to struggle with. Typical made-up "sins" and "problems" include "laziness," "pride," "selfishness," "pleasure seeking," "easygoing life," "job problem," "marriage problem," and having one's "own idea," "own plan," or "own way."

Mental problems seen as spiritual problems

UBF attracts a disproportionate amount of people with mental problems. These medical conditions are seen as being strictly spiritual difficulties. One of Peter's sheep took medication for ADHD. Peter ordered him to stop taking his medication and supposedly "cured" him. Two other sheep were depressed and heard voices at times. Peter rebuked them because he thought they were "demon-possessed."

Message training

With message training, you start out writing your own sermon, what UBFers call a "message." Always, by the time I got to deliver it to an audience, my work underwent so many revisions at Peter's direction that it was no longer my message, but Peter's message spoken by proxy. A great deal of spiritual manipulation takes place during message training. For the 2003 spring Bible academy, I did my first training session with a different UBF Korean called Andrew. Unlike Peter, Andrew encouraged me to emphasize God's grace in my life over performance at UBF tasks. However, I finished the message training with Peter and had to completely rewrite and rethink the message according to his desires. Then, just after I delivered the message which he had vetted, Peter denounced me in front of everyone at the service. "Please pray for Shep-a-dah Frank," he exclaimed, "I am very discouraged that he does not accept his own mess age!" (Note: a sample UBF message and commentary are available here.)

Numerical quotas

UBF prayers are full of numbers. All the leaders have quotas they have to meet in terms of the number of initiates they indoctrinate per week. Each fellowship or chapter has numerical goals for their membership and these are prayed for regularly. Also, there are number goals such as "10,000 house churches in America." Especially mindless were the prayers for 523 campuses in USA and 250 in Canada. These numbers are nowhere near correct, but they are taken very seriously. Once we went to a conference and discovered that Chicago was praying for 253 campuses in Canada. So from then on Peter corrected us and we prayed for 253.

People's names were changed

One time Peter suddenly changed the names of two Korean women in the chapter. Jaewon became Joanna and Gail changed to Susanna. I have no idea why or if they had any input into what their names would be.

Persecution complex

UBF members are paranoid about negative views of their organization. Events such as being thrown out of the library for "fishing" there were seen as "persecution." The most common "persecutions" were at the hands of family members who disagreed with UBF. Family members were seen as enemies of God and enemies of the "ministry."

Peter's out of control ego

At every meeting he had to have the first and last word. His opinion was always seen as superior to others'. His tone toward others was often mocking, especially toward his own family. One instance where Peter was publicly humiliating his son was especially chilling - "Very sorry, Shep. Dane and Shep. Frank, but I want to brainwasheemyson! He must be brainwasheed into Jejzurz," Peter exclaimed.

Racism

Black and Asian people were not seen as desirable UBF candidates because "they have their own culture." One of my "sheep" was Asian. I was told by Peter's wife to get a white "sheep" next time.

Terrible gossip

There was always some sort of intrigue going on in our chapter. Peter and his wife were huge gossip mongers. Peter regularly told me about the personal problems of his other UBF students. For example, one time he told me that his student had confided in him that he was afraid his penis was too small. "Ha! It is not effecteev," Peter mocked.

The belief that no one outside of UBF is "saved"

At one Friday meeting, Peter asked everybody what percentage of people would go to heaven. I answered ten percent. Another person answered five percent. Peter then corrected everybody, saying, "Only one or two percent." He also said that no one that goes to sporting events at Camden Yards, the Baltimore ballpark, is saved.
The leader is always right

During my time in UBF, there was a feeling that I would face God's condemnation if I didn't do things Peter's way. It took me four years in UBF to realize that he was not right all the time.

The UBF voice

A good portion of UBF people, including Americans, talk in a halting, exaggerated manner, often mispronouncing words and omitting articles. For example, the perennial phrase of "fishing ministry:" "Would you like to study Bible?" UBFers are more likely to use the UBF voice when delivering an important message or testimony than in normal conversation.

Titles

Everyone in UBF is addressed by a title. The lowest level title is "brother" or "sister" and is reserved for new recruits. Next is "shepherd" or "shepherdess" (often abbreviated S., Sh., Shp. or Shps.). This title is used for those who recruit "sheep." The most exalted title is "missionary," (abbreviated M., Mis. or Misn.). All Korean UBF adults are called "missionary." Those who have doctoral degress get an additional title "doctor." The original leader of UBF was called "Missionary Doctor Samuel Lee" (even though his degrees are fake). The UBF cofounder Sara Barry has a special title, "Reverend Mother."
Your leader makes major and minor life decisions for you

From what you study, to how you spend your time, to when and whom you marry, UBF leaders expect access to all areas of your life. UBF members are not generally free to make their own decisions. I remember Peter spent many hours "advising" one of my peers through looking for a job after he graduated.

Leaving UBF

I don't want to try to imagine anything more difficult than leaving the cult. It was a year-long process of questioning the UBF system and the leader's authority. I was giving voice to some of my doubts, mainly in my own head, although sometimes I made my doubts public. I committed myself to finding out the truth even if it was different than what the group taught. I was reading Christian books such as Healing for Damaged Emotions and Healing Grace by David Seamands and Tired of Trying to Measure Up by Jeff VanVonderen. I really wished I could get away from UBF for long enough to clear my thoughts. Some times I would go on long drives at night to get away and think. Actually, I took a vacation for a couple days. With the help of those books, I came to the conclusion that I was definitely overburdened by UBF and by my school work.

Attempts to confront the leaders

Twice I attempted to confront UBF leaders about things I did not feel comfortable with. Foolishly, I went directly to Peter first. As soon as he got the sense of where the discussion was going, he turned the tables and began lambasting me. "You are worse than worm crawling in dirt," he said. I tried to respond by saying that I had accepted Jesus into my life through Mark 10:45 and I believed I was saved. Peter said no. "Do you remember when we were at conference and I gave you direction to drink orange juice and eat all different kinds of food? You did not obey!" (Peter did not even know or care that at his direction I had actually begun drinking orange juice and that I was trying many different kinds of food I didn't like.) Peter succeeded in convincing me that I was an unrepentant sinner in need of salvation. The ensuing few months were some of the most terrible times in my life because of the guilt and confusion I felt.

A second time, I went to talk to Dane about the way things were being handled in the chapter. I began by saying that I was concerned about the lack of grace in UBF and some apparent misunderstandings between the leadership and the members. I was hoping we could engineer some change in our chapter. However, as soon as Dane got wind that I was trying to address a problem, he took over the conversation and began defending and praising Peter, even though I had not mentioned Peter in a negative light.

Private doubts and confusion

Some entries in my journal from my last few months in UBF illustrate the mental and physical strain I was under.

* June 18: "It bothers me that they will pray for me to feed 12 sheep or do something, but not for me to stand firm in the gospel."
* June 20: "I have a general not happy, uncomfortable feeling, like I need a long long time of rest and recovery from brutal abuse. There is a pressure in my chest that is like a million-pound burden."
* July 3: "My life is really out of balance."
* July 7: "There is a destructive air of a secret society about it. There is more focus about UBF than about Jesus. Our ministry doesn't strive to live by the entire New Testament, just by certain UBF customs."
* July 9: "Weighed 111 lb."
* August 16: "Tried to go to sleep around 2am, but found that mind was very active and prone to uncontrollable negative thinking, especially worrying about spiritual life or doubts."

The End

Once toward the end of my stay in UBF, Peter decided I would deliver a message based on the healing of the Gerasene demoniac in Luke 8. Peter asked me to name the "demon" that was in my "heart," implying that he believed I was demon-possessed. I was at first shocked that he would suggest such a thing, but I eventually capitulated and concluded that my "demon" was perfectionism. I wrote a twelve-page (single spaced) testimony detailing my problem of perfectionism, both spiritually and practically. Then, Peter told me my demon was not perfectionism but my "own idea" and "own way," but he would not explain what he meant by this. (After leaving UBF, I realized he meant that I was demon-possessed because I did not obey him "absolutely" and think like a robot the way he wanted me to.)

Despite Peter's attempts to plant doubt in me, I eventually returned to the theme of taking grace seriously. So I tried to take it easier at UBF. I still came to all the events and did everything that was asked of me, but no more. I was glad to give up leading a fellowship. I also dropped out of the PhD program, as I was paralyzed by my spiritual confusion.

At the very end, I called in sick to one of the meetings and spent a few days without any group contact. One of the things I decided during that time was that Peter was not qualified to be the leader of any church group. I was reading in the New Testament about the qualifications of church leaders and one was, "He must not be overbearing" (see Titus 1:7). Peter is definitely overbearing and I think any member of Baltimore II would privately assent to that. I also took a quick glance at the online testimonies of some former UBFers, but was unsure of how much to believe because I had been told that these websites were Satan's lies.

Finally, one day I visited a park with my mother. We discussed my thoughts that something was really wrong with this group. At this point, I did not think that Peter would have done anything to hurt me intentionally. I just thought there was a big misunderstanding between us. In any case, I decided to end my association with the group once and for all. That evening I called Peter and told him I would not be coming back. He began telling me that without UBF, I would lose my salvation. Then, he asked me, "Do you think Bible study caused you to give up your PhD?" I knew this was a trick to make me feel guilty, but I was confident that my decision to leave UBF was entirely for spiritual reasons, not because of its effect on my studies. So I told him I had nothing more to say to him, and hung up. I have not had contact with any UBF member since that day. My total time in UBF was five years, one and a half months.

Life after UBF

Assessing the damage

The day after I left UBF, I began to see a pattern of deliberate deception and manipulation in what I had previously classed as misunderstandings between Peter and myself. Put in simpler terms, I realized I was in a cult. Around this time, I also accepted the fact that I was in need of help for depression and anxiety. I had been having anxiety attacks and dizzy spells from time to time during the past three years. As a result of the mental tension I was undergoing, I developed chronic myofascial pain in most of my body. So I began to take medication and go to psychotherapy. Also, I decided to stay away from school for the time being. I would not have tried to go for a PhD had it not been UBF's desire.

Stagnation

During the half-year immediately following my cult exit, I was in a dense fog of depression. My visit to the Wellspring retreat center in Ohio did offer a ray of hope. There I learned about Lifton's eight points of thought reform, and saw how each of them was used in UBF. I also appreciated the caring nature of the staff there. Unfortunately, when I got home from Wellspring, I didn't know what to do with my time. Since I was not working, I spent most of my time at home either stewing or reading about cults, psychology, and spiritual things. For recreation, I played video games and squash. Although it was a dark time for me, I remember having some feeling of wonder because I felt like I was in a time warp - as if I had just woken up from a five-year coma.

Rebuilding a life

It eventually became clear to me that my medications were not helping my depression. At the suggestion of my psychotherapist, I entered myself into psychiatric hospitalization. I spent a week in the inpatient ward and a month attending the outpatient program. Many positive things came out of my stay in the hospital. I was set up with an excellent doctor and therapist, was started on medication that helped me sleep, and it was made clear to me that I needed to get out of the house regularly. I began two volunteer jobs. Volunteering helped me re-accommodate myself to being out and about in the non-cult world.

About a year after leaving UBF I started working in a paid position in a field completely different from what I studied and worked at while in the group. Also, a new set of medications began to take hold. I was seeing exciting glimpses of what life could be like without being weighed down all the time. I also began to make new friends from my contacts in volunteering and work.

Spiritual growth

My UBF experience had the effect of deepening my connection to the spiritual. When I left UBF I was very in touch with my spiritual side and I felt that leaving UBF was definitely what God wanted me to do. I have been through a few spiritual phases since leaving UBF.

* The first phase was the "I'm still afraid to go to church" phase. This lasted a few months and I kept my spiritual life strong by praying and reading Christian literature. During this time, I would have classed myself as a conservative Evangelical.
* The next couple months were my church-finding phase. I studied up on just about every Christian denomination known to man and attended church at a few of them.
* Third was my moderate, United Methodist phase. I found a church home at the University United Methodist Church in College Park, MD. I decided to stay there because of their excellent assistant minister and the high quality of people in their campus ministry. I participated in group Bible studies on campus (led by the minister), assisted with sound and video at worship services, and sang in the contemporary Christian choir. This phase lasted a year and a half.
* Currently I am being drawn into ever more progressive ways of thinking. Some great books disintegrated what was remaining of my conservatism. They included Rescuing the Bible from Fundamentalism by Bishop Spong, Reading the Bible Again for the First Time: Taking the Bible Seriously but not Literally by Marcus Borg, and Why the Jews Rejected Jesus by David Klinghoffer. I became convinced that the Bible is the fallible work of humans and that uncertainty is the mark of religious maturity. I no longer hold to most of the traditional Christian doctrines about Jesus, but Jesus' teachings still form a significant part of my moral foundations.

Conclusion

My decision to leave UBF stands as the best decision of my life and I am very grateful for it. Given the grave nature of what I went through, it would have been easy to give up on life. However, I decided to face directly every challenge life has thrown at me and have done surprisingly well. Depression and anxiety no longer rule my life. I feel good about myself and am encouraged that wherever I go, people seem to like me and think that I am a really good person. I have learned to think for myself and to say "no" when necessary. I am finally re-entering the field in which I was educated. There still remains some work left to be done in my recovery, most of it related to dating and relationships. In all, there is a bright future for me and indeed anyone with the will and perseverance to get themselves out of UBF.

Footnotes

1. Note that UBF does not prize theological degrees. Rather, theological education is discouraged. Almost no UBF member has any formal theological training. (On very rare occasions, some UBF chapters will bring a guest speaker from a Bible college in an attempt to gain legitimacy within Christian circles.)

2. Apparently, Peter got this idea from a "Bible study" session with the UBFer before he left. They were discussing a passage that Peter believes says homosexuality is sinful. When Peter shared this view, the student pounded his fist on the table and got up. Peter then put his hands on him and yelled, "Confess! You have evil homosexual demons in your heart." Peter related, "I was ready to fight him." Then, one day the UBFer who was about to leave invited the other UBFer over to dinner. Peter claimed that by cooking dinner he was acting like a woman, and suggested that the two of them may have been gay lovers.

3. According to Peter, when he came to the USA in the early 1990s, he went to Washington UBF and was told by Jacob Lee that his job would be to drive students to and from services. Peter wanted to be able to "pioneer" his own chapter. So he successfully appealed to Chang Woo Lee and was granted the Baltimore II chapter in the mid-1990s. Peter considers himself spiritually superior to Jacob Lee. Once he said that the only UBF chapters that were worth their salt were Chicago and LA. So he refused to "cowork" with other UBF chapters in the region. Especially, we looked down on all of the Washington and Baltimore I UBFers as second-class because they had "so many missionaries" and not many "sheep." Because they were not "fruitful," we assumed they had a spiritual "problem."